


Music to His Ears

by PencilOnly



Series: Playing Our Heartstrings [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blanket Permission, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Marco Bott, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 89,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PencilOnly/pseuds/PencilOnly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the Pencil-Only Jeanmarco AU: Marco is a high school music/theater teacher fresh out of college and Jean, who is the brother of one of his students, ends up getting dragged to parent teacher conferences. So when Marco finishes explaining his class he asks if they have any questions, Jean blurts out, “Are you single?” Marco blushes like crazy and Jean’s sister, Hitch, looks like she is done with the world.</p>
<p>Marco's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Someone Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello old and new readers, I've updated this chapter just a little bit to have it match up to my current writing style. Enjoy and thanks for reading!
> 
> -PencilOnly

**November  3rd**

6:30 AM

I don’t know what woke me up first, the sound of my alarm from my phone that rests on my nightstand next to my bed, or the familiar yet always painful weight and pokes of sharp claws on my stomach. I groan and open one eye to see a pair of bright blue ones staring back at me that belong to my cat. She’s hungry. This is what she always does to me when I’m not up to feed her yet.  

“Tuff..” I sigh and sit up, picking her up off me to kiss her fluffy face before setting her to the side. “I’ll get your food in a minute.” I murmur, still tired as I wave my cat onwards. I hear the low rumble of a purr from her chest as she turns and leaps off my bed, disappearing from the room. Yawning, I lean over and tap my phone screen to shut the alarm off before I slip out of bed and trudge to the kitchen to pour Tuff some food- saving grace that I didn’t trip as she weaved her way in between my legs. I scratch her back for a second before straightening up to head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for work.

Honestly, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I practically just graduated from college. To boot I moved far away from home to get my first job. Everything here in Trost is a first- first job, first apartment which isn’t that great- it’s tiny, the landlord isn’t very nice and problems happen often here. But, all of it is mine. I’m officially on my own and out in the work world.

The shower doesn’t take long, and neither does getting dressed but what feels like an eternity is watching my hot pocket spin around in the microwave as the time counts down. Instead of mulling over it, I turn and pack myself lunch until the microwave beeps.

_A teacher huh…_ I smile as I take a moment to breath before grabbing my bag full of papers to sling it over my shoulder and straighten my tie. I understand that the school is very well known and has a dress code but I think it’s a little overboard to dress this nice every single day of the week. I get to wear my converse with no complaints though. I can thank god for that.

“See you Tuff, don’t get into any trouble!” I call out loud enough so that my cat hears from wherever she disappeared to after eating breakfast. I hear a faint mewl from my bedroom which makes me laugh softly to myself as I step out of my apartment, shutting and locking the door behind me as routine before stepping down the stairs. Luckily, the school is nearby, so I walk there every day. Well, I walk everywhere.

Trost High School. A private school that is well spoken of and regarded around the city. How I got a job here… I don’t even know. I don’t know why on earth someone with that big of a name hire a fresh out of college graduate. Being a brand new teacher is tough.. and isolating. Only a couple people seem to hate me so far, everyone else seems to like me- I think?

I step inside the school through one of the side doors and pass through the teacher’s lounge to drop off my lunch, opening the fridge to set my lunch bag inside.

“Morning, Marco!” A voice greets me. I straighten up to close the door, only to be confronted by a woman in a lab coat with a wide smile and shining eyes behind her glasses. Hanji Zoe, who happens to be one of my favorite co workers at the school, especially since she showed me the ropes the first day. She teaches the chemistry classes and is more eccentric than not and a little terrifying, but she is a big relief to talk to at lunch time.

“Morning Hanji.” I return the greeting with a smile

“Ready for your first parent teacher conferences today?” She asks, walking up beside me to throw her lunch in the fridge as well.

I give her a nervous laugh, because if there is one thing that scares me more than the school board is the parents. “As ready as I’ll ever be?” I question.

“Don’t fret over it, Marco. You’ll be fine sweetie.”

“Thank you” I chuckle softly at her encouragement. I need it.

She hums in delight, “Off to class then. Go teach those little music babies.”

“Alright alright Hanji.” I laugh wholeheartedly now as she shoos me toward my classroom, palms pressed against my back as I’m steered out of the lounge.

♬

The end of the day bell rings to dismiss students at 2:30 and my classroom becomes loud with chairs squeaking and scratching against the floor as well as rustling of papers and bags as the students hurry up to get to their lockers and leave the place they probably think of as hell till the next day. As soon as the last student drags their feet out of the classroom I slump back in my computer chair. I take a deep breath and tilt my head back to stare at the ceiling as I start giving myself a pep talk.

“You got this.” I whisper, even though I am alone in the classroom, but it’s enough to reassure myself, along with Hanji’s words of encouragement echoing in the back of my mind. Straightening back up, I lean forward and go through the papers scattered across my desk, organizing according to which families arrive first. The first parent group is supposed to arrive at 2:40, which gives me ten minutes to mentally prepare for the worst.

Each conference lasts about five to ten minutes, depending on how fast the parents want to leave verses how much they want to go in depth about their child’s education. Eleven introductions and one very very upset couple later and it nears about 4:20. Now, what was up with these parents I’ll never know. They ranted on and on about how music and art classes are pointless and how they are wasting their money having to make their child take them since they are part of the curriculum. Then they went on about how the way I was running the class was not educational at all and that I’m not even preparing them for college. Of course, being the brand spanking new teacher, they poked and prodded about that as well. That was fifteen minutes of torture that I had to suffer through and all I could do was smile politely.   

Before I could even recover and take a breather from the last conference, my classroom door swings open and Hitch Kirschstein walks in, ten minutes early and alone. She doesn’t say a word as she walks up to the front where I have some desks pulled out and takes a seat, legs crossed at the ankles and arms tucked against her chest. Now Hitch is the.. school’s troublemaker, from what I can put together. Apparently she’s a nightmare in other classes, from what I’ve heard other teachers gossip about. I mean, sure she is a handful, but I live having her in my class. She’s lively. Keeps me on my toes. Literally.

“Hitch?” I question, “You’re early.” She glances up at me when I speak and I give her a small smile.

“I know. My brother is coming.” She states, which catches me off guard. Her brother? I mean that’s fine but I guess I would have liked to meet her parents at least?

“I- That’s fine.. I would have preferred your parents to come though?” I keep my voice calm, giving her a thoughtful look.

“They had a thing.” She mutters quickly with a huff and looks to the ground. I don’t think that’s the truth. One thing I learned about Hitch from class is that if you pay attention you can tell when she’s lying. Usually it’s lying about homework or being late for class but that’s not the case here.

“Alright.” I just nod in understanding and look back to my papers again. “Can you tell me his name so I don’t make a fool of myself?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood

She looks up at me now, cracking that familiar cocky smile that eases my heart some, “Jean.”

“Jean.” I repeat back at her for clarification, since it sounds French and my language skills aren’t always the best.

I get a nod in approval as her arms uncross and lay on her lap in a more confident posture. “Yeah. He’s a butt most of the time.” She flashes me a grin of mischief.

Leave it to siblings to make fun of the other. I know that feeling well. But trying to be professional, I bite at my bottom lip to hold in my laugh. “I’ll take your word for it.”

We don’t talk much after that, just comments here and there to fill the time. 4:30 comes around and I tell Hitch is pissed. Her brows are furrowed and her foot taps the ground impatiently. “He’s late.” She mutters under her breath. I smile to myself and continue writing things down on the papers on my desk.

“He’s not late.” I reassure her.

It’s two minutes past the appointment time and Hitch looks like she’s about to murder someone. We both look up when we hear the classroom door open and see a head peak in. Jean- I take it, steps inside and looks around the classroom, like most of the parents had done. But instead of sitting down yet, he looks over at me and we both lock stares for a moment till it gets awkward, I mean really awkward for me at least. God love Hitch, she turns in her chair and breaks the eye contact. “Jean. You’re late.” She accuses.

In an automatic motion, Jean looks down at his watch. “It’s 4:32.” He points out, like two minutes wasn’t a big deal, and it really isn’t.  

“Exactly.” Hitch responds, turning back around. I have to try to contain a smile because sibling banter can be the best thing sometimes. I get up from my desk to meet Jean when he decides to come all the way to the front. Now I can get a better look at him. I don’t know what I was expecting but even I can admit he doesn’t look half bad. At first glance, he looks like a punk or something just cause of all his sharp features. But he’s got a two toned undercut, sharp light brown eyes that reflect gold when the light hits them. Tad bit shorter than me, long sharp jaw… aaand I need to stop being so observant.  

“H-hi.” His greeting thankfully snaps me out of my thoughts. I smile because I can he’s a little nervous, but so am I.

I extend my hand out to him, “You must be Jean, right?”

He nods with a smile as he returns the handshake. Time to start introductions all over again.

“I’m Marco Bodt, the music and theater professor-- teacher...” I trail off in my greeting after I correct myself. I feel my face burn a little from embarrassment. I had said it perfectly eleven times already and I mess up now? I’m not sure if it’s because Jean is about the same age as me but there goes my confidence out the window. “Sorry- I’m so used to using professor rather than teacher since I just got out of college and-” I realize that I’m ranting an explanation and I clear my throat to add, “Sorry. Again, let’s just talk about Hitch.” I motion to the chair next to Hitch for him to sit down as I turn and lean back against my desk.

He takes a seat and I kinda wait for him to start asking me questions like the last few hours had been going but he just silently watches me from his spot till Hitch suddenly drives her elbow into his side.

“So the parents couldn’t make it or something so tell me about the havoc that Hitch is reaping and I’ll report back nothing but the truth” He states and I try to keep a straight face as Hitch gives him another elbow jab. I look between the two, actually picking out some similarities that make them obvious siblings. They share the same scowl, the same pointed nose. It’s actually amusing.  

“Well, it’s actually nothing bad.” I start, pausing as Jean mocks Hitch with a dramatic sigh of relief. I smile and continue, “The  administration says these conferences are mandatory so parents can get an overview of how their kids are doing. I think Hitch is doing very well- I enjoy having her in my class.” It was the truth, I really do find her fun to have in class. So I add, while looking down at the papers in my hand, “She does make things more _interesting_ in class but she is actually demonstrating that everything she needs to learn is being absorbed.”

This is thankfully more laidback than the other conferences, since I don’t have two parents breathing up my neck. I’m definitely not as afraid to mess up, since I already did so in the beginning. “I’m still learning too, but we’ll get into the swing of things.” I admit.

I glance up to see Hitch and Jean throwing looks at each other. Did.. I say something weird? Jean suddenly laughs, or fails trying not to. Hate to admit it but I like the sound of his laugh. “Is she in the first class of students you’ve had?” He asks.

I chuckle, thinking back to the first day of class. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare, but it was. “Technically, yes. I mean I was a student teacher for a semester for practice but that doesn’t really count.” I bring my hand up to push my bangs back into place.

“Jesus, That can’t be easy....sixteen year olds suck.” Jean looks away from me to give a knowing glance at Hitch, who’s ignoring him as she’s playing with her hair. I don’t blame her. Our glances move from Hitch to each other at the same time. I give another smile.

“Well, do you need to tell me anything else or anything I need to know. These conferences feel short when the teacher isn’t ranting about how much of a dick you are-” Jean is cut off as Hitch snorts and I’m trying not to make some odd noise as well as I try to keep laughter in, hand over my mouth.

I give in and laugh softly, feeling relieved about this whole meeting. I run a hand through my hair as the tension slips away. Nothing like an easy going conference to give myself a break. “...Do you have any questions?” I ask, since he is right, this conference was fairly short, but I’m sure Hitch would love to get home.

I expectantly wait for his answer, but he is silent for a moment. I follow his gaze up and down as he seems to be.. looking me over.. all over. I bite the inside of my cheek as my gut gives me a sick warning feeling. I have the feeling to run, or at least hide.

“Well, are you single?”

_What now?_ I take a few moments to register the question before it hits me like a freight train. Smack dab in the face. I look away from both of them as I feel the heat spread over my face. _Calm down, calm down_ , I tell myself. Everything in me is screaming to avoid because I know what that question will lead to. I don’t need something like this- not now, not yet. I take a shallow breath and look up at him now, his eyebrow cocked as he waits for my answer.

“Preferably questions about my class.” I reply, keeping my voice steady so it doesn’t crack and make more of a fool out of myself than I already have.

He laughs. He freaking laughs- I’m embarrassed beyond belief and his wonderful laugh is NOT helping. He opens his mouth to add something else but a knock sounds from outside the door, signaling that it was time for the next conference. I don’t even try to hide my sigh of relief at this point. Things were going so well and I got blind sided.

Hitch gets up from her seat and so does Jean but I stay put, still practically gripping the edge of the desk. “Well then Mr. Bodt. Here is my card if you know- ever have any concerns or problems with Hitch. It was enlightening to talk to you” He muses as he smiles at me, holding out a card. I reluctantly take it, slipping into my pocket as he turns to leave.

“You ready?” Jean asks Hitch as he slings his arm around her shoulder, ruffling her hair with his free hand.

“I was ready like 5 minutes ago you jackass” She hisses as they leave. The door shuts behind them and can still hear his laugh through the door.

I sit there for a minute, trying to still process what happened. “Oh god....” I mutter to myself as I get up to go welcome the next set of parents in. Time to do this all over again.

♬

8 PM

I am _finally_ home. It’s official, parents scare the crap out of me and I dislike parent teacher conferences very much. I hear a meow as I close the door behind me, leaning back against it as Tuff comes up to greet me, weaving her way in between my legs.

I pick her up and bury my face in her fur, “I’m home.” I mumble, trying not to get a mouthful of cat hair. She squirms out of my hold and I don’t try and fight it, letting her jump out of my arms. I stay there for a few long minutes, watching her run off to my bedroom. I rub the back of my neck in silence, I’m hungry... but I’m not. My mind is running in circles so I feel like I would be sick if I ate. It’s not that late and I could always make something in an hour or so but I try to be asleep by then.

I inhale and breathe out through my nose before stepping farther into my apartment, slipping off my shoes as I trail through the living room. I head for my bedroom and belly flop down onto it, burying my face in the pillow. I hear Tuff jump up on the bed and I feel her tiny little weapons  dig into my back as she walks onto me. Tiny cotton ball of death. I’m pretty sure she owns me, not the other way around.

I wiggle my arms out from under me and wrap them around the pillow, staring at the headboard. _Are you single?_ Jean’s question runs through my mind over and over. “Yea..” I answer the question aloud to myself. “....Dammit all.” It shouldn’t bother me this much but it does.

I huff and reach into my pocket to grab my phone, Jean’s business card falling out and is quickly snatched up by Tuff who disappears with it under my bed. I scroll through the contacts to find my cousin’s name, clicking the green phone button to call her.

My cousin Ymir- is a fearless lesbian. About ten years older than me, happily married to a sweet girl named Historia. Ymir has been my second mom and big sister  for my whole life. She scares the crap out of me sometimes but she has done so much for me. I listen to the rings of my phone before a click and I hear her voice.

_“What’s wrong?”_ Ymir answers, not wasting any time.

“Why do you think something is wrong?” I pout, still not believing that she guessed right.

_“‘Cause I KNOW you Marco. Come on. What’s wrong? Students got your panties in a twist?”_ I hear her laugh on the other end of the line.

I pause before answering, “I think someone tried asking me out today?”

_“You think? Either they did or they didn’t cousin.”_

“He asked if I was single, Ymir.”

_“A guy asked you if you were single!?”_ She laughs, and I couldn’t tell if she was teasing me or if she was happy about this. She knows me better than anyone else so it could be a good or bad thing.

“Yes-” My voice cracks, “I don’t know what to do..” I admit. I don’t think I can even handle dating someone right now, but he did seem nice.

_“Was he cute?”_

“What? Ymir that- yes a little but that doesn’t matter right now! It was at a parent teacher conference and-”

_“Woah wait-”_ She cuts me off, _“Parent teacher conference- Marco did you get hit on by an old man??_ ” I pull the phone away from my ear as her voice gets louder in surprise.

“No! He is the brother of one of my students!” I clarify.

_“So what’s the problem then?”_ I hear her bite into some kind of chip, chewing it obnoxiously loud in my ear.

“I don’t know what to do- we literally just met and I just don’t know- okay?”

_“Listen, Marco. Just calm down. You will probably NEVER see him again. So don’t let it bother you.”_ She hums, entertained at my expense.

“....Fine.. You’re probably right.” I admit tiredly. Is her advice always right? No, but it’s something.

_“Get some sleep nerd.”_

“You get some sleep you ass.”

_“Not as much ass as you might get!”_

“YMIR!” I practically yell at her, “Goodnight” I hiss, ending the call before she gets a chance to retaliate, her loud cackling laugh cut off.

I groan and set my phone on my nightstand before resting my head against the pillow. She’s probably right though, I’ll most likely never see him again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, ready for sleep. One thought runs through my mind is that if I ever do see him again… I stand no chance.


	2. Paralyzed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco's week goes back to normal after the parent teacher conference and meeting Jean for the first time. He hangs out with Armin and joined him, Eren and Mikasa for lunch.
> 
> "You left me paralyzed  
> And now I'm stuck  
> You've got me stuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the next chapter for Marco's POV. Jean's should be up tonight or tomorrow cause theunbloggable needs to get to her computer. Enjoy!

 There are days when they just feel _too_ normal, and I don’t know whether to be relieved or not about it. That’s how the rest of the week after meeting Jean felt. Normal. Painfully normal and I didn’t like it.

Hitch didn’t mention her brother or anything and I didn’t bring it up either. Classes carried on like nothing happened and brought me back to a sense of peace once again. I carried Ymir’s words in the back of my mind, _You’ll probably never see him again._ I wanted to believe that but part of me was wishing it wouldn’t come true.

♬

“Marco!” I hear my name from the doorway and I look up to see Armin.

Armin is the school’s librarian. A small blond man who always has glasses and part of his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He’s small and adorable and could probably pass as a girl. He has the sweetest personality and is incredibly smart too. Which is why I’m glad we are talking more since he’s been here for about two years and he’s always glad to show me the ropes of how things work.

“Hey Armin! What’s up?” I smile, pushing my glasses to the top of my head. I had forgotten to put my contacts in this morning.

Armin walks inside the room, a pile of books in his arms. “It’s your free period right? Want to come up and help me sort before lunch? You can come out to eat with Eren, Mikasa and I!” He chimes, offering me company.

I swear he reads people so well cause I am dying for some company. “Sure!” I grin, standing from my chair and stride to meet him, leaning down to take the books from his arms. 

We take a left out of my classroom and head to the edge of the hall where the library is. “I’m really excited for the play~” He hums as we push through the glass doors. 

I give a soft laugh, “Of course you are. But I’m glad someone other than me is.”

“It’ll be great! I mean the last teacher didn’t come up with anything interesting. And the other teachers are excited too, they just don’t want to show it.”

I tilt my head to the side, setting the stack of books down on his desk, “You think so?” Which is a stupid question to ask cause it’s Armin. He knows everything. 

“I know so Marco.” He laughs, giving me a smile. 

I smile back cause I can’t help it. “I’ll take your word for it.” I start to sort through the books like he taught me once already. “Are you sure I can come with you guys to eat? I thought you said this was your date lunch days?” 

Armin is childhood friends with the two PE teachers, Eren and Mikasa. Apparently Eren and Mikasa aren’t related at all, which I assumed before but from what Armin told me, she lost her parents at a young age and has stayed with Eren ever since. But along with childhood friend, the three are in a relationship with each other. To most it may sound odd or gross but honestly I think it’s sweet. I could understand when I saw the way they acted around each other. 

Armin gives a sharp nod, his blue eyes shining behind his glasses, “Of course! You need more friends other than Hanji.”

I laugh cause he’s right again, Hanji is great but she’ll be the death of me when she gets on her science talk sprees. “Okay” I give in, “But you’re my friend too, right?”

Armin rolls his eyes with a smile, “What do you think?” He walks past me and nudges his arm against mine. 

“Yes?” I smile, ending my answer sounding like a question. 

“Yes.” He confirms and we burst out laughing. It feels good to laugh like this, hanging out with Armin just feels good in general. 

We don’t say much else to each other as we weave through the aisles of books to return each one to it’s rightful place. But after a while Armin breaks the silence, “So Marco, are you dating anyone?” 

I snap my head in his direction, eyes wide and the blush creeping over my face, “What?? N-no.. I.. I’m not.” 

Armin comes over and pats my back gently, “It’s ok Marco, it’s just a question. I’m sorry if I caught you off guard.” 

The blush recedes slowly and I feel bad for nearly flipping out on him. “No, I’m not..” I repeat my answer more calmly this time. “I.. I haven’t been in town for that long.. and I feel like I’m not ready for a relationship right now..” There is more complex reasons to that but it was the gist of it. 

Armin gives a nod, “I understand that.” he soothes, rubbing my back. Damnit he knows something else is wrong. 

“Someone asked me if I was single and I don’t know how to handle it.” I admit to him, weakening under the back rub. 

“Why are you not sure Marco?” He tilts his head to look up at me. 

“I don’t know.. one he’s the brother of my student and..” I trail off at a loss for words. 

“Is it because he’s a guy?” Armin asks softly. 

I shake my head no, leaning my forehead against the bookshelf. It’s definitely not that. I know that 100% because I’m pansexual. I just have that mind set that love shouldn’t be limited by genders alone. So it wasn’t that. “No.. I just.. he’s really easy to talk to and I just really want a friend outside of work like that..” I mumble. 

“Then ask him to be your friend.” Armin replies simply, giving my back a few hard pats. 

I blink, looking over at him, “That simple?”

He nods a yes and I turn to him and smile. “Thanks Armin.”

“Anytime Marco.” He hums and puts the last book away. “Ready to go eat? We’re going to Olive Garden as quickly as we can.” 

I break into a grin, “Hell yes.” I am starving and Olive Garden sounds soo much better than my peanut butter sandwich. 

“We’re walking since it’s close.” Armin says as we go find Eren and Mikasa. 

“....Thanks.” I murmur softly. I haven’t told Armin why I don’t like cars but he just sorta feels when I get upset and tries his best to help me avoid them.

“What friends are for.” Armin smiles up at me, lacing his arm around mine and giving my hand a few pats.

“Armin, are you kidding. You’re my best friend.” I laugh cause it’s true. 

“I plan to keep it that way.” He jokes, nudging me. 

“ARMIN! MARCO!” 

I flinch at the loud voice and we turn around to see Eren and Mikasa walking down the hallway toward us. We stop and wait for them after we wave back in acknowledgment. 

“Ready for some damn good food?” Eren asks as he arrives, kissing Armin on the cheek and Mikasa does the same.

“Yup.” Armin and I answer in unison, smiling like dorks. 

We chat as we leave the school to head over to Olive Garden a few streets over. In the restaurant we sit at a booth, Armin and Mikasa sit together while I’m next to Eren.

Eren wraps his arm around my neck, “So Marco.” I wince cause he’s the freaking P.E. teacher and he’s strong so it hurts a little. “You said you play piano right?” 

I blink and glance over to him, “Yea? Why?” I ask, kinda confused where the question came from. I smile and poke at his side to get him to release my neck.

“No reason. I just think it’s crazy amazing is all.” He laughs and unhooks his arm, “I mean I tried it once- and I failed so hard.”

“It wasn’t a pretty sight.” Mikasa adds as she looks through the menu. 

Eren rolls his eyes, “All I’m saying is, I respect you for that and if you need anything just ask. You go to Armin for all kinds of stuff so Mikasa and I are here too.” 

My brows furrow in confusion and I look over at Armin who gives me a knowing look of innocence. I smile and shake my head, “Thanks you guys. I appreciate it.”

All three nod and the waiter takes our food and drink orders. “So.” Armin starts, “Did any of you hear the explosion upstairs the other day?” 

“That really loud boom for a second yesterday?” I tilt my head. 

“Hanji apparently blew up something in her lab.” Mikasa deadpans, “I saw her getting dragged by the ear by Levi to his office.” 

“I’m surprised he hasn’t fired her. Marco you don’t know this but last year she caught the school on fire and we had the police and fire department here and everything.” Armin states. 

My eyes widen, “ What!?” 

Eren nudges me, “We’re pretty sure that Levi and Hanji are dating so that’s why he doesn’t fire her.”

“You think that cause you practically stalk Levi, Eren.” 

“Mikasa!” Eren snaps his head her way, “I don’t stalk! I just don’t want to get in trouble or anything.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense Eren.” Armin laughs and so do I. 

“I- Well. just shut up guys.” Eren mumbles, crossing his arms.

“So… is there other teachers dating? Other than you three and the possibility of Levi and Hanji?” 

Armin taps a finger to his chin, “Mike, the health teacher, is actually married to Nanaba, the English teacher. Um.. Oluo, the Vice Principle has a crush on the nurse, Petra.. otherwise that’s about it..” 

I shake my head, “I don’t know how you guys find all this out.” I laugh. 

We soon enough got our food and had to rush to eat cause we had to be back in time for lunch to be over and get back to teaching class. Every week after we all do this, come to Olive Garden and gossip about what’s happening at school. And getting back to class isn’t so bad. I get to watch my kids as they rehearse for the play and I try to email some parents about helping me to start off.

♬ 

I can’t sleep. Which sucks cause I have to work in the morning. I forgot how much I hated waking up at 6:30 every day. I glance over at the clock, 10 PM. I sigh and sit up from my bed, shifting Tuff from my stomach to my shoulder as she’s lazy and won’t move. I carry her with me as I move from my room to the kitchen to make myself some hot chocolate. I turn on the light and open the fridge and in an instant- everything was pitch black. 

God damnit all. That’s the third problem this month. First my water wouldn’t run then my door got stuck and now no electricity? Like hell if I was gonna let Tuff and I freeze tonight. I set her down to grab my cell phone and call my landlord. 

I lean against the wall and listen to the phone ring.. once.. twice.. it continues till I hear a beep, _“Hi, you’ve reached…”_

I wait for the voicemail to end before I start, “Hey- It’s Marco Bodt in apartment 7.. again. Uh, my electric went out. If this could be taken care of soon I would greatly appreciate it… Thank you.” 

Ending the call, I pick up Tuff and go back to my bedroom to get under the covers and prepare for a long cold night. I hold Tuff close to me, running my fingers through her fur. Her purr sounds like a truck; loud and it vibrates against my chest. Closing my eyes, I listen to her purr. It’s so noisy but at the same time soothing. I slowly drift off to sleep.. dreams taking over my mind. Not dreams.. nightmares. 

_I can’t feel my arm.. I can’t feel anything. I stare up at the sky, my vision failing. Everything is numb but I can still feel the stinging of raindrops on my face. I can barely hear what’s going on around me, everything going black. I just want to sleep…_

_“I can’t find a pulse- We’ve lost him!”_

_“Try again! Marco- stay with us…..”_


	3. Who Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco goes out to eat and gets a very unexpected visitor but the day ends on good terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Here's Marco's POV for chapter 3 and hopefully you've all read Jean's since it was posted earlier. Enjoy!

November 9th

I look at my papers and tilt my head back with a yawn. Grading papers over the weekend sucks but at least I’m free for the rest of the day. I glance over at the clock, 6:30. My stomach growls loudly, which wakes Tuff up from her sleep on my lap. I wince as she gets up to stretch, digging her claws into my skin as she jumps off.

I eventually get up from my work desk and decide to go out to eat. I’m not in the mood to cook so I grab my shoes and slip them on after grabbing my coat and red scarf and beanie hat. I pause and grab a few papers to maybe work on while waiting and stuff them in my bag before I head out.

It’s a long, cold walk to downtown Trost but I wasn’t driving- not now, not so soon. I push the thoughts of the accident out of my mind and bury my nose under the scarf as I trope down the sidewalk for 30 minutes.

I’m not sure where to eat but this one Italian restaurant looks good, and I’m not too picky so I go inside. The place is packed beyond belief. I nervously shift past people and go up to the hostess. “Um.. one please?”

She looks down at the tables list and gives me a smile, “You are very lucky we have a two person booth open. Otherwise the wait would have been over an hour. Follow me.” She hums as she grabs a menu and leads me through the restaurant.

“Thank you.” I breathe, relieved I am able to get in so quick. I follow her through the crowded place and I am seated at a small two person booth.

“There you go, someone will be right with you to get your order.”

“Thank you.” I repeat and nod to her as I sit down, taking off my scarf and beanie. Leaning back, I get out my paperwork and lay it out.

It’s not long before the waitress arrives. “What would you like to drink dear?” She hums.

I smile up to her, “Just water please.”

She smiles back at me and nods, writing it down, “Alrighty~ I’ll be back with that really quick.” She turns on her heels and disappears and returns not too much later and places the water in front of me.

I smile to myself now, rummaging through his bag to find my glasses. I didn’t put my contacts in today and straining to read anything was not desirable so glasses it is. I slip them on my nose and sigh, much better. I look through the menu options. Everything is pretty expensive but I’m so hungry I’m not complaining. I finally settle on the seafood pasta bowl.

I look over my papers again. I think over the play I have assigned everyone to put on. The Wizard of Oz. I had figured that Hamlet or Shakespeare would be too overused. The class wasn’t too thrilled but I asked them if they wanted multiple tests or one big fun assignment. They didn’t complain after that. I chuckle to myself. It’s a good experience for them. I plan on doing this, having them learn an instrument of their choice and maybe learn a dance by the end of the year.

I’m so engrossed in my thoughts that I don’t notice someone standing by my table till I hear, “Dining alone?”

I recognize the voice and flinch, my face pales before I look up. Jean Kirschstein. _Fucking Ymir- like hell I wouldn’t see him again_. I curse in my thoughts. “Yes?” I reply nervously, thoughts of our first meeting rushing through my head again. I gather up my papers and set my glasses down on top of the pile. “Uh-.. do you need something?” I ask. He probably needs something- why on earth would he encounter me in a restaurant?

Jean smiles at me, running a hand through his hair., “A seat- if you don’t care?” Personally I want to say no- he nearly gave me a heart attack once already I don’t need to go through that again. I open my mouth to say sorry but he quickly adds, “It’s packed in here and uh- sorry I should probably just go”

I hear his confidence failing fast and I almost panic. I look around, it is still really packed. He probably couldn’t get a seat. “Jean-” I start, to make sure he doesn’t leave, “I… It’s ok. You can sit here- I mean.. it’s not like I’m waiting on anyone...” I spit out an excuse.

“Thanks..” He replies, taking off his coat and scarf as he sits down across from me. I tuck my legs closer to my seat. “I had a dinner mishap so this..” I watch him gesture to the restaurant, “was really a last minute thing.”

“Oh-” I start, putting my glasses back on as words escape my mind, “Sorry to hear that.” Was I sorry? Not really but I was at a loss for words. I look through my papers to keep busy and Jean seems to have the same idea when he pays attention to his phone.

The waitress comes back to the table “Oh! Here let me get you another water- let me guess first date? Or no, you guys seem to comfortable with each other, how long have you been dating?” she laughs.

Just like last time I hate myself as I feel heat spread across my cheeks. _Why does she have to think that? Why would that be the first thing to come to her mind. Why am I getting so upset over it??_ I don’t say anything as I collect myself.

“Oh- no we are just” Jean looks up at me. “Acquaintances” he says. I feel conflicted about being called an acquaintance. I mean it’s the truth but I don’t like the sound of it.  

The waitress looks confused but recovers quickly. “We’ll I’ll be back with a water but can I get you guys anything else to drink?” she asks.

“Coffee” Jean smiles to her and she looks at me

I muster up a smile, “I’m fine with water, thank you.”

As soon as she leaves a run a hand through my hair, bringing my hand to scratch the back of my neck. It’s a nervous habit. I bite the inside of my cheek, the warmth still on my face.

“Sorry.” Jean says simply, looking up at me.

“It’s okay.” I lie, avoiding eye contact still.

“If you say so.” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. “So music teacher….why?”

“Oh- uh…” The questions catches me off guard so I lean back in my chair and think about it for a second. “I grew up loving music and theater classes in high school.. so I pursued that.. I figured.. that I could inspire kids the way I was in school..” I shrug softly, continuing, “I like to teach as well- I have a Masters in music theory, a bachelor's in theater and I minored in education to be able to teach.”

Jean lets out a low whistle “Damn thats a lot of school. I just got my degree to be- essentially an accountant. And it was a lot but fuck- sorry- your schooling sounds like it was a pain in the ass” he says.

I laugh softly cause it’s true, “six  years of it. But it wasn’t all that bad. I mean, I knew what I was getting into so it eased it some.”

The waitress arrives, bringing Jean a water and a coffee. “Ya’ll ready to order?” she asks smiling.

I look to Jean and he gestures to me to go first.

I smile to her, “I’ll have the seafood pasta please?”

Jean looks up to the waitress, “Uhh- I’ll have pasta alfredo please”. The waitress nods

‘Ill have that right out for y’all” she hums and shuffles away from the table.

“Where were we?” Jean hums. “Oh yeah... um, teaching. It has to be hard but you seem really passionate about it. Hitch thinks you're a great teacher.” He smiles and takes a sip of coffee.

I rub the back of my neck again, “The administration is really tough to please though, along with other parents. I mean.. I’m trying to make things fun and make it a good experience but you know how it is with art classes.. kids don’t take them seriously ‘cause they are only in there for the needed elective.” I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Jean shrugs his shoulder “Tell the administration to kiss your ass” he says “Thats what I did when I was in school and I was a model student” he deadpans.

I glare at him, not covering the seriousness in my voice, “I’m a teacher, I’m sure they would fire me if I said that.”

I watch Jean’s eyes widen and he straightens up in his seat “You can’t make kids do anything they don’t want to do but dude because you care you are probably so many kids relief in the day- not because its not a serious class but because they can be themselves” He pauses a moment before adding “Music class was the worst part of the day when I was at high school cause the old music teacher had a stick up his ass and hated music and kids and it felt fake. But when I got to college I took an art class and it was chill and it was such a relief because it was expressive... or whatever you guys call it.”

I smile softly, moving my glasses off my nose to rest them on my head, “That reminds me of when the hardest teachers would always tell you that they are preparing you for college and you would think if you can’t pass this class then you fail at life. But I laugh when I think back cause it was no where close to a college class. So yea… I guess mine is a relief class but I’m trying to bring as much of college back with me to these kids.” I sigh through my nose, a gentle smile plastering my face as I think back to my high school days.

“Freedom was what I felt most in my college classes” Jean says “If that helps at all”.

I glance up at him, “Freedom isn’t something I can give these guys though, not with the administration already breathing down my neck to see if I’m the best material.” I wish I could give them freedom, but I’m settling for what I can manage to get away with in the school limitations.

Jean hums. “I can’t imagine a better teacher than you from what Hitch says about you. And I mean, anyone this worried about wanting to succeed and do well is already qualified.”

I chuckle because he can really be sweet. It’s not something I expect but it’s a nice surprise, “You’re not that bad… for someone who asked me if I was single at his sisters teacher conference.” I bring up the meeting as a joke to keep the mood light. It’s probably not the best idea though.

Jean nearly chokes on his sip of  his coffee. “Hey... I meant it although I guess the place was perhaps a bit inappropriate.” he says. “You never did answer the question though” he adds, raising an eyebrow and taking a sip of his coffee.

My lips thin as I presses them together, a blush creeping back over my face. “I’m not going to answer it.” I avoid the question still, which is stupid cause he’s just asking whether I’m single or not. It’s not like he’s asking me out? He’s probably just wondering. That has to be it.

“You are cute when you blush” Jean laughs and my blush deepens at the sound of it. “But Ill answer what you must be wondering, yes I am single” he states dramatically.

The waitress comes back, placing our respective dishes in front of us. “Thank you” Jean smiles at her, and she disappears into the crowd.

“I kinda figured since you’re asking me.” I mutter, my attention turning to the plates that are set down. Thank you waitress, perfect timing.

Jean twirls some pasta onto his fork. “Well if you won’t answer that question what about, will you do to dinner with me sometime?” he asks, taking a bite of his pasta.

_Why won’t he back off?_ “Doesn't this count?” I ask, stabbing a shrimp with my fork nervously.

“Oh” Jean muses “Does this count as a date then?” he asks, taking another bite of pasta.

“No” I reply instantly, almost too instant. I bite my lip and take a bite of  the pasta. _God- yes_. It tastes fantastic. I forgot how hungry I was.

Jean smiles “okay”. He returns his attention to his food. “Whats your favorite song?” he asks a few moments later.

I pause and think. That’s probably the hardest question to ask someone who has majored in music. But I finally settle on this, “A Sky Full Of Stars by Coldplay.. fantastic song to play on the piano.”

Jean is silent for a few moments. “I’ll have to listen to it” he says. “I listen to a lot of music, usually nothing with lyrics but just listening to instruments is good for crunching numbers.... keeps me focused.”

“So you said you’re an accountant right… why?” I bring up the same question he asked me about teaching. I can’t see him as an accountant for some reason, so I watch him curiously.

“I'm good at numbers, I get paid a lot and that mean I can take care of Hitch. Especially her college and stuff.” he says. “Its just something that fell in my lap really so I ran with it.”

I give a small “oh..” before taking another bite of food. He really does care about Hitch a lot, almost like a parent. So then where are their parents in all of this? “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you show up at the conference and not your parents?”

“Because my parents have interests that have expanded beyond being parents, so instead of forcing Hitch to spend more time than she wants with them I just try and be there for her. She really wants to go to the college that’s here but she doesn't want to live with our parents but they would make her if shes so close so I moved here so she could live with me.... I figured I could be here for her since I haven't always and so the PTA meeting was just a thing that happened” Jean says like its the simplest solution ever.

_That wasn't the answer I was exactly looking for._ I blink a few times. I thought Jean would go into more depth about what’s wrong with his parents but instead I get this. I laugh softly on accident because his simplest solution is actually the most caring thing I ever heard from a sibling, “I’m sorry- I wasn't expecting that. But- that’s really nice of you to do that for her.”

“What were you expecting?” Jean grimaces. “Listen they are shitty parents but they aren't the worst they just don’t really care. They call Hitch an accident, hell I think that after the first couple years I was a mistake so...” he trails off “But yeah, so I hope that you are ready to see a lot of me because I’m gonna be at all the parent shit the school drag us into.” he says.

I stiffen at the new response, I don’t want him mad at me. But what he says sinks in and my eyebrows furrow together, now I’m mad. Mad at the fact that they- that Jean.. believed they were mistakes. They aren't-  “You guys aren't accidents. You both are making something of yourselves that your parents probably never expected and you know what, that’s perfect.” I finally let my thoughts out, poking at my food, but I can’t seem to stop talking fast enough. “I’m looking forward to it.”  I freeze cause I can’t believe what I just said.

“Looking forward to it?” Jean says questioningly.

I huff, trying to think of how to fix my mistake, “Yes. Because you are there for Hitch and she a priority of mine as a student.” I spill out.

“So you are looking forward to seeing me” Jean says, winking.

“Drop it.” I almost hiss as I point my fork at him.

“One day” Jean says in a sing song voice. “But seriously Marco, thank you. I’m glad Hitch has someone at school who’s such a great person.”

I give a small nod in return right before the waitress drops the two checks off at the table.

Jean slips his credit card inside the check and waits for the the waitress to come back and pick them back up. “Well this was... fun?”

I silently get out cash to pay with and tip cause I wasn’t going to wait here much longer, “Considering you jacked my table, I guess it was.” I smile, throwing in some sarcasm.

“Hey maybe it was... cosmic. I tripped and spilled my dinner all over myself at home and then all a sudden I was at this restaurant and you were here...” Jean muses jokingly. The waitress comes back and grabs our checks with a smile.

I stand to gather my things, slipping on my coat, not wasting any time since I wasn’t expecting any change back, “Probably not” I laugh, tucking the papers in a folder, “I guess I’ll see you soon? If Hitch told you about the play we are putting on.”

“I’ll be sure to be there.” Jean says with a smile. “And uh if you ever need any help with the show or selling cookies or whatever I’m good for it” he laughs. “Seriously, I’m good at baking”

I smile and nod, “I’ll keep that in mind. And Jean?” I say his name to get his attention, thinking back to what Armin told me.

Jean turns to look at me, our eyes locking, “hmmm?” he says furrowing his brow.

“I would like to start out as friends- if anything.” I shrug softly, looking to the ground to break eye contact.

He laughs “That sounds good” Jean runs a hand through his hair before adding “...bro”.

I bring a hand up to my mouth to muffle a laugh, “How about not that.” I smile, “See you Jean.” I hum before turning to walk past him toward the exit, catching his wave of goodbye out of the corner of my eye.

Once outside, I sigh, the cold air turning my breath into a cloud by my mouth. I smile to myself as I start towards home. _I’ll get to see him again._ I think to myself. _I think I can make a friendship work_. I was sure that after this, I could get along with him better, since hopefully that pushed any ideas of maybe dating me to the back of his head.

“Haaaa” I chuckle. Armin was right. I can do this. I shouldn't have to worry over this. And today I added on a new friend. Things were looking better for me and it was so relieving.


	4. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco gets to have fun at a staff meeting and starts to spy Jean in the pick up line at the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly getting around with these two, don't worry they will be interacting a lot more in the next chapter . Jean's POV will be up later tonight/tomorrow. Enjoy everyone  
> -PencilOnly

November 11th

I drag through my schedule Monday and Tuesday rolls around and I nearly forget I have a staff meeting. Eren actually pops his head in my room as soon as my students leave. “Marco, comeon. You didn’t forget did you?”

I shake my head no and get up, “I almost did. Just a sec.” I lean down to grab a folder from my bag and trail after him as we head down to the teachers lounge. “So.. what exactly do I need to expect?”

“Hm?” Eren looks at me, “Oh- we usually just talk about school goals and accomplishments and they evaluate how well we’ve been doing. No pressure.”

I glance to my feet, _No pressure_. Not that it was gonna help.

We take a seat around the table and Levi, the principle, stands at the head of the table. I’m situated between Eld, the history teacher and Hanji. Levi brings a hand up to his mouth to clear his throat and get our attention- but I mean who wouldn’t pay attention to this man who is like half my size? He’s short and terrifying.

“Okay,” Levi starts, “First off we got everything taken care of after Hanji blew up her lab.” He sends a glare her way but she just smiles, creepily I might add and her glasses blocking her eyes doesn’t help.

“Second, just a reminder that Marco is having his students do a play this Saturday, and they are your students too. I expect everyone to be a good role model and show up.” I swear he nearly growls the last part as a warning. No mention of helping me though. Just show up. Thanks for the support.

“Third, we are putting more teachers out to help make sure kids go to their correct cars or buses. So Marco.” I look up, “You’re on dismissal duty with Eld for the rest of the week.”

I give a nod, chewing at the inside of my lip cause this feels like a punishment or something. Eld pats my back and gives me a smile, “It’s not bad. You just gotta stand outside.”

“Fourth and most important, our school and you guys are going to be under review starting tomorrow by the Trost education board.” He narrows his eyes and glances around at everyone, “So you know that this means _no screw ups_. We all know what happened last year after the _previous music_ teacher didn’t cooperate.”

I gulp. Armin told me this. The last music teacher for some reason went crazy during an interview and Levi did not hesitate for fire him. _No pressure. None at all. More like the pressure of the freaking sea on my shoulders, I can’t lose this job-_

Levi talks for a while after that but honestly I was zoning in and out for at least 20 minutes. Probably will ask Armin later for a recap.. I just have too much on my mind. First the fact that Levi has threatened me indirectly that my job is on the line. The electricity at my apartment keeps going off. I don’t know why I stay there but it’s easy to pay for.. I’ve pretty much stopped calling my landlord and get someone to fix the problem myself. Which in the end is not so easy to pay for. I should probably start looking for a new place in the summer, I just need to get through the school year.

Another thing on my mind is Jean. Not the frazzling stuff from the past few days but I’m looking forward to see him again. It’s so sweet how he looks after Hitch and cares for her well being and future. I still can’t get his laugh out of my head, or the way his eyes shine gold when he’s happy.. or even-

“Marco-”

I flinch and snap out of dreamland. Armin has his hand on my shoulder, laughing softly from my jump. “Go home and get some sleep Marco.”

I run a hand through my hair and to the back of my neck, embarrassed. “Kay Armin.”

He pats my shoulder before leaving and I follow suit after him to my classroom. I quickly grab my stuff and head out into the cold. It actually wasn’t that cold but it’s slowly getting worse as the month will soon roll into December. I should invest in a new pair of boots for walking in the snow.

I’m home after 15 minutes of hiking up the street. Unlocking the door, I open it to be greeted by Tuff. I smile softly as she meows at me. “Tuff sweet baby.” I hum, bending over to scoop her up in my arms and bury my face in her fur.

I swear she is the most beautiful thing I will ever see. My mom told me she’s a Balinese- a long haired Siamese cat. So she has these big blue eyes and the prettiest coat- brown on her face, ears and feet and a wonderful white on her body. However she is not petite or princess like at all. God is she heavy- and she does not hold back on her claws or biting me when she feels like it.

Like right now- I wince as she sinks her teeth into my hand, rewarding me with another _battle scar._ “Tuff-” I scold her playfully as I close the door behind me and carry her to my bedroom. I set her down on the bed and boop my nose against hers before she can back away.

I toss my bag over to my desk and start stripping down as I walk to the bathroom. I simply want a bath cause my arm is sore. I get down to my boxer briefs right before I start the water, turning the temperature all the way to hot. Tuff follows me in, hopping up onto my lap as I’m sitting on the edge of the tub.

“Don’t I get some peace and quiet?” I ask her.

She meows at me, in her forceful ‘no’ manner.

I laugh and run my fingers through her fur, earning a purr from her.

“You’ll always be here for me, right?”

Tuff leans into my fingers when I scratch under her neck.

“And I’ll always be here for you.” I hum softly.

When the tub is about halfway full I get rid of my underwear and step in, sitting down and sinking into the water when I lay back. “Oh god..” I breath from the stinging heat.  I shift, submerging my right arm under the water to my shoulder.

I hear a soft meow and Tuff hops up on the edge of the tub, taking her usual spot near my head. I glance up to watch her as she licks her paw to rub it through her fur. “You decided to take a bath too?” I chuckle.

I can hear a muffled purr as she licks her paw again. I extend my leg to shut the faucet off with my foot once the tub is full. Sighing, I sink back till the water is right under my nose. I still hear the loud truck purr vibrate through the water.

Tuff is my best friend and support. My therapy animal, but mostly my little guardian angel. I close my eyes and remember the first day I saw her.

♬

_I hear the soft beep of a heart monitor, corresponding with the thumps in my chest. I fight opening my eyes cause the light hurts, but when I finally do- everything is white. White room, white covers, white EVERYTHING. I don’t know where I am or what’s going on till I look down at myself. Hospital robe- bandages- is that a cast?_

_“He’s awake!”_

_I flinch and look up to see my mom rush back into the room I’m in. My dad and brother trail in after her along with 2 doctors and about 3 nurses. Suddenly I’m being manhandled- which is freaking uncomfortable. The doctors are checking everything out but I can only stare at my mom with wide eyes._

_“Mom..” I breath, swallowing hard. “What.. what happened?”_

_“You-” She can’t hold back her tears as she takes my left hand between hers. “You got in an accident, Marco sweetheart.” She informs me, trying to break the news as gently as possible._

_I don’t say anything. I don’t know WHAT to say. The only sound in my ears is my heart racing- along side the monitor noises. Everything, every single painful agonizing moment flashes before my eyes and all I do is start crying. Not even loud gross sobbing. Just big fat tears just roll down my face in realization._

_I force the words past my throat, “Am I going to be ok?”_

_My mom nods a simple yes to me. But I can’t stop asking questions- I should stop, I want to stop. I don’t want to know the damage done but I can’t shut myself up._

_“Am I going to finish school? How long to I have to stay here- Will I still be able to play piano Mom?”_

_She doesn’t answer me. She just looks away. Is that a no? Does she even know?_

_“Mom- what happened to me-?” I choke, my voice wavering._

_“Marco.. sweetheart..” She squeezes my hand in silence._

_I shake my head. No no no no no no no. This can’t be happening. My mind starts to reel and not even my mom’s words can make it stop. Then suddenly it halts. My eyes follow the mew I just heard. I hear a cat- I’m not crazy right?_

_Bundled up in my father’s arms was a ball of fur. My mom looks over her shoulder, “Marco- we got something for you.”_

_I am handed a kitten. A tiny little thing that’s just old enough to be away from it’s mom. It- She stares up at me with these big bright shining blue eyes that I can drown in. She meows at me, still staring like I’m the most fascinating thing in the world. I bet I am honestly. Being hooked up to every machine imaginable._

_I stare back at her, my face stained from tears and exhausted from stress. I bring my left hand over and rub my fingers across her little cheeks gently, and she eagerly leans into my touch. A loud purr emits from her- like I swear this kind of noise should not come from a tiny little kitten._

_I smile at her, tears welling back up in my eyes. “Tuff..” I murmur as I spy the little tuft of fur at her chest that is sticking out like a mass of bedhead. In that instant all I could focus on was that little life on my chest. Nothing else mattered- not the doctors, not my family, not the machines, not the pain, not the memories. She was my little angel heaven sent._

♬

“You still are my heaven sent baby, aren’t you?” I sit up and coo at her, tilting my head to rest against her. She meows, probably in protest to me calling her a baby.

“Right, right. Not a baby anymore. You’re.. what? Two…? Or is it three? Let’s see here.. started college at 19..” I count on my fingers, “One.. two…. during my masters degree right?” I look over at her. “So two. You’re two years old.” More like my accident was two years ago but I like to think of it as Tuff’s birthday- gotta keep my mind on the positive side of things.

She purrs in response and her rough tongue rolls over my hair. “Tuff- No- don’t groom me.” I whine at her but she ignores me and continues. So I cross my arms and pout, waiting for her to finish.

It’s about two minutes later before she’s bored of me and hops off the tub and retreats back to my bedroom. I roll my eyes and pull the drain plug before getting out and grabbing a towel to dry off before wrapping it around my waist. I scratch the back of my neck as I head back to my room and changing into a fresh pair of underwear before flopping onto my bed. I glance over- it’s too early to sleep.. maybe I’ll just nap? Maybe I should at least put some pj pants on? I shift to move but it’s too late. I feel Tuff’s paws on my back as she walks on me, curling up to sleep on the small of my back. _Well then… I guess I have to stay put_. I smile to myself and close my eyes, following suit with Tuff and falling to sleep.

♬

I’m on dismissal duty like Levi told me to. Honestly it’s not bad- Eld was right, you just have to stand there. Eld is over watching the kids get on the buses while I get to oversee the car riders.

I spot Hitch- she’s not that hard to pick out with her short hair and bright red backpack. My line of sight follows her to the car she’s heading toward. Who’s in the front seat? Jean.

I smile to myself and watch him as Hitch gets in the car. He grins and ruffles her hair. I think he looks in my direction but I can’t tell.. but unconsciously I blush softly- the tips of my ears getting red.

♬

November 14th

It’s Friday. Last day before the sweet freedom of the weekend and last day of dismissal duty. For three whole days I unconsciously looked for Jean- like right now. I know his car anywhere. I look away for a few minutes to resolve something and when I look back- his car is gone.

“Hey man.”

I flinch and turn to see that Jean has magically appeared, “Oh-” I give a small smile and a nod, “Hey.”

“I can’t believe you have to stand out here” Jean says, looking up to the sky and grimacing at the snow falling slowly from the sky, “but at least its not raining” he says shrugging and pulling his beanie down lower on his head and side sweeping the front of his hair so it lays to the side rather than matting against his forehead.

I watch him fix his hair with a small blush, “Yea. It got sprung on me at a teacher’s meeting on Tuesday.” I laugh softly cause I have a beanie almost like his. “Well, it’s good to be cold so it doesn’t rain.” I give my shoulders a small shrug.

I hear Jean hum softly. “So~ how have you been?”

Me? How have I been? Well let’s see here he nearly gave me a heart attack twice but hey he doesn’t need to know that much. “Been better?” I answer honestly, glancing to the ground.  “I rent a crappy apartment so.. problems tend to happen often.”

“I’m guessing your landlords a shithead” Jean grimaces.

“Doesn’t answer his phone half the time.” I shoot Jean a knowing look.

Jean makes a face of shared pain, “I’m sorry” he says  looking concerned but conflicted, which amuses me. Cause looking concerned yet conflicted makes an interesting face.

I give another shoulder shrug and smile, “Its ok. It’s a roof over my head.”

“Well if you ever need to get away, I’m basically always at my house”

I laugh at his offer, “ “Its ok, school keeps me busy so it’s basically my getaway place.”

Jean laughs as well and shakes his head “You are sort of a dork Bodt... sort of  a dork” he says with a hint of amusement in his voice.

I smile, the urge to say I’m lame comes up because my brother always called me lame so I prefer to use it. But instead I roll my eyes with a smile, “Do you need me to go find Hitch?”

“Naw I’m sure she’s just taking her sweet time” Jean says “But I’m texting her so hopefully she’ll be out soon” he adds glancing at his phone.

I watch him with a soft smile plastered on my face, “Don't know why you’re standing out here when you could be in your warm car.”

“Because you’re out here” He laughs and rolls his eyes. His laugh again- I swear to god I’ll never get used to hearing it.

“Ive been out here for three days, nothing special.” I roll my eyes in retaliation.

“Just thought company would be nice” he shrugs. “You know, cause you said you wanted to be friends.”

That’s right- I do want to be friends. His statement makes me smile, warming my cheeks.

“Yea, but I’m sure Hitch would like to get home and honestly- so would I.” I hum softly.

Jean opens his mouth to say something but jerks forward when Hitch runs into his back, hugging him from behind. I take a step back to avoid a collision.

“Hey horse face” She greets and I blink, raising my eyebrow at the nickname.

“You are an evil brat” Jean says shaking his head but smiling at me with a hint of _this is what I have to deal with._

I chuckle, “Have a good day you two. See you tomorrow Hitch?” I hum, crossing my arms to watch them.

“I guess so” she says, unwrapping her arms from Jean and pulling on her own hat. “Unless we get a snow day” she adds with a smile.

Jean just laughs at Hitch, “Come on lets let _Mr. Bodt_ go home” he says pulling on the back of her collar.

I know she’s been enjoying this more than she lets other people know. But I still give her my usual warning, “Okay Hitch. You just keep wishing for that snow day and maybe I’ll just make up a test for Monday instead.” I smile as a goodbye to Jean before turning to head back inside to grab my things. I hear Jean laugh behind me. This has been a good Friday so far.


	5. Halo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco asks Jean to help him make treats for the play cause no one wants to help him out. So they cook at Jean's messy unpacked house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving along now. Thanks so much to everyone who has read this, it means a lot to me and theunbloggable. Jean's chapter will be posted either tonight or tomorrow. Enjoy!  
> -PencilOny

 

When I get home- it suddenly hit me. The play is _tomorrow_. I quickly check my emails to see if I got any confirmation from the parents. One. One single parent emailed me back and said they’ll _maybe_ bring some sugar cookies. Really? I like sugar cookies and all but no one really wants to buy sugar cookies.

I get up from my desk and pace around my room, Tuff watching me from my bed with a look of _what the hell are you doing._

I stop and take a deep breath. Okay. No big deal. I can make some baked goods tonight.. in my.. tiny crappy apartment kitchen. Something at the edge of my bed catches my eye and I lean over to grab it. _Jean’s business card_ \- Full of holes from what I guess was Tuff chewing at it. I grab my phone. He did say if I needed any help.. and I just saw him earlier..

I squint at the card, of course some holes are blocking off some of the numbers. I type in my phone what I _think_ is Jean’s number.

_\- Is this Jean?-_

I watch my phone, half panicking about this whole show ordeal and half worried I’m texting the wrong number. My phone dings at a new message.

**_-depends on who’s asking-_ **

I roll my eyes and type back, trying to be funny.

_-depends on who you give your card to and promise baked goods-_

I sit down on my bed, holding my phone in my hand. Tuff meows and tries to bite at the hand that’s holding the device.

“Ouch- Tuff-! I’m doing something important!” In the commotion of arguing with my cat I almost didn’t hear the reply.

**_-lol yes this is the Jean you are looking for-_ **

I sigh in relief and save Jean’s number in my phone.

_-I’m taking your offer on the baked goods… If that’s ok?? The play is tomorrow and I only have help from one parent and I can only do so much baking by myself…-_

**_-how do brownies sound?-_ **

_-sounds perfect. Thank you.-_

**_-Want to come over for baking? Like friends do?-_ **

I raise an eyebrow at the offer.

_-Sounds sketchy-_

**_-Calm down I invited you to bake not to get baked lol-_ **

Get baked…? I don’t understand. I look over at Tuff, “You don’t get it either, do you?”

_-Wait what?-_

**_-.....like get stoned. Nevermind! thats not the point… haha.. double the hands means double the baking. Think of the children.-_ **

Of course I wouldn’t know any terms for getting high. And knowing that doesn’t exactly ease my mind about him. I huff, cause he does make a good point. Think of the children… he’s learning fast how to convince me.

_-fine. Only cause you make a fair point.-_

**_-sure sure.. want to meet at the whole foods downtown? I have nothing in my house currently.-_ **

_-Alright-_

_**-meet in 30?-** _

_-45ish? It’s kinda a long walk-_

**_-Want me to just pick you up?-_ **

My answer is so instant it isn’t even funny as my fingers pressed the keys for one simple word.

_-No.-_

**_-mmkay.. stay warm lol. see you in the baking aisle.-_ **

I don’t reply back cause I have already started getting ready. I feed Tuff now in case I’m late getting back and I don’t want to get mauled by her if she’s starving. I shrug on my jacket and pull my red beanie over my ears before wrapping the matching scarf around my neck. I grab my wallet and phone before slipping on my shoes and heading out.

It’s gotten darker earlier and it’s gotten so cold out too. I shiver and pull the scarf over my nose as I make a trip across town to the market.

♬

I make good time getting there- 40 minutes. I step inside the store, welcoming the warm air even though I don’t move my scarf from it’s place over my nose and I can feel my cheeks burning from the bitter wind. I pass a few aisles, looking up at the signs till I hit the one that says baking. Turning down it, I spot Jean waiting for me. He sees me and nods with a slight smile.

“Hey man.”

“Hey.” I breath, pulling down my scarf and rubbing at my cheeks with my palms to warm them up. In reality I’m also calming myself down cause I really wanted to see him again.

“Cold?” Jean says laughing and unwinding his scarf.

“A little.” I shrug softly. A little? More like I’m freezing my butt off. “So- what all do we need to get?”

“mmm, just about everything” he laughs “I haven’t bought any groceries for my house except for water, beer and pasta. Also we have the possibility of making cookies since we have more hands.”

“.....” I raise an eyebrow cause how can you live off of water, beer, and pasta. I mean it’s doable bit.. still. “Well do you at least have a list?” I ask, hoping he does. “And I’m pretty good at rice krispy treats.” I add in.

Jean hums and grins, his smile warming my face up quicker. “yup” and hands me his phone which has a list pulled up in notes. “I haven’t made rice krispies since Hitch’s 6th birthday.”

I take his phone in my hands and look over it, sending the list to myself befoe giving Jean’s phone back. “I make them far too often.” I smile, “Rehearsals and such. How about you grab the baking stuff and I’ll grab everything else?

“Got it, divide and conquer” Jean says, already turned to look at what flours were available.

I nod and disappear down the aisles, grabbing the things on Jean’s list. All were basic; eggs, milk, butter, some snacks. I attempt to get healthy things and hopefully he won’t notice later. I head over to the cereal aisle and find Jean there when I’m done. We both pause to look up at the large selection of cereals.

“Are we going with classic or crazy?” He asks.

“I was thinking crazy” I hum, scanning the wall.

“Alright I can dig it” Jean says “lets get wild” he adds jokingly with a wink and picking a box of fruity pebbles off the wall.

I roll my eyes with a smile and nudges my elbow into Jean’s arm before grabbing a box of lucky charms. That wink of his- that and his laugh are the two things that will be the death of me- maybe his smile too.

“You think two boxes is enough or do those frosted flakes look like they need to die a violent marshmallow-y death?” Jean asks.

“Grab them as well.” I bite my lip to hold in a laugh and snarky comment like ‘they especially need to die’ or ‘grab the third prisoner’. Which honestly aren’t that great comebacks- so exactly why I keep my mouth shut.

Jean laughs and grabs the box, “Let’s go checkout.” He hums, heading to the self checkout lane.

I nod and follow him, trying to think of how much everything costs.  “I’ll reimburse you after the show.”

“No need man” Jean say brushing the comment off and beginning to scan items. “Any other parent would buy groceries to make shit for the bake sale. So you won’t.”

“Well no other parents did so-..” I trail off in my words, kinda hurt that I’m practically going in this show organizing it solo. Actually, I’m _really_ hurt. Which is why I’m so thankful Jean is helping me cause god knows who else would.

“Well I’m just cooler than most people” Jean says jokingly.

I roll my eyes and smile, “I would use the word caring rather than cooler.”

“Only you could insult someone and actually say something nicer at the same time” Jean says with a chuckle. He scans the last item and pays for the groceries.

I  grab as many bags as I can carry- which is about all of them. “I wasn’t trying to insult you.” I say  softly, truthfully, as he grabs the rest and we head out to his car.

“Whatever you say” Jean says amused, unlocking his car and putting the bags in the backseat and I do the same.  “Its about a ten minute drive” He states.

I take a hesitant step back, “...I’ll just walk?” _It’s ok you can do this_ I try and reassure myself. _Noo you can’t_. Something in the back of my head hums at me.

Jean looks over at me, “Come on it’s dark out, it’ll probably be a twenty five minute walk anyways.” He shrugs, probably not caring about me walking anyways.

I don’t know what to say, I’m so nervous but I can’t tell him. “I don’t want to be a bother.” I spit out. What kind of excuse is that? I’m already bothering him with baking.

“Hey! It’s not a bother. I like hanging out with you. Will you please get in the car” Jean pleads with me.

I bite my lip and nod an ok. I break down inside at the thought that I’m doing this but.. it’s only 10 minutes. _Trust Jean_. I tell myself.  “....ok. Sure.” I open the passenger’s door to get in and Jean leans over in the drivers seat to toss a Dairy Queen bag to the back.

“Sorry, Hitch apparently doesn’t know what a trash can is.”

I laugh softly cause I get where he is coming from with this, “It’s ok. My little brother doesn’t know what one is either.

“How old are your siblings?” Jean asks as he pulls out of the parking lot. I lace my fingers together and focus on staring at my lap.

“Uh- my little brother is 17.”

He laughs, “So you have firsthand experience with how much teenagers suck.”

I end up laughing a little as well, “Oh yea,” I bring my eyes up to glance at him, “But I mean we were teenagers not too long ago.” I wonder what Jean was like as a teenager? Probably no one I would hang around considering his text to me earlier. I hum to myself cause it’s still a nice thought.

“Ugh-” He groans, “Don’t remind me.”

I chuckle and go back to staring at my lap, keeping my eyes off the road. I quickly find that if I block out what’s going on, I’ll be ok.

“So how long have you lived in Trost?” He asks, keeping the conversation going. Which thank god he does because that helps me a lot as well.

“A couple of months? I moved here in June from Jinae.”

“I just moved here like three weeks ago. I’ll warn you my house is still in boxed.”

I bring a hand up to muffle my laugh, “Warning noted… Did you grow up here then?” I ask curiously, wanting to know more about him.

“Yeah,” Jean starts, “Well- we lived in France for a few years but moved back when Hitch was born.”

My eyes widen. France?? I’m kinda jealous- I’ve never been out of the country. “Wow..” I take a breath, “Was it nice?”

“It was my life for eight years.” He simply shrugs as he pulls into the driveway. I look around, relieved to be here- at least him talking kept my mind sane. But what does not keep me sane is when Jean unbuckles his seatbelt and leans across the center console and _me_ to get the passenger door open. I automatically tense up, my ears reddening. “Sorry. Hitch broke the door the other day fucking with the lock.” He states as he leans back.

“How did she manage that?” I ask when I manage to get my heart out of my throat. I get out of the car and open the back door to grab the bags, putting them on my arms.

“Teenage girl voodoo powers and spite.” Jean says, rolling his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair before following suit and getting the rest of the bags.

I simply roll my eyes, giving him a little smirk, “Well that’s a completely rational answer.”

He winks at me and I feel my heart stop for a second before brushing it off and following him inside. “Welcome to Mi Casa.” He hums.

I close the front door behind me and turn to see sooo many boxes- too many boxes. “... wow-” I stare in disbelief, “You really should start putting stuff away.” I mean seriously, he should. Even the couch is still wrapped up-

“Probably” Jean shrugs as he heads towards the kitchen and I follow him, weaving through the box maze. “I work from home so it’s hard to separate when clients harass me and when I can unpack boxes.”

He sets the groceries on the counter and starts to unpack them, I do the same. In the mean time I’m slowly taking in my surroundings- Jean’s house, Jean’s kitchen..

“Hitch told me I should get a cat because a cat would love all the boxes.” He glances over at me but my thoughts shift over to Tuff.

“I think Tuff would be in heaven,” I laugh at the thought of her hiding in them. Then she would probably hide there and attack my legs when I would pass by- like a fortress of boxes. She would be the queen.

“Tuff?” Jean asks, trailing off in the question.

My ears redden as I realize that me fawning over my cat may sound dumb and I glance to the ground, “Oh- um… she’s my cat.”

I look up to see Jean smile, “That’s cute.” _The fact the I have a cat or my cat in general?_

He steps to open his fridge and take out a can of beer, cracking it open and taking a sip. “Want something to drink?”

My nose scrunches at the beer- you gotta have a taste for it and I certainly do not. Beer and coffee are the two things I hate to drink the most. “No thanks.” I try and hide the displeasure in my voice.

“I have water, juice, soda, and Hitch’s energy drinks.” He laughs as he messes with his phone- suddenly there is music in the house? I’m guessing he has speakers set up somewhere.

I smile softly at his repeated offer, “I’m fine for now."

“Well then get those motherfuckers done~” Jean laughs again and points to the bags of marshmallows on the countertop.

I chuckle and Jean helps me find some bowls and pans to mixs stuff in. I start to melt the marshmallows and butter in the microwave. It may seem like an out of the way process but it’s how I learned and it’s the best way I can make them.

“Microwave?” Jean questions as he’s mixing his dry ingredients. “Very college of you.”

I roll my eyes at him, “I have using the microwave down to a science so don’t complain.”

Jean holds up his hands in surrender before adding eggs to his bowl. There is a few long awkward moments- we both don’t say anything until Jean clears his throat.

“Hey.. so..” He trails off and I look up to see his hand run through his hair and scratch at the back of his neck. “I wanted to apologize.”

I don’t say anything right away- I know he’s apologizing for our first meeting. I smile softly, “Apology accepted.” I reply, not elaborating on the subject matter. Part of me wants to though-

I see a small blush cross over his cheeks before he turns back to finish mixing his brownie batter. I, on the other hand, focus on mixing the gooey melted marshmallow with the cereals and getting them pressed into the pan. Eventually I notice Jean standing behind me.

“You all good or would you like some assistance?”

“I think I got it.” I hum as I work the last pan of warm rice krispy treats.

I flinch when he steps closer and reaches around me to grab some of the mixture. I turn to look at him at the most god awful time- he pops it into his mouth and moans. “Fuckkkk this is amazing.” The sound hits my ears and my face heats up as he walks over to the sink to start on dishes. _What the hell was that-_

I laugh- to cover up my unease. “Told you I was great at this.”

“Hey, I didn’t know if your tastes were to be trusted.” He grins at me, flicking dish water at me. Which of course got me right in the face. I scrunch up my nose and wipe the water off with my sleeve.

“That goes for your brownies too.” I pout.

Jean rolls his eyes and finishes up the last few dishes, “What do you want to do till the brownies come out?”

I shrug my shoulders, “I dunno. It’s your house.”

“I have a pool table in the basement.” He imitates my shrug.

“..Eh… I guess we can?” I mumble, pool doesn’t sound fun. No offense to people who do but- I don’t like pool at all.

“Don’t sound so enthused.” He laughs, “Come on. Let’s go rip the plastic off my couch.” He hums, heading for the living room.

“I’m just not a big fan of pool.” I say, looking around the living room, “I still can’t believe you haven’t done anything in here yet.”

“I have no time!” Jean huffs, “The only thing I have unpacked is my bedroom and my office.’ He adds before taking a box cutter off the fireplace and starting to cut the plastic off. “Hitch is gonna be so proud of me.” He says with a laugh.

I roll my eyes and peel the cut plastic off, “Suure. If I didn’t ask you to bake, what would have you been doing?”

“Probably finishing crunching the numbers for some of my Chinese accounts.” He pauses to look at his watch. “It’s 8pm here which means it’s 8am there, so the work day has started.” He says before ripping the final piece of plastic off triumphantly.

My brows furrow and suddenly I feel bad., “You could have told me no if you had to work.”

“I don’t need to work.” He hums, “That’s the point of working for yourself.” He adds, sitting back on the couch.

I take a seat on the arm of the couch, “That just sounds really lazy tho.” I smile then hear a scoff from his direction before a pillow hits my head. I grunt, taking it in my hands before it falls to the ground. How mature. I throw a raised eyebrow his way.

He laughs at me, “So what’s the show tomorrow? Hitch didn’t tell me what it’s about just that it’s a ‘thing’”.

I lean forward, my elbows resting on my knees, “Instead of giving lots of tests, I’m making them put on a play; The Wizard of Oz.” I smile.

“How’s that going?” Jean asks, raising an eyebrow before sipping his beer.

“Good so far. We’ve been practicing for a while so they are getting the hang of it. I’m not expecting it to be perfect- I just want them to have fun.”

“Follow the yellow brick road~” Jean hums out.

I smile softly cause he doesn’t have a bad voice. Maybe I’ll have to see how he sings one day? “I think for the next assignment I want them to learn an instrument of their choice.”

Jean looks over at me, “That’s an intense assignment. But it actually sounds like it would be useful.”

“I rather be giving at least two big projects and some tiny ones? Kinda like college?” I shrug my shoulders. “It’s ok if they don’t learn it completely, I just want them to try and be proud of themselves.”

“I wish I had a teacher like you,” Jean says honestly, “like I fucking hated music because my teacher made us play hot crossed buns more than I could count.”

“Hot crossed buns??” I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

Jean hums a tune and grimaces, “Fucking worst song ever made.”

I laugh cause it does sound awful. I think back to him saying he wished he had a teacher like me. Nah.. I wouldn’t like to have him as a student.. and the only reason why is because I wouldn’t be able to talk with him like this.

“Do the world a favor and be the teacher that stops teaching it- that and the fucking recorder.” He says as he shakes his head, running his hands through his hair. I smile to myself, cause I caught on that he’s said fucking three times in the last 5 minutes.

“Wasn’t planning on either. Even I hate the recorder.” I admit honestly. The recorder wasn’t _that_ bad but I sure as hell don’t want to go through it again.

“Thank the lord Marco, you are a saint.” He laughs and looks me up and down, “No. A fucking freckled Jesus.”

I blush, from Jean looking at me and the fact that I’m self conscious about my freckles. I got teased so much cause of them- honestly I would rather people not mention it. “Yea yea. I know. I’m _covered_ in them.” I close my eyes. I am covered. Head to toe- literally.

I open one eye to see Jean get up and stretch, my eye catches his stomach as the shirt raises. “I-I’m gonna check on the brownies.” He mutters, heading to the kitchen.

I rub the back of my neck nervously, “okay.”

After a few moments, Jean calls out from the other room. “Sure I can’t get you anything to drink?”

I give in and call out, “I’ll have a water.”

Humming, I scratch the back of my neck when Jean heads back in. Suddenly everything is slow motion when I watch him trip over a box- the glass in his hand goes flying and shatters on the floor. I flinch from the noise, my eyes widening as this catastrophe unfolds before me. “FUCK! God fucking dammit all to motherfucking hell!” Jean shouts and curses. Holy- that’s a lot of cursing from one man’s mouth in 5 seconds.

I am silent for a moment before I can’t control myself. “....Pfft..” I bite my lip and laugh, “This is why you should unpack.”

“Thank you Marco.” He groans, looking at the mess in defeat from the floor, “Very helpful.” He looks up to me as I’m trying to calm down but he ends up breaking into a hysterical laugh with me.

I compose myself after a few minutes and slip off the arm of the couch to go fetch the broom I spied in the kitchen earlier. Jean is up off the floor when I come back. “I’ll get it.” He says, taking the broom out of my hands. “You can grab yourself a bottle of water from the fridge.”

I nod and smile, retreating back to the kitchen to open the fridge. I grab a bottle of water and pause. “.........Why didn’t you just get me a bottle of water in the first place?” I call as I come back with it in hand.

“Because I thought a glass would be nicer…. Last time I try and be fucking hospitable.” He laughs.

“Maybe having your house clean first would be more hospitable.” I tease, smiling at him.

He just groans, “Just go sit down Marco and stop looking at my boxes.” He says as he disappears to go dump the glass shards.

I laugh and retake my spot when he comes back in, “I’ll ask Hitch once every week if you cleaned your house yet.” Until he gets the house clean- I’ll probably never let him live this down.

Jean rolls his eyes, “Fine. But if I clean then you have to come to my ‘house warming’ party.” He chuckles, moving to open a box to see what’s inside. “Books. If I knew where the bookshelves are.” He sighs.

“Deal.” I hum, leaning forward, “And how can you lose your bookshelves?”

“They aren’t assembled and they look like every other box!” He grumbles, looking at me. “I think they were maybe put in the basement.” He shrugs, making a face.

I chuckle, “Maybe you should label your boxes next time?” I offer as suggestion.

“Oh fuck no! I’m never moving again!” He leans back on his hands.

“Just food for thought~.” I hum.

Jean smiles up at me and sits back up to look through the box, picking out a few books and placing them on the floor. I close my eyes, the bottle held firm in my hands. I’m getting tired, but this hangout is peaceful.

“Tired?” Jean asks, glancing up at me.

“A little.” I open my eyes, “How much longer on the brownies?” Not that I really care or want to know- but I still asked on impulse.

“120 seconds.” Jean murmurs before picking up a leather bound book and looking over it before getting up and carrying it with him to the kitchen.

I give a soft nod and get up to follow him. Jean puts the book down on the counter and leans down to open the oven. He does something but I can’t tell what cause I’m leaning against the far counter, my head tilted to stare at the way his back bends over and how his ass looks- “These are done” Jean hums, snapping me out of my thoughts as he grabs the pot holders and taking the three pans out to set them on the stove burners. Honestly though- I can admire someone’s features without making it awkward.

“Can you bring them tomorrow you think?” I tilt my head, looking at the pans.

I glance over to see Jean giving me a blank stare. “Duh.” He mocks before cracking a smile.

I roll my eyes, “Just checking.”

“Wanna ride home now?” Jean asks, “not that I’m kicking you out or anything I just don’t want to hold you hostage.” He leans back against the counter.

I don’t say anything cause I’m trying to resist being rude in my answers. I just want to blurt out no. But I just take a deep breath, “I can walk, it can’t be any farther than walking downtown.” I say calmly. “And I can go now- if we got everything done.”

“You aren’t walking in the cold Marco.” Jean stares at me, “Please.” He adds.

“It’s not _that_ cold Jean.” It’s like saying no to a puppy and it’s painful.

“Fine. But I can still drive you.” He frowns, “There’s no point in walking.”

“Well maybe I like to walk over drive.” I retort.

Jean groans, “If you want to walk, you can. But will you at least like fucking text me when you get home so I know you haven’t been jumped?”

I roll my eyes, “Yes _mom_ ” I lace plenty of sarcasm in there to lighten the mood. I don’t want him worrying about me so much.

“You suck” He says, rolling his eyes.

It’s like arguing with my little brother. So I pull the tactic I use most often, take the insult as a compliment. I shake my head, “I’ll take that as a compliment.” I hum, heading into the living room to make sure I have all my stuff.

Jean follows me out, “What time do you want me?”

I have to register the question sanely cause my mind goes faaar beyond what he means. _How about now?_ No- I tell myself. Don’t think that. _How about always._ My face flushes but I’m sure Jean doesn’t notice. “To drop off the stuff?” I elaborate, “My classroom at 3 if that’s ok? The play starts at 5 but I’m there early to get things set up.” I take a few more steps and stop by the door.

Jean laughs- I’m not sure why but I’m not complaining. He steps over and stops by me. “So… Thanks.”

I blink and stare at him, “For what??” I am tempted to wait but I quickly add on, “Really I should be thanking you for helping me with this.”

Jean shifts, “I don’t know.. tolerating me?” He gives a laugh.

I stare at him more, taking in the way his face lights up when he laughs or how his hair gets messed up when he runs his hand through it. _This is no where close to tolerating Jean. Maybe I’m just happy to get to know you._ I don’t say that of course. I just smile thoughtfully before opening the door, “Have a good night Jean.”

“Night,” Jean nods to be, “Text me..” He reminds me, scratching the back of his neck.

I sigh, smiling, “I will.” I reassure before closing the door.

♬

It’s 9:30 when I finally get home and Tuff greets me at the door- she looks like she’s been sitting there for a while. I apologize to her as I pick her up, “I’m so so sorry I stayed out late I know you aren’t used to it.”

I run my fingers through her fur to pacify her before she can retaliate against me. I hum as I head for my bedroom, deciding against showering tonight, I’ll just do it in the morning. I slip out of my jacket while somehow still holding Tuff in my arms.

Laying down on my bed, I let her get comfortable on my chest after I shed my shirt. I am apparently a heater and she loves to steal my body heat. But she is my baby so I comply. I smile and sigh, _hanging out with Jean is so much fun._. I blink. Jean. Oh shoot I’m supposed to text him! I grab my phone out of my back pocket and pause. “....” I snap a picture of Tuff on my chest.

_-image attachment. I’m alive but got jumped.-_

I hum, impatiently waiting for his reply cause I sent a picture of Tuff in the text.

**_-Good. I’m guessing that’s Tuff?-_ **

I smile brightly cause he remembered her name.

_-Yes~ She owns me- not the other way around-_

_**-Lol little did you know that while you were getting jumped by a cat, this was kicking my ass. image attachment.-** _

I blink and open up the picture he sent and I burst out laughing cause it’s a half assembled bookshelf.

_-Heey! You found it!-_

_**-Unfortunately.-** _

_-Have fun with that :) -_

His next text was two emojis- one that looked dead and another that was a gun.

_ -Then who will bring the baked goods tomorrow?- _

**_-Do you believe in ghosts?-_ **

_-Yes. But still. Don’t kill yourself over it.-_

**_-Don’t worry. Hope you’re ready to come to a house warming party-_ **

Honestly, I’m more than ready. But I don’t want him to know that.

_-yea yea. Sure.-_

**_-Go to sleep loser-_ **

_-I’m getting there. See you tomorrow.-_

The fact that I get to see him tomorrow doesn’t help me with falling asleep. I close my eyes, listening to Tuff’s purr as I set my phone aside, not even noticing that Jean replied with a ‘mhmmmm’. I yawn, and Tuff actually does the same right after me. I chuckle and rest my hand on her head, “Goodnight Tuff.”

_Jean Kirschstein.. I am getting so screwed each time I see him. But you know what. I don’t care._

 


	6. Glad You Came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean helps Marco out with the play and go bowling after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK here's the next chapter! theunbloggable will be posting on Tuesdays and Fridays, a day after me. So I'll be posting Mondays and Thursdays the best I can since school just started back up for the both of us.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Also for what Marco plays on the piano- you can listen to what it would sound like here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tQA7xgRK6g  
> -Pencilonly

November 15th.

My alarm goes off at 7 am and I groan- loudly, complaining that it’s a Saturday and I should not be getting up this early. Of course my alarm clock is across the room so I have to physically get up and drag my feet across the carpet to hit the off button, silencing the device. I let out a huge yawn, “Day of the play..” Moment of truth to see how this goes.

I scratch at my messy bedhead hair and disappear into the bathroom to shower cause I didn’t last night. I take a quick hot shower that lasts 5 minutes before returning to my bedroom to change. I look at the clock again, I need to be at school at 12 to make sure I get everything organized and set up- meaning the stage and costumes are in order, tables are set up, flyers are out, ect. I change into my usual converse shoes and black jeans but putting on a white dress shirt rather than my favorite red one. I need to get a few more of them- giving the poor thing a break.

I decide to kill some time by cleaning up the apartment- picking up my clothes and running a load of laundry before I clean whatever dishes are in the sink. Tuff remains sleeping on my bed because even she knows it’s too early to be up.

After cleaning I sit on my couch, sprawled out as I scroll through my phone. Suddenly my mom’s name pops up on the screen as she’s trying to call me. I smile and answer the call, “Hey mom. How are you?” I stare up at the ceiling as she tells me that she’s doing well.

_“Marco honey, how would you like to come home for Thanksgiving?”_

My face pales. My mom thinks I’ve been driving back and forth to work and such. She thinks I’ve gotten over my fears when I’m far from being mentally stable while in a car. I run a hand through my hair and hold the phone away slightly, taking a deep shaky breath, tears welling up in my eyes. I can’t tell her- I can’t let her worry.

_“Marco? You there sweetie?”_

I clear my throat and collect myself before bringing the phone back to my ear, “Yea- I would love to come home for Thanksgiving.” That was the truth, “If you don’t mind, could Ymir come pick me up cause I don’t think my car can handle the trip.” And that was a flat out lie.

 _“You have to ask Ymir~”_ My mom hums on the other line.

“I- Alright.” I give in, “I’ll call you closer to break. Love you mom.”

_“Love you too sweetheart!”_

I hang up and bite my lip hard. I’m ashamed of myself because this still haunts me after two years. It shouldn’t- I am twenty five- I should get over this and not have to worry my own mother.

But I can’t. I can’t handle this alone more than I already have. I have to lie to my own mother to keep her from getting stressed out over her oldest son who lives nearly twenty plus hours away from her. I have a cat that keeps me sane for pete sakes. I can’t do this- I can’t- Not so soon-

My frantic thoughts stop because another voice in my head says _but you did do it_. That’s right- I did.. Jean drove me back to his house from the grocery store. I didn’t freak out- And his talking kept me calm.  I smile and blink back some tears cause I’m an emotional mess yet I’m so thankful to have met Jean cause who the hell knows how long it would have been till I rode with someone again.

Jean though. I chuckle to myself. I’ve never really connected with someone so fast before- even if he did scare me half to death in the beginning. I’m pathetic. I’ve talked to him.. 4 times total yet he has such an influence on me. I break into a grin, cause really he’s a good and bad influence. I swear I’ve never heard someone use fuck in so many ways like a casual word. But he also makes me want to be my best somehow- to be myself, to just let go of my problems when I’m around him. He’s so easy to be around.

I turn my attention back to my phone and find Ymir’s name in my contacts before calling her.

 _“Hello….?”_ She answers drowsily, I probably just woke her up.

“Hey Ymir.” I smile to myself.

_“Yooo.. baby cousin.. whatsup?”_

“Can you pick me up and drive me home for Thanksgiving?” I hear a loud thud on her end which makes me sit up.

“Ymir- everything ok?”

_“Marco- are YOU ok?? I swear you just asked me to come pick you up- as in we are driving for 22 hours.”_

I take a shaky breath, “I know and I did.. Mom wants me to come home for Thanksgiving.. and I don’t have the heart to tell her.. But.. I made some progress and rode home with someone so.. I think I can do it.”

I hear her sigh on the other line, _“I’ll do it.. but I swear Marco we will take this slow and at your pace- you need to promise me that.. Wait! Marco- everyone should just come to my house this year! It cuts back on ¾ of the driving and I’ll still come pick you up.”_ She continues ranting, _“Hold up let me call your mom.”_

I don’t even have enough time to respond before my phone goes quiet. I sit there, dumbfounded actually. Instead of a call, I get a text from Ymir.

**_-Yo. I got your back. We are having it at my house. No questions asked.-_ **

I smile widely cause Ymir is the best; I couldn’t have asked for a better cousin.

 _-Thanks Ymir. You are the best._ -

**_-I know I know. I am. Now let me get back to sleep Marco you fucking early bird.-_ **

_-Sleep well Ymir.-_

I smile at my phone as I send her the last text before checking the time. Still got an hour left before I have to leave. I hear Tuff meow and I blink, getting up to find her in my room stuck on my bed because her claws got caught in the blankets. “Tuff- I should clip your nails back…”

She hisses at me when I get her unhooked but I calmly hold her in my arms, getting mauled by teeth as I go find the cat claw clippers. It takes me a good 45 minutes to get her nails trimmed down to a decent length but I don’t make it out unscathed. My arms are covered in scratches and teeth marks, about ⅓ of them bleeding.

I finally let her down and she runs off to hide. I sigh heavily and look down at my bleeding arms. Getting up, I go to the bathroom and wash them off and put some bandaids over the deep cuts, and tending to the few that are on my face. I hiss from the stinging pain. I am a mess and I can’t help but laugh. Well I am somewhat presentable for the play, at least I’ll be helping backstage.

I get cleaned up and grab my stuff to head out to the school for the rest of the day. The weather isn’t bad out, it’s cloudy but it’s not cold enough to snow. So much for Hitch wishing for a snow day. I get to the school 15 minutes later and head down to my classroom. Stepping inside, I sigh, looking around at the classroom.. _my_ classroom. I set my bag down by my desk and head to the back of the classroom, humming as I stop at the grand piano that sits quietly in the back. I let my fingers dance across the keys, testing them out occasionally. I want to play so bad right now, but I gather myself and go back to my desk to get out the flyers and head out to tape them up around the school for when people arrive.

Next I went to the theater and double checked to make sure that everything was in place and the costumes were in check. All good thankfully. I stay back there for an hour and a half just cleaning and rearranging. No one would be here for a while so I decide it’s good me time.

♬

I get back to my classroom around 2:30 and I am in a _fantastic_ mood. I have Pandora playing on my phone in my pocket and no one is in the school yet to I am singing everywhere I go. One minute I’m singing _Payphone_ by Maroon 5 and the next I’m singing _Glad You Came_ as I’m sorting through the papers on my desk, jotting down some notes.

“My universe will never be the same..” My singing halts as my music is interrupted by a few sharp knocks on my door. I look at the clock, it’s 2:50. I hum and turn Pandora off before opening the door. Jean stands there with the multiple pans of baked goods that we made last night. I tilt my head at the confusion that he looks.. flustered for some reason but still I grin at his presence. “Hey~” I greet as I take some pans off of Jean’s hands.

“Hey.” He replies as he rolls his shoulders, probably stiff from carrying everything.  “Thanks.. where do you want me to put these?” He adds as he walks into the classroom.

“Just on my desk for now, I still gotta go get a table from the cafeteria to use.” I muse, setting down the pans as I clear some papers out of the way with my arm. I straighten back up, fixing my sleeves so they are rolled back up to my elbows. I do look like a disaster.

Jean follows suit and sets the pans down, shedding his winter coat and scarf. Compared to me, he looks so casual, like I like it.. it suits him so well. “You want me to grab the table?” He asks, staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Nah I got it.” I glance over locking eyes with him as I smile, “You can just wait here for a minute.” I nod softly and walk past him to leave, heading down to the cafeteria to fold a table down and bring it with me. It’s not that heavy thankfully. I mean come on, it’s a plastic lunch table. I stop outside the theater auditorium and set it back up. I run inside the auditorium and grab some signs I made earlier to tape to the front of the table, while also dragging some chairs back with me to put behind the table. I didn’t think it would take me this long but I’m back in my classroom before long.

As soon as I set foot inside I start talking, “So what do you think?” I ask Jean who looks startled from my sudden appearance. “50 cents too cheap?”

I watch him, humming to myself as he thinks things over. “Make everything a dollar- it’s easy, no change.”

I smile and nod, “Alright.” I move to lean against the wall, “Thanks again for bringing everything.” I am truly thankful, this day would be so much more stressful if he wasn’t here to help me.

“All in a days work.” He smirks, “It’s hard being so amazing sometimes.”

That ego of his, or that humor I should say. I can’t help but roll my eyes with a smile and walk over to my desk just to nudge Jean’s side with my elbow as I pass him.

He just smiles and shakes his head at my action, “So you ready for the show? Hitch was over at her friend’s house practicing last night so hopefully that means they’ve been making an effort, right?”

“Hopefully.” I hum as I sit down. I don’t know if it’s very obvious but I am ecstatic for this. Cause it reminds me of my theater classes and I am excited to show parents what their kids can do and the school what my classes can do. “I’m really looking forward to seeing if they enjoy themselves.” I close my eyes, “Makes me miss theater classes.”

Jean makes the oddest noise that makes me glance over at him but he turns his head away from me- but I catch the blush that’s growing on his cheeks. Did I say something.. odd? I make a face to myself as I think back to what I said but he coughs as a distraction.

I smile softly, resting my elbow on the desk, my chin in my hand as my other hand grabs a paper off my desk, “Are you looking forward to it?”

Jean doesn’t say anything for a few moments so I actually have to look up to see if he heard me. “Uh- yeah.” He starts, looking like he was coming back into reality, “I’m excited to see Hitch. However she does hate that I get to see her in a poofy, sparkly dress. The pictures will be the best blackmail.” His snicker turns into a laugh.

I chuckle, “Oh come on now.” I raise my eyebrows at him, “We don’t want her to be scarred from this.” I honestly don’t want them to be scarred. Cause that does nothing for confidence.

“Aren’t you a big brother too?” Jean asks as if he’s trying to convince me that I should be on board with this.

I scratch the back of my neck, glancing to the floor. “Yes but my students carry a whole different responsibility that I don’t mix with sibling treatment.” It’s hard to do so since I have a brother the same age as my students and I want to treat them like I do with my brother- I want to be able to play around with them but I can’t. I have to stop myself from being the big brother to being a teacher.

“Very professional” Of course, I have to be. I have to try. Jean looks over at me. “So what do I need to do?”

I pause and look around aimlessly and at my papers. There wasn’t anything to do. “Nothing much at the moment-” I trail off, “I need you to see these once families start arriving and taking their seats since I’ll be in the back once the kids get here.” I glance at him, hoping that would be ok.

“Got it” Jean says before sitting behind the table and kicking his up on it. “Maybe I’ll be PTA president by the end of this shit”

I smile softly at his little idea and lean over to nudge his feet off the table. Luckily he didn’t put up a fight. “I don’t think things run that way.” I laugh. I couldn’t imagine him at a PTA meeting with all these mothers trying to run it like a hot shot.

“We’ll see” Jean says “Anyways mom’s dig me so I think I can control the parent side of things” he adds on with a smirk. I raise an eyebrow with a small smirk.

“You gonna charm them into buying all of the baked goods?” I tease.

“Oh yeah” Jean hums, “I'm a master of seduction”

Oh my god- master of seduction? He swear he can’t seduce crap. I am trying so hard not to laugh and thankfully I can mask it with a roll of my eyes, “Sure. You go and seduce older women with your brownies.”

“Yes sir” Jean replies sarcastically, bringing his hand up to salute me.  

“That is a very poor salute.” I laugh. It was a poor salute. I remember I was in a play during college and I had military actions literally drilled into me because of the role  I had to play.

“What about this one?” Jean says snarkily and flips me off with a wink instead. I can’t believe how he can do that and cuss so easily. But his wink takes my mind off that.

I simply roll my eyes again, “Not any better.” I mock and Jean just smiles in amusement. I can’t help but smile as well with a small laugh, leaning back in my chair as my hands run along my battered arms unconsciously.

“Dude.”

I tilt my head in confusion to acknowledge that he’s talking to me. “What?”

“Is there a reason you look like you got in a fight with a paper shredder??”

Laughing, I look down at my arms, “Tuff got her nails caught in my blankets this morning so I had the joyous task of trimming them.” Task. Battle. Challenge. It was something alright.

“Jesus..” He breathes before adding after a few minutes of silence, “Did you disinfect them?”

Did I disinfect them? Well duh. Of course I did. I think by now I would know how to handle getting scratched. “Yes _mom_ I know how to treat cuts.”

My sarcasm is rewarded by Jean flipping me off again and a laugh. “Just wanted to make sure you aren’t gonna get an infection. Then we’d have to cut your arm off.”

My stomach drops and I grip my arm a little. I have to force myself to keep a straight face cause I know he’s joking but that joke hits a little too close to home for me. I’m lucky to still have my arm. My arm shouldn’t be here right now. It should be crushed between two junked cars. “So.. I would have no arms then?” I feign a joke, since both my arms are covered in scratches.

“Naww. You could have super cool robot arms.” Jean deadpans, “You could be like robocop- except a teacher.”

I force a smile cause I want to throw up. I want to tell him to shut up this isn’t funny anymore. “Having robot arms doesn’t sound very fun.. and it’s very unrealistic.”

“Yea.” Jean takes out his phone and snaps a few pictures of the baked goods. “But you could have lasers.”

“Unrealistic-” I repeat, cutting myself off with a crack in my voice. What’s fun about having metal keep you together so you don’t fall apart. Where’s the fun in that? There is none. But Jean just smiles at me- he can’t know. I won’t yell at him.

“You have a facebook?” I glance over at him and just shake my head no because I can’t bring myself to talk for this second.

“Why do I feel like you are secretly fifty?” He laughs.

I make a face to myself- Sure.. I don’t get into the social media stuff much.. mainly cause if I screw up and post something stupid the school board can find it. But I mean.. it’s not that much fun. Why be on facebook when you can play with a cat or take a bubble bath. “Maybe I just have simple pleasures is all.” I shrug my shoulders.

“Guess so- I guess I can survive without tagging you in this picture.” I turn to look at him as he sets his phone down to run his hand through his hair. I glance over at the clock awkwardly.. only 3:20.. I keep looking around to see if I can do something.. _anything_.. well.. the piano is.. something?

“What time do the kids get here?” Jean asks.

My eyes fall back to him, “Closer to 4:00.. 4:10?” He’s been here for only 30 minutes but the play is still an hour or so off. “Sorry..” I can’t help but apologize, “I made you come so early-”

“No big deal- China isn’t up yet anyway” he says “Do whatever you would normally do I have candy crush or whatever bullshit game Hitch downloaded onto my phone”

I glance over to the big piano in the back again, “Well… alright.” I murmur as I get up and walk to the back. I need something relaxing- I need to play or something. I haven’t played since I’ve been at this school. I’m surprised I hadn’t stayed after before. I take a seat at the bench, running my fingers along the keys to make sure each of them are in working order. It’s soothing, being able to move my fingers like this. I guess it’s where my habit of randomly tapping them comes from when I listen to music. I try and convert it to piano music. It sounds stupid sometimes but it keeps me calm. I move my fingers to get used to the feel of the keys again, humming as I play a few short notes. Honestly I’ve forgotten about Jean.

I shift in my chair and bring both hands to rest on the keys before I start playing Paradise. It was one of the first songs I’ve learned so I know it by heart and played it enough to be able to close my eyes and.. just let go. It all flows- it’s all instinct.

By the time I finish, I’m back into my happy mood again. I sigh happily and look up to realize that Jean was watching me and a blush spreads across my cheeks. “Uh-” I don’t know what to say cause I’m feeling self conscious and embarrassed. Sure I’ve played in front of people before- crowds- but the way he’s watching me.. I don’t know. He just watched me lose myself in music and it feels too personal for me to be ok with it.

“That was fucking amazing.” Jean beams at me, “Like seriously.”

I don’t know what to say, so I just settle for an awkward thanks as I rub the back of my neck, “I.. finally got to use this old thing.” I add softly before getting up to pat the top of the piano before I  move to retake my spot at my desk. As I pass Jean, I notice that he still looks stunned so I flick his forehead with a smile before I take my seat. “Like I said, simple pleasures.” I remind him.

I hear him repeat my words to himself and I look up over at the clock on the wall. Well.. That didn’t waste as much time as I would have liked. I finally give in and look over at Jean. “Well… I guess we can go set up?”

“Sounds good.” Jean says as he gets up from his chair to start unwrapping the brownie tins while I unpack the rice krispy treats. “Thanks so much for helping again.” I say as I grab the tins to head down the hall and start carrying everything out.

I hear Jean’s reply of “It’s no big deal” right as I exit the room. When I return, we both grab what was left and take them out to the table. It takes a few minutes to arrange everything and I take a step back to admire the setup. “What else?” I glance over at Jean after he asks.

“Uh.. Nothing els-” My answer is cut off from my name echoing down the empty hall way.

“Mr. Bodt!”

My eyes light up as I turn to see a handful of my morning period students walking towards us. “Hey! You guys are early.” I automatically move to go greet them, ruffling one of the boy’s hair. “Ready to put on a great show?” They nod up to me and I smile brightly cause a lot of them are just as excited as I am. Probably cause I’m not testing them.

“Oh hey. Marco.” Jean’s voice brings me back to reality and I turn my head to see that he’s holding up a tin in his hand. “I made these for the students. Chocolate chip.”

My eyes widen a little and the kids give off some ooos cause I mean hey- free cookies. Who doesn’t get excited about that. I laugh and usher them towards the theater, “Go on to the back and start getting ready. I’ll be back there in a minute. Tell the others who arrive that you guys get cookies after the show.” They all respond with head nods and listen to my instructions.

I stop near Jean and smile at him, taking the tin in my hands, “You’re full of surprises. Thank you for that. I’m sure it will motivate them.” I hum, still pleasantly surprised by this. When did he make them? Cause it sure had to have been after I left. If so- then why?

Jean rolls his eyes at my thoughtful thanks, “I had extra ingredients.” He mumbles like it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Now he was just acting like a kid- so instinctively I smile softly and poke at his side. “Still. You took the time to make them.” I would love to stay out here and talk with him more but with the students slowly arriving- I am needed elsewhere. “Can you manage till the show starts at 5:00? Then you can pack things up and come watch Hitch. I have to go help.”

“I think I can manage.” Jean smirks, “But here, try this.” He holds out a brownie to my face. Like right directly in front of my face. I have to lean back a little cause I wasn’t expecting that. But I’m sure he wasn’t expecting that I lean forward and just take a bite right out of  his hand. It’s quicker and it was literally right there. Not trying to make things awkward but still- oh my god this brownie is fantastic though. I try not to make some ungodly noise in delight.

“Oh man- That’s so good!” I laugh and take a step back, “Perfect brownies.” I hum.

Jean just smiles with a small nod. “Go break a leg.” Now there’s a joke I can go along with.

“Sure sure~” I chime as I turn to head to the theater to start getting this show on a roll.

♬

At 5:00 when all the people are settled in their chairs and I’ve made sure that everything is taken care of- lighting is fine, microphones work, no costume mishaps anymore, I take a step out on the stage, glancing around at the crowd. Practically all the seats are filled, which is great. I wasn’t expecting this many people.

“Everyone.” I start, not using a microphone cause I can project my voice pretty far, “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me and the students who put a lot of time and effort to make this happen.” I can practically feel the tension from here- if the parents are tense then my students must be worried sick. So, with a smile, I lighten things up before the show begins. “But hey, tonight is about my wonderful students who are putting this show on for you. All I did was get things started and get scratched up by my cat.” I earn quite a few laughs from the crowd when I present my scratched up arms. “So enjoy the show everyone!” I laugh with them and disappear to the back to help get the students in their places before the show starts.

I couldn’t pay much attention cause I was running around backstage helping but the play overall went very well. There was quite a few mistakes and little mishaps but they made it up with humor cause I could hear some laughing at times. At the end, I have them all file out on stage to take a bow then go wait by the school exit doors to thank people as they left. The theater is empty now so I sigh in relief, walking around the seating to pick up trash cause I’m sure Levi would kill me if I didn’t clean up.

I hear humming behind me and I turn to see Jean who smiles at me. “I enjoyed the show, it was really well put together- you could tell they actually care.” He says.

I smile brightly back at him, raises an eyebrow, “Did we break enough legs out there?” I joke.

“I would say you did.” He shrugs his shoulders and I give a small laugh. I attempt to joke but end up not getting much response from Jean.

“That’s good.” I begin but my train of thought is broken by an ungodly amount of laughter and giggles as I spy the mass of students running into the theater- wait- no no not at me! One by one they start latching onto me and I can’t hold them up- “Wait! Guys!” I whine as I lose my balance and fall back under a pile of kids. “Come on get off me.” I burst out laughing cause I’m helplessly pinned under my students as they chime out thank yous and I had lots of funs.

I manage to tilt my head back to see Jean taking pictures of me under the mob of kids. “Oh my god Jean!” I make a face, “Don’t take pictures.” I whine as the students give each other high fives and get off me to go get their cookies that Jean made.

I lay there for a few minutes, taking a second to breath. But Jean laughs at me, “Blackmail~” He hums before looking around. “Speaking of which, where the hell is Hitch?”

“She wasn’t in the mob was she?” I ask because I seriously couldn’t tell- it all happened so fast- I swear my life flashed before my eyes.

“No-” He says as he’s looking at his phone. It’s second later before he breaks out in a grin, “-She’s stuck in her dress. I’m assuming that she will make her grand appearance in a minute.”

I laugh cause it just sounds like something that would happen to Hitch. Sitting up finally, I roll my shoulders, “She did a wonderful job.” I smile up to Jean.

“Yea..” He replies quietly- I’m not sure whether he’s happy about it cause it sounds like he’s sad? I don’t know. I’m sitting on the floor. I can’t pick out everything from down here. “So- do you want help cleaning up?” He asks.

I blink- my first thought is _hell yes please help me cause it sucks being here alone_. But I collect my thoughts as I look around and shift to stand, “Hitch will probably want to go home, and you’ve done enough. So i got it.” I smile softly.

“Hitch is only coming out to hand me her bag of crap- I’m letting her go to the _after party_ ” he says rolling his eyes, giving me a look of _I don’t know what to do with teenagers._

I smile to show sympathy, “Well.. That’s up to you whether you want to stay or not.” It’s not like I want to force him to stay. But then the bake sale pops up in my mind, “Oh! How did the sales do?” I’m really curious but at the same time I feel like they went horribly and we didn’t make anything.

“We sold everything and made about one hundred and then with donations it came out to be around three hundred” he says pulling out money from his bag.

What? Did he just say _three hundred_?? I feel my jaw drop a little cause holy hell how did that happen? Where did donations come from? “I- How?! How on earth did we get donations? I don’t think I put a sign out?”

Jean laughs, probably at the ridiculous face I’m making. “I put a box out. Parents eat that shit up. Plus I put cash in the box to make it look like other parents were donating then everyone was like _I need to donate so I look like a good parent too._ ” He explains in a mocking voice.

I laugh cause it’s amazing he thought all this up. “You are sly.” I hum as I lean down to pick up some dropped pamphlets. “Also, you keep thirty for the ingredients.. okay?”

“Not a chance in hell Bodt.” I look up to see him set his coat on a chair before leaning over to help me pick up trash.

I feel my cheeks puff at him calling me by my last name. It’s already awkward enough to be called _Mr. Bodt_ all day at school. I don’t need any of that outside of school. “Fine-” I huff. “What can I do to make it up to you then?” As soon as the words left my mouth I knew this was a mistake.

“I’ll let you know when I decide.” Jean smirks at me and my stomach drops, I barely notice he throws a program at me.

“............I’ve made a mistake… haven’t I?” I worry out loud.

“Don’t make deals with the devil.” Jean deadpans as he rolls his eyes at me.

I decide it’s time to turn this around. I do happen to have an excellent memory. So I shoot Jean a knowing look, “I thought I was making a deal with a horse?”

The best thing I have ever seen is when Jean’s jaw drops in disbelief before he glares at me. “You’re an ass.” He huffs before breaking into laughter.

I laugh too, keeping the joke rolling, “I don’t think that’s your breed.” Honestly I’m starting to brace myself cause I don’t joke often and I don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know what to expect. Jean scoffs at my comment and says something but I didn’t hear it. I’m terrified cause he’s taking a few steps towards me.. closer.. closer. I instinctively take a few steps back till I’m backed up against a seat. I swallow hard as he leans in, his face so close to mine I actually forget to breath cause I’m lost staring into his eyes. Suddenly I feel a slight thump to my head as Jean smacks me with a stack of programs he picked up.

I blink cause he did all that just to hit me with trash? My brows furrow as I’m trying to look mad, “Trying to give me a papercut?”

He laughs and looks like he’s about to say something and because I’m waiting for it, I almost jump when Hitch comes bursting through the doors.

“Bro~” She grins, holding out her bags in front of her to Jean as she walks towards us.

Jean takes the bags from her with a sigh, “I feel like I’ve been demoted” He plops them down with his stuff, “From brother to bag bitch in all but three seconds.” I laugh softly to myself cause it’s a very sibling thing to do though.

“I love you?” Hitch replies dry and sarcastically.

“Yea, sure you do.” Jean rolls his eyes and reaches to ruffle her hair but she ducks away to dodge him.

“Stop it Jean. I’m going to a party.”

“Whatever.” Jean says. “You remember what I said?” He raises an eyebrow as he waits for an answer. I find myself waiting too.

Hitch gets this mischievous grin on her face and suddenly I don’t want to know anymore. “No drinking, no smoking- of any kind- and _no sex with condoms_.”

I nearly choke on air but slap a hand over my mouth to keep quiet. Jean looks horrified then shoots her a look. “Oh my fucking god Hitch. I will drag you home.”

I take a deep breath, “Hey Hitch.”

“Hey Mr. Bodt.” Well ok- she clearly knows I’m here. “Anyways, I’m leaving and I’m going to sleepover after so don’t wait up.”

“Text me sometime tonight then.” Jean shakes his head but I can tell he’s somewhat worried.

“Okay, fine. Keep each other company.” She muses before running off. Wait- what does she mean by that? I feel like she’s meaning something else than the literal sense but I don’t know what.

“I hate kids.” Jean grumbles before resuming to clean.

I can’t help but laugh, “You hate teenagers.” I correct with a roll of my eyes before I move to the back to dump my armful of papers in the trash.

“She drives me crazy.” He complains, dropping stuff in the trash can as well.

“She’s a good kid tho.” I glance over to him with a smile.

“I love her so…” He trails off and just sort of shrugs. I don’t know what to say so I leave him awkwardly hanging before he picks the conversation back up. “What’s left to do?”

“Uh…” I look around. The place is clean, I organized everything backstage right as the play was ending.. “Nothing? I guess.” I scratch at my neck.

“Are you going home now.. or..” I blink and watch him. He awkwardly looks to the ground, probably expecting me to say that I am.

I shrug my shoulders cause honestly, I don’t have much to do. “It’s the weekend so.. I have nothing better to do?”

“Do you want to hang out?” He asks me, running a hand through his hair.

You know what. I would love to hang out with him. I smile softly, tilting my head, “Sure, got something in mind?”

Jean falters in his response cause I’m fairly sure I caught him off guard with my answer. “Uh..” He starts, “There’s a bowling alley down the street?”

I haven’t bowled in _years_. Don’t know how well my right arm will hold up for it but hey, I trained myself to be left handed too. “Sound fun.” I smile and move to head back to my classroom to get my things with Jean following after me.

“We can actually walk from here- but you can put your shit in my car if you don’t want to drag it around.” That is the most relieving thing he’s ever said to me. He doesn’t know that though but I smile softly cause- damn it’s nice to know.

“I can bring it with me, there’s just some papers in my bag.” I shrug as I pull open my classroom door. Stepping inside, I undo my tie to stuff it in my bag before meeting up with Jean again as I shrug on my jacket. “You ready?”

“Yup” He nods and we exit the school, walking side by side down the sidewalk to the bowling alley. It’s gotten darker sooner but it’s still bright out cause of the moon. I nuzzle my nose into my scarf before I grab my beanie hat out of my coat pocket to yank it on my head and over my ears.

“I hate the cold.” Jean mutters and I turn my head to see that he’s bundled up under his scarf as well. I feel bad for making him walk, cause he clearly hates the cold. I don’t so much.

“You could’ve drove.” I say as I glance down to my feet.

“Driving is a pain in the ass for such a short distance.” I catch out of the corner of my that he takes out a cigarette and brings it to his mouth for a second. I mask my disgust under my scarf cause honestly, I hate cigarettes. I pretend not to notice Jean giving me a glance before he puts it away.

“Yea.. but it’s warmer.” I glance over at the street.

“We could run.” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice and I’m pretty sure he rolls his eyes or something at me.  

“Yea- I don’t think so.” I laugh and turn my attention back to him as he laughs as well. I just make a small noise of acknowledgement as we continue to the bowling alley.

♬

“Fuck!” Jean says huffing as he turns away as his ball rolls into the gutter for the third time in a row. I laugh cause I can’t believe it. The game is nearly done and Jean keeps getting gutter balls. I swear next time I’ll get him a guarded lane.

“You know.. i figured you would be good at bowling since you were the one who suggested it.”

“I haven’t bowled in years” Jean says walking back to the table and angrily sipping his soda. He looks like a grumpy child, with his brows furrowed as he attacks his drink.

I roll my eyes with a smile and grab my bowling ball with my left hand. I started out with my right at the beginning but I’m switching just to be safe. I walk up to the lane and roll the ball towards the pins, knocking only four down to my dismay.  “I’m not much better either” I laugh as I walk back to retrieve my ball for the second round.

“At least you got pins” he says. “Although if I was bowling with Hitch or Connie there would be so many fucking jokes about me not being able to handle my balls”

I make some odd noise as I try to keep in a laugh but I fail horribly. “Sorry. My jokes are mediocre as it is, otherwise I would try.”

“Well thank fuck for something” Jean grumbles as I take my second turn, knocking the rest of the pins down to get a spare. I shoot my hands up in the air as I turn back to him, “Yes!”

Jean groan loudly and throws his head back. “You are kicking my ass” He gets up and makes a face at me as we pass before he takes his turn. I watch him dramatically roll the ball down the lane uncaring- of course it actually knocks down some pins. Seven actually. “Of course.” He mumbles.

“You just gotta stop caring.” I smiles, “Maybe then can you beat me” I joke.

Jean flips me off in return. “I don’t think I’m going to beat you with three more turns left” He takes another bowling ball after the pins reset and rolls the ball lazily, it hits two more pins down.

“But I can try” he adds on as he turns to me, raising his eyebrow.

“Mhhhmmmmm.”  I hum with a smile as I grab my ball with my right hand. Which turned out to be a horrible horrible idea cause as soon as I let go to roll it down the lane- pain shot through my arm and I wince, watching the ball go into the gutter. “Man…” I mutter, both at my poor bowling skills and the fact that my arm still hurts when I use it too much

I kinda stand there for a second before returning to the front to wait for my ball. “You okay?” Jean asks with a look of concern.

“Yea..” I nod and take my second turn, going back to my left hand again. As soon as I let the ball go, I hear Jean behind me.

“Should I be worried about Hitch? At the party….”

I walk back over to him, stopping at his side. “Are you worried?” I ask, watching him with a shared look of concern.

“I don’t know. I did so much stupid shit when I was a teenager” he says glancing at his phone.

“Its ok to be worried.” I reassure him gently, almost wanting to put my hand on his shoulder but I don’t. “Do you want to txt her really quick?”

“I hate being responsible” He mutters, sending a text.

I smile softly cause it’s just part of growing up. “Someone has to be..”

Jean nods and walks up to the lane and take his last turn and managing a strike. “HA!” Jean cheers in victory.

I clap my hands, holding in a laugh, “Finally.”

He comes over and pokes my side hard, “You still won” Jean says with a grimace.

I smile cause he seems to be a sore loser. Kinda like my brother. “Don’t be a baby~.” I hum.

“Dont be a baby...who even says that” Jean says laughing. “You are such a teacher” he shakes his head.

“It’s the weekend, I’m not so much teacher right now.” I shrug cause it’s the truth. I don’t have people to hang out with on the weekend so I can be responsible and not act like a teacher. “Are we heading back now?” I question since the game is over.

“If you want”

I shrug softly, rolling my shoulders a little. “It’s getting late..” I glance to the side. Tuff is probably worried about me. She’s slowly getting used to me coming back later and later but still, I hate for her to worry. “I should probably go and make sure Tuff is okay..” I trail off in my words cause it’s not much of a good explanation.

“Well at least I get to take these ugly ass shoes off my feet” he says, sitting down at the table by their lane and ripping a shoe off his foot. I can’t help but laugh and lean down to slip my own awfully colored bowling shoes off.

“These things kill.” I mumble from the pain in my feet.

Jean huffs and I straighten up to watch him wrestle his feet back into his boots after I get my own back on. “Are you walking home from here?” He asks me

“Mhm..” I nod, waiting and preparing myself to tell him no, I don’t want him to drive me home because that’s what he always offers.

“Can I walk you?”

I freeze and look up to lock eyes with him. Did he just offer to walk me home rather than drive me? I feel happy yet conflicted at the same time because yes, I want him to walk me home but he’s a baby about being cold s0- I go for the middle option. “How about just to your car? Since it’s on the way back?” I offer as I put on my coat.

“Sounds good” he smiles, seeming pretty satisfied with my answer. I return a smile and wait for him to get bundled back up under all his layers of clothing before we head outside.

“I almost forgot how balls cold it would be outside” He whines as the cold air hits our faces.

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” I glance over at him. It does suck to walk everywhere in the winter but if you dress warm enough, it’s not bad.

“Whatever you say man” he grimaces before pulling his scarf tighter. “What do you normally do on weekends” he asks after a few moments of quiet. What do I do on the weekends? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m very boring actually so I just shrug.

“Um… really nothing- Kinda lay around the house and catch up on sleep and finish whatever remaining work I have.” I glance to the ground, pondering over my own answer.

“Simple Pleasures?” He says and it makes me smile.

“Pretty much.” I nod, looking up to return the question. “How about you?”

“Uhh- I don’t know, all the days blend together cause I work at home.” he says with a shrug “and I quite the bar scene so-” he trails off. I can tell he’s trying to work something out within himself and I don’t want to elaborate. So I go for the next best thing.

“Clean your house anymore?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“I got my bookshelves up”

“Got any books on it?”

“...no” he says looking down.

“Jean.” I make a disappointed face as I try and chastise him. “Clean your house up.”

“Bossy” Jean says back making a face me.

“I don’t think you can afford to lose any more glasses to your demon boxes.” I roll my eyes at the thought of the incident with the broken drinking glass.  

“I’ll just switch to red solo cups” Oh my god that’s the lamest answer I’ve ever heard.

“So if you have a _girlfriend_ over you are gonna give her a red solo cup.” Probably not the best choice of words. Using date would have been better cause I try and not just flat out assume things about people. It’s rude.

“If I had a _boyfriend_ over I would hardly think that what kind of cup they used would not be the focus of the night” Jean smirks and I feel my face get warm. Well that narrows down some things. I kick the back of his leg lightly to get my mind off what would be the _focus of the night._

“Unless they end up going to the hospital because you can’t clean up your-”I pause cause for one, I’m horrible at comebacks and two I try and not to make a habit of cursing but right now it’s the only suitable fill in the blank. “Cause you can’t clean up your shit.”

Jean laughs “Yes but if I clean up all my ‘demon boxes’ then I ruin my fantasy of having sex on a pile of them” he says as he does this- odd action with his eyebrows. God I don’t know what to call it but it makes me uncomfortable so I grab his hood to yank it over his face. I think at this point I’m learning to tune out his sex jokes cause I’m catching on that that’s just his humor.

“Whatever man.” I mutter, picking up speed to leave him behind. For a second I think I’m home free till I feel him grab at the back of my coat. I stop to try and maneuver myself to mess up his hair but he ducks down while digging his fingers into my sides. Which hurts. It’s right on my ribs. I huff and slip out of my jacket, jogging ahead to get away.

“Oh my god come back before you freeze your ass off”

I turn on my heel and take few steps backwards before sticking my tongue out at him. If he was going to be childish- then so was I. Jean meets me and flicks my nose in retaliation. “You are such a fucking loser.”

I grin and reclaim my coat, putting it back on as we near the school parking lot. I stop at the intersection of the street that leads to home. Smiling, I look at Jean. “Goodnight Jean.” I hum. I also want to say _Thank you, I had a great time/Lots of fun_ but I can’t form the words in time before Jean nods to me.

“Night Freckles.”

Oh my god- I hate that nickname so much. I think to myself as I head up the street towards home. But I guess I can’t complain- I did call him a horse. I don’t even know where Hitch got it from- I guess it’s cause Jean as a long face? In my mulling, I don’t even notice a car passing that almost came too close to the sidewalk till I hear a loud BEEP.

I jump to the far side of the sidewalk as the lights pass me- and I have to take a breath to get my heart going again. I am frozen on the sidewalk, nearly on the verge of tears.  I want Jean here. I want to go back and have him walk me home- or.. or something. But that’s stupid, so I take a few steps forward, cautiously in fear as I am hugging the walls of the buildings near the sidewalk.

_I need someone to be here. I need him here. I need Jean to keep my fears from taking over cause God knows I’ll drown._


	7. Headstrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Marco start texting each other a lot more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is later in the day, I'm not wanting to get too far ahead of theunbloggable with Jean's chapters so I was waiting for Jean's chapter 6 to be posted before Marco's ch. 7.  
> But thanks again for reading! Enjoy

November 16, 2 AM

I am sound asleep when suddenly my phone beeps loudly from the new text message ringtone. Groaning, I sit up and look at the clock, 2 am. Who the hell is texting me at 2 am?? I grab my phone and open the text- it’s from Jean.

**_-image attachment-_ **

I stare at the picture of the random cats. Why? I have to register what I’m going to say because I’m still half asleep.

_-Dude… why are you sending me this at 2 am?-_

_**-I thought of you lol-** _

_**-you didn’t have to respond.-** _

I yawn and sit up some, trying not to wake Tuff at my feet.

_-It woke me up. What am I gonna do? Put it back down?-_

_-Why are you up so early?-_

_**-working lol-** _

_**-Sorry-** _

_-Go to bed. You need sleep-_

**_-It’s the middle of my work day.. What if I told you I go to bed at 2 pm-_ **

I rub at my eyes in disbelief. How can he manage this? How does this schedule not killing him, it’s so unhealthy.

_-That is a messed up sleep schedule-_

**_-It sucks-_ **

I feel so bad for him… like seriously how does he function- it’s like living across the world only it’s in the same time zone here. It’s messed up.

_-clearly.. I don’t know how you do it.-_

_**-Ehh.. caffeine and nicotine.-** _

I’m so tired right now, all I can think of is how amusing his reply sounds cause it rhymes.

**_-Hitch is making me quit tho.-_ **

I smile to myself cause good for Hitch, she should make him quit.

_-good. That’s not healthy-_

**_-yes mom-_ **

_-Oh, so I’m the mom now?-_

**_-Go to sleep dork-_ **

_-I’m awake now thanks to you-_

**_-shit… I just thought you slept with like your ringer off..-_ **

_-Well. I usually don’t have friends to who text me at all-_

_-Especially at 2 am-_

_**-now you have me-** _

_**-lucky ;) -** _

_-Do I need to turn my ringer on silent from now on at night?-_

**_-I’ll try and refrain from texting you in the middle of the night-_ **

_-lol it’s ok. If you get bored or anything I’ll be happy to keep you company if I wake up-_

**_-Image attachment of a red panda-_ **

_-.....why?-_

**_-because it’s cute-_ **

**_-and all that shit-_ **

_-do you always just look up pictures of cute animals?-_

**_-buzzfeed is distracting-_ **

_-go back to work-_

**_-go back to sleep-_ **

_-no promises-_

**_-alright man-_ **

_-whatever-_

_**-goodnight Marco-** _

_-you should go to sleep too-_

_-Goodnight-_

I turn my ringer on silent this time and slide it across the nightstand away from me before I burrow under my covers and fall back asleep.

♬

5 PM

I’m sitting on my couch watching TV cause it’s Sunday and I have no work so I’m just being lazy. I’m scrolling through the pictures of my phone and occasionally snapping a few new ones of Tuff as she’s trying to sniff the device. I can’t help but smile at how cute she is and send a text to Jean of Tuff.

_-image attachment of a close up picture of tuff-_

_-Hope you aren’t still sleeping-_

**_-that’s adorable-_ **

_-Isn’t she tho?-_

_**-Image attachment of a bowl of mac n cheese-** _

_**-not as cute as a cat-** _

_-nope-_

_-You unpack anymore?-_

**_-yes as a matter of fact I have-_ **

I raise an eyebrow cause I find that hard to believe.

_-what then?-_

**_-living room and guest bedroom-_ **

**_-the boxes are slowly disappearing-_ **

_-that’s good.-_

_-Destroy that fantasy of yours-_

**_-I have other fantasies~-_ **

My face reddens as I stare at his text. God- part of me wants to know and part of me is like _stay away from that topic please_. My mind starts reeling cause for one- having sex on boxes is pretty stupid. I know it is a joke so I try not to think about it. But I start thinking if I have any..

I mean- I have had sex before- it wasn’t very enjoyable. I mean it was but it wasn’t. I personally like to take things slow- get to know my partner and find out what makes them tick, what makes them writhe- but my partner always was fast paced and eventually, they lose interest in me before long. I drop my phone in my lap and stare at the palms of my hands. I wonder how.. he feels under my hands..  

I slap my hands over my face and groan- loudly. “Ugggggghhhhhh” God why am I thinking about this while texting Jean. Why am I thinking about Jean like this?! He’s just my friend. That’s all I really want. _Right?_ I blame him for bringing this stuff up. Huffing, I grab my phone to reply to Jean- considering it took me a few minutes to get my head out of the gutter.

_-Don't start that again.-_

**_-Okay okay-_ **

_-thank you-_

_**-I’m about to drive.. ttyl-** _

_-be safe-_

**_-Will do.-_ **

**_-I’m taking Hitch to a parking lot to teach her to drive so should be… interesting…-_ **

_-Have fun with that.-_

_**-Don’t tell me how to live my life ;) -** _

_-bye Jean-_

After that, he doesn’t reply back to me. Which is a good thing because he shouldn’t text and drive.. it leads to accidents.. injuries.. death.

♬

November 17, 6 pm

I can’t believe Levi gave us so much work to do- I mean why do I have to research stuff? I’m the teacher… The interviews and all that are stressful as it is but now I have a mountain of paperwork too?? At least Armin has the right idea. He invited me to go out with him to a new restaurant that just opened up and I accepted because hey- I didn’t have anything planned at that time and it would be a great start to the weekend. It’s a macaroni and cheese restaurant and it sounds fantastic.

I shake my head and lean back over my desk to continue filling out papers. I flinch when my phone beeps at me.

**_-want to hang out?-_ **

I smile softly cause it’s Jean but I’m also buried in work right now.

_-Can’t. I’m getting some work done. Sorry.-_

**_-nbd-_ **

_-another day-_

_**-Sounds good. :) -** _

I set down my phone again and sigh. I want to go hang out. Get away from this stressful school stuff. But I can’t.

♬

November 18. 10 PM

Oh my god I can’t sleep. I’m staring wide awake at my ceiling and I can’t freaking sleep. I have work in the morning. I have to get up at 6:30 am. I grab my phone and text Jean cause it’s starting to become a habit near the end of the day.

_-life sucks-_

_**-? what happened?-** _

_-I can’t sleep and I have to get up butt early-_

**_-I just woke up-_ **

**_-try hot tea?-_ **

_-tried that before-_

_-and I can’t believe you just got up-_

**_- **I saw Sasha and Connie at lunch time and came home to sleep before I work** -_ **

_-so you took a nap?-_

_**-basically-** _

I roll onto my side and stare at the bright screen in the dark. I don’t know what to say but I want to keep the conversation going.

_-aaah..-_

**_-what about listening to music-_ **

**_-to go to sleep-_ **

_-I think that wakes me up more actually-_

**_-bath?-_ **

_-already took one earlier-_

_**-count sheep?-** _

_**-Image attachment of sheep-** _

_-oh my god. You know what. Goodnight.-_

_-Have fun with work-_

_**-sure sure ;) -** _

_-bye-_

**_-night-_ **

I roll my eyes and tuck my phone under my pillow so I can wake up to the alarm in the morning. He’s such a dork.. I swear..

♬

November 20, 5 PM

I just finish dinner and I’m staring at options for maybe some dessert but of course I don’t have anything to make. Jean’s brownies sound awesome right now. In fact- I think I’m craving one. I only got a bite at the show and everything sold out- which is a good thing but I probably should have bought one at the time.

_-guess what?-_

**_-hmmmm?-_ **

_-I’m craving your brownies and it’s all your fault-_

**_-I have ingredients-_ **

_-ooooof course you do-_

_**-want me to bring you some lol-** _

_-no, that’s ok-_

_**-lame-** _

_-I know-_

_**-Image attachment of a mixing bowl-** _

_**-now I’m making brownies-** _

_**-Hitch wants them lol-** _

I’m a little jealous that Hitch can get his brownies whenever she wants.

_-lol have fun with that-_

_**-let’s hope I don’t burn the house down-** _

_-waste all your hard work putting things away-_

_**-but then I’ll get more boxes-** _

_\- you don’t need more boxes-_

_**-but then cats would love me-** _

_-yes. but one can only have so many boxes-_

_**-that’s what you think-** _

_-I’m not wrong-_

_**-that’s what you think-** _

_-dork-_

_**-Image attachment of a mixing bowl with brownie batter-** _

_**-chocolatey goodness-** _

_-You’re evil-_

**_-devil emoji attachment-_ **

_-gotta go now. See you-_

**_-see you.-_ **

I go to plug my phone in and disappear into the bathroom to shower and start getting things together for Friday.

♬

November 21, 7 AM

I am tiredly wrestling on my tie when my phone vibrates against the table. I quickly straighten it and look at my phone.

_**\- I am going to my friend’s restaurant tonight.. Wondering if you want to come?-** _

I sigh and regretfully reply. Sure I would like to but dinner with Armin is tonight.

_-Sorry. Would like to but I already got plans with someone-_

_**-It’s cool. have fun.-** _

_-you too-_

♬

“So Armin.” I begin as we are walking to downtown Trost to go to this restaurant he suggested, “What’s this place called again?”

“The Inpastas” He laughs, “It’s a macaroni and cheese based restaurant.” He looks up at me and I raise an eyebrow.

“That sounds so.. odd- yet so… right at the same time.” I ponder out loud. That sounds like so much mac n cheese. I tug at my beanie, glad it’s warm enough out that I don’t need to wear my scarf. “How did you find out about this?”

Armin gives his usual smile and shrugs, “I saw a flyer around town and thought it would be nice to support the couple who just opened it.” I smile and nod cause he’s right and it is a nice thought.

“Well, it sounds like a great place to eat.” I hum, still regretting not being able to go have dinner with Jean and his friend. “I had to tell Jean sorry this morning, cause he asked me to grab dinner with him.”

“Jean- oh! the guy who came to Hitch’s parent teacher conference. You asked him to be friends, right?? How’s it going?” He beams up at me. “You should have rescheduled with me then!” He nudges me in the side.

I laugh, shying away from his jab. “Armin- I’m not going to cancel on you.” Rolling my eyes at how dramatic he’s being, “He’s just my friend- okay? He’s really nice to hang out with and he’s saved my butt during the play. I owe him a lot.” For the play, for being my friend, for keeping me company, for unknowingly helping me with my car issues.

Armin just raises his eyebrows up at me like he knows something and I can feel a blush spread across my cheeks. I know what he’s suggesting. “Armin- _he’s just a friend._ ”

“Whatever you say Marco~” He smiles and opens the door to the restaurant when we get there.

What the hell is that supposed to mean. It’s not like I’ve thought about dating Jean or anything but my mind freezes because oh shit- I have- not the dating sense but- the I wonder what it would be like to hold you type deal. But I shake my head to get my mind off it and follow Armin inside.

“Hi~ Welcome to The Impasta~” A woman with brown hair that’s pulled back into a ponytail greets us, “I’m Sasha, the co owner.” She smiles brightly at us.

“Hi-” I return the greeting as I look around, “Wow, this place looks great. I wish you guys the best of luck with business.”

She hums and leads us to a table, “Thank you! This is the first day of opening and we’ve gotten quite a few people.” I sit down and Armin sits across from me. “What would you like to drink?” Sasha asks us.

“Water.” I nod to Armin and he says he wants the same. She nods and turns to disappear.

Armin looks over the menu, “Your play did really really well. I was impressed.” He hums.

I look up from reading my dinner choices, “Thanks Armin- I’m surprised at how well everything did as well.”

“What are you planning to do with the donations?”

Oh right- I told him how well Jean did with the bake sale, “Um.. I’m thinking of using it to invest in some instruments and fix some things up around the theater.”

“Those brownies were really good.” He laughs, “That was pretty smart of Jean to do the donations.” He states as Sasha places down our drinks and Armin and I give her a few thanks.

“Ready to order?” She brings out a small notepad and pen.

“Mhhm” I nod and so does Armin. “I’ll have the special.”

“Same” Armin hums as our menus are taken out of the way.

“Alright! That’ll be out soon.”

I take a drink of my water and Armin smiles at me, making me pause with the cup to my mouth. “I think you and Jean would be cute together.” He states out of the blue and I nearly choke on my drink.

“What the hell Armin!” I whine, feeling my face get hot as I press my forehead to the table in embarrassment. I feel his hand pat the back of my head. “Can we _please_ not talk about this? You know I don’t think I can handle a relationship right now..”

“Marco.” Armin murmurs, “You’ll know when the time comes.” He smiles and I raise my head and give a small pathetic nod.

We talk about school and what are our plans for Thanksgiving break in the mean time. Armin is apparently going away with Eren and Mikasa. I’m going to Ymir’s for a few days with my family. Our chats slow down after Sasha brings out our dinner. Which by the way is fantastic. This is _nothin_ g compared to box mac n cheese. It’s waaay better.

“Marco-” I look up from my eating to look at Armin who is glancing down at the table, “I’m thinking of quitting working at Trost High.”

I’m dumbfounded- “Why?” I speak the first thing that comes to my mind.

He smiles softly and gives me another ‘you’ll know when the times comes’ before he explains. “Jobs are temporary. We all took these jobs to get us started. It may pay well but it isn’t my dream. I’m gonna be opening a used book store nearby soon, and I want to put my time into that.”

I’m proud of him- least to say. I’m glad he has this dream and he’s working toward it. But I still feel a pang of loneliness in my chest. “I’m gonna miss you..” I mumble.

He laughs and reaches to ruffle my hair, “We will still hang out Marco. We are friends after all.”

That brings a smile to my face and I nod as he pulls his hand back. “Right.”

“This is my dream- don’t you have one?” He asks in all seriousness.

 I have to pause and think. Is teaching teenagers for the rest of my life my dream? No- no it’s not. I majored in music- I want music to continue to be a major aspect of my life and my future. “I want to teach music.. but not forever at Trost.. I..” I trail off and shrug my shoulders. “I want to teach private piano lessons.” I finally say. “That’s my dream.”

Armin beams a grin at me and I can’t help but laugh. Sasha suddenly appears and plops a whole chocolate pudding pie down between us. I flinch cause she came out of no where. “Uh-” I start but I am cut off by her.

“Complimentary dessert~~” She hums, a wide grin on her face as she takes our empty plates. I stare at Armin- we both don’t know what to do with this.

“Uh..” I try and gather my words, “Thank you? I- uh.. could we get a box for this then? And the check?” I ask.

She nods and turns to go back to the kitchen to drop off the dirty plates. We stare at this whole pie in front of us, dumbfounded. Armin just bursts out laughing, “Oh my god. Marco- this is all yours.”

“What!? But won’t Eren and Mikasa eat it? I’m just one person.”

“Noo- you take it home.”

I huff, leaning back in my chair, no longer putting up a fight. When would I have time to eat this? I don’t even think I can eat this all-

“Here’s your check~” Sasha reappears and gives us the box and check. Armin and I quickly split up the bill and hand Sasha the money with tip and she thanks us, hoping we would come back again.

I box up the pie and carry it with me as Armin and I leave the restaurant. “Have a good break Armin.” I smile and nod to him and he wishes me the same before we part ways and head home.

♬

It’s 1 AM and my phone beeps loudly as it receives a new message. I groan cause I should _know_ by now to turn my phone on silent. I’m still not used to people texting me but I still grab my phone- missing it a couple of times as my hand searches the night stand. I know it’s Jean. He’s the only one who texts me at an ungodly hour.

_**-Guess who's house is gonna be clean ;)-** _

I stare at the text for a few minutes, my eyes squinting from the small text and the bright light. I lean over to grab my glasses so I can actually see and not be blind.

_-mine?-_

_**-Shut up. It's my house. -** _

_-haa. I know. That’s for waking me up at 1 am-_

_**-Sorry Why do you sleep with your ringer on?!-** _

_-cause I forget I have a friend who is nocturnal!-_

_**-Just call me Dracula ;) -** _

_-Anyways. Congrats on finally cleaning up your boxes-_

_**-Poor boxes. They met their death. Hitch stomped the shit out of them. -** _

_-Nice.-_

_**-So yeah. I'll see you at 3 on Sunday right.-** _

_-I did agree to come, so yes. -_

_**-Haha okay cool. I'm grilling -** _

_-Isn’t it cold out though?-_

_**-Gloves.-** _

_-Whatever. Go to bed.-_

_**-Middle of my work day. Picking up extra hours from what I missed last week. -** _

_-Jean- you can’t keep this up. It’s not healthy.-_

_**-Mhmmm whatever you say freckles-** _

_-whatever. See you Sunday?-_

_**-:) :) -** _

_**-...night-** _

_-Goodnight- good- work? day? whatever just- yea. night.-_

I rub my eyes cause they are starting to hurt and I’m losing focus. I can’t comprehend what I’m trying to say.

**_-You are cute when you're  flustered lol *diabolical laughter* -_ **

_-i'm not flustered. I'm half asleep. -_

_**-Go to sleep loser. Find your other half -** _

_-bye-_

I turn off my ringer and don’t even wait for a reply because he should learn by now that if I end my texts like that- then I’m done for the night. I set my phone and glasses back over on the nightstand and burrow under my warm covers. I’m ready to sleep in. And not be interrupted for a good eight hours straight at least.

 


	8. A Sky Full of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco goes to hang out at Jean's house practically all day before he has to leave for Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are only posting on Friday's cause I'm letting theunbloggable catch up so we are posting the same chapters at the same time and school is getting in the way of writing as well.   
> Also, I've been trying to look up singing voices for Marco, I have a good idea of who but I want to see what you readers think, do you have any ideas of what he would sound like? Love to hear from you guys. Also for those who don't know, I'm http://pencil-only.tumblr.com/ on Tumblr. 
> 
> Thanks everyone!  
> -Pencilonly

Sunday: Nov. 23

I somehow manage to sleep in till 11 and it takes me forever to get out of bed. It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving break and honestly, I need to recharge. So I lay in bed with Tuff till about 1, just catching up on reading some books while staying warm under the covers.

I soon enough peel myself from bed and take a shower before I have to be at Jean’s house by 3. I’ll probably leave at 2:30 cause I’m pretty sure the walk isn’t that long. Picking out clothes after I’m done in the bathroom is harder since I’m not dressing for school. I settle on a dark red tshirt and a light zip up jacket with my jeans and converse. It’s a little relieving to dress down for once.

I clean up my house and spend a little more time with Tuff because I’m not sure how long I’ll be out. Near the time I have to leave, I feed her and make sure her water bowl is full before I grab my phone after I slip on my coat because it’s snowing outside. Luckily it’s not windy or else it would be bitter cold. But I can deal with snow.

I make sure to grab the pie I got from the restaurant cause I’m sure Jean will eat this sooner than I will. Pausing at my door, I figure it’s best to text him, for one cause I figure he should know I’m on my way and two I’m not one hundred percent sure I remember the way to his house.

_-On my way, I think I remember the way to your house-_

I finish situating my hat and gloves, it doesn’t take long from my phone to alert me that Jean replied. It contains his address and a little note.

**_-Looking forward to it-_ **

I smile softly cause I’m looking forward to it as well. Mainly because he’s the first person outside of school I’ve connected with and having a friend around here to hang out with is really really nice and relieving. Meeting circumstances was a little undesirable but things have cleared up enough that I’m comfortable being around him.

♫

It takes me 25 minutes of walking in the falling snow to make it to Jean’s house. I step up to the front door and knock, a little harder than I usually would since my gloves muffle the sound. I was prepared to have Jean open the door. What I was not prepared for was to be greeted by.. a man with a shaved head.

“Hello….?” He raises an eyebrow at me and I am internally panicking. _Did I go to the wrong house? No- this is Jean’s house._

I can’t help but stare nervously, trying not to show my panic, “Hi?”

He narrows his eyes at me before they widen, “Oh fuck! You’re Marco! Freckles man!” The man practically shouts. I just nod because I don't know what to say to this guy who knows who I am but I have no clue who he is- and he’s calling me freckles.. that has to be Jean’s doing.  

“Come on in! I’ll grab Jean.” He holds the door open and I step inside cautiously past him, taking off my heavy coat, scarf, hat and gloves once I’m inside. The man closes the door behind me, “I would say watch out for the boxes but Jean-bo actually got his shit together and cleaned up.” He laughs.

I can’t help but laugh softly cause it’s true. “Yea, I would hope so since he invited me.” I mean, that’s the whole reason I’m here- I promised Jean I would come over if he cleaned his house up.

“He’s through the back fighting with the grill- we told him not to grill in the snow but.. you know Jean.” Of course he’s grilling in the snow- I probably should have told him over text not to grill. That’s just crazy. “You want me to take that from you?” His voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look up to see him gesturing to the pie in my hands.

“Uh… yea” I nods softly and hold it out for him to take it from me, “Thanks-” I nervously explain why I have it. “I got it from a restaurant and…” It was given to me at the restaurant and I have no clue why. “Never ate any yet so.. why not bring it?” He reaches to take it from me but is interrupted.

A female voice chimes from the kitchen, “Connie- Babe!” Ok now I got a name for the guy who opened the door. I see a woman appear and I don’t know what makes me more nervous, the fact that Jean isn’t anywhere in sight or that the woman is the owner from the restaurant, actually- Connie must be the other owner since it appears that they are together.

“Oh! You’re Marco!” Why does everyone know my name?? “And I know you from the restaurant.. You came down a few nights ago right?” She beams at me and I’m glad I recall her name.

“....Sasha…? Right?” I ask and she smiles with a yes and walks toward me, extending her hand to me. I smile softly and grasp her hand to return the handshake.

“Firm handshake, no wonder Jean likes you.” She says laughing and Connie joins in with her. I retreat my hand and try and fight the blush invading my cheeks. I can see why they and Jean hang out together. But I’m fighting any thoughts because I just want Jean to be my friend.

Connie takes the pie from me finally with a laugh, “She’s joking with you… we mostly just like to torment Jean but I’ll take that from you.” He throws an amused look to Sasha and I can feel my face get red for a new reason. “It’s a pie he got from a restaurant.”

Oh my god- I brought back the pie I got from The Impastas… back into the hands of the owners by complete accident. I open my mouth to apologize but I make some inhumane noise as I cover my face with my hands as I crouch to the ground.

“What have you done to him?” I look up to see Jean appearing from the kitchen, covering in snow from his grilling.

I just groan and manage out a whine, “Connie and Sasha- are--” I am tempted to leave because I am so embarassed.

“He rejected our pie.” Connie laughs as he disappears and I glance up long enough to see Jean mouth ‘what’ at me.

I take a breath to compose myself before I stand up, rubbing the back of my neck as I explain the situation, “Uh.. I went to their restaurant and I ended up with a pie that I haven’t touched for two days and I… brought it here.” I throw a look past Jean as I reply to Connie. “I didn’t reject it!”

I hear Jean laugh and I turn my head just in time to see him bring the grill tongs toward me but too late to avoid him pinching my arm with them. “Come on.” He smiles, “Let’s go grill in the fucking snow.”

I make a face and nudge the tongs away, trying to be serious but I give in and laugh because being around him can be so relaxing it’s addicting. “Alright.”

“You too- stop fucking with people!” Jean calls out to I assume is Connie.

“I assure you Jean, we will stop fucking Marco- I mean fucking _with_ Marco. That’s _your_ job.” I hear Connie’s voice reply and I feel my face grow red and I glance to the ground to avoid any eye contact with Jean.

“I will poison you Connie!” I hear Jean snap before he tugs me along with him outside. I don’t resist because I need the cold to cool off.

Jean doesn’t say anything and I wish I grabbed my heavy coat I hung up by the front door but the air feels nice right now. I smile softly, “House looks nice without boxes everywhere.” I murmur, trying to change the topic that was left off of in the house.

“Thank you.” He says, “It was a fucking bitch to get it all clean. You aren’t an adult until you use fucking q-tips to clean dirt out of wall paneling.” He sighs and I smile softly for sympathy, “I didn’t even know that was a thing.” He complains.

I give a small laugh, “That does sound like a pain,” I say as I lean against the outside of the house. I watch him for a minute, he’s such a baby with the cold yet he’s out here covered in snow standing in front of a grill. But I glance up and stare at the way the snowflakes rest on his hair. “So why are you grilling in the snow again?”

“Because you have to grill at a housewarming party.” He proclaims, tilting his head to wink at me, “Winter stops no man.”

I can’t help but be sarcastic, mainly for him winking at me, “I’m pretty sure there is no mandatory rule for having to grill.” I raise an eyebrow, “Especially if you end up getting hypothermia from standing out here."

“Says the guy who walks everywhere in the dead of a Washington winter.” He shoots me a look and I smile.

“Says the guy who always complains about how cold it is.” I retort with a smile but my comebacks are returned with Jean pinching my nose with the tongs, which I end up whining over cause it hurts.

“Shut up.” He mutters, “Stop being logical and enjoy the meat.”

_Enjoy the meat_. Oh god I’m dying inside. Honestly with the amount of jokes tonight I’m doing my best to just ignore them. I lean forward to pinch at Jean’s sides so he’ll release my nose. “I’m a teacher- I have to be logical and rational.”

Jean turns back to the grill, “It’s the weekend. So you don’t have to be a teacher.” I smile brightly because he remembers what I said.

“Look at you using your brain.” I laugh and am able to bring my hands up to block my face from Jean throwing a loosely packed snow ball at me. “Don’t make me go back inside.” I pout.

Jean laughs and I feel his arm sling around my shoulder, tugging me closer to him. Honestly- there is too much clothing on him right now because I feel too far away. Wow that’s a weird thought.

I can’t help but smile and raise an eyebrow at him as he smiles back, “Whatever man.” He removes his arm to my disappointment and takes the steaks off the grill.

I still smile because I am comfortable being around him and it makes me happy. It’s like having a best friend that I knew for years but.. it’s hasn’t been that long with him. But he makes me happy, so I’m not questioning it.

We both head back inside, snow covered. Sasha greets us excitedly, “Yes! Meat has arrived!” She cheers.

“Thank fuck- I’m starving dude.” Connie says, “Can we eat now?”

Jean asks if everything else is done and Sasha says something about mac and cheese and potatoes. Which doesn’t surprise me honestly.

Jean says the magic words, “Let’s eat then.” as he carries the steaks to the dining room. I follow after him cause I’m starving- me being lazy today meant I didn’t eat breakfast. As I step inside the room I stop short. I can’t believe him. The table is set up with nice dishes and silverware and what cups does he put out? Freaking red solo cups.

I shoot him a look that matches exactly what I say. “Really???”

“Really.” Jean laughs and I roll my eyes and take a seat.

I look up over at Connie and Sasha, “By the way.. Connie, Sasha.. I hope things are doing well at the restaurant because your food is amazing.” I say honestly, because I never said anything to them when I ate there.

“Thank you- we promise we will step up our pie game but everything else is going over really well. You actually get to try some new stuff we are putting on the menu right now” Sasha says with a smile as she places down a casserole dish. They aren’t ever going to let me live that down.. are they?

I feel a slap to my back as Connie walks past me before sitting down. “Hope you brought your appetite man.”

I smile because Jean groans, sitting down next to me. I laugh softly, “I literally had no time for the pie, I swear.” I answer Sasha first before shrugging my shoulders a little. “And I did because I slept in today and decided it was a good idea to skip breakfast.”

“We’ll forgive you… this time.” Sasha hums with a devious look in her eyes that makes me want to reconsider ever knowing them. What’s up with everyone I meet happening to be devilish.

As she piling food onto my dish, I glance over at Jean with a smile, “I’ll be sure not to mess up next time.”

I manage to catch him rolling his eyes, “So what is all this stuff you made?” He asks.

Sasha’s smile widens,  “well I made a Parma-JEAN mac and cheese, as well as some mash potatoes that are fairly classic.” I am resisting the urge to laugh because Sasha made a pun out of Jean’s name with her food.

“-And I made so cheesy garlic pull apart bread and hericot vert- essentially green beans- with corn and shallots” Connie adds on.

All of this sounds amazing so I can’t help but laugh, “You guys are the best. Like I only ever get meals _this_ nice if I go out to eat.” Connie looks at me horrified.

“Jesus- what do you eat at home??”

I scratch the side of my head, “Uh… Spaghetti.. some microwave meals from time to time.. and most of the time I just don’t feel like cooking cause I’m tired.” It probably happens too often for it to be healthy but I shrug, “Plus my electric goes out a lot.”

Connie and Sasha exchange looks which just makes me shift in my chair. “Oh my god Sash, can we adopt him?”

Sasha looks at me, “We will send him meals and love.”

I bite my lip to hold in a laugh, “Oh my god guys- I’m not dying.”

“Eat your food Marco” Sasha practically commands.

“Once eat our food anything else will just be an _impasta_ ” Connie says.

“But I already ate your food once.” I whine.

“You didn’t eat the pie.” Connie shoots a look at me and my eyes widen. I don’t know what to say cause I’m not used to getting teased on the same subject for so long. I open my mouth but Jean interrupts my train of thought.

“Shut up about the pie and eat your food Connie.”

I sigh of relief and glance over at Jean to mouth ‘thank you’ to him- but he’s already digging into his food so I turn my attention to my down plate, trying to figure out how to go about all the food Sasha stacked on my plate. I try the steak first then a little bit of everything else. My god this is so good- like I wouldn’t mind eating this everyday for the rest of my life.

I’m so focused on eating that I miss nearly all of the conversation going on between Jean, Connie, and Sasha. So I am able to tune back in for just a second to hear Sasha say, “True. Sorry Jean I can’t cheat on the restaurant. I’ll leave you for all the boys and girls of the world who have a strong desire for some seabiscuit in their life” she laughs.

I don’t say anything but I’m composing myself because that was pretty funny- seabiscuit.. horse jokes. Jean is apparently horse face. It’s just funny.

“So Marco.” I look over at Connie, “How are you liking Trost?”

I glance away back to my food, “I like it- considering I’ve been here since June.” I take a bite of food as I’m gathering my thoughts. Trost is okay. I miss home a lot. I miss seeing my little brother and my parents. But- I like teaching here. I like being able to walk everywhere. I like Jean- no- wait- I like _hanging out with_ Jean. Well. I guess I can like Jean. He’s a great friend. “I do miss home occasionally but my cousin is closer so I guess that makes up for it.” I finish.

"Where's home?" Sasha asks while simultaneously putting more food on my plate.

"Sasha- stop. You are going to make me sick or something." I make a face as she leans back. "I'm from Jinae, Arizona." I say as glance around at everyone. I know I’ve told Jean my hometown but not the state.

“Jesus- how the fuck are you so okay with the cold!?” Jean looks at me and I don’t say anything- sure I am used to the Arizona heat but I mean…. I’ve gotten used to the cold here fairly quickly, I have to.

“Shut up Jean- Arizona is lovely.” Sasha hums and I smile softly because she’s so sweet. “So you teach music right?” She asks.

I make a noise of agreement and nod to her, “Music and theater.” I elaborate cause just music doesn’t do the class justice.

“Oh! That’s so fun- We are doing an open mic night next month if you are ever interested, we think it will become a monthly thing.” She smiles. I smile back because it sounds like fun, but I’m not sure about singing in front of people just yet. So I go with a better alternative.

“How about I play piano for you guys instead?” I offer- maybe they could set up a date night on the weekends. I can play pretty sappy and romantic piano music.

“Whatever you want- we would be happy to have you.” She beams at me.

“We’ll even give you free pie.” Connie laughs and I’m about to say something but I can hear the front door open and I voice that I am all too familiar with- it makes me freeze in my seat.

“JEEAN! Are you home!?”

“Dining room.” Jean calls out.

Lo and behold, Hitch walks into the dining room, dragging a familiar boy behind her. Marlowe- he’s a student in my first period music class. Hitch and I lock gazes and her eyes widen and I feel myself sink into the chair cause this is so awkward. I hear her introduce Marlowe to Jean but I don’t hear the rest of the conversation. I try and focus on eating again because I’m trying not to make things more awkward. It’s weird to see students outside of school- especially if you are sitting in their brother’s house. I’m not supposed to be here- I really shouldn’t be here.

Hitch says something else and grabs the rest of the cheesey bread before she laughs and starts retreating from the dining room. “Nice seeing you Sasha, Connie..” She pauses and I feel my stomach drop, “Mr. Bodt.” She adds before disappearing.

“Fuck- I’m sorry..” I look over and lock gazes with Jean as he apologizes.

I smile softly because it isn’t his fault, “It’s ok…”

“Well that whole interaction gave me hives,” Connie says, “Fucking teenagers man.”

Jean gets up to collect plates and I laugh softly, standing to help clean up. “Doesn’t help that they are teenagers _and_ my students.” I smile because it’s the truth.  

“Dude I don’t know how you work with teenagers all day” Connie says. “You are a brave soul”

“Indeed” Sasha agrees

I look over at them and shrug my shoulders. Teaching them and being around them isn’t that bad- it’s.. interaction outside of school that worries me. “It’s not that bad though- it’s just a little awkward for me to see them outside of school- like this.”

“I didn’t know Hitch was going to come over today- especially with that kid with the weird hair- Marnie or whatever” Jean says shaking his head, and walking to the kitchen. I gather up any remaining dishes and follow him.

“Marlowe-” I correct him as we put the dishes in the sink.

“Whatever.” He makes a face and looks at me with a serious expression. “Do I have to worry about this punk?”

“Woah man-” Connie starts, “Dial your dad back like ten notches.”

I smile reassuringly, “I think Hitch is fully capable of taking care of herself.” I smile softly. Even Hitch scares me sometimes- I would rather not get into an argument with her.

Connie and Sasha both agree with my statement before Sasha announces that they need to get going as she punches Connie in the shoulder.

I smile brightly at them, “It was nice to meet you both.”

"Wonderful!" Sasha corrects walking over to me and she pulls me into a hug, “Anytime you need good food you better stop by.” I hug her back, wrapping my arm around her waist with my chin on top of her head.

"Seriously you can hang out in the front or in the kitchen with whoevers working the back" Connie says and I laugh.

"I will, you can get my number from Jean if you need to get a hold of me" I say, letting Sasha go.

"You are going to regret that" Jean says laughing. "I'm not the only one who texts at two am"

I make a face because I’m pretty sure Connie and Sasha know better than to text me for no reason at 2 am. But Jean on the other hand- "I'm learning to turn my ringer off at night." I retort at him.

"Alright we'll see yall later" Sasha laughs grabbing her coat and Connie’s hand.

"I'm sure you'll figure out something to do with all this food" Connie adds as they walk out of the kitchen.

"I'll stop by with Hitch sometime next week" Jean calls after them

"Bye guys" I call right before they leave the house.

"Sorry bout that" Jean says beginning to wash dishes and I laugh softly and begin to help him. He washes the dishes and I help dry.

"No, no it's ok. I like them.” I answer honestly. It’s nice to meet new people and ones that Jean knows. Plus they are pretty nice- their humor is something to get used to but I like being around them.

Jean laughs "Connies been my... Friend since freshmen year of high school and I just met Sasha but it feels like they've been together forever" he says passing dishes to me to dry off. I set the them aside on the counter once they are dry.

"They suit each other really well. It's cute.” I add. It’s nice to see couples who complement each other like that.

"Oh- fuck I'm sorry about the pie. I saw you at the restaurant last week and mentioned to Sasha that I knew you and next thing I knew she had materialized a fucking pie" Jean says. Wait- he was there- Oh shoot! He invited me to dinner at his friend’s restaurant and I turned him down to have dinner with Armin at the same place.  

I laugh because the pie situation finally made sense. "I didn't mean to make your date weird.”

I pause and look at him, my eyes widening- did he think Armin and I were dating? I blush because it was not only was it completely false but I am thinking back to Armin teasing me about Jean. “Oh- uh.. It wasn’t a date or anything..” I explain, “Armin is the school’s librarian and he invites me to lunches and such because I don’t go out much-”

Jean rolls his eyes, “mhhmm..” I rub the back of my neck nervously because I feel like he doesn’t believe me.. and that hurts a little. He keeps the last dish and dries it off himself, “Want a tour of the house?”

I nod softly, “As long as you don’t show me a room full of boxes, then sure.” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

“You fucking wish you could be that lucky.” Jean retorts, throwing a wink at me. I smile because that’s the Jean I know. I roll my eyes as my natural reaction.

“Naaah.”

“Denial is painful man.” Jean laughs and I can’t help but think, _Yea- it is really hard_. I can’t get past my denial that I’m not getting better emotionally and mentally after the accident. I can’t get past that maybe I want to be closer to Jean- but I’m holding on to this desperate need for friendship.

“Come on, grand tour and all that shit is this way.” Jean says as he nods his head in a direction and I follow after him. His house is really really nice- like I wish I could live here rather than in my apartment but I need a way to save up money quickly so I can get my own one day.

I watch the back of his head, zoning in and out of the tour. “Also- I can’t believe you actually put red solo cups out- you jerk.” I mumble, my brows furrowing.

“Well my girlfriend wasn’t going to make it so I figured I would be safe.” He mocks. I know very well he doesn’t have one and he’s just messing with me because of that one night. So I stick out my tongue at him.

“Whatever.”

“How’s Tuff?” Jean asks and it throws me off because I probably talk about Tuff way too much for it to seem normal.

“Uh- Doing really well.. I need to take her to the vet over break.” I say because I have nothing else to tell him.

"Oh man" Jean says "So- this is the living room.. Which you've seen...but it's clean now." I smile because the living room looks so much nicer without a plastic covered couch and boxes strewn about. Or broken glass on the floor.

"It looks nice. Like a lot nicer without you tripping over stuff." I hum and shoot him a knowing look of when he tripped and shattered the glass.

Jean rolls his eyes dramatically and gestures through a sliding door off of the living room. “This is my office.”

I look around, because I can just see Jean working in here- and sending me cat pictures. “Where you stay up till the ungodly hours of the morning working?” I ask- because the thought of his work schedule makes me sick at my stomach.

“Yup..” He sighs and that doesn’t help with my worrying. “The window even simulates daytime.”

I say the first thing that comes to mind, “That’s messed up.”

“You just defined my life.”

Frowning, I stare at him for a second before I ask softly, “Do you ever think about getting a different job? One that isn’t so hard on you?”

“All the fucking time.” Jean says as he leads us toward the stairs, pointing to a door next to it, “Oh- that’s the downstairs bathroom.”

I barely acknowledge where he is pointing but I still comprehend it. My mind is still wrapped around Jean and his crappy job. “Why don’t you then?”

“Because I’m a masochist.” He jokes as he heads downstairs and I follow him but my eyes narrow because this is no time to joke.

“Seriously.” I repeat, “Why don’t you?”

“It’s a steady job.” He answers, “Which Hitch needs me to have.”

I give in and nod softly, Jean is working hard for Hitch. I get that. He came to the parent teacher conference, he picks up Hitch sometimes, he helped out with the play. My heart sinks a little because the thoughts at the dark pits of my mind come forward. _He’s only being nice because Hitch is your student. It’s all for Hitch. Not to help you. Not that he’s your friend._ “Okay. I get that.” I don’t even know if I replied to him or to my own thoughts.

“Yeah- So this is the basement.” Jean says, “Which pretty much concludes the tour since all that’s upstairs are the bedrooms and a library.”

I smile softly, taking a look around as I pull myself back to reality. “This is all pretty nice- it’s a lot better than my apartment.” I laugh because my apartment is pretty bad- it’s a piece of crap.

“I picked it out over the phone with a realtor and Hitch- there is no way I was staying with my parents for any amount of time.”  I nod and we are both silent for a few good long minutes- I’m torn between does he want me to stay or should I leave or.. I don’t know.

Jean shifting catches my attention and I look over at him as he asks. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I instinctively look at the time- it’s still early.

“Uh- yea.. sure.”

“Got anything in mind?” He raises an eyebrow at me and I shake my head no because I didn’t plan for this- or to be here this long. I’m not complaining though.

“How do you feel about terrorism?” My eyes widen because wait- what? Where does- Why does it matter?

“I- I don’t know??” I stutter, “Why? Are you thinking of some kind of cop show or something?”

“24” Jean says and I raise and eyebrow because I don’t know what that is. Jean retrieves the movie as I take a seat on the arm of the couch because it’s just where I sit at home most often.

“Never watched it before.” I smile to him when he comes back over with the show in hand. Jean stops in front of my and I look up at him as he presses his palm to my chest to push me back. I just let it happen and fall back on to the couch, my legs dangling over the arm. I stare up at him as he turns away to put the DVD into the player.

“It’s fucking addicting.” He laughs.

“We will see about that.” I hum and Jean goes to turn off the lights before returning to sit at the other end of the couch. I tip my head back and look at him for a second before sitting up to slip my shoes off and cross my legs under me as Jean presses play.

♫

Three Episodes later

He was right. This show is addicting. I am so focused on watching right now that I’m oblivious to anything around me. My arms are crossed in my lap and I’m leaning forward slightly. There is an intense interrogation scene on the screen right now and this one guy is about to stab another guy with a needle. I didn’t pick up on names. The second that the needle hits the man’s skin- I feel at poke at my neck.

I nearly jump out of my seat from shock with a yelp- My eyes flying to Jean after I slap my hand over my neck. Jean- is sitting there with a stupid grin on his face and he’s holding a freaking unfolded paperclip in his hands. “Holy crap Jean!” I try and keep my voice low but it’s coming out as a mangled whine. He snickers then bursts into laughter.

My brows furrow and I shove him away from me, “You jerk! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Suddenly I’m falling. Jean grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me down with him to the floor as he falls backwards off the couch. It’s clear that I’m going to land on top of Jean and I don’t want to hurt him so at the last second I brace my hands on either side of his head. Pain shoots through my arm up to my shoulder because of how hard I landed- I got to start being more careful or this will get worse. I look down at Jean, amusement in his eyes as he looks up at me. Maybe I would find amusement in this awkward situation but that’s the last thing on my mind right now.

“Are you okay?” I ask- trying to cover up the pain in my voice, my arms trembling as I’m trying to stay steady over him.  

“I’m fine.” Jean hums but I clearly didn’t hide it enough because he suddenly looks worried- No- that’s not what I want to see. “Wait- are you okay?”

“M’fine-” I lie through my teeth, straining to keep a reassuring smile on as I push myself back up to sit back and lean against the couch.

“Liar.” _Yea- that sounds about right._

“Jean- I’m fine.” I repeat, my words contradicting my action of gripping my shoulder. Jean gets up and tells me to wait here before walking upstairs. I lean back into the couch in silence. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He can’t see me like this- My eyes glass over because I feel like I want to cry. But I can’t. Not here- Not in front of him.

Jean returns after a few minutes and sits down next to me, holding out an ice pack. I mumble a small thanks and I take a ice pack, setting it down next to me before I slip my right arm out of my jacket. I take the ice pack and slip under my shirt by my neck and hold it against the back of my shoulder. I can’t hide all the scars- but my t-shirt sleeve covers the worst. I can’t look at Jean- I don’t want him to ask me about anything. I don’t-

“You wanna keep watching?” Jean asks after a few long minutes of silence. I make a sad noise of agreement. The show resumes and Jean doesn’t move away from me. I don’t watch at first, I stare at the palm of my hand. I feel pathetic. I feel broken.

“I-...” I can barely speak. “Sorry about that..”

I take a deep breath and recollect myself as Jean replies. “Did you just apologize for me hurting you?” My eyes widen because he- he thinks _he hurt me_.

“Dude-  you didn’t hurt me. I just landed funny.” Well, that was part of the truth. But he didn’t hurt me.

“Oh my god- well I’m glad I got the fucking first aid kit because I’ve used it too many times in the past week to not have it.”

I laugh softly, relaxing again as my pain is numbed by the ice. “The boxes made you accident prone.” I smile before removing the ice pack from my shoulder and sticking it to Jean’s neck before I put my jacket back on.

The ice pack earns a “Fuck!” from Jean and I lean forward to smile at him.

“Payback for poking my neck.”

“Shut up and watch.” He grumbles.

“Okay, okay.” I say as I turn my attention back to the TV screen, my interest lost in continuing to watch but I still do so.

♫

The soft popping noise from the stairs catches my attention and I turn to see Hitch with a nerf gun. Of course it’s too late and I am pelted in the face with darts. “Haha! Suckers!” Hitch yells as she bombards us.

Now- somehow Jean keeps nerf guns  stashed under his couch and he’s firing back at her. I want no part of this so I scoot away from the couch to the other side of the room- only to have Jean shoot at me. Why? Why me?

“All’s fair in war and nerf guns man.” He laughs.

"Shit!" Hitch says as she dramatically pretends to be dead on the steps. "I have been thwarted" I watch her for a second and see Jean throw me a look.

I can’t help but laugh, “Oh my god you two-” I can’t believe this.

"You have a younger brother" Jean says, trying to make a point once again, but trust me- I do not store nerf guns under my couch for raids by younger siblings. But my brother and I don’t battle with nerf guns- we actually use paint guns.

"Is he hot!" Hitch asks, sitting up from where she had ‘died.’

“Hitch- you don’t need to know that.” I plaster on a smile with the shake of my head. My brother is literally a mini me- except his hair is parted a little off to the side. But he’s practically a younger me and if having a student find my brother hot isn’t awkward then I don’t know what is.

“Actually it’s super vital information.” Hitch says. “I mean he probably is but you never know..”

“HITCH!” Jean snaps at her and thank god for that- things were getting awkward.

“Fine brother dearest.” Hitch says, rolling her eyes.

"Oh my god teenagers" Jean mutters. "Speaking of which- what happened to Martin or Marlin- whatever the fuck his name is.”

"I sent him home" Hitch shrugs.

"Oh god" Jean says. "Don't manipulate that boy he has enough problems in life like his stupid hair"

"It's pretty shitty" Hitch sighs.

I am doing my best to ignore the conversation for one and two not join in and three I’m trying not to laugh because Marlowe’s haircut is pretty bad. But he is a student and I should not actually say these things out loud.

"Oh so can I have that pie?" Hitch asks.

"You can have a _piece_ of pie" Jean replies.

"Lame" Hitch says. "Pie is my life"

“Dear lord Jesus-” Jean mumbles and I feel the impact of a dart against my head. I look up at Jean and he smiles at me, “You want pie?”

I nod softly, “Sure..” I say getting up and we all head upstairs to the kitchen. When we get there, Jean cuts the pie and hands me a plate with a piece on it. Then he hands a glass of milk to Hitch and of course- my glass is a red solo cup. I scrunch my nose at the on going joke then move to sit on the countertop. “Thanks..”

Jean converses with Hitch for a while as he sits next to me on the counter. I listen for a little bit before I take a bite of the pie. “This is really good- though I don’t think Connie and Sasha will ever let it go.”

I hear the click of a phone camera and look up to see Jean holding his phone- taking a picture of me. I throw a look at him, “You need to stop taking pictures of me at unnecessary times.”

"It's completely necessary." Jean says laughing. "Connie and sasha need to know that you tried the pie so that the can let it go" he says as he holds up the phone to show the picture sending to Sasha. I huff because he’s right and maybe this will get them off my back.

"I guess."

"Lighten up Mr. Bodt" Hitch laughs and I freeze as she darts upstairs with more of the pie.

I sigh, setting my half eaten pie aside, “That sounds too awkward outside of school..”

"I assume they have to call you Mr. Bodt in class?" Jean asks

I nod, looking down at my lap, “Yea… It’s not like college.. where I have the choice to tell students to just call me Marco. It _has_ to be _Mr. Bodt_ here.” It sounds stupid- it sounds weird. It sounds like I’m an old man overseeing all these kinds when in reality I’m not too much older than them. It’s like having my brother address me so.. and it’s not right.

I glance over to see Jean making a face. "Have you ever thought about teaching college?"

I nod softly, "Mhm. I applied for one but the only reply to my job application was Trost High." I couldn’t afford to just wait around and see if a college would hire me, so I took the first offer I got. "I might try again over the summer. Though I just want to teach at schools till I get settled down enough, location and money wise" I add as I slip off the counter.

"Yeah." Jean says. "That sounds logical"

"At least there is a good amount of schools near here, I don't feel like moving again. " I give him a look of shared sympathy about moving.

"You miss out on the joys of boxes" Jean laughs and I nudge his arm with my elbow.

"It's called labeling them, Jean”

"Well I'm not moving ever again so that settles that."

"Considering you finally got the house clean, I would hope not."

"You say that like it will stay clean" Jean says. "I have Hitch and Connie over enough that it will be a fucking disaster in no time."

The thought of Connie and Hitch ruining the house sounds about right so I laugh at the idea. "Yea good luck with that"

"Thanks" Jean says rolling his eyes. Suddenly there is a phone ringtone going off and Jean takes out his phone, looking at the caller ID. “Sorry, I’m going to grab this really quick.” He says as he steps out of the room, answering the call in another language.

I lean back against the counter and take out my own phone. **Missed call from Ymir**. Ymir called me? When? I check the time and it was during the show I guess. Since Jean is out, I return her call.

“Ymir? What’s up?” I ask

_“Yo Marco, I should be in town in a few hours but I’m not sure what time exactly.”_

“Okay, I’m over at a friend’s house right now but I’m sure I’ll be back home before you arrive.”

_“Be safe walking home.”_ She hums on the other line.

“You be safe driving- the roads are covered.”

_“You know I will. Don’t worry baby cousin, I am being extra careful.”_ Her voice is soft and reassuring because she knows me.

“Love you.” I murmur.

_“Love you too. See you soon. Bye.”_

“Bye.” I smile softly and end the call, putting my phone back into my pocket. A few minutes later, Jean reappears. He sighs, walking over and resting his head on the counter.

I tilt my head to look at him, my brows furrowed in worry and confusion, “Everything okay?”

“I hate my fucking job. I hate my parents.” He mutters. “But it’s fine.” Well- now I know we both lie about this kind of stuff.

"Doesn't seem fine if you are using the counter as a headrest"

Jean laughs and looks up at me, "Seriously, it's nothing that I haven't dealt with before. I'm fine."

I watch him for a few seconds then nod softly, cause I know I shouldn't be asking a lot of questions about it. "Okay. But if you do need to talk or anything.. I'll listen. Even at 2 am." I say because I want him to know he doesn't have to go through things alone. Shows how much of a hypocrite I am.  

"Sure sure." I earn a smile from him and a nudge into my side. I smile as well because I like to see him happy. I glance down at my phone.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I ask.

"Uh... Leftovers from this and sleeping" Jean says.

"No relatives or anything?"

"None that I want to see." Jean grumbles. "And Hitch is going to her friends house up north"

"A Thanksgiving alone sounds nice though" I shrug softly because even though I want to see my family- I know they all pity me every since the accident. Nothing was ever the same after that. They look at me like I'm still broken- and sure I am but with Jean- he doesn't see the broken me- he doesn't see someone who nearly died.

"It's normal for me now" Jean says.

"If I was staying in town I would say we can go to Connie and Sasha's for Thanksgiving or something." I say- because spending Thanksgiving with Jean, Connie and Sasha doesn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe I'll see if I can spend it with him next year.

"Ill probably end up there." Jean laughs before adding "I'll save you some of their Thanksgiving pies- what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

I laugh at the mention of pies, "I don't think I'll need more food when I get back." I smile softly and look over at him, "And I'll be going to my cousin's house in Oregon where my family will meet since it's closer."

"Oregon such a lesbian state" Jean says. "Fuck sorry- I- nevermind that was a joke that me and Connie had cause we both had girlfriends who turned out to be lesbians who were from Oregon-" Jean trails off and does the cutest thing ever- he pouts. It's adorable and it makes me smile but I end up laughing at his comment.

"That's pretty funny, considering Ymir is a lesbian" I raise an eyebrow at him with a smirk. And he just stares wide eyed at me, I'm pretty sure he wasn't expecting that kind of response.

"Dear fucking lord"

I smile, "You two would get along pretty well I think. She's just as rude." And has the same _hinting humor_. Jean scoffs and nudges into me at the indirect comment about him being rude.

"Want to watch more of the show?" He asks me.

I nod, "Sure. It's not that late so why not."

We both head back downstairs and get situated again on the couch before Jean hits play and I get immersed in the world of 24 again.

♫

_I can tell that I'm back in the hospital room- but I'm not bandaged or injured. There is no machines, no doctors, just an empty room with me in it. I'm just sitting comfortably on the bed and someone is sitting on the edge near my legs- I can't see their face but I can feel their smile so I smile back._

_"Marco."_

_They speak my name but when I try to say theirs  - nothing comes out of my throat. I don’t know their name. Who are you?_

_"Hey Marco."_

_They say again and I still can't find their name in my throat. I lean forward and pull them into a hug, my arms securely around their waist. I feel their hands press on my back as they hold me close. This person- I just want to hold them forever because it feels like they chase away my nightmares. I bury my face in their shoulder, a hand coming up to brush away my stray hairs gently from my head._

_"Marco."_

_Why can't I find your name? Please- I need to know. I feel them pull back and I whine._

_"Don't move... Please." I beg. Please don't leave me. Please don't let me fall back into darkness. They whisper something but I can't make it out. I feel a small kiss planted on the top of my head and they start to pull away again. Don't leave-_

"Freckles?"

That awful nickname pulls me out of my dream and I shift back to lean against the couch. "What?" I mutter, rubbing my eye as I come to.

"You fell asleep- normally I'd let you sleep but I know you have Tuff at home" Jean says. I fell asleep? I look around to comprehend my surroundings. Oh- right. I'm at Jean's house. I roll my stiff shoulder, trying to wake up fully.

"Right- thank you." I need to get home to Tuff- it's getting late. I look up at the tv, the episode on pause. "How far did we get?"

"Bout thirty five minutes in" Jean says yawning.

I simply nod, standing up. "You're tired too. I'll head back home." I say, not really wanting to leave but if I stay any later I'll feel like I'm a nuisance to him. "But.. You will probably go back to work... Won't you?" I ask in hopes that he will deny it. That he will actually go to sleep.

"You know me too well." Jean says smiling. I frown and look to the side. The thought of this job and how if affects him makes me upset.

"Can I drive you home?" There he goes asking me again. Part of me wants to give in and let him from now on- it's only around town- I know my surroundings well enough. But right now it's snowing, so no.

"No, cause the roads are covered with snow and I highly doubt you can get your car out of the driveway."

"What if I walk with you?"

I smile softly because of course I want to say yes but once again, it's snowing. "Jean, I'm fine."

"Fine. Text me so I know you haven't been murdered" he says covering his face with a pillow. There he goes being cute again. I smile and lean down to slip my shoes on that I took off right before we started watching.

"I don't think a murderer would even be out in this weather." I hum, now moving to head upstairs. I hear Jean shift from the couch and follow after me.

"Wait so a fucking murder is too good for the snow but you're okay?"

“Exactly.” I laugh and Jean huffs behind me.

“You are so fucking frustrating.”

“So are you.” I say, because it’s true. He can be frustrating to no end- but I still like to deal with his crap. I make it to the front door and grab my coat, slipping it on and grabbing my other items.

“Damn right I am.” Jean mutters and I turn to see him putting on his coat and shoving his feet into snow boots. No- no he can’t come with me. I can’t believe him.

“Jean-” I narrow my eyes, trying to be serious. “Stay here.” I am trying not to beg him to stay home where its warm. I’m forcing back a pathetic ‘please’ as I put my scarf, hat, and gloves on.

“I’m just going for a walk.” He shrugs, trying to look innocent.

_Liar_. "You are a big baby in the cold. I highly doubt you would take a walk, especially right now." I state, making a point.

"Did you just call me a big baby?" Jean turns around to face me. Considering the foyer isn’t that wide- we are standing very close but that doesn’t matter because he is trying to look so offended that I called him a baby. Again.

“I did.” I smile and reach to take off his hat and scarf because I’m not letting him go outside in this weather. He practically hisses at me when I yank his hat off and I’m trying not to laugh at his reaction.

“Motherfucker” He reaches up and yanks my hat off and I try and grab for it while also holding on to Jean’s hat.

“Jean.” I say, my voice hard because I shouldn’t be playing keep away.

“Marco.” Jean says as he hides the hat behind his back and presses up against the wall. I step forward and nearly place my hands near his hips in an attempt to get it back but I freeze. We are about an inch apart and I stare down at him, his eyes watching me as I don’t make any movements. I can easily get my hat back. I can easily overpower him and get it back. I have multiple ways I can get my hat back but instead- I give in.

“Fine. You can walk with me. Under one condition.”

“Which would be?” He raises his eyebrow at me and I smile softly, wrapping Jean’s scarf back around him and tug his hat back on his head. I hold out my gloves to him- I know he has mittens but god- mittens are weird.

“You wear these.” Jean laughs and he reaches up to tug my hat back on my head, so I tilt my head down a little so he can reach just fine. This whole day has been oddly domestic- and I like it.

“Whatever you want freckle Jesus.” He takes the gloves and he holds out his mittens to me. “But that means you get these.” Oh hell no. No way.

“No. Cause mittens are weird.” I turn to open the door and head outside before Jean can say anything else.

“So are you. Put them on Bodt.”

“Nope.” I retort as I start trudging through the snow. The constant snowfall throughout the day left a good three inches on the ground. I hear snow crunch behind me as Jean follows.

“Now who’s the baby.” He mutters.

I pause and turn to smile at him, “You are still.” Jean appears next to me and he sticks his tongue out at me. I glance away from him then look up at the sky. For it being late out, the cloudy sky and the snowfall makes it seem bright out. The sky is a beautiful shade of light orange.

“......Tonight was fun. Thanks.” I say. Not only was tonight fun, but all the previous times we hung out and I always ended up just saying bye instead of saying what I wanted to. But Jean shakes his head.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I still will though,” I smile and open my mouth to say something else but my phone ringing cuts me off. “Sorry-” I fish out my phone from my pocket and answer it.

“Hey Ymir.”

_“Hey baby cousin. I’m at your apartment. Where are you? It’s fucking freezing out.”_

“Sorry- I’m not home yet. I’m on my way back.”

_“Well hurry up before I die of old age.”_

“Just stay in your car and I’ll be there soon.”

_“Okay. Be careful walking. Love you.”_

“I will. You too.”

_“You liar. No you don’t.”_ I roll my eyes because she is being difficult but that’s just Ymir.

“Yes. I love you too.”

_“See you soon. Bye.”_

“Bye.” I smile softly and tuck my phone back in my pocket.

“Everything okay?” Jean asks.

“Mhhm.” I nod and glance over at him, “Yea- my cousin is at my apartment cause she’s taking me to her place tomorrow for Thanksgiving.”

He looks down to the side, “Sorry I kept you so late.” I want to reach out and take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly and tell him don’t ever be sorry for that. But instead I just smile because I know I can't just do what I think.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know what time she was arriving anyways.” We walk for a few minutes in silence, my pants are already getting packed with snow around my ankles. And my hands are constantly stuffed in my coat pockets to keep them warm. Jean nudges my side to get my attention.

"So I hope you know that Connie and Sasha are going to start bringing you food. Like fuck tons" I look over at him smirking at me.

I can’t believe those two. I’m not some starving kid or anything. "Oh my god please tell them don't. I'm not starving to death.” I roll my eyes, my cheeks puffing in frustration.

"I can't control them" Jean says rolling his own eyes. "You'll be tasked with trying everything new before they put it in the restaurant"

"Joy" I mutter sarcastically as I turn on to the street that my apartment is on. It’s about a five minutes or less walk from here, depending on how hard it is to go through the snow. 

"Connie and sasha are the only reason I go to the gym.” Wait- Jean works out?

“Pfft-” I try not to laugh because I can’t see him at a gym- yet I want to see him at a gym. Maybe I should go back to the gym again- of course actually get a therapy routine going to I don’t injure myself even more than I’ve already had. I really don’t want to go back to see a therapist again. “With all that pasta they make you eat, that would be a good thing then.

"Hitch hates me because I drag her with me" Jean muses like it’s the best plan he’s ever thought of. My mind flies to my brother. Only he drags me to the mall and places to hang out with him. Especially during college.

"Well I feel her pain because my brother drags me places with him." I smile softly, my heart sinking at the thought of not seeing my family in so long.

"Aren't you the older brother?"

"Yea- but I love my brother and he doesn't see me that much.” And if I don’t get myself together- I may never see him except for a handful of times a year.

"Sounds about right" I can barely hear Jean say it but I manage to catch it. I quickly step to the side to avoid a patch of ice I see out of the corner of my eye.

“Watch out for ice.”

I am so focused on making sure that I don’t fall- I don’t keep an eye on Jean as I hope he heard me warn him. But lo and behold- I hear a stream of curses behind me.

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”

I stop and turn to see Jean laying on the ground flat on his back as he is still muttering under his breath. I don’t laugh because I’m sure that had to have hurt so I reach my hand out to him with a smile of sympathy. “Should’ve stayed home.”

“Should have driven.” Jean mutters as he brings his hands up to cover his face as he’s taking deep breaths to compose himself before he sits up to grasp my hand.

Driving in the snow wouldn’t be any safer than walking. “The car wouldn’t take the ice any better than you would.” I murmur as I brace myself to pull Jean up.

“I have a snow chain-” Jean falls forward into me when he loses his footing. “FUCK!” I instinctively wrap my arms around his back from under his arms to catch him but I can’t keep steady so I end up falling back into a pile of snow with Jean on top of me.

“Ouch-” I groan as I landed on my back wrong. “You okay.” I ask, leaning forward slightly so I am able to see Jean who has his face buried in my coat.

“Jesus christ- shit.. sorry.” He mutters as he nods his head against my chest. I tilt my head back to rest in the snow, trying to process all that happened. I laugh at the idea that we both ended up falling twice today.

“It’s okay. That was pretty funny.” My body makes no effort to move, to unwrap my arms from around him. My thoughts are telling me to move, to get up- _I just don’t want to though._ “You sure you’re alright?” I ask again.

“I’m good.. Are you good?”

I nod and smile. “I’m good.” Better than good actually. Better than great. Which should be the opposite reaction of your friend falling and you both end up on the ground with him laying on you. But it isn’t my reaction.

I hear the crunching sound of someone walking through the snow and I look up to see Ymir leaning over us. “So you’re fucking late and I get worried about you and I come out to find _this_??”

I can’t help but laugh, “Hey Ymir.” I feel Jean flinch and he rolls off me so I am finally able to sit up. Ymir cracks a grin and holds out her hand to me and I grab it to pull myself up. I then turn to Jean and hold out my hand to him. He takes it and I help him up but I feel Ymir staring daggers at the back of my head.

“Baby cousin- you could’ve told me you were having some _fun_ in the snow.” Rude and perverted. That’s Ymir. I’m used to her saying this type of stuff so I look away.

“Ymir shut it.” I mutter. I glance over at Jean as he laughs and I smile because I knew he would get her type of humor. He sticks his hand out to her.

“Hey Ymir. I’m Jean.”

Ymir narrows her eyes at me, taking a step closer to him as she ignores his outstretched hand. She can be terrifying- but she gets that way only cause she’s overprotective. Mainly of me and Historia. “........Who the hell are you?”

Of course I don’t want her scaring Jean so I intervene. “Ymir- this is my friend I told you about.” I add because they sure didn’t leave me any time to properly introduce them to each other.

“Clumsy friend.” Jean gives a small laugh, “Less fun in the snow and more falling.” Ymir scrunches up her nose at Jean and looks to me.

“Come on. You’re probably cold. Let’s go inside.” She says as she forces the time I want to spend with Jean apart. But I left Ymir outside for too long so I can’t exactly tell her no right now.

I shoot Jean an apologetic smile, “Sorry-... You okay getting home?” I ask because I’m just worried. And guilty for having him walk back alone.

“I’m fine.” He smiles at me. “Bye Marco. It was… nice… meeting you Ymir.” He nods his head sharply and turns to start walking away. I give a small nod as a bye, standing there for a few seconds just watching Jean before Ymir nudges me.

“I’m freezing my ass off.”

“Right- sorry.” I smile at her and we turn to walk up the street. “How was the drive down?” I ask.

She shrugs, “Alright. Pretty slow. It shouldn’t be too bad tomorrow if we leave early enough.” Her hand rests on my head as she ruffles my hair. “Are you going to be okay?”

I nod, “Yea. I have to be. I have to get better sometime or later.” I say softly and she pulls my head close to her, leaning her head against mine.

“So. He’s the one you told me about huh? Did you two fuck yet?” She asks casually.

I feel my face grow red and I shove her away. “No Ymir. He’s just my friend. That’s all I want him to be.”

“Marco Bodt you are the worst liar ever. To me and to yourself.”

“Don’t make me lock you outside.”

“You won’t do it. And I sure did feel a lot of ‘I want to fuck you’ vibe coming from you two laying on each other.” She raises her eyebrows at me in amusement because she knows that I know she’s right. We finally get to my apartment and I unlock the door. Tuff bounds across the room to greet us and Ymir scoops her up in her arms. 

“Well hello Tuff.” She hums, rubbing her nose against Tuff’s before she hands the ball of fur over to me. I rub my nose across Tuff’s head gently.

“I’m home sweetie.”

♫

Damn it Ymir. She hogged the bathroom as soon as we got inside to take a shower. She told me that it was my fault she was cold so my punishment was that she was going to use up all the hot water. Thankfully- she didn’t.

I sink back into the bath water, letting myself thaw out from the cold. I suddenly hear rapid successions of buzzing from my phone on the floor. I raise an eyebrow and dry my hands off before looking at the list of texts. From Jean, of course.

**_-image attachment of the sky-_ **

**_-the sky looks lovely... Glad I have this great view from the ground-_ **

**_-falling is great-_ **

**_-love ice-_ **

**_-winters fucking magical-_ **

**_-so much fucking fun-_ **

I laugh at the fact that he fell again on the way back but I’m not there to help him sadly. So I type back the best text I can manage.

_-oh my god Jean- please get home safe-_

**_-yeah yeah yeah I'm getting there... Slowly-_ **

**_-see you when when the holidays are over... Enjoy the lesbian state ;) -_ **

I smile because I want the holidays be to over with already. Because even though I don’t see Jean that much, the amount of time I want to spend with him isn’t enough.

_-I will. Have fun with Connie and Sasha-_

_**\- do you know this number?-** _

_**-attachment of a phone number-** _

I raise my eyebrow and read the number. “Ymir! Did you steal my phone!” I call and I hear her muffled denial from behind the door. Of course she would go and take Jean’s number from my phone.

_-Oh god I’m so sorry that’s Ymir just ignore her- she stole my phone for a few minutes-_

I stare at my phone for a long time, waiting for some kind of response. I start typing out ‘goodnight’ but I press delete to erase the message before setting my phone back down on the floor. _Goodnight Jean._


	9. Always Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time with family but Marco just wants to get back to Trost (and Jean).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who got their computer fixed just in time to finish writing this chapter and post on time. Anyways- No idea how this ended up being my longest chapter so far but hey- more for you guys to read. Enjoy!  
> -PencilOnly

**Monday. Nov. 24**

_I’m dreaming about the car wreck again. I just know it- but things are different.. something doesn’t add up._

_I’m laying on the pavement, drenched from the continuous rainfall. Why am I not stuck in the car? Why am I not passed out? I turn to look at my right arm- the lacerations and everything is there like it’s supposed to be. Nothing hurts though- it’s all just a dull numbness._

_I glance up and see someone on the ground out of the corner of my eye. No- no no no no. Please no-_

_Shakily, I get to my knees and shift closer to the body._

_Please no. Please-_

_I hover over the person- no.. not just some person- it’s Jean. Lying there motionless, blood pooling under his head._

_No no no no no he isn’t supposed to be here!_

_I lean over to place my ear against his chest and my own breathing stops as I listen for a heartbeat._

_Bu-bump._

_I let out the breath I was holding and cup the back of his head with my intact hand. I can’t tell if I’m crying or it’s just the rain on my face but I feel like I am. He isn’t supposed to be here. He’s- not supposed to get hurt._

_I bend over and rest my forehead against his, just sitting there- listening to the faint sound of his breathing. He’s alive. Thank god he is alive. I need him alive- I don’t care if it’s in my head I just need him alive at all times._

_I don’t know how long I stay there. It could be minutes… hours.. it feels like hours. Hours on end- till suddenly his breathing stops._

_My eyes grow wide. No- no no no! Don’t die!_

_“Jean!”_

“Marco! Wake up!”

My eyes fly open and I gasp- filling my oxygen deprived lungs. I take a few short quick breaths and comprehend where I am. Right- I am with Ymir.. we are driving to her house… I’m not in a car wreck.. Jean isn’t here- Jean should be at home back in Trost- safe.

I can feel Ymir’s hand gripping my knee. “Marco- are you alright?” she asks, her voice low, “Do I need to pull over?”

I shake my head no, “No- I- I’m okay.. just had another dream-”

“Another? Marco- are you still having dreams about the wreck?”

“I.. occasionally..” I glance down at my feet, “It’s not a big deal…”

“Marco.. do you need to go back to therapy sessions?”

“NO!” I snap- my hand flying to my mouth as soon as the word left, “God- Ymir I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay Marco- I’m sorry for asking-”

I reach to squeeze her hand that was resting on my knee, “I’m sorry..” I sound so pathetic right now, but I can barely gather my voice. “It’s just that.. mom.. always asks me that.. and.. I.. don’t.. can’t.. I can’t go back there.”

“Okay Marco.” I look over to see her smile and I smile softly back.

“Thanks Ymir..” I murmur- I know she has my back if anything starts up at Thanksgiving. “How much longer?”

“Oh.. about an hour. We are making good time.”

I  nod and pull out my phone. **No new messages**. My mind flashes back to the dream and my stomach drops as I open up my messages to Jean.

_-Are you okay?-_

I wait in silence for his reply. Please let it be just a dream. Please let him be okay. I don’t realize how hard I’m gripping my phone and I loosen my hands around it. I take a breath and look to the back seat to check on Tuff in her carrier. I smile softly at the sight of her sound asleep, curled up in the travel carrier.

My phone vibrating in my hands snaps me back to reality. My eyes scan the message quickly.

**_-.....yeah-_ **

_-Okay..-_

I don’t know what to say- I feel dumb for texting him that..

**_-Are you..?-_ **

_-mhhhmm..-_

_**-Liar.-** _

He’s right. I’m not ok. But as long as he’s okay-

_-Please don’t worry about it-_

_**-yeah yeah yeah freckles-** _

**_-come home safe okay-_ **

**_-to Trost I mean-_ **

My face pulls into a smile and I rest my forehead against my phone screen. It’s only a few days- then I’ll be back. Then things will be back to normal. To me feeling normal. Cause I know this Thanksgiving is going to kill me.

“You look like a love struck idiot.” Ymir snickers.

“I thought that was your job.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she scoffs at me.

“At least I get laid.” I literally don’t have anything to top that- but I still make a sad attempt because I don’t like to let her have the satisfaction of beating me. Even though she does.. all the time.

“At least I don’t live in Oregon.”

“At least I get laid.” She repeats and gives me a smirk, “Because having a sex life trumps all.”

I make a face and look away from her.More like being in a happy and healthy relationship with sex trumps all. But she has that- and I don’t. I never have. I don’t know if I ever will. I want to though. I want to wake up to someone next to me every morning and kiss them, make them happy whenever I want to. But I don’t… and I’m jealous of Ymir for that. I have to focus on my phone because I don’t want to forget to reply to Jean.

_-I will-_

_-Don’t get into any trouble-_

**_-No promises-_ **

_-Anyways, I should be back Friday.-_

**_-We should watch more 24-_ **

_-That would be great-_

**_-I’ll have brownies ready ;) -_ **

**_-and red solo cups-_ **

_-fine pony boy-_

**_-shut up-_ **

_-you can’t make me-_

That’s probably the safest comeback I can make since we aren’t exactly near each other right now or else he would probably nerf gun attack me or something. Or worse- No no no. I don’t need to think about that.

**_-We’ll see-_ **

_-I’m hours away-_

_- **stop being logical-**_

**_-I’m a teacher-_ **

Also probably the best comeback I am ever able to use against him. And it’s always for the same reason.

**_-yeah yeah yeah-_ **

_\- :)     -_

_**-Get back to your family Bodt-** _

_-I still got an hour before we arrive-_

**_-fun-_ **

Yea.. fun. I stare at my phone in silence for a few seconds.. I just feel like I’m bothering him now.. I don’t exactly want to stop texting him because I don’t have anything better to do and it’s relaxing, especially when I’m riding in this metal death trap.

_-well.. I’ll let you go then?-_

**_-I’m not doing anything-_ **

_-Well.. I don’t have anything interesting to say..-_

**_-everything you say is interesting-_ **

_- **I hope you can feel my eye roll from here-**_

I grin because I can picture him perfectly as he rolls his eyes- an image that has been burned into my mind.

_-oh? Is that what that small feeling in the wind was?-_

**_-oh yeah-_ **

_-I dunno man. You need to step up your game-_

**_-way to kill my dreams man-_ **

_-Sorry sorry.. I’m tired-_

**_-Go to sleep-_ **

I can’t. Not right now. I’m scared of what I’ll dream of. I can’t have Jean on the pavement again. I can’t bear to listen to his heart stop. I can’t

_-I just woke up-_

Just woke up from a nightmare.

**_-lame-_ **

**_-waking up sucks-_ **

_-So are you free from work for a few days at least?-_

**_-Not really-_ **

_-So does that mean you are going to sleep soon?-_

**_-In 2 hours-_ **

_-Oh, okay-_

**_-work sucks-_ **

_-it’s gonna get worse for me after I get back. Gotta start preparing for midterms-_

**_-Cancel the midterms-_ **

_-I wish-_

**_-The children would love you-_ **

_-The school wouldn’t though-_

I wait for a few minutes for a reply but nothing. He probably fell asleep. Which is good.

Leaning back in the seat, I exhale through my nose. I’m pathetic. I miss him. For once in my life I _don’t_ want to see my family. Except Ymir and Isaac. I miss them the most. Well- I miss my mom and dad but my mom worries over me too much and it makes me feel awful. But I can make it through these days. I have to make it back.

♬

I slip out of the car once Ymir stops the car in front of her house. It’s a small one story house with a big yard.

As soon as my feet hit the ground I hear a familiar voice practically scream my name. “MARCO!”

I turn to see my brother run out of the house, a big grin on his face as he latches his arms around my waist. “Took you fucking long enough to get here.” He sticks his tongue out at me.

I laugh and bring my hand up to rest on his head, “I know I know. I’m sorry.” I rest my chin on his head, which makes my stomach drop because he’s grown up so much since I left Jinae. Tears well up in my eyes and I move my arms to wrap around him as I return his hug. “I’ve missed you.” I murmur.

I feel his head nod against me, “Missed you too bro.”

I smile and he steps back to regain his teenager composure. He’s so moody. He’s always been. He tries to keep this tough exterior on but he’s such a baby around me. I bring my hand up to ruffle his hair and he practically hisses at me and backs away to fix his hair in frustration. 

I smile softly and watch him, my arms crossed. “You haven’t changed one bit. Except for growing up without me around.”

His face pulls into a pout, “Then come back home..”

I move to start getting my bag out of the back, “I can’t do that Isaac.. You know I can’t. I have a job.”

He starts taking one of the bags from me, “Well screw them.” He mutters.

I roll my eyes with a smile and grab Tuff in her carrier, “Isaac. Be polite.”

“To who?” He looks up at me.

“To whoever ‘them’ is.”

“Everyone.” He mutters and turns to head inside the house and I shake my head, following him inside, bracing myself for hugs and questions about my life in Trost.

♬

**Tuesday. Nov. 25 - 8 am**

Everyone else is asleep. Of course my work schedule has my internal clock set to early and I just automatically get up at 8 at the latest on the weekdays. So here I am sitting alone in the kitchen while everyone else is fast asleep. A warm cup of hot chocolate between my hands as I rest my elbows on the table. Like beer- coffee never agreed with me. Both are too bitter.

I hear footsteps behind me and I see my mom walking through the hallway- her hair pulled up and she apparently already got dressed. So much for me in my pj pants without a shirt.

I smile softly to her and she returns it. We both don’t say anything as she places a hand on my back and rubs it softly, taking great care around my scarred shoulder. “It’s good to see you again dear.” She speaks softly, carefully.

I tilt my head back to look at her, glancing to the side for a second. We got in a argument right before I left for Trost and I never apologized for what I said. “Mom- I’m so sorry..” I manage as my voice cracks.

♬

_“Marco- did you find a therapist in Trost to continue your sessions?” My mom looks at me expectantly. I know she’s trying to help me.._

_“I.. no.. I haven’t looked.” I state as I zip up my last suitcase._

_“Honey, You know the doctor said to continue them- they will help you on your recovery.”_

_I pause for a long time. How long has it been? One and a half years? No matter what she says- what they say.. I am not getting better. And continuously going back to talk over this with someone is not helping me.  “I don’t want to go back to one.”_

_“Marco.” I tense up from the seriousness in her voice._

_I turn around to face her- she’s so short compared to me. “I said.. I’m not going back to one.” I look to the ground past her, “I’m not getting better.. so just.. stop trying.”_

_“Marco.” She reaches out to place a hand on my arm but I step away from her, shaking my head._

_“Just stop… Just.. leave me alone.” I choke as I grab my last suitcase and walk out of the room past her._

♬

“It’s okay honey.” She plants a small kiss on my forehead. “But please, will you come to the doctor’s today? Just to get things checked over?”

I nod in defeat because I don’t want to fight against her while I’m here for these few days. She smiles softly and hugs me from here I sit.

**1 PM**

I’m sitting in the typical check up room at the hospital. Not a doctor’s office- a full on hospital because apparently my mom scheduled for me to get x-rays while I’m there. The doctor went through the usual- checked my breathing and heart rate, blood pressure.. along with testing how my shoulder moved and how high I could lift my arm.

I am taken to a back room to get my x-rays done, leaving my mom with my phone and everything else I brought. When I come back, we are looking over the x-ray of my arm- well.. they are. I’m trying not to pay attention because I’m here just cause mom wanted me to. I start scrolling through old messages to pass the time and there is one from Jean? Received 5 minutes ago. I raise an eyebrow and read over the message that my phone didn’t alert me about.

**_-Saw someone with freckles. Yours are better.-_ **

I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing and making a scene in front of my mom but my eyes widen at the sight of the message already responded to.

_-Hi! This is Marco’s mother. He’s getting x-rays done at the moment and can’t reply to your message but I’ll let him know you sent something-_

I quickly shut my phone off- completely off. I can’t believe she did that! It’s embarrassing for one, and two I don’t need Jean to know about my x-rays- or being at the hospital- or _anything_ related to my accident.

Once my mom was satisfied that everything was healed right and nothing more was broken, we were able to leave. “Oh! Marco you had a friend text you while you were getting your x-rays done.” She hums as we walk to the car.

“Mom..” I whine, “Why did you send something back?? I would have seen it on my phone.”

“I was just being polite.” She says as we get into the car and drive back home.

I bury my face in my hands and groan to myself. Why- just why?

♬

**Wed. Nov. 26.**

“Marco come oooooon.” Isaac pulls on my hand, “You said we could go bowling together.”

“Hold on Isaac I need to get ready.” I laugh as I free myself from his grip and put on a shirt, “What happened to being a cool and collected seventeen year old huh?” I smile as I engulf him in a hug.

“Jerk. I only get to see you a few times a year.” He mutters.

“Alright you baby. Come on.”

He grins at me and we walk to the nearby bowling lanes. About midway through the game, we take a break to eat some pizza. I hold up my phone to snap a picture of Isaac as he is in mid bite of his slice. “Hey! Stop taking pictures.” He grumbles.

I pout at him, “So I can’t have pictures of my baby brother on my phone for me to look at?”

He rolls his eyes, “Marco. If you are going to have pictures it needs to be both of us and I need to look cool as hell.” He raises his eyebrows with a grin and comes over to rest his head next to mine. I laugh and hold up my phone to take a selfie with us with both of us grinning. We both look like twins almost- well- a younger and older twin.

He pulls his seat up next to me as I am sending the selfie to Jean. “Who’s Jean?” He asks, leaning over to look at my texts.

“The brother of one of my students.” I state, looking over at him.

“So are you guys dating or what?”

“No Isaac. We aren’t.”

“Lame.” He mutters and looks over at my phone when Jean replies.

**_-Yo but can you rival this?-_ **

I laugh when I receive a selfie of him and Hitch. Isaac’s eyes widen, “Bro. Did he just initiate a sibling selfie challenge??”

“Isaac- no. Come on..”

“Isaac yes. You come on Marco. It was a clear challenge to our sibling authority and we must reclaim it.”

“No, how about I finish up kicking your butt in this game?” I say as I reply to Jean.

_-Yes. But right now I rather kick my brothers butt in bowling-_

I shut my phone off without waiting for a reply and we go back to playing our game. Of course I win- but not by far. Isaac has been getting better at playing and the game with Jean warmed me up again.

♬

**Thursday. Nov. 27 - 9 AM**

_-The war isn’t over yet blondie-_

This is the text I find on my phone when I wake up with a picture of Isaac taking a selfie with me passed out asleep in bed behind me. Damn it Isaac. I need to keep my phone hidden from him cause he is taking this game way too seriously.

Setting my phone aside on the bed I disappear into the bathroom to shower and get changed.

After twenty minutes, I return to my phone and notice it’s moved from the spot that I set it down earlier. I make a face and pause before picking it up and looking at my messages to Jean. I have a new message from Jean- my hand flies over my mouth to keep me from laughing. Hitch. Hitch and Isaac are in a sibling selfie war behind our backs. The picture she sent is like the one Isaac sent of me sleeping but Jean is behind Hitch asleep with makeup on his face.

_**-You’re on-** _

A new picture had been sent in response to Hitch’s selfie- Isaac flipping off the camera with me brushing my teeth in the background.

_-Game on-_

How?? How did he- This has got to stop. “Isaac!” I call as I head to the kitchen.

“Yes?” Isaac pops his head through the doorway to the living room.

I hold up my phone messages to show him, “Why?”

“I told you. Sibling dominance.” He grins.

I shake my head and go into the kitchen to help Ymir and my mom cook dinner.

**1 PM**

**_-Be prepared to have one less student-_ **

I laugh as I read the text from Jean, who I assume just woke up. I can’t exactly keep texting while I’m cooking, and no one is home to take over for me. So I pause my cooking and set my phone on the counter and press the call button.

_“Hey?”_ I hear Jean’s voice through the phone, sounding rough and cracked.

“Morning sleepy head.” I answer, smiling as I look over at the phone on the counter, “Sorry, I need my hands free for cooking so I figured I should call.” I apologize because I’m sure talking just after he got up is the last thing he wants to do.

_“It’s fine- I’m being lazy._ ” He says, _“I’m sending Hitch to a private boarding school in Antarctica for this shit.”_

I laugh, mixing some pumpkin pie batter in a bowl, “Oh come on. It’s kinda funny. Though I don’t know how Isaac has been getting ahold of my phone.”

_“Teenagers suck- I fucking woke up with eyeshadow on._ ” I can hear the mocking anger in his voice.

“I saw, really brings out your eyes there princess-” What the crap did I just say. I laugh softly- covering up my nervousness that Jean can’t even see.  His eyes are pretty though. I’m sure I can get lost just looking into them.

_“I can’t fucking believe you said that.”_ He laughs, _“I hope that Isaac gets ideas and you wake up with your own magical makeover.”_

“Hey, I’m only here for one more night. He can’t do too much more damage. At least not right now.” I smile sadly at the thought as I use a few rags to take the casserole pan out of the oven.

_“You come home- back tomorrow?”_ Is it weird I love the way he says ‘you come home’? The more I think on it- maybe. But in the moment I can only hum in agreement as a response.

_“Trost is really fucking boring- Connie and Sasha have the restaurant and you took a trip to the lesbian state so..”_ I hear his voice trail off. It sounds like he misses me- and I just want to say I miss you too.

My hands are moving without paying attention. “Don’t have any hobbies to keep you busy- Ouch!” I yelp as I yank my hand away from the pan that burnt the side of my hand. “Fucking.. Jesus Christ-” I mutter without thinking as I run my hand under cold water from the sink.

“ _Marco?! Are you okay!?”_ Jean’s voice is loud and worried over the phone.  

I pause for a minute then start laughing because I’m cooking, I honestly should be paying more attention. “Yeah yeah yeah. I’m fine.”

I hear a sigh of relief from Jean, _“What happened?”_

Smiling, I pick up a rag from the sink to clean up the counter. “I accidentally burnt my hand on the pan I just took out of the oven.”

_“Oven mitts. Use them_ ” Jean says and I roll my eyes.

“It’s the last one so I’m safe.”

_“What in the world are you even making?”_

“Casserole and pumpkin pie.” I say as I lean against the counter.

_“I miss food”_ I raise my eyebrow- I was just there for dinner not too long ago and Connie and Sasha made so much food it makes me sick thinking about it.

“Don’t you have leftovers?” I ask.

_“Me, Hitch, and Mina, ate all of them and then passed out in a food coma”_

“Oh my god Jean. You should have saved some for Thanksgiving.” I shake my head in disbelief even though no one is here to see me do it.

_“We are eating pizza”_

“How festive.” I mock, because pizza is totally the way to spend Thanksgiving.

_“Yeah because I’m downright jolly”_

“Right right.” I smile, closing my eyes, “Happy Thanksgiving though.” I say because I just need to tell him so. It’s automatic. But not mechanical.

_“You too... I should go.. Hitch wants me to take her out driving again”_

“Okay, be safe out there…. please.” I’m sure the please came out as a whine almost but I can’t help it. The dream flashes before my eyes and my breath catches in my throat.

_“Yes mom”_ Jean says laughing. “ _See you soon”_  I hum a ‘mhhhm’ to keep myself from saying something stupid.

“Bye.” I breath, reaching over to tap the end call with the tip of my finger. I sigh, tilting my head back, taking in the silence of the house.

**6 PM**

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Everyone, including me, chimes at the full dinner table that’s covered with food.

Time passes and we stuff our faces, or at least I wasn’t trying to because I want to actually be able to sleep peacefully tonight. So after a plate, a sit back in my chair sipping on the wine that Ymir brought out for the adults. I am an adult. I am able to drink alcohol. I have a job. I live by myself. I have keep reminding myself of that because it doesn’t seem true.

After a few hours of conversation and a few glasses of wine, I retreat to my bedroom. Probably not sober but I know I’m not full on drunk. I quickly change into my pj pants and lay back on my bed. Tuff, God love her she’s been preoccupied with so many people that she gets tired at the end of the day. I gently pick her up from the pillow and hold her to my chest as I lean against the headboard.

I look over at my phone. 9 PM. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to sleep. I’m too tired to go back and social. Jean is probably asleep.

Scratching at the side of my head, I bury my nose in Tuff’s fur. I don’t have my books, or any work to do. I don’t have my piano or my music. I just have Tuff, and my phone that’s the only connection to someone I have back at Trost. Jean.  I close my eyes and tilt my head back.

My phone buzzes from a new text message and I hold up my phone to read it.

**_-I meant to ask if you were okay.-_ **

**_-the xrays and what not-_ **

In the back of my mind I know I’m not sane enough to be texting or talking to anyone at the moment but I slide down into the pillows as I type back.

_-yeeah. I’mfine.-_

_-Mom just over worries-_

**_-Okay…-_ **

_-Yupp-_

**_-Yeah?-_ **

_-Jean-_

I don’t know where I’m going with this. My phone suddenly rings with Jean’s name popping up on the screen. I press the call button and hold the phone to my ear.

_“Marco?”_

I shouldn’t be talking to him right now. Because I laugh at my own name and lie on my side, “Polo.”

Jean laughs on the other line and it makes me smile, even though I’m starting to feel like crap and the wave of exhaustion is hitting me. _“Are you kidding me? Marco… are you drunk?”_

_Am I drunk?_ I just figure I am tipsy. I’ve never been full on drunk before and I’m sure two glasses of wine wouldn’t do that to me. “I’m not drunk Jean. I only had a few glasses of wine because Ymir.”

_“A few.”_ I hear him hum and I make a face because I know he’s making fun of me. _“Not drunk at all.”_

“Shut up.” I mumble into the pillow, “Don’t make me hang up.” I threaten.

“ _You wouldn’t hang up on me.”_

I close my eyes and run my free hand through my hair because he’s right. “I hate it when you’re right.”

“ _Wow.. so you hate me all the time?”_

“Nah man. Just some of the time.” I hum because who could really hate Jean all the time.

_“How do you feel about me the other times?”_ I have to literally pause and think over what I am going to say cause I could make this conversation way more awkward than I want it to be.

“You’re my best friend so I dunno.” There is a long pause on the other line and I wonder if it was wrong to call him my best friend. My mind is somewhat clear enough to think back a bit. We’ve really only known each other for a month- is it too soon to say he’s my best friend?

_“You should sleep Marco Polo”_

I scratch at Tuff’s ears as she’s curled up against my chest. “It’s too early to sleep. Tuff’s the only one who’s tired.”

_“It’s never too early to sleep- Tuff has the right idea”_

“Says the guy who sleeps in the middle of the day. Cause you have a messed up job that I hate.” Wait- did I just say that out loud.

_“You are very candid when you have a few glasses of wine”_ Honestly he has no idea what I keep my mouth shut about. I think I have very good self control on most things that need to be kept quiet.

“It was two.”

_“Lightweight”_ Jean snorts on the other line.

“I’m not drunk. And yes I am a lightweight. And beer tastes nasty.” I say because all three are true. And when I think of someone getting drunk my mind goes to beer. But I hate beer. Beer is terrible.

_“No one said anything about beer”_

“So?” My brows furrow, and I rub at my eyes.

_“Booze on the mind- if only I was there to see it”_

“Not much to see. I’m literally curled around a cat in bed.” I mutter because I’m a sad excuse for a fresh out of college adult.

_“How are you  so adorabl- How are you an adult?”_

“I ask myself that everyday.” I say as I close my eyes. Hell, I just asked myself that a few hours ago. I’m in the adult world- but I’m still not completely ready for it.  

_“Same”_ So I guess we are in the same boat. But this conversation is going no where- not that it was in the first place.

“How are Connie and Sasha?” I ask the most sane thing that comes to mind.

_“The fucking restaurant business is trying to smother them but I'm pretty sure Sasha and Connie will beat the shit out of anything that gets in their way.”_

“You give them my number yet?”

_“Sasha has it”_ Jean says “ _Good luck”_

“Tell her to text me tomorrow or something.” I say because I really want to take up their offer and go play piano at their restaurant. I literally just need to get in contact with them.

_“Will do... I put you in her phone as the pie rejecter”_ Unintentionally, I whine like a child at the thought of the ongoing joke.

“Why are you so mean.”

_“Yeah but I’m your best friend”_  That’s no excuse to be mean. He could’ve simply put my actual name as the contact. That would have been nice.

“But you’re mean. Like Ymir.” Ymir is so mean to me sometimes but she’s my cousin and I know she loves me.

_“Ymir fucking terrifies me man”_  Good. She terrifies me too.

“She’s like my second mom. I love her lots.” I smile softly. A yelp comes through the phone and a loud thump. My eyes open and I look to the phone. “Jean?” No answer. “You okay princess?”

I hear the muffled sound of movement, _“I’m not a princess… Jesus Christ.”_

“Are you okay Jean?” I ask softly, to make sure he’s actually alright.

_“I fucking fell off the couch.”_ I smile softly at the thought of us falling two times the last time I saw him.

“Sorry I’m not there to fail at catching you.”

_“It’s okay freckles.”_ My nose automatically scrunches up at the nickname and I don’t say anything for a minute. My eyes hurt and I’m getting tired, but I hate the thought of Jean working through the night.

“Can you not work tonight?” I open my mouth to say what I am thinking. In this case, I’m not bothered by it. Because his job bothers me too much.

_“I’ll be bored as hell”_

“Aren’t you always around one and two am anyways?”

_“Yeah which is why I text you pictures of cats and shit”_

“When I actually needed sleep.”

_“Whatever.. sleep is stupid”_ Jean says and his sentence is followed by a yawn.

“Liar. If I go to sleep, then will you?” I mutter into the phone.

_"How will I know if you go to sleep?"_

"Because I feel like I'm gonna pass out right now." I mumble truthfully.

_"Fine. I'm walking to bed now._ " He says and I hear movement on the other line.

"Promise?" I ask, because God my mind is out the window.

_"Yeah yeah. Sure."_

"You're lying." I say as I close my eyes since his response sounded sarcastic.

_"I would never lie to you."_ I highly doubt that because I could say the same except for lying about my past. Or at least not talking about it. My phone makes a noise to alert me that I am getting a FaceTime call. My brows furrow and I open one eye to accept the call, Jean smiles on the screen. _"See, look."_

"Okay, okay." I give in and smile, nuzzling my head against Tuff.

_"Tuff's cute."_

"She's my baby." I murmur, closing my eyes to just listen to Jean cause my eyes hurt and I don't have my glasses on.

_“Hitch really wants me to get a cat or a dog”_ Jean says as he shifts under his covers.

“Hmm.... Are you going to get one?” I ask. Tuff shifts away from me and lays down in front of my hand that's holding my phone.

_“Maybe- I’m allergic to cats but it’s not really a big deal so- maybe..”_ Oh- he's allergic..

"I'm sorry to hear that." I mumble into Tuff's fur and apparently Jean couldn't hear me cause he laughs.

_"All I hear is cat fur."_ He says and I hear a loud yawn.

"I said." I start as I rest my cheek on top of Tuff's back. "Go to bed."

_“I’m in bed”_

“Go to sleep.” I elaborate.

_"You go to sleep."_

"Okay. Fine.... Goodnight" I say giving in because I don't want to pass out with Jean on call.

_"Night. Get home safe."_ He hums.

“I will. Bye.”

_“Bye."_ I pause after his bye and realize he didn't end the call. I open one eye to still see Jean on the FaceTime. I give a small smile and press end call before burying my face in the pillows as I drift to a welcomed sleep.

♬

**Friday Nov. 28**

After the painful goodbyes and the long trip home, I'm settled back in my apartment with Tuff by 1 PM. Ymir had already turned around to drive back home to Historia.  I send a text to Jean to tell him that I've made it back to Trost okay before I go about the bedroom putting clothes back and doing a load of laundry. Tuff has disappeared to her usual hiding spots, we're both glad to be home.

My message ringtone goes off and I literally have to search to find my phone. Where did I set it last?? I stand in the middle of my room and wait for my phone to alert me again. I hear the beep and find my phone under my bed- how it got there I'll never know.

I figured Jean replied back to me but instead it's from an unknown number.

**_-Dude come hang out at the restaurant!-_ **

I stare at my phone hard- who did I give my number to recently? It sounds like something Jean might say but it's not him. Jean said Sasha had my number.. But I don't think she would text like this- so it has to be Connie. I think?

_-Connie??-_

My text back is to clarify cause it would be awkward as hell if this was a wrong number.

_**-oh shit yeah sorry I got ur number from horse face-** _

I smile softly from relief and save his name in my contacts.

_-I figured as much, I just didn't have your name saved in my phone-_

_**-but yeah. You should come hang out.... We are testing a new recipe-** _

The thought of more food makes my face scrunch in agony- I just got back from Thanksgiving.. I don't exactly need more food in me. But hanging out to waste some time does sound nice.

_-okay okay, give me 30 min and I'll be over-_

**_-sweet-_ **

It doesn't take me long to get ready and head out the door. The walk isn't as long to downtown but it takes me a few extra minutes to navigate through the streets to find it. I walk up the steps and push the door open to The Impastas, seeing Sasha at the front like last time.

"Freckles!" I internally cringe at the nickname but smile when she pulls me into a hug, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Hey Sasha" I return the greeting as I hug her back. "Are you guys going to address me as freckles forever?" I ask pulling away, hoping she would deny it  but instead she steps behind me and starts pushing me towards the kitchen.

"You're just so cute." I groan because that wasn't an answer to my question and pick up my feet so she no longer has to shove me.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" I ask as she strides next to me, fixing her ponytail in the process.

"It was kind of crazy- we took the day off the restaurant and drove to Connie’s parents. Tried to get Jean to come with us  but he’s all grumpy and whatnot." She hums.

Honestly Jean not going with them doesn't surprise me for some reason. I know he had pizza with Hitch- and was on call with me at some points but otherwise what he did for Thanksgiving was beyond me. But I can just imagine him lounging around the house all day in his pjs or something- eating pizza and watching a movie.

"I don't know if he was doing anything else other than eating pizza with Hitch."  I shrug softly.

"Yeah... Speaking of pizza though!! Mac and Cheese pizza." I raise an eyebrow at the thought of it- how does that even- "Babe is the pizza ready?” Sasha calls as Connie as he appears from a side room.

"Oh yeah!" Connie grins as he sees me, "Marco! Hey, you made it!"

I nod my head softly, still getting used to the fact that I only met these two once- but hey.. I guess I shouldn't be complaining. I like them. They are fun to hang around. And I need more people to hang out with outside of school other than Jean and Armin.

"Hey Connie." I return a greeting with a smile, looking thoughtfully at the two. "So... Mac and cheese pizza?" I question.

“Prepare your tastebuds” Connie says, pulling a pizza from a cooling rack above the oven. I feel my stomach drop at the sight of more food. I have to resist shying away from him.

"Okay- but I literally just got back from Thanksgiving-” I try and explain, cause I don't want the pie incident all over again.

“Don’t be weak Marco” Connie says with a devious look on his face. I scratch at the back of my head nervously, why is _not wanting to stuff myself full of food_ weak? I'm pretty sure Sasha can sense my unease because she tells Connie to shut up before slapping his arm with a wet dish rag.

“Eat how ever much you can manage Marco and don’t let him push you around.” She says backing out of  the kitchen and giving Connie a ‘I’ve got my eyes on you hand motion’. I just manage to give her a head nod before she disappears, leaving me alone with Connie.

I got to look awkward because I'm just standing there, not saying anything. "Here." Connie smiles at me, holding out a plate with a slice of pizza on it. I take it with a soft thank you before he continues. "So, how was your holidays?"

I lean against a counter, staring at the plate in my hands as I think over things. I wouldn't say great- but not horrible. So I settle on okay. I can say that right? Seeing my family was okay for most part? "It was okay. I got to see my little brother yet my cousin made me drink wine.. So it was okay."

“Family, man” Connie sighs before he takes a bite of the pizza. I guess he had about the same experience too? I'm not sure. But he understands what I'm getting at so that's good. I take a breath and decide to take a bite- to my surprise.. It's really good. It's like one of those things that don't sound good together but God- Mac and cheese pizza is something I never thought I'd enjoy.

"This is really _really_ good." I mumble with hum. I got to stop doubting what they make.

"Thank you." Is all that Connie says with a smile on his face. I look down at the half eaten slice of pizza, mulling over what to say.

"So anyways..." I start, deciding to talk about what I originally wanted to talk to them about in the first place, "I was wondering when you guys wanted me to come in and play." I say as I set my plate aside for the moment.

"In December." Connie says, “We are super excited to launch date night- you are welcome to bring your own date if you want- the blond guy right... Armin right?” He says, taking another bite of pizza.

I feel my cheeks burn from embarrassment and I bring my hands up to cover my face. Why. Why is it always the assumption that I'm dating someone. First Jean- now them?

"Not you too..." I choke out, "He wasn't my date.. We are co-workers and I'm lame and don't have a lot of friends so he invites me to places with him.." The truth of this stabs my in the heart because honestly I'm still scared. Scared of letting people actually _know_ me.

"Oh- Jean said-" Connie stops as I snap my head up to stare at him. Jean said what? I don't need Jean- of all people- to make assumptions about me. But Connie tries to steer the conversation elsewhere, "We are- uh- getting a grand piano in here... If that works for you."

I ignore the topic change for a minute because my mind is on overdrive. I told him at the dinner that it wasn't a date. I told him that Armin was my co worker. I could feel he didn't believe me and I was right. "I told him it wasn't. He should know that." I say, harder than I meant to and I run a hand through my hair in frustration because I don't know what to feel- how to feel about this. But I should drop the topic-

"uh.. Yea- actually that sounds perfect." I manage, calmly answering what Connie left off with.

“Awesome, yeah... Sasha found this crazy looking chrome grand piano that has flames on it- it’s sort of terribly ugly but it fits the theme” He says laughing. The image that he planted in my head just makes me internally shudder.

"Well- yea- I can still work with that. It's terrifying to think someone would decorate a piano like that- especially a grand piano- those are so hard to find anymore."

“Yup, American Horror Story: Crimes against Instruments” Connie says right as Sasha steps into the kitchen.

“My ears were burning- you guys talking about me?” Sasha asks, kissing Connie on the cheek.

“Only about how you’ve found the saddest piano in the world” He says, and I notice how he leans into her kiss. I can't help but smile softly at their tender affection.

"Nothing bad Sasha." I say reassuringly.

“Hon, did you tell Marco he could bring that blonde haired guy- Armin was it?- anyways... to the date nights” Sasha asks, looking to Connie. My eyes widen as the topic is resurfaced. Connie looks terrified and keeps glancing at Sasha.

My hands need to do something- anything. So I settle with rubbing the back of my neck, staring at my feet. "I can't go out with a friend without it being assumed I have a date?" I ask quietly, looking up at the two.

“No- no. It’s nothing Marco. Seriously, don’t worry about it. Eat more pizza!” Sasha says, and I can hear the quick franticness in her voice. It's like back at home- avoid the topic cause Marco just walked into the room.

"If I'm going to get talked about behind my back over something like this then yes I'm going to worry." I say, hating the way I hear my voice cracking because I want to cry right now. I'm not thinking straight because my thoughts are a whirlpool in my brain.

“Oh Marco, shit I’m so sorry. Really it’s our faults, we pushed Jean about who you were with that night and he didn’t want to talk about it so we figured it was your boyfriend.” Sasha says, trying to be calm.

“Really- we shouldn’t have assumed- it’s just Jean's so into you and so we figured since he was so against saying anything about it, it was because he was jealous.” Connie says then he yelps from Sasha jabbing him in the ribs.

I look to the ground, taking a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts but it's failing. I can't stop myself from saying the wrong things- "Well- for your best interest.. Armin is in his own relationship-" I should stop here- I want to stop here, "And Jean shouldn't stick his nose in people's business- especially someone who practically doesn't have any friends around here." I say softly with a feeling of someone punching my gut because I immediately regret ever saying anything. Why can't I keep my mouth shut and just let things go??

“Connie can you go do something, that isn’t standing here and messing things up.” Sasha says, giving him a pointed look. Connie hangs his head and walks out of the kitchen looking like a kicked puppy dog. The second that Connie disappears, I don't want to be here alone with Sasha.

“Marco listen- you shouldn’t be mad at Jean. He isn't complaining, he’s not trying to be in your business. It was really us prying.” She says to me and I open my mouth to say something but she gives me a look to shut up before she starts again

“Listen- I haven’t known Jean for a long time- but he doesn’t have friends here, if anything he has more people that make his life miserable than anything. He has four people here, Hitch, Connie, when he isn’t being a dumbass, me and you so..” She trails off and re-ties her ponytail.

I feel sick. I feel guilty. I should just leave. Leave Trost- leave Jean because I shouldn't be the one to think these things about him. I should know. He has mentioned his parents before, I have an idea what his job is like. We both have crappy lives. And I'm a shitty person for thinking I'm alone in this. I run both my hands through my hair. "Right- I'm sorry..." I choke out. "Please... Don't tell him I said any of this...." I murmur, practically begging her.

“Secrets safe with me freckles. Now I’m going to talk to my idiot of a boyfriend real quick  but I want you to eat this pizza, have a glass of wine and stay here.”  She says, smiling softly at me.

"Fine- but no wine.. That already ruined me over thanksgiving." I mumble at the thought of waking up this morning with a headache wasn't pleasant.

“One of these days Freckles, one of these days.” She says grinning before she disappears, leaving me alone to myself and my thoughts. Jean I'm so so sorry. I repeat over and over in my head because I can't tear my mind away from him. Somehow what Connie said before resurfaces in my mind, _Jean's so into you- we figured because he was jealous._

I hear myself sigh as I pick up the slice I abandoned before to finish it off. I don't know what to think or how to feel anymore. Jean is very important to me- he's made me love living in Trost because I actually have people to see- someone to text me at the most inopportune times, to make me fall more than once in a day. He's my best friend- and even if I wanted to date someone right now- could I do it?

“So, your vote? Pizza on the menu or not?” Sasha rips me away from my thoughts when she returns to the kitchen. I can't gather my words fast enough so I just nod to her as a yes.

“Good, we made extras, so you should take a few home with you. You can freeze them” She smiles brightly at me like she's planned this all along.

I open my mouth to complain but stop short- I've made enough trouble today, and she won't let this go- so I have to give in. "I- okay, okay. I can take some with me for lunches." My face pulls into a pout. "Now- back to your guys' idea for date nights. On what day?"

“Fridays work best” Sasha says before adding “Second Friday of each month to start” I nod because I can work with that.

"I can come over straight from work, since I'm sure my school outfit would work well anyways." I say, since wearing a shirt and tie does give off a date night apparel aura.

“I'm so excited!” Sasha practically squeals and it brings a smile to my face.

"Do we want to get a song list together? Then maybe let customers start requesting songs for the next time?" I suggest, cause the customers should be able to listen to what they want.

“Sounds great!” Sasha says. “Why don't you give me a list of songs you can play and I'll have customers vote on the bill and we’ll put everything together from that." I fight the urge to laugh because I've been playing the piano since my high school years- then focusing on it throughout college.

"But Sash- that will be an awful long list." I laugh softly, "I think it's just easier for you to pick a few songs because I can learn them easily." I offer, trying to make a point.

“Alright” Sasha says laughing. “I forgot I was dealing with a master of piano” She adds on, nudging my side.

I roll my eyes, "Far from a master Sasha. It's only 6 years of college." I smile, "Piano was my favorite of the instruments I learned how to play." Also one of the ones that I am still able to play.

“Well I kick butt at the triangle so maybe we can duet sometime” Sasha grins.

I laugh softly, "No that's okay Sasha, I would want you and Connie to enjoy it just as much as the customers as well."

“I tried” Sasha says laughing and walking over to the walk-in, dissapearing for a few seconds before re emerging with three pizzas wrapped in plastic wrap. She grins and holds them out to me. I smile softly and take them from her when she walks back over to me.

“Thanks Sasha." I murmur softly.

“Oh and Marco, you have to come to Taco night, December 14th.” She says “We are closing the restaurant and everything.” I shake my head with a smile because it's always food with them.

"Oookay." My shoulders shrug a little, "Whatever you want Sasha." I hum.

“Thats what I like to hear” She says. I look to the side at the clock hanging on the wall. 5- I've been here for about two hours, which it doesn’t feel like it.. feels like I’ve been here for 30 minutes.

"I should probably be heading back home soon."

“Fine” Sasha says smiling and rolling her eyes. “Take your pizzas and get rest and don’t be mad at Jean” I smile and lean down to kiss her cheek gently as a thank you.

"I'm not mad." _I could never be for long_. "Just stressed from Thanksgiving."

“Get rest freckles” She says, wrapping her arms around my waist. I murmur in agreement as I wrap my free arm around her, tugging her close for a few seconds before I let go. She walks with me to the exit, and I say my goodbyes to Connie as he's cleaning up.

"Get home safe Marco." Sasha smiles and pats my back before I nod and leave. Time to get home and get my life back together again. To get myself back together again. Or at least that's what I am wanting to do till my phone rings with a new message.

_**-Want to hang out-** _

I stare at the text Jean sent me, yes I want to hang out but the thought of me nearly turning on him back in the restaurant makes me hesitate.

_-Sure… I’m just now leaving Connie and Sasha’s-_

**_-I’m really close to there, want to go to dinner somewhere? Theres a place that Connie and Sash wanted me to scope out-_ **

Oh dear lord there’s the mention of food again. Even hearing about it makes me sick. Hell- I have three frozen pizzas in my arms right now. Which makes texting back difficult. But hey, I’ll still go with him.

_-Im not hungry but I’ll still come with you-_

**_-I can just eat leftovers... Ill save it for another day-_ **

**_-we can hang at my place, if you want. I’ll pick you up-_ **

I smile because I can tell him he can actually pick me up this time. It feels like an accomplishment. That I can tell him yes instead of my usual no to his ride offerings.

_-Alright, I’ll be sitting outside then-_

I take a seat on the curb, only sitting there for a few minutes before Jean pulls up alongside the restaurant. I stand up as he rolls down his window to wave. “Long time no see freckles.” He laughs at me and I smile widely at the sight of it. But I roll my eyes at the nickname, no longer fighting it as I get in the passenger seat.

“It’s been three days- barely. and at least you don’t greet me the way Ymir does when we are going somewhere.” I laugh as I buckle my seatbelt at the image of Ymir yelling ‘get in the car bitches, we are going shopping.’

“Ymir will always scare me” Jean states as he pulls away from the curb.

“She still scares me. But it’s just her.” He smiles softly, she has terrified me for all my life but she is also the person who supports me the most. “So how were things with you over Thanksgiving?” I ask because I literally talked to him at the start and the tail end of the day.

Jean lets out a small laugh. “Nothing went according to plan. Hitch came home early, with her friend, so I had two teenagers in house, and then my mother showed up. She wasn’t drunk but she managed to divulge all the details of both her’s and my father’s affairs to me over pizza, brownies and stir fry.”

I watch him for a minute, probably too long without making things awkwardly silent. Jean never really brings up his parents to this extent in a conversation- not since the second time we met but that was different. I want help him- I want to talk about it but I get the drift that he’s like me on issues- just avoiding talking about them. Avoid it all together. So that’s why I do- because I don’t know what else to do.

“You should have come with me then, cause we had real Thanksgiving food that honestly I don’t know how we finished it all that night.” I say, because god- Ymir and Isaac have bottomless stomachs.

“And I bet Connie and Sasha made you eat food at the restaurant too. I see they sent you home with pizzas too” Jean says smiling and the car slows to a stop at a four way intersection. I have to remind myself how to breath. This isn’t a stoplight. This isn’t back in Jinae. This is in Trost, with Jean.

“Yeah, I owe them so I took these without a fight.” I say, because I really did make too much trouble in that short amount of time that I wish didn’t happen.

“I learned to stop fighting them because they will break into your house and just leave the food there if you don’t” Jean says as the car moves again. I just laugh softly because I can’t put it past Connie and Sasha.

“I can see that.” I smile and glance over at him, “So- can we agree to never bring up selfie wars around the siblings ever again?”

“Yes. Please. Even if I did get my new contact photo for you from it” Jean says laughing. That jerk. I wonder which photo he used. But hey- that gives me ideas for what I can use his makeup picture for.

“Though you started it with the selfie you sent back. And thanks for the idea because you with makeup popping up on my phone will amuse me.” I hum as I change his contact picture to said selfie.

“I hate you” Jean says pouting. His pout makes me smile and I just hum as I lean back in my chair.

“Just a heads up I probably won’t see you most of the month of December ‘cause of work.” I say so he doesn’t get all sad if I don’t see him for over a week.

“I take it back” Jean frowns and I have to register what he means before I smile.  

“That you hate me?” I muse and he nods a yes to me in response.

I hum, “That still won’t change my work schedule though.” I say because I’m sure he thought I was saying that to get back at him.

“Really lame.” Jean says. “Oh but I’ll be at Sash and Connie’s date nights helping out and then Taco night of course” I laugh because I just had Taco night sprung on me.

“I figured. Which is why I said most of December.”

“Stop being logical” Jean replies, rolling his eyes. There he goes again, I open my mouth to give my usual response but I just can’t- I just laugh.

“You should know my answer to that by now Jean.”

“Yeah yeah yeah something about being a teacher” Jean poorly mimics my voice and I just roll my eyes with a smile, holding in my laugh.

“Whatever.”

“How was your family?” He asks after a few moments, which catches me off guard.

“Good-” It’s mixed feelings about everything so I just shrug my shoulders, “Everyone doing well..”

“How are you doing?” Jean asks, his voice low and soft as if he’s being cautious about asking me. It could be because of multiple things- like my mother slipping up about my x-rays for example. How am I really doing? I’m doing better. I mean.. I’m home, but I don’t want him to bring up the medical stuff. So I avoid- I lie straight through my teeth _again._

“I’m doing fine Jean.” I smile, giving the best reassuring smile I can but he just nods his head in silence as he pulls into the driveway and parks. I don’t know what possessed me to ask, but I open my mouth anyways.

“Why?” I ask, getting the door open so Jean doesn’t have to lean over me. I set the pizzas on the seat in my place and close the door. Jean smiles at me over the top of the car when he gets out.

“Because you’re my best friend. At least that ‘s what you called me when you were being a lightweight last night” he laughs. My nose scrunches up at the mention of the not so proud night where I ended up on call with Jean not exactly as sober as I wanted to be.

“Look, I wasn’t drunk so I meant what I said, you are my best friend, along with Armin.” Okay maybe it wasn’t the best idea to add Armin in on that list.

“Well you are my best friend along with Connie and Sasha” Jean smiles heading towards the house. “Now lets get out of the fucking cold” he says pulling his hood up over his head. I smile because honestly- nothings changed. Which makes it sound like I’ve been gone for years but coming back to a normality of seeing Jean being a baby about the cold.

“I can’t outrank those two though.” I say as we step inside the house, Jean closing the door behind me.

“I bought Hitch a car today” Jean says, hanging up his coat by the door and turning to crank up the thermostat. So that’s where he was before picking me up. I follow suit and shed my coat to hang up as well.

“That’s right, she’s learning how to drive.”

“I’ve been teaching her. I sort of want to burn her license and take back her car though”

“Why’s that?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.

“Because I worry about her without her being behind the wheel of a two thousand pound vehicle” Jean says. “But she’s actually a good driver and I can’t stop her from having a life because I’m scared of her driving a car” I smile softly because he’s worrying like any other parent should.

“Trust her.. but just let her know that even if she is a good driver.. not everyone else is.” Shoot- that came out wrong. That’s not what I wanted to say- way to ruin my main point.. I could hit my head against a wall right now.

“Yeah.. You want something to drink?” he asks heading towards the kitchen and I follow after him after composing my thoughts.

“Ill just grab a water bottle.” I say.

“I have special red solo cups just for you though” Jean jokes, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer for himself and a bottle of water. I sigh, I gotta learn to accept that this joke will never end. I reach out to take the bottle from his hand.

“I bet you do. But thanks.” Jean and I walk out of the kitchen to the living room and Jean plops down on the couch, holding onto his beer as he toes his socks off before crossing his legs under himself. I automatically take a seat on the arm of the couch, because it’s where I always sit, no matter where I am.

Jean just sips at his beer and I watch him for a few seconds. Silence. It’s an awkward silence. Which gives my brain time to think about things. My thoughts go back to Jean talking about his family. The topic that I chose to avoid. I take a breath, leaning forward, my gaze not ripping away from watching him. “Do.. you need to talk more about your parents?” I ask after gathering enough courage.  

“Um..” Jean says setting his beer down on the floor and looking around the room and I realize my mistake. I stiffen because he looks like he wants to run. But I don’t want that-

“I- look if you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay but.. I’m here to listen because you did say a bit back in the car..” I stumble over my words trying to fix my mistake of being straightforward with the wrong type of question.

“No- its- Sorry I wasn’t expecting that. It’s fine.” Jean says relaxing a little bit which makes me relax because I don’t need him to be stressed around me. “They are just really messed up people who are really shitty parents and I didn’t have to deal with them for a long time until I realized that if I wasn’t dealing with them then Hitch would have to deal with all their shit.”

I smile softly because he proved himself without knowing it.. he proved to grow up and not be like his parents and the way they treated each other.  “And that’s where you proved not to be raised like them-”

I pause, trying to gather my words, my mind flashing back to the awkward dinner at the Italian restaurant.  “Cause- well.. You came back for your sister, if that’s not selfless then I don’t know what is. I still remember when we met for the second time at the italian restaurant, and you said you thought both of you were mistakes. And i’ll tell you again- you aren’t.”

I smile reassuringly and I watch Jean take a shaky breath as he runs a hand through his hair. “Thanks Marco.” He breathes. I can’t help myself and I’m using the excuse that we are best friends to dismiss the fact that I get up from my spot and walk over to him just to lean down and wrap my arms around him in a hug. I’m not wanting to make things awkward- I just want to be a friend.

“I’m here for you and Hitch, okay?” I say softly, a smile tugging at my lips when he returns the hug, leaning into my hold and it feels perfect before he pulls back. He flashes his usual smile and raises an eyebrow at me.

“No homo, right?” He says with a smirk and I fully straighten back up with a laugh.

“No homo.” I say with a smile before grabbing my water bottle to tap the side of Jean’s arm with it playfully.

“No homo and the declaration of best friend-ness, it’s like I’m in middle school all over again.” Jean says and I roll my eyes.

“Mentioning middle school- way to kill the mood there Jean.” I muse. Wayt to mention any schooling before college to kill a heartfelt best friend mood.

“I didn't know we were in a mood Marco” Jean says in a purposefully antagonizing tone.  

“We weren’t. But still mentioning middle school though?” I raise an eyebrow with a smile.

“Hey I could really scar you and tell you how I had a crush on Connie when I was in middle school for like a week” Jean says laughing. “That ended poorly”

“Ah yes. Idiotic crushes, all that fun stuff.” I shake my head, idiotic crushes that never happened, and all that fun stuff was the bullies who loved to pick on me for my freckles. I move to sit back down on the arm of the couch but Jean grabs at my wrist, pulling me down to sit next to him.

“Will you stop being a weirdo and sit on the couch.” Jean grins at me and I huff, shifting to get comfortable.

“I’m not weird.. it’s just where I usually sit because I move around so much.”

“Whatever” Jean says, moving all the way to the other end of the couch so he can sit with his back leaning against the armrest, facing me now.

“You should probably help Sasha and Connie out with the date night song list.” I state after he gets situated again.

“Yes date night... yeah I’ll talk to Sasha about the songs when i see them later this week. I’m making brownies for them again. I think they more than anything just want me to come to date night so that they can try and set me up” Jean says rolling his eyes. To be honest I don’t like the sound of Jean dating someone- which is selfish because I’m sure he’s dated more people than I have.  

“Mm I’m sure they would try and do the same with me if I wasn’t working it…” I admit, knowing Connie and Sasha. And speaking of dating.. I hate to bring it up but the idea of me dating Armin needs to be terminated. I glance to the ground, “Jean?” I say, to get his attention.

“Marco?” Jean asks.

I take a deep breath, my voice soft. “Please trust me on this… okay? I’m not dating Armin.” I say, looking over at him.

“Okay” Jean nods. “It doesn’t matter who you’re dating… But yeah, I believe that you aren’t dating Armin” I watch his expression and give a soft smile. Okay- so let’s keep it that way. But I’m sure it would matter to him who I’m dating.. and it would probably matter to me about him as well.

“Or at least now you do.” I say softly, shrugging, “But okay. Thanks.”

“What did Sasha and Connie say to you?” Jean asks bringing his hand up to rub his temple. Shoot- I don’t exactly want to rat them out on being the ones to bring this up.

“Nothing really. Just that everyone is under the impression that I was.” Everyone being Jean, Connie, and Sasha.

“Well they are fucking idiots sometime.” He mutters.  

“We are all idiots sometimes.” I say because I have my moments of being a complete and total idiot.

“I need that as one of those motivational paintings people hang in their homes” Jean snorts, which makes me laugh at the thought of him having motivational posters of kittens and puppies all over his office.

“Im sure you could find a poster if you reaaaaally wanted one.” I hum.

“I’ll  have Mina paint me one” Jean laughs. “Hitch’s friends kicked our asses this weekend in monopoly and pictionary.”

“She’s in Hitch’s grade, right?” I ask because her name is really familiar because I see painting in the hallway with her name on them, “I don’t have her in music classes because she’s a pretty impressive artist.”

“Yeah, she’s also way too sweet compared to Hitch.”

“Hitch just has her own way of being ‘sweet’” I say, trying to make a point.

“You can say that again. Speaking of teenagers with their own ways of being sweet. Isaac and Hitch together are a scary combination.” That is true.

“Oh god please don’t remind me. I think they are literally the same person just two different genders. It’s scary to think about.”

“They should never meet” Jean laughs.

“Agreed.” I chuckle and stand up, patting Jean’s foot as I move, “Well. I should get back home to Tuff.”

“Your cats got you so whipped man” Jean says jokingly. “Can I drive you?”

“I owe her my life, so it’s the least I can do.” I say rolling my eyes because I would be a wreck without Tuff. Actually I don’t want to imagine how my recovery would go without her. I look over at Jean with a smile because there he goes offering again, “Yes, you can.” I hum proudly, trying not to laugh because Jean looks surprised. But he just smiles and gets off the couch to grab his coat and shoes and I follow suit, putting my coat back on.

“Plus my pizzas are in your car.” I tack on, trying to be funny.

“So really it’s for the pizzas... not to spend time with your best friend” Jean says grinning.

“Shut up. If I didn’t want to hang out with you I would have turned you down and been home by now.” I say as we leave the house and get into the car.

“Again, too much logic” Jean says, getting into the drivers seat.

“I’ll stop being logical when I’m dead.” Which is a very ironic thing for me to say.. it’s messed up.

“How very melodramatic” He laughs and buckling his seatbelt before starting the car.

I roll my eyes at him as I buckle my seatbelt, situating the pizzas on my lap. Jean turns on the radio before he pulls out of the driveway. He hums along to the song and I close my eyes to listen to him because even though I haven’t heard him try to sing before- his hum is soothing. Of course my fingers tap to an invisible piano unconsciously.

I open my eyes after a few moments when he pulls onto the road that my apartment is on. “It’s the apartment complex up ahead on the right.” I say and Jean just hums in acknowledgment as he pulls into the parking lot. When the car comes to a stop, I get the door open and pause, looking over at him. “Thanks.” I smile.

“Night... tell Tuff I say hi” Jean smiles back at me and I nod.

“I will… Night Jean.” I hum before closing the door after the pizza boxes are in hand. I don’t look back at the car because I need to get up the apartment stairs without wiping out like an idiot. I hear the car pull away in the snow and I manage to unlock my door without dropping anything.

I’m back home. Back in Trost. Just the way I like it.

 


	10. Skinny Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Jean go on a 'date'   
> Marco is left realizing he needs Jean more than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy Jean and Marco being awkward with each other <3   
> I'll be on a roll doodling more art for the fic most likely   
> but anyways, see you all at the next update!  
> -PencilOnly

** Saturday, November 29 **

**1PM**

The sound of my phone across the room at its charger pulls me away from eating the pizza Sasha gave me. Which I'm thankful they gave me because it's easy to heat up for lunches. I take a quick bite and get up from the couch to stride across the room to check my texts. It's from Jean, which doesn't surprise me anymore.

**_-A client gave me tickets to the symphony that is in town.... Do you want to go?-_ **

My eyes widen because I haven't been to one of those since middle of college. They were the best class trips to go to, not exactly the cheapest but the best. For him to get tickets for free- wait- when is it? I really want to go but school starts back up and-

_-When?-_

_**-It's tomorrow night..-** _

_**-I know it's short notice-** _

He says that like a short notice would stop me if I don't have any plans. Well- I guess when he asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him and I turned him down cause I had plans with Armin- no. No I don't need to get wound up about that _again_. Plus I could use one last relaxing night before I dive back into the school year till Christmas.

_-no it's okay. I could use one good night before school starts back up-_

**_-awesome-_ **

**_-it's not supposed to be the frozen hell scape that Trost usually is so we can walk if you want-_ **

I smile because any gestures like this- especially from Jean makes my heart swell. But honestly, we could drive- I survived the car ride with Ymir, I can ride with Jean around Trost more without freaking out. I know I can- but walking has become the preference of mine.

_-that would be great. Mostly for you-_

_-with the cold and all-_

I text the second message just to tease him now. Cause what are friends for- right? He does it to me all the time so I can too.

**_-yeah yeah yeah freckles-_ **

**_-also apparently it's "formal" attire-_ **

It's a symphony, I sure hope it's formal attire. He sounds like this is a shock to him. Thank god half my closet is formal, or at least semi formal.

_-no problem for me. Considering I am always wearing formal-_

I pause because Jean wearing formal clothes pops into my mind. He's got to look handsome- although I'm not sure what he would do with his hair, slicking it back is a weird image in my head. I'll just find out tomorrow.

_-hey, I get to see you dress nice for once-_

_-how 'formal' is it?-_

Because there can be semi-formal like what I wear or full out formal.

**_-I always look nice!-_ **

**_-And I’m wearing a suit I guess-_ **

I internally groan because I’m not too fond of full on formal. But at least I have the outfit for it.

_-So full on formal-_

_-And I’m sure you do Jean-_

_**-Damn right I do-** _

I laugh softly to myself because it’s just… Jean. It’s just something he would say. I could stand here and argue presentation but I’ll just let him keep thinking that. Time would probably be a good thing to know.

_-So what time?-_

_**-Starts at 7.. so I’ll meet you at 6:15?-** _

_-Sounds good-_

_**-Meet in front of Connie and Sasha’s?-** _

_-Can do-_

I figure since Connie and Sasha’s is a bit of a walk, I’ll just hang out there a little and change before Jean arrives.

_**-See you tomorrow then?-** _

-Mhhhm see you.-

I smile brightly and unplug my phone from the charger before I return to the couch to finish off my lunch with Tuff as we watch The Aristocats. Old movie but one of my favorite movies. I send a quick text to Connie to give them a heads up because- well it’s polite. I hate dropping in on places without a warning.

_-Hey I’m gonna hang out for an hour before I meet up with Jean at the restaurant tomorrow.. that okay?-_

It takes a few minutes but I get a stream of replies from Connie all in a row.

_**-of course-** _

_**-We have had a lack of freckles lately-** _

_**-Sasha says she needs some eye candy-** _

I can feel my face grow red because I’m pretty sure I’m no where near being eye candy. But they sure know how to push my buttons-

_-Oh my god you saw me yesterday-_

**_-Hey, her words. Not mine.-_ **

I roll my eyes because Sasha. She already called me cute once, I don’t need her calling me eye candy.

_-Tell her to text me. I don’t have her number-_

_**???: -Heyyyyyy my freckles love!-** _

I laugh and save Sasha’s number in my phone, finally having Jean’s, hers and Connie’s.

_-Sasha, Connie should be your eye candy not me-_

_**-yeah yeah yeah whateves. Come over tomorrow! I’ll have pie ;) -** _

_-Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow.-_

♬

**Sunday. November 30, 5:30 PM**

While The Impastas is farther away than the school, I memorized the route I need to walk. Even though it takes me twenty minutes, it feels short. But Jean was right though, the weather is better today. Some of the ice from before had melted and it is slightly warmer with no bitter winds biting at my face. So I'm able to get away with a long sleeved shirt and a light jacket with my jeans.

Adjusting the bag on my shoulder that contains my change of clothes for the symphony, I push the door open and head inside the restaurant when I arrive. They are always upgrading the place and I can see why the piano Connie mentioned would fit in here. I don't get a lot of time to try and pinpoint the new things because my name is shouted across the room.

“Marco!” Sasha calls to me through the busy noises of the restaurant as she glides over to me wearing roller skates. Well- that’s new. Hitch is trailing along behind her, so my best guess is Connie and Sasha let her have a job here. I give a small smile and nod to them both. If anything, it’s probably time to stop being so awkward seeing Hitch outside of school. If I plan to hang out with Jean as long as I am here in Trost, might as well treat Hitch like a little sister.

“Please don’t hurt yourself Sasha- Do you need any help?” I ask, glancing around at all the customers. I’ve never seen the place so busy before, which is great for them.

“Heyyy Mr. B.” Hitch hums as she twirls around on her own set of skates while balancing a tray of milkshakes with grace that I didn’t expect her to have. “How are you?”

I roll my eyes at her shortening my last name. “I’m fine. Also- Hitch, just to stop making things awkward, call me Marco so I don’t have mini heart attacks from you calling me Mr. Bodt outside of school.”

“Right. Okay Marky Marc.” She winks with this smirk of accomplishment on her face before she rolls away. I tried. But I should have known something would backfire on me. I mean- it’s Hitch. It’s just her thing. Sasha throws a pointed look in Hitch’s direction.

“Sorry- She’s sweet but she has an interesting way of showing it.” She laughs and I just shake my head with a smile because I know what she’s getting at.

“I know I know. She’s in my class so I get that.” I lean down to kiss her cheek in greeting because it’s become an automatic thing with Sasha, along with hugs. “Do you need any help though. I got thirty minutes before I need to get changed.”

“Naw just sit down and chill out.” She gestures over to the bar. “I gotta grab a table but I’ll swing by in a sec.”

“Alright alright.” I give in and smile, turning to walk over to the bar after she rolls away. I set my bag down at my feet and lean forward, my arms resting on the counter. I look up to see Hitch rolling up to the counter with this smug look on her face.

“Hi, welcome to The Impastas, where its impasta-able not to love our food. My name is Hitch, can I get you anything to start off with?” Her mouth curls into a smirk after she finishes reciting her greeting. She’s a good actor, which is what I found out when we did the play before. I break out a smile and just roll along with it.

“I’ll just have a water, Hitch.” I say, matching the faux politeness tone in her voice.

“Boring. You want a milkshake.” Ah yes, there’s the regular Hitch.

“No. I don’t.” I raise my eyebrow at her, “That’s very poor service.”

She rolls her eyes with a huff, “Okay, what about a water with a lemon.”

“Just a plain old water.” I laugh softly.

“Fine. Make my job easy.” She says as she skates away backwards. I just hum, because I’m sure she’s not complaining.

I end up scrolling through my pictures, looking at the multiple selfies Isaac took over the Thanksgiving. Hitch returns a few minutes later and sets a water with a napkin down in front of me. I thank her before she rolls away to attend to other customers.

“Water I see. Really trying out the menu.”

I turn around to see Sasha rolling up as she teases me about my boring choice of drink. I just smile at her.

“Hitch already gave me crap about it.” I say, rolling my eyes, “I’m just hanging out Sash, not ordering anything.”

“You pain me.” Sasha says dramatically as she clutches her hands to her heart. “I could bring you out some crayons to color with if you want.” She grins and nudges her elbow into my side.

I laugh softly, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Go back to work.” She laughs and pokes my nose before I release her.

“I’m going I’m going.” She hums as she skates away. I watch her leave and shake my head before turning back around in my chair, taking the glass of water in my hands.

I sit there in silence for I don’t know how long, just listening to the bustling sound of the restaurant behind me. Honestly I can’t wait to come in here in a few weeks and play. Playing the piano for a reason, for someone, makes my heart swell just as much as when I’m playing for myself. The image of Jean watching me when I played in my classroom comes to mind. I feel my cheeks burn as I remember his gaze when I realized he was watching me the whole time. Those eyes watching me expectantly-

“Come here often?”

A familiar voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I turn in my chair to see Jean- My eyes widen at the sight of him in a suit. He just grins at me and I can’t help but hate the blush starting to spread across my cheeks. He’s hot- handsome? Can I think that about my best friend? He looks drop dead hot. I’m not even going to try and fight the thought because I’m stunned.

“Woah-” I breath, “You clean up nice-” _You clean up nice_ is the most lame thing to come out of my mouth, I could have said you look handsome because that's innocent enough but no. I say you clean up nice because my mind couldn't register words fast enough. At least I’m not saying something along the lines of ‘fuck me- or let me fuck you.’ Oh god that would be bad. That would be abort abort worthy. I do not need to act extra gay today.

“I always look good.” Jean says as he nudges my side before sitting down on the stool next to me. I roll my eyes, trying to cover up any signs of the thoughts in my head. Shove them away and lock them up tight.

“Mhhm.. whatever you say.” I hum, my eyes locking on to some of his hair sticking out after looking him over a little and I lean forward, running my fingers through the spot to fix his hair. That’s better.

Jean just laughs and raises an eyebrow at me. “Marco, I have to say. I’m disappointed in your idea of formal wear.”

My cheeks puff, “Shut up. I’ve been here for about twenty minutes.” I say as I stand up, “I still need to change.” As I lean down to grab my bag, Hitch slams into the back of Jean, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

“Hey bro. Why so dapper? Hot date?” She says with this seemingly innocent smile plastering her face as she teases Jean.

“Nope, I would hardly call Marco a hot date.” He laughs. I can give him that but apparently to others I am considered to be a hot date. I roll my eyes and walk past Jean.

“But I am apparently eye candy.” I add on for fun as I head to the restroom. I can hear the confusion in Jean’s voice behind me, which causes me to laugh.

“Wait- Eye candy? Who’s calling you eye candy!?”

I hear Sasha laugh just as the door closes behind me. I take my time changing because I’m in no hurry. My jeans and long sleeved shirt are replaced with nice dress pants, white dress shirt and a black vest to match. I stare in the mirror for a few moments, unconsciously rolling up my sleeves even though I know I’ll have to fix them before we leave. But I don’t care, I’m not wearing my jacket just yet. I run my hands under the sink to get some water to push my bangs back, touching up anything that’s sticking up in the back. I lean my hands on the counter, checking to make sure the scar along my hairline isn’t noticeable. Not really unless someone is up in my face.

I let out a shaky breath that I had apparently been holding in. How long has it been since I’ve been dressed up like this? Most recent had to have been when I attended the funeral…. those dead eyes staring at me- I forget how to breath.

I bring a hand up to cover my eyes. _Breath.. breath.. It wasn’t your fault. His death wasn’t your fault._

Why did I attend the funeral? Why did I attend the funeral of a dead man who nearly killed me in the process? I thought it would bring me some kind of closure I didn’t actually need. No- I never needed any.. I never needed to go.. I was in no position to go but yet I still did.

_“Marco, you always seem to make unnecessary decisions that aren’t good for you.” Mylius states as he twirls his finger in my hair as he lays on my chest. I raise an eyebrow to question what he means._

_He just smiles at me, “You are too kind for your own good.”_

_I pull him into a soft, chastise kiss and he hums against it, “And? Is that a bad thing?” I ask, resting my forehead against his. I stare into his eyes expectantly, waiting for some kind of explanation._

_“For you. Because you will get hurt from it babe.” I open my mouth to further question what he means but he just tells me to shut up and pulls me into another kiss, which I don’t question, but happily oblige as I pull the covers over us._

I shake the thoughts of my ex from my head and grab my bag to head back out into the restaurant, my jacket laying across my arm. It isn’t a few seconds after I walk out, I hear a low whistle come from Jean when I head over to him.

I smile pulls at my face and I raise an eyebrow, “Are you disappointed in my formal wear _now?_ ” I ask, sitting back down. He just smirks at my comment.

“You’ll do.” He says before leaning forward toward me, I freeze because it’s just like that one time at the play. I have to make myself actually breath when I feel his breath on my ear. I can hear the hint of amusement in his voice as he whispers, “The woman behind us thinks you have a great ass.”

Just like that, all the embarrassment disappears and I burst out laughing, turning around to call out to Sasha, “Sash, can I leave my bag in the back?”

“Of course.” She replies before turning around to look at me, she pauses for a moment, “Hey, looking sharp.” She grins at me and I just hum a thanks back at her before I turn back around and take my glass of water in my hands.

“So… I know nothing about symphonies.” Jean states, which doesn’t surprise me. Unless you are majoring in music or have some love for them, no one really does.

“It’s pretty much an orchestra- if that term makes any more sense.” I say, shrugging softly because I can’t really explain it to him without going into great terminology. Jean just laughs.

“Um- I know what a piano is.”

I shake my head and nudge my elbow into his side, “You’ll just have to see then.”

“You’ll have to explain.” He says, looking at me expectantly.

“No, you’ll just have to listen.” I state which makes him laugh again.

“I’ll feel the music in me.”

I laugh softly, craning my head to look over at him, “So how did you get tickets again? Cause these are usually pretty expensive to go to.”

“I have clients that send me holiday gifts. Which totally makes me sound like a stripper.”

I shake my head at his added comment, my chin resting in my hand. “So did no one else want to come with you?”

He shrugs, “Well Hitch had work and I figured you would appreciate it most.”

“Well you figured right.” I hum, a smile tugging at my lips because he’s thoughtful enough to think of me for this. “Last one of these I went to was in college.” Best class trip I ever took in college during my Junior year. Of course I had to thrift like crazy after that because those tickets weren’t cheap, but it was an amazing experience.

“You went to symphonies and I went to keggers.” Wait- what? I don’t know what he’s talking about- is it like that one time when he was using ‘get baked’ to refer to getting high?

“I…. what?”

“What? You know what a kegger is right…”

I shake my head, “No....?” Why on earth would I know what that is?

“Oh man, I got to get you drunk.” He laughs as he slips off the stool. I follow suit, grabbing my bag but my face scrunches up.

“Please no….” I mutter. I hate the thought of getting drunk- I hate the thought of alcohol overall.

Jean just smiles, shaking his head, “You ready to go?”

“Yea.. let me just go put this in the back.” I say as I head to the back to drop off my bag at a corner. As I walk back over to Jean, I unroll my sleeves and shrug on my jacket. “Ready.” I look down momentarily to adjust my vest and back up to see Jean waving goodbye to Hitch and Sasha as he walks to the door.

“We’ll stop by after the show.”

I wave bye to Sasha and follow Jean outside. It’s 6:20, the sun has already gone down but the street lights illuminate the sidewalks. I sigh, the cold making a cloud out of my breath.

“Maybe we’ll make it without falling.” Jean says after we start walking up the street. I laugh at the thought of our failings before Thanksgiving had started. Jean pulling me off the couch- Jean making me fall into a snowbank.. where I exactly didn’t want to let him go.

“Hopefully.” I give a soft laugh, “The ice isn’t that bad today.”

Jean grumbles, “I can’t wait for spring.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, it’s the tail end of November. We still have all of December, January and probably February. The cold is going to be around for a while to his dismay. Smiling softly, I break it to him, “We got about three more months of cold.”

“And you call me a mood killer.” Jean mutters as we turn the corner. What mood?

“There isn’t a mood going on Jean so I wouldn’t say that.”

That earns a laugh from him that brings a smile to my face. Because his laugh has, and always will make my heart swell because it’s like music to my ears.

“Have you been to this theater before?” He asks.

“No.. considering I haven’t been here that long.” I shrug softly. That’s actually not a good excuse anymore. I’ve been here since June, so that’s six months. That’s actually a long time but it’s just now that I’ve been getting around to see what Trost is like.

“My father designed it a long time ago.”

“Impressive-” I take a breath and add on, “Well- for anyone who can design buildings.” I say, trying not to have the conversation take a wrong turn because it’s Jean’s dad we are talking about.

“Less impressive. It’s just a fact. But the job’s why we moved back here when Hitch was born.”

“Are you bothered by that fact then…?” I ask softly, trying to approach the topic carefully and tactfully.

“Naw. I would say some pretty good things came out of moving to Trost.” He shoots me a look with a wink that makes my cheeks warm. I glance over for a moment, not being able to keep eye contact.

“Yea. I can say the same thing.” I smile softly, because it’s true.

“Really? Tell me all the great things about Trost then.” Jean snorts and gives me a look of ‘I’m all the great things’. I can see it on his face. So naturally, I won’t give him the satisfaction, even though his ego is right. Jean is the best thing about Trost. In more ways than one. He makes my life more interesting, he unknowingly helped me start getting over my fear of riding in a car again. He introduced me to Connie and Sasha, and they have become my friends as well. I am thankful for a lot of things Jean has done for me.

“Oh?” I laugh, “Well.. I get to work at a place I love. I’ve met some great people, like my co-workers along with Connie and Sasha.” I smile, watching his reaction since I purposely didn’t mention him.  

“Right.” He laughs, nudging into me.

“Then- we got you who likes to wake my up in the middle of the night.” I shoot him a look to make a point.

“I apologize for keeping you up all night.” Jean grins at me, raising his eyebrows suggestively just like Ymir would do. The depths of my mind flashes an image of Jean in my bed-

"Mhhm.. I'm sure you're sorry." I say, trying to change the topic, "I don't mind though." I smile softly, referring to his two am texts. Jean doesn't say anything and he grabs my arm to yank me in the direction of an alleyway. It's dark out and he's taking me through a back alley??

"Jesus..." I breathe, "why are we walking through here?"

Jean just shrugs like it's no big deal. "Backstage entrance to the theater. We have wing seats."

Okay I can understand why we go through the back to get to these seats but still- "But we can't just go through the main entrance like normal people?"

"Because normal people don't have really cool tickets like we do and this is what they told me to do."

I make a face, “Fine…” I sigh, still walking along side him, just a tad bit closer than before.

“What?”

“Nothing- I just don’t ever like walking through back alleys because it creeps me out..” I mutter, glancing to the ground.

“But it’s cool- we are like super sexy James Bond characters running through back alleys and doing spy shit.” He says.

That makes me chuckle because of course he would think of something like that for this situation. “Whatever you say.” I shake my head, a smile plastering my face.

“Well. I would be James Bond and you would be a Bond girl.” He raises his eyebrows at me with a smirk. My nose scrunches because there is no way I would be the Bond girl. If we are going by looks, Jean is shorter than me and skinnier. I would totally pass as a better Bond than he would.

“No way- you would be the Bond girl.”

“What! No- I would totally make a better spy!”

I burst out laughing because I can’t see Jean sneaking around successfully under pressure. “You would fall and get caught!”

“You would fall with me!” Jean huffs as he attempts not to laugh, flipping me off in the process.

I roll my eyes. “I’ll learn to catch you without falling.” I’m going to make that my goal. No more of Jean falling, at least while I’m around him.

“Impossible- everyone falls for me.” He raises an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.

"Mhhm. Whatever you say princess."

“I hate you.”

That brings a smile to my face because of what he said Friday. “No take backs this time though.” I hum.

“Shut up.” He mutters, rolling his eyes as we approach the door. I stand to the side while he talks with the security guards. Eventually after he shows them our tickets, they let us through and we head through backstage to our seats.

♬

**10 PM**

I don’t know whether that was the shortest three hours I’ve sat through or the longest that I didn’t ever want to end. I look over at Jean, a wide grin on my face cause I was excited to see what he thought of it. I mean- I was so engrossed in listening and watching I didn’t exactly pay attention to his reactions.

He raises an eyebrow at me, “What?” He asks

I bite my lip to calm down, “Well… did you like it?”

“I loved it.” He muses, watching me. I laugh softly, to cover up the unease boiling in my mind. I must be imagining things- but the way he said ‘I loved it.’ I love..

I watch the people slowly file out, breaking eye contact with Jean. I stare at the musicians still seated in their chairs on the stage.

“You know…” I start, “I wanted to be in one of these once.” I state, not looking over at Jean. Specifically the violin. That’s my second favorite instrument next to  the piano.

“What changed?”

_What changed?_ What changed is that my life was ruined. What changed is that I lost the ability to play half the instruments I learned throughout college. What changed is that I left home to run away from the people who knew me. What changed..

My shoulders shrug a little, “Life..”  I say quietly, glancing over at him.

He just nods his head in agreement. “Life’s a dick.”

I smile softly and look back to my lap, “Yea. Pretty much.”

“So.” Jean stretches in his seat. “We heading back to Connie and Sasha’s?”

I nod, “Yeah- Maybe grab something to eat?” I ask hopeful, because I was too focused on the show to actually realize my stomach is practically eating itself right now I’m so hungry.

“It would be _impasta-able_ not to around Connie and Sasha.” Jean snorts, rolling his eyes at his own joke.

I hold in a laugh the best I can as I stand up, “You’re so lame.” With that, Jean and I leave the theater to head back to The Impastas. It takes ten minutes and that whole entire time we don’t really say much to each other. Which I’m okay with. Silence around Jean.. is comforting. Soothing to my mind and heart.

When we enter the restaurant, Connie is manning the front podium. The crowd of people before we left has died down considerably as the time to close at midnight nears.

“How was the music?” Connie asks.

“Fantastic.” I hum brightly as I walk past him to go get my bag and change out of my formal wear. I do so quickly so I don’t get lost in the dangerous places of my mind where all the depressing thoughts lie.

I come back out and have to register where Jean is but I spy him over in a two person booth. He’s sitting there with an undershirt on so he must have had the same idea as me with getting rid of the formal clothes. As I walk over, I run a hand through my hair to get it back in place. A wave of nostalgia hits me because this reminds me of when we awkwardly ate together at the italian restaurant. When Jean asked _will you do dinner with me sometime_. I hum to myself- because it’s amusing how far we’ve come, and that Jean probably doesn’t remember that.

Hitch rolls over to the table just as I get there. “Well well well. If it isn’t my brother dearest and my favorite teacher. Can I get you guys anything to drink. And _Marco._ ” She glances up at me with a snarky grin on her face. “We are all out of water.”

Of course she would. But I just laugh, ruffling her hair as I pass her to slip into the booth. I have this odd comfort with Hitch now, that I will have to ignore once school starts back up. “Alright Hitch. Can I have a coke then?”

“That’s only slightly less boring but fine.” She rolls her eyes and looks to Jean.

“Tell Sasha to surprise me.” He says.

“See. That’s interesting.” She flashes a grin and twirls before rolling away.

“Hitch is the master of giving people a hard time.” Jean sighs, and I feel his feet kick my leg as he props his feet up beside me on my seat. I smile softly to myself, just letting him do so.

“I know I know.” I laugh, “Which is why I like having her in class.” She keeps me on my toes- literally. Her class tops the others because it contains the most creative trouble makers in the school.

“Well, if she’s ever too much of a dick, I’m sure I could clear my schedule to have an emergency parent teacher conference.” He says laughing.

“And what? Have a repeat of last time?” I muse, raising an eyebrow. We both know how smooth that went. Okay- it actually went really well until he made me die of embarrassment. That threw me for a loop practically the whole week.

I feel a kick to my leg as Jean’s face pulls into a pout- which I still love to see. It’s adorable. Anything about him I feel like it’s adorable. “Whatever- so it wasn’t my shining moment.”

"Nope. It wasn't." I smile.

"Hey. But I think we turned out alright." He says laughing and I join in with him.

"Yea. I'm glad though." It's scary. Because I don't know where I would be or who I would be hanging out with if I hadn't opened up to Jean. Would I still be as afraid? I open my mouth to say 'thank you' but I'm interrupted by Hitch setting down two cocktail drinks in front of us.

"Alright. So Sasha sent these out for you."

I can feel my face contort into a frown at the sight of the drinks. “Tell Sasha thanks.” I say, trying to mask the displeasure in my voice.

I watch Jean take a cautious sip of the drink in front of him and he makes the same face that I just made, shaking his head as he sets it down. “That’s fucking strong.”

I lean back in my chair, not even making any attempt to reach out for the drink. I know better. I shift, my arms crossing comfortably.

“Maybe I should never let Sasha surprise me- unless I need to get really fucked up, really fast.”

I laugh softly, partially to cover up my unease of the situation unfolding in front of me. “Never put it past Sasha to do something crazy if you give her the chance I guess.”

“It’s really good- but it’s probably not going to be the type of night where I need all of that.” He rolls his eyes, gesturing to the drink.

I raise an eyebrow, my eyes narrowing slightly as I watch him. “What type of night is then?” I ask- because honestly, I can’t process through my mind why people would want to get drunk- or fucked up- or.. I don’t know. But Jean’s face turns red and he glances away as if he’s thinking about something. What.. is he thinking about?

“Jea-”

Jean reaches and downs the drink, quickly standing up. I feel my eyes widen because holy crap why did he do that?!

“I’ll be right back.. gotta go talk to Connie.. or something..” He says, trailing off in his words.

I’m sure I have the dumbest look on my face right now so I just press my palm to my face, “Alright..” I say, shaking my head. He just nods and walks away without a word. _What was that? What just happened?_ I am running everything thing that went wrong in my head that I don’t notice Hitch.

“Hey, where’d my brother go?” I look up to her, her hand on her hip as she waits for my answer.

“To talk to Connie..” I mutter, pushing the two glasses toward her. If Jean comes back, there’s no way I’m leaving a full glass for him to get to. “You can take these back. And I’m still looking forward to that coke.”

“Sasha just gave me the tray- but I’ll get you a coke if you don’t tell Sasha I’m foiling her plans.” _Plans_? God damnit Sasha. She’s behind this-

“Won’t tell a soul. She doesn’t need to be scheming.”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far but I’ll get you two cokes.” Hitch rolls her eyes and I just mutter a thanks.

“Anything for my favorite music teacher.” She grins.

“I’m the only music teacher Hitch.” I laugh.

“Well, don’t tell Coach Jaeger, but favorite teacher. Period.” Hitch hums, leaning her elbows on the table, twirling her pen between her fingers.

“Does Jaeger have some competition with getting the most favorites from students?” I ask, because that’s the first I’ve heard of Eren wanting to be the favorite teacher.

“Nope. I just keep him thinking that he’s my favorite and I totally don’t run as much as I should.”

That brings a smile to my face because she’s such a sly kid. Yet she’s probably not thinking that she shouldn’t be telling me this stuff. “I’ll keep that in mind if you ever pull something in class.” I hum, leaning my elbows on the table.

The most priceless thing is when her jaw drops from shock. It takes her a second to collect herself before she smirks at me. “You got balls Marco- I like that.” She skates away before I can say anything so I just laugh to myself.

I’m alone again. It feels like I’ve been ditched. But I know that’s not true. _This date is taking a wrong turn_ \- Date? No no no- this isn’t a date. This is Jean and I hanging out because he invited me to a symphony with him and now we are eating out like _friends_. Friends doesn’t feel right- but neither does best friends? I don’t know what feels right anymore because we just have the oddest friendship.

Jean snaps me out of my thoughts when he sits down, holding two cokes in his hands. “Sorry.” He says.

“Everything alright..?” I ask.

“Everything’s great.” He says like that whole downing the cocktail and leaving me alone just didn’t happen. He shifts, putting his feet back up next to me. “Sasha’s going to bring out food for us- she’s set on not letting us order.”

"Doesn't surprise me." I say, smiling softly because it's just Sasha. "I trust whatever she makes will be good."

"Unless it's drinks." Jean smiles as he pushes the coke towards me. I take the glass in my hands with a thanks.

"True."

"No problem." Jean leans back in his chair and shrugs, "I try not to drink a lot. Obviously I fail sometimes."

"Fail as in you downed that cocktail back there?" I raise an eyebrow at him because that was a deliberate fail- something had to be up.

"We all have our moments." Jean rolls his eyes.

"Yeah... But that just looked painful." I mumble, giving him a look.

"I'm used to it. You've had liquor before, right?"

"A little... Then I realized I don't like it." I say, my shoulders shrugging.

"College must have been so fucking different for you."

I stare at him for a second the take my coke in my hand before taking a sip. From what I've heard, from what I know from Jean- "Apparently so." I mutter, not meaning to but it just came out that way.

"I mean- my first year it was either getting fucked up, fucking, or flunking- but then I started studying so I graduated top of the class."

I stare down at my hands that are wrapped around the glass. The thought of wasting the first year of college irks me. It's one of those things where I just can't understand it. College is an opportunity that we have to utilize because it's so important. Which is what I did. I graduated with a masters, a bachelors and a minor. Six whole years of constant schooling because I wanted to make the best out of my future. And I worked, during school when I had free time, and I had two part time jobs during the summer. Because God knows I wasn't going to leave myself or my family in crippling school debt.  

I look up at Jean, hoping I wasn't lost in my thoughts for too long. "Six years of classes, work and extra classes if I could fit them into my schedule. The two years for my masters were the toughest but- I mean I needed to get them done."

Maybe the last two years wouldn't have been as stressful if I hadn't been hospitalized at the beginning. Also the fact of strengthening my left hand with writing- because that was hard. Now it just comes naturally.

"Well a toast to that." Jean says, raising his glass.

I pause and give a small smile, tapping my glass against his. "If you say so."

“Very festive of you.” Jean snorts at my unenthusiastic reply.

“Not as festive as you during Thanksgiving.” I say, smiling.

“You can only be so festive when your house is being terrorized by two evil teenager girls.” Jean defends and I start to say something but I see Hitch creeping up behind him, so I put on a straight face and just let things play out.

“Evil teenage girls?”

Jean stiffens in surprise and I give a knowing smile before he turns to face her. “Yes, and when I say two, know that you count for both of those because Mina is sweet.” He teases.

“Oh Jean, you are so funny.” She says rolling her eyes as she tugs at a strand of his hair.

“It’s a gift.” Jean smiles, “You heading home?”

She isn’t wearing her skates and she has her coat on. So I smile because she’s a good worker. “Good work today Hitch.”

“I am a gift to the waitressing world.” She smirks.

“When you aren’t questioning a customer’s drink choice.” I tease, smiling innocently.

“Stop being logical Mr. B.”

_Stop being logical_. That makes me laugh because it’s Jean’s phrase. Now I guess it’s a sibling thing now. I look to Jean, “You two are definitely alike.” I hum, taking another drink of my coke. Jean smiles but Hitch makes a disgusted noise.

“Gross.”

Jean watches her for a second, “Get home safe please- Mom and Dad’s or…” He trails off in his words and I understand why. His parents. Even I don’t feel safe with Hitch going back to them.

“Mom and Dad’s. I’ll text you. And I was going to stay with you this weekend, if that’s cool with you?”

“Sounds like we’ll be eating Dairy Queen.”

“You know it.” Hitch smiles, flicking his forehead.

Is it bad I want to pull them both into a hug and just say how proud I am of them? Would that be awkward? Probably but I still want to do it.

I small smile tugs at my lips, “See you tomorrow during class Hitch.”

That brings a look of disgust to her face as her expression pulls into a grimace. “Ugh.. don’t remind me… School.”

I can understand that. “Christmas break will be here before you know it.” I say, reassuring her and myself because I’m not exactly ready to go back.

“Yeah. After like a hundred tests.” She groans dramatically, flipping her hood up and shoving her hands in her pockets. “Peace out bitches.”

“Bye Hitch.” I hum as she turns to leave. Once she is gone, Jean just rolls his eyes, taking a drink of his coke. “Responsibility sucks.”

“All part of growing up.” I say, shrugging softly.

“Jean would rather never grow up and have his island of lost boys, if you know what I mean.”

I look up to see Connie being an idiot and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he sets two bowls down on the table. Sometimes I think it’s just Sasha I have to worry about- but no.

“Hey Connie.” I laugh at how ridiculous he’s being.

“Marco- Long time no see.”

“Yeah Yeah. If you consider a few hours a long time.” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

“I consider a few seconds too long.” I stiffen as he runs the back of his hand across my cheek dramatically… just.. being Connie.

I chuckle, “Mhhm. Sure.” I glance over at the two dishes, “So, what did Sasha pick off the menu for us?” I ask, to get him to stop being awkward.

“Bodt-ered shrimp and alfredo for you.” He grins at me. “And the new classic Marco-roni and cheese.” He says proudly, shoving the dish toward Jean.

I can’t believe this. I haven’t know these two dorks for a month and they are already punning with my name. “Oh my god- Don’t go naming dishes after me!”

“Too late.” Connie laughs. I can’t help but shoot Jean a look of disbelief and _do something about this they are your friends._

Jean just puts his hands up in defense. “Don’t look at me, there is a dish called the Chicken Parma-Jean.”

“Too bad we can’t serve horse.” Connie grins.

“That’s just wrong.” I shake my head trying not to shudder. “Go back to the kitchen, Connie.” I say because I would love to eat my food in peace and quiet.

“Yes sir.” Connie mocks a salute before he turns and heads back to the kitchen.

I sigh heavily, moving to take a bite of my food. It’s amazing- I’ll give those two that. Like whatever they make will be the best food I’ll ever have. Jean follows suit, but he must be more used to their cooking than me.

“Damn, this Marco-roni tastes amazing.” He rolls his eyes but he has this look of he knows exactly what he’s saying. I know I should be feeling embarrassed right now but I just make a god awful noise as I keep myself from laughing.

“Dude, it’s too late in the day for you to be making jokes.” I say, going back to happily eating my food.

“But you love them.” Jean deadpans.

“Two can play at that game though, just remember that.” I hum.

“I would like to see you try.” Jean raises an eyebrow, glaring at me as he goes back to eating his food.

“I’ll just wait for the perfect time.” I say in between bites.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” He says, pausing to run a hand through his hair.

“Okay okay.” I shrug and we both go back to eating our food in silence for about ten minutes. When I pause from nearly finishing my plate, I look over at my phone. 10:45. “Man…” I breathe, “It’s getting late..” I don’t say it to make a point- it’s almost a reminder for myself that this night has to end and I have to go to bed to actually get up for work in the morning.

“Shit sorry- You have work tomorrow-” Jean says in realization, pausing with his fork in mid air between him and his plate.

“Yeah… sadly..” I say giving an apologetic smile.

“Now you sound like Hitch.” He laughs, “Don’t worry, winter break will be here soon.”

I just laugh, “Not soon enough.” I admit.

“My job never ends.” Jean sighs, “Christmas means nothing in the world of money.” The way he exhales breaks my heart because he sounds tired of this job- it’s slowly breaking him down and I can’t do anything about it. Maybe if I hang out more later at night I can keep him from working.  I rest my cheek against my hand and stare at him for a minute.

“What do you want for Christmas?” I ask, almost out of impulse.

His brows furrow together in confusion- probably to why would I ask him that. Why would I? Honestly I want to give him something- I genuinely do.

“.......I don’t know.”

“Alright.” I smile, “I have something in mind already.” I had something in mind for a long while in the back of my mind. He mentioned he listened to instrumentals of music when he works. I’ll need to crack down and record some piano music for him on a cd.

“What do you want for Christmas?” Jean asks me.

I shrug, “Nothing really.” I admit honestly. Nothing could make me happier than I am right now. Nothing could make my life here in Trost with everyone better.

“I should have expected that.” Jean rolls his eyes.

I laugh softly, “Well…. yeah..” I shift, leaning back in my chair, staring at my empty plate. The food is gone.. I don’t exactly have a reason to stay- but Jean- “I… should be getting home..” I say softly.

“I’ll walk with you.” Jean adds without skipping a beat.

“Jean- That’s out of your way… literally in the opposite direction…” I say because it’s so much walking for him-

“And?”

I smile and chuckle to myself because I don’t know why I expected anything different. “Okay fine.”

“Haa I win.” Jean smirks as he stands and grabs both plates to take to the kitchen. I just smile and let him think what he wants. Standing, I slip out of the booth and put on my jacket for the walk home. Jean does the same when he returns, tucking his button down and tie under his arm. “Ready?” He asks

I nod, slinging my bag with my clothes in it over my shoulder. “Mhhm. Ready.” I hum with a smile and we both head outside.

♬

We walked the whole way in silence, not really saying much to each other. When we get to the apartments, I hesitate- looking from my apartment to Jean. I don’t want him to go.. not yet.

“Um.. Do… you want to come inside and I’ll grab a bag for you to carry your shirt and tie back in?” I spill out an excuse to keep him around at 11:00.

“Oh… yeah. That would be great.”

I try and hold back the smile I feel coming on as I motion for him to follow me up the stairs. I can’t wait for him to meet Tuff- Oh no.. his allergies.. “O-oh.. uh.. sorry about your allergies..” I say quietly.

“I’ll be fine, trust me. My- uh- last girlfriend, Annie, had a cat.”

Oh no.. I don’t want him to associate me with his ex all over the fact that we both have a cat. I just nod an okay as I unlock the door when I get to it, I start opening the door, “Sorry it’s-” My apology about it being a little messy is cut off when I hear Tuff meow and I see her bound over from the bedroom when I open the door all the way. I laugh and scoop her up in my arms, kissing the tiny bridge of her nose like I always do. “Hey sweetie.” I murmur. I have to remember that Jean is still with me- I invited him in. I step to the side so he can walk in and close the door behind him.

“Take a seat on the couch and I’ll grab a bag.” I say, still holding Tuff in my arm as I walk past to go to my bedroom. Of course searching for a spare bag is a little more difficult with one hand but I manage, grabbing an older bag that has Jinae printed on the front of it. I hear Jean sneeze from the other room and I look to Tuff. I want.. Jean to like her.. and I want her to like him.. I want these two important things in my life to get along. But hearing him sneeze is like a stab to my heart because I’m putting him through that.

I take a breath and walk back into the living room, holding out the bag to Jean. “Really sorry….” I murmur as Tuff is loudly purring as she nuzzles her head into my neck.

“I’m fine.” Jean rolls his eyes at me as I sit on the other end of the couch. “So.. Tuff. She’s cute.” He says, eyeing the big lump of truck purring fur in my arm.

I smile softly, shifting her from my arm to settle in my lap. “She’s my baby.” I say automatically.

I look up to see Jean holding his hand out to Tuff and she leans forward sniffing at his fingers. Okay this is going well- In an instant she bites down on his hand.  I yelp, scolding her as I reach for her and she turns to sink her teeth into my own hand. “Okay okay I’m sorry-” I start apologizing to her as I pick her back up, “I’m sorry-” I say to Jean, trying to keep my voice from cracking because she _bit_ him. I’m used to her biting me but I don’t tolerate her abusing strangers.

“Marco it’s okay- I’ve experienced worse pain.” Jean reassures me.

Tuff shifts from my arm to climb up onto my shoulder where she perches. “Still- it’s my bad.. She gets grumpy..” I trail off in my words.

“I feel that.” Jean says as his head leans against the back on the couch, sneezing just moments after. I flinch- _I am putting him through this. I am making his allergies act up_. I look to the side, down at the floor.

“Well…. I’ll let you head back home then?” I say, because if I let him go then he won’t be sneezing.

“Yeah… Thanks.. for the bag.” Jean says as he stands up and I follow suit, smiling softly.

“Mhm… thanks for inviting me. I had a great time.”

“Anytime.” Jean pulls up his hood. “I’ll see you when you can escape from your teachery-ness sometime.” He frowns at the mention of my work.

“Don’t be a baby, it’s not like I’m five hours away.” I say softly, trying to lighten the mood.

“I am not a baby.” Jean mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, you are.” I smile, instinctively outstretching my arm out open to welcome a hug like I would for Sasha. I freeze- should I take it back? This is Jean. But before I can make up my mind I feel him press into my hold quickly before backing away. A quick friend side hug. I can take it. I will accept it. Even though I just feel like holding him close and burying my head in the crook of his neck in silence because sometimes I just need someone- when Tuff isn’t enough. I need Jean-

“Bye Marco. Bye Tuff.” He eyes Tuff, whose glaring down at him from my shoulder.

“See you Jean.” I say softly because this is worse than what I was feeling while I was away for Thanksgiving. It should be the opposite but I realize the tension that was present the whole day. _Stay._ My mind tells me. It tells me he should stay. That’s selfish Marco.

We both nod to each other and there is this awkward thick silence in the air. None of us make any movement for a few seconds before Jean just shifts and turns, opening the door and stepping out to close it behind him. And just like that, he’s gone, and I’m alone again. I don’t want him to be gone because I’m standing here stiff- not knowing what to do with myself.

Tuff meows in my ear and I nearly jump because I wasn’t expecting it. She just keeps on mewing till it hits me that I need to feed her before bed. I laugh softly, walking to the kitchen, taking her off my shoulder to set her on the floor right before I grab her cat food and dish some out in the empty bowl by the fridge. Tuff goes straight to eating and I retreat to my bedroom in silence.

I just about get into bed when it hits me that I should probably change. So I do- into a pair of pajama pants before I crawl on to my bed, shifting under the covers. I look at my phone, 11:30. Shoot. I need to sleep. I am going to feel like crap in the morning when 6:30 hits.

Alarm- right. I need to set that. I scroll through my phone and make sure that I have my alarm ringer all the way up and an alarm set. I pause, putting my phone volume all the way up.

Idiot. If you put your volume up then you will wake up if Jean texts you randomly. But it’s what I want though and I hate myself for it. Because I don’t want to become a pathetic adult who realized over break he can’t go without seeing his friend who keeps his feet on the ground.

I sigh heavily and set my phone on the stand next to my bed when I hear Tuff jump up on the bed. The covers sink where she walks as she curls up in a spot next to my legs. I smile softly, nuzzling into the pillows. Stop worrying- Just.. don’t think about Jean and go to sleep.

_Goodnight Jean. Get home safe._


	11. Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week is long and spending time with Jean is too short, also a little emotional at inopportune times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a week off schedule. Jean's POV will not be posted tonight, so we will be back on the one chapter behind schedule till things get caught up. Chapter 11 was originally planned to be longer but it got split up into two chapters.  
> Also you can look up the piano versions on youtube, and Marco's singing voice in my head sounds like Alex Goot, so look him up on youtube as well.
> 
> Expect chapters to most likely remain to be updated bi-weekly, they are slowly getting longer and the school work is getting tougher. Love you all. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -PencilOnly

The feeling of losing something is terrible. Especially if it’s something you never had or thought you never needed. Especially if you hadn’t technically lost it, but realized you never had it in the first place. It’s a weight that you don’t know how to get rid of. It’s a desire that you don’t want to face. Especially if that _something_ is a _someone_. Especially if that person is a stranger you’ve come to adore as a friend. Especially if that friend becomes so important to your everyday life where you don’t know how to function properly at the thought of not being able to interact with them.

That’s how I feel right now. I feel stuck in a rut of my own emotions that leaves me wishing I could change myself. I wish I didn’t emotionally constipate myself over my past. I wish I wasn’t afraid to tell him. But I am. That’s why I ran away to Trost. No one needs to know me. That’s why. I’m not the favorite teacher, I’m not freckled Jesus.. I’m just me and I’m broken. Or- At least I still feel that way.

I don’t want to feel that way but it’s been looming over me for two years. Two whole years of questioning my existence because sometimes I think I shouldn’t be alive today. The car crash did more to my emotional state than the physical damage ever could. Years of schooling nearly wasted in an instant. And years ahead of me made so much more difficult. The words of encouragement never made it that deep into my mind. They never sunk it, especially those from my family. _You are strong, you will recover; strength comes from overcoming the struggles in life._ Stuff like that. Sappy crap from distant relatives who I’m sure just picked out a card randomly if it sounded good enough.

I’ve never came to care enough back about them. I distanced myself from those who seemed to care, but didn’t and I closed myself off from caring too much. At least about certain things. I still get bitter about it. About what happened. I face that bitterness alone. After my slow recovery, I never wanted to date anyone because I know my insecurities would lash out. That still applies right now. I don’t want to date anyone- but I realize I need support. Support that is addicting, support that makes me want to spend every waking moment actually feeling alive. That support is Jean.

Jean made my life turn a complete 180 within a matter of minutes. A stranger who became my friend. A friend I can’t live without now. That’s Jean Kirchstein. He’s the person I’ve gotten closest to in a long long time. He’s the person who I am thankful to know. He’s the person who I worry about so much because his existence is important to me. The more I think on it, it’s weird.. but I’m past caring anymore.

**Dec. 1 Monday**

**7 AM**

Walking back into Trost High feels foreign for some reason. But it’s like any other day, I just need to get back onto my usual schedule. I head for the teachers lounge to drop off my lunch of cold pizza, which I saved a lot of time packing this morning because of it.

“Marco.”

I straighten up from putting my lunch in the fridge to see Erwin Smith, the dean of admissions.

“Hey Erwin.” I smile, because unlike Levi, Erwin is a lot easier to talk to. “How was your break?” I ask.

“Pretty good pretty good. Spent some time with Levi and Hanji at Thanksgiving.” He smiles and I don’t know what to say because I thought Levi was with Hanji but apparently Erwin hangs out with them over break? I’m sure Erwin sees some confusion on my face and he laughs.

“Between you and me, Marco, since you’re new- Hanji and Levi make an adorable couple.” He winks at me. I can feel my face heat up because it feels weird to know a secret relationship, especially in school, _especially_ about Levi.

“I- Uh-” I don’t know what to say to that. “Well.. you’re right.” I manage to say, because the more I think about it, their interactions are subtle but cute.

“Good to be back Marco, have a good first day back.” He smiles as he sips his coffee before turning and walking down the hallway to his office.

I just nod and barely get out a ‘you too’ before he turns. I smile softly to myself, because the normality is setting back in as I turn and walk down the familiar hallway to room 104, _my_ room.

The period roll through the day and there isn’t anything to assign but I do introduce the project after midterms.

“Okay.” I say, to get the attentions of my students who look as tired as I feel. “We won’t be starting anything big until after Christmas break.”

I pause as I hear the familiar sighs of relief because god forbid Mr. Bodt gives another big assignment. A smile tugs at my lips because I missed this. More than I thought. These are my students.

“But, I’ll give you an overview of what to expect. So over the few weeks, you’ll be thinking about an instrument you have always wanted to learn how to play. The overall goal is to learn how to play one song with your said instrument. If you need opinions, I am always here to answer them. My speciality is piano but I know how to play others.”

“That sounds hard.” A voice from the back pipes up.

“I know, I’m not expecting you to master it. But it is a good skill to know.” I explain, “You can always drop it after my class but you always have the option to take it up.”

The sounds of displeasure rings through the classroom and I give a small laugh. “Oh come on now. It’s not like I’m testing you guys.”

The bell interrupts my thoughts and the sudden movement from the students getting up makes me hold my hand up to tell them to wait a second. “You’re assignment is to make a list of possible instruments and why you would want to learn them. That’s due Thursday. Have a good day.” I lower my hand back to my side and one by one they file out of the classroom. I stand in silence for a few minutes, a small laugh bubbling past my lips.

I love my job.

**Dec. 3 Wed.**

I’m walking down the hall to my room, the last of the kids have almost made it to their next periods in the three minute time frame between the bells. I’m adjusting my sleeves back up around my elbows when I hear the loud stomps of feet behind me.

“Maaarrco.”

I know the voice before even turning around. Hitch. “You’re going to be late for my class.” I chastise her with a smile.

“Yeah yeah.” She snickers, walking beside me.

“Hitch Kirschstein. Mr. Bodt.”

I hold my breath because that’s a voice I never want to hear. Hitch and I both freeze, and I turn first to see Levi behind us, staring us down with a harsh glare. “Hitch. Did you just address a teacher by their first name?”

I’m terrified right now, but Hitch just clicks her tongue and mutters, “Sorry sir.”

I try not to roll my eyes and I press a hand to her back to tell her to get to class so I can talk to Levi alone.

Looking back to Levi, I give a look of apology. “Levi-”

“Mr. Bodt. You know the rules. I will not tolerate you breaking them.”

“I know sir- It won’t happen again.” I say, feeling it isn’t best to explain my personal life connected to her by Jean to him.

“It better not.” He grumbles, turning to stiffly walk back to his office.

I let out a breath that I was holding because that was too close for comfort. Levi always has been a stickler for the rules. And students addressing teachers ‘personally’ was a no.

Turning, I make my way back to my classroom, the noise of talking students dies down when I open the door. I close the door behind me and lean against my desk, staring out at the students.

“Okay.” I breath, knowing this is going to be risky. “In college, most professors let you address them by their first name, or last. Whichever you prefer. I know Principal Ackerman doesn’t tolerate that but honestly, it’s a little dumb.” That earns a few giggles because it’s rare for me to talk out like this.

“High school is supposed to prepare you for college. And since I just recently graduated, I’m going to put a better little twist on things.”

I press a hand to my chest, “Restarting from introductions. My name is Marco Bodt. And as long as it’s inside the confinements of my classroom, you may address me as Marco if you chose to do so.”

The stares I get are kinda funny but I keep a straight face because I’m being serious about this. Someone asks _why_. Why? Why is a good question.

“Because I am here to help you learn. I am not running a dictatorship classroom, I am not superior over you. I am not even the age to be any of your parents. I’m literally the age to be your older brother. I went through your shoes six years ago and I understand what you are feeling most of the time. I am here to help you guys succeed. That is my goal. So if you calling me Marco makes things less stressful for you, then by all means do so.”

Silence. I don’t get any vocal response because I think I shocked them. But one hand shoots up after a few moments and Hitch just gives me a mischievous grin. I know she’s going to make this more difficult.

“Yes Hitch.” I say, trying to mask any _dear lord_ tone in my voice.

“What about nicknames?” She hums.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair because I try to be nice and this is what happens. “No. This is a privilege I’m giving you guys and it’s a thing I don’t want abused. Please no nicknames, you either call me Marco, or Mr. Bodt. Which just makes me sound old.”

“What if we get caught by Principal Ackerman?”

My shoulders shrug a bit, “Marco Polo?” I question.

That makes a few laugh and I can’t help but laugh along as well.

**Dec. 4 Thursday**

_I spot Connie, Sasha and Jean down the street. I feel a grin on my face as I go up to them._

_“Hey guys.” I say, holding up a hand as I stop. They don’t look over my way._

_Connie punches Jean on the shoulder and they laugh. I can’t make out what they say._

_“Guys?” I murmur quietly, reaching to place my hand on Jean’s shoulder but it phases through. No- I’m supposed to be here with them. I can feel my hands shaking, my eyes quickly scanning my surroundings._

_“Hey, do you guys know anyone by the name of Marco?” Sasha asks._

_“Huh?” Connie tilts his head, “No. Why?”_

_I can’t breath. I’m standing right here- you know me- Jean hasn’t replied yet and my eyes widen as I watch him. But his shoulders just shrug._

_“Nope. Don’t know anyone by that name.”_

_I know they are still talking but I can’t hear anything. I’m… I’m… right here.. It’s hard to breath and I can’t stop myself from shaking. I’m not dead- I’m supposed to be in Trost with them. I look up past them to a window. I stare at the reflection-_

_A bloodied man is staring back at me. His left side- my right- is covered in blood, his eye gone as well as his arm. My left hand reaches up to touch my right eye, drawing back to have it covered in blood._

_No- I’m.. dead? I look back to the group, holding my breath. Jean seems to be staring at me, his usual scowl as he glares in my direction._

_“Jean…?” My voice cracks._

_“Who the hell are you?”_

_…..Right.. I’m nobody. I died alone.._

_♫_

My eyes snap open, my vision blurred from the tears in my eyes that hadn’t ran down my face in my sleep. I exhale shakily- why does he need to be in my dreams? Why does it matter.. If I was dead he would get along in his life just fine.

I glance over at the clock, 5:45. No point in going back to sleep. I sit up, rubbing the remaining tears away from my eyes with the palm of my hand. Tuff is staring at me from my lap, she knows something is wrong. I reach to scratch under her chin to reassure her I’m fine.

I take my time getting ready, carrying Tuff around the house with me in the mean time. I feel dead tired, not really wanting to work today but I have to. If anything, work will get my mind off things. But I have a feeling this will be an off day.

Classes carry on as usual as I take up the whole period talking with each of the students about which instrument they picked. Most want to learn guitar, which is easy enough to learn and teach. Thankfully the school’s music department has a few of each instrument.

During third period, I make my way around the classroom and finally make it to Hitch, who has her feet propped up on the empty seat in front of her. “Hey Marky Marc.” She says with this wide grin on her face. I’m too tired to deal with this today. Today of all days I need to feel tired.

“Hitch…” I sigh, “What did I tell you about calling me that?”

“Fine, Mr. B. I formally apologize.” She hums, sitting up to rest her elbows on the desk.

“Mhmm..” I make a skeptical noise but let it go, “So… what instrument do you want to learn?” I ask because I have other students to attend to before this period is over.

A smile plasters her face that should look innocent but it means Hitch has something up her sleeve. “Yep. I’ve discovered that I’m super passionate about it as well.”

I’m skeptical, of course. I raise an eyebrow, my arms crossing, “What then?”

Hitch leans down and digs through her backpack and pulls out a triangle. She starts ringing it loudly before I get a chance to stop her. I can hear a ‘I love it’ from her through the noise before I reach forward to grasp the percussion to silence it. I can feel the nervous glances from the other students as they try to muffle their giggles.

I take the triangle from Hitch and rub my forehead with my free hand. “Instrument. Not a percussion.” I say calmly.

“Percussion is my passion though!” Hitch whines.

“Hitch.” I say firmly, trying to tell her to knock it off and take this seriously.

“Marco.” She locks stares with me and I can’t exactly keep eye contact for long.

“Do you have _anything_ else in mind?” I sigh, running my hand through my hair in frustration.

“Marcoo.” Her  face pulls into a pout.

“Hitch. Please actually think of something…” I say softly because I don’t want to argue with her. I am too tired to argue.

“Fine.” She huffs, standing up. “Dumb Horse face McGee told me I needed to pick another thing too.” She rolls her eyes and gives me a look before walking over to the keyboard at the back end of the room. I follow her in silence, my eyes watching the way her fingers tap at the keys to play a sloppy but decent tune. “So I picked piano.”

I feel my lips curl into a smile because I think back to when I first showed interest in the piano. How happy it made me to learn a new song and finally be able to read the sheets without fail. I tap the same tune after her with one hand, “You show promise.” I say without thinking.

“You show promise.” Hitch mocks me, “Yes master Marco.” She adds, bowing sarcastically. I feel my face heat up a little from embarrassment and I look to the side because I need to compose myself a little. I pull my hand back from the piano to scratch at my hairline at the back of my neck.

“Knock it off, Hitch.”

Hitch smiles triumphantly and sits back down at her desk, pulling out a piece of bubble gum.

“Please no gum in class.” I say as I pass her to talk to the next student. I hear her groan dramatically and slump against her desk.

♫

**4 PM**

I am sitting at my desk, typing up some things on my laptop, specifically the results from today’s talks with my students. My phone beeps from my bag and I roll away from my desk to lean down and fish it out. Sasha’s picture is on my lock screen with a new message.

**_-FRECKLES! I got the song list all ready. I emailed it to you.. Tell me if it sounds good <3-_ **

I small smile plasters my face as I turn my attention back to my laptop to open up my email to look at what Sasha sent me. The subject of the email is Date Night Song List. I open the new email up and my eyes scan over the list of 10 songs that Sasha had provided.

  1. Glad You Came - The Wanted

  2. Say Something - A Great Big World

  3. Paradise - Coldplay

  4. Feel Again - OneRepublic

  5. A Sky Full Of Stars - Coldplay

  6. Counting Stars - OneRepublic

  7. A Thousand Years - Christina Perry

  8. Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift

  9. All Of Me - John Legend

  10. Always Gold - Radical Face




The song list isn’t all around romantic but it works really well for a restaurant date night. What works well is that I know most of these.

_-Looks great Sash-_

**_-I’m so excited! Maybe I’ll even find you some romance ;) ;)-_ **

_-It’s not about me. But do save time for one last thing at the end cause I’ll have a surprise.-_

I want to add on one song at the end. Daylight by Maroon 5. I feel it would be a perfect song to end the night.

**_-Surprises??? Marco what evil do you have planned?-_ **

_-Nothing evil. I’m not you guys-_

**_-Hey! I’m not evil… I’m just.. creative-_ **

_-Mhhm sure.-_

**_-Shhhh you know you love us!-_ **

_-I do love you guys-_

**_-The let me set you up-_ **

I feel my stomach drop at her persistence to set me up with someone. Yes, it’s probably time I get back to dating again but I’m holding myself back. I am restricted by my own fears about the talk of my scars or what would happen if I panicked around them. More like I don’t feel safe with myself around people right now. Except for Connie and Sasha, but mainly Jean.

_-I’m not looking to date anyone so no-_

**_-Fiiinnnnnne. I’ll let you romance your piano instead oh masterful one-_ **

_-Yea yea. Get back to work or whatnot?-_

**_-You’re right, this Marco-roni won’t cook itself-_ **

I shake my head at her pun titles for their dishes. I set my phone aside to end the conversation.

8 PM

I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket and I pull it out to read the new message that it had received. I rest my elbows on the dinner table and abandon my plate of pasta to reply to what Jean has sent me.

**_-Did Sasha get you the song list?-_ **

_-Yup. I got it-_

**_-Okay. Just making sure… They are scatterbrained sometimes-_ **

_-Even if I didn’t get it, I know a good range of songs to wing it-_

**_-haha it’s nice you have skills to actually entertain people-_ **

_-I could always teach you something if you want to entertain Connie and Sasha that bad :) -_

A smile tugs at my lips because there isn’t any better pastime than joking with Jean, even if it was over text.

**_-There are so many gross things running through my head right now.-_ **

_-Haa that’s your own fault-_

**_-I’m pretty sure all the gross things that run through my head are your fault-_ **

_-Aw really? Glad I can help make your life interesting outside of work-_

**_-Go back to being all teachery and shit Marky Marc-_ **

_-Don’t you start that too!-_

**_- <3 -_ **

I stare at the playful heart text with a pout because I don’t want to be called Marky Mark. But I can’t help but relax because I can’t exactly stay mad at Jean. At least not with a heart staring back at me from my phone.

**Friday, December 5th**

My eyes narrow as I stare at my class who are working on a worksheet I gave them. Everyone is focused on what’s in front of them except for one person. Hitch. Her forehead is pressed to the desk as she’s focused on trying to sneak texts out from under her desk. I am ready to get up and tell her to put it away but the bell rings before I am able to say anything.

I lean back in my chair as the students file out to their next class and I get up, heading to the teachers lounge to take an early lunch so I can help watch the library for Armin during his lunch period.

I grab my lunch and take a seat, grabbing my phone. Who would Hitch be texting? Marlowe nor Mina wouldn’t text in class. But I have a hunch to who would.

_-Please tell me it’s not you Hitch was texting in my class-_

I smile, taking a bite of my peanut butter sandwich as I finish typing a message out to Jean.

**_-Uh….-_ **

Bingo. It was him.

_-It was. Wasn’t it-_

**_-To be fair, I didn’t know she was in your class-_ **

_-To be fair, you know she’s in school and should not be texting in any class.-_

**_-You should have sent her to detention. She started it. By texting me.-_ **

He just threw Hitch under the bus of blame. I can’t believe him.

_-You should be in detention with her you back stabber!-_

**_-So I should be punished?-_ **

I can hear the way he would say it, with a wink added on too. I feel my face heat up because my mind wanders to some places that I don’t want to even think on, especially at school. I automatically text him back what my usual would be for Ymir.

_-Shut it-_

**_-I want you to be aware that I’m rolling my eyes at you right now-_ **

_-Oh I bet. Now please don’t reply to her in school unless it’s an emergency-_

**_-yes teacher :) But yeah, I won’t-_ **

**_-Also she was texting me about buying her a keyboard-_ **

I stare at the picture I received from Jean. A boxed up keyboard in a shopping cart. I smile because I’m glad that he’s supporting her with this, and not leaving me to triangle ringing.

_-Well good. At least I won’t have a triangle ringing in my class anymore-_

**_-She was super excited about the triangle-_ **

**_-I heard you crushed her dreams-_ **

_-Apparently that is my new title-_

**_-No your new title is Marky Mark-_ **

_-It sounds better than princess-_

_-Or horse face-_

**_-You spend too much time with Connie and Sasha-_ **

**_-And Hitch-_ **

_-Probably-_

**_-I mean, it must totally speak to how much you like me.. Considering you hang out with me the least-_ **

I have no excuse for why I spend time with him the least. Honestly he’s the one I would rather spend time with but our work schedules collide and it’s just easier to go to The Impastas and talk for an hour. Sasha has this special place in my heart though.

_-Sorry, but you got to win back my love from Sasha-_

**_-Those are rich words from someone who rejected her pie-_ **

_-You have lost 20 Marco love points. You are at -50 -_

Now why I typed that, I’ll never know. Maybe because Ymir uses it on me sometimes, especially when I was little and didn’t want to disappoint big cousin Ymir.

**_-Well I’ll see what I can do about that ;) -_ **

I look over at the clock on the wall and realize I need to finish my lunch so I can go help Armin.

_-Good luck. I got to go now-_

**_-Go foster the youths of America-_ **

**2:40 PM**

“Come here often?”

Jean’s voice snaps me out of my trance of staring at the students walking down to meet their parents at the carline. I automatically smile and turn to nudge his side playfully.

“Five days a week.”

“Man, that’s rough.” He says with a smile, returning a nudge to my side. He watches me for a second, eyes shining like he has something planned. “So…. how many ‘Marco love points’ will I get for giving you a shit ton of kisses.

The image of Jean pressing his lips against mine, or vice versa flashes in my mind. He wouldn’t- He’s my best friend- But would I even mind it? I laugh softly, brushing away any awkward thoughts before I could react to my own insanity.

“Pfft- None.. because like you would smother me in kisses.”

I feel a thud against my chest and I grasp a gigantic bag of Hershey chocolate kisses. I look up in surprise at Jean laughing at my confusion. “Consider yourself smothered.”

My body betrays me and my cheeks turn red. I start laughing because I can’t believe I would even consider Jean wanting to kiss me- “Oh my god! You pulled the Hershey kiss trick.” I shake my head and look down at the bag, “Okay. Consider yourself at the top of my list now.”

“Good, that’s where I like to be. On top.” Jean winks at me as he takes out a lollipop.

I roll my eyes and speak without thinking. “You’re so lame. Don’t give me reasons to put you back on bottom.”

“Not as lame as you.” Jean sticks out his tongue at me and pops the lollipop in his mouth. I make an incoherent noise of agreement as I watch his lips as his tongue peeks out between them before disappearing. I roll my bottom lip between my teeth unconsciously. I can’t let my thoughts wander, not now. I force myself to change the topic.

“So.. it Hitch being slow again?” I ask.

“Basically… She’s purposely being irritating. One word: Marlowe.” He says, a disgusted look on his face.

“You stepping up your dad game?” I smile softly, because I know all too well how he feels about Hitch seeing Marlowe.

“I feel the sex talk coming.” Jean says, shuddering at the thought. I feel my own face pulling into a grimace because my mom has this sick idea of pinning the sex talk on the older siblings, thinking it would have more of an impact. Getting the sex talk from Ymir, a lesbian, of all people was terrifying!

“I feel you on that. My parents made me, of all people, tell Isaac. And they gave the job of telling me to Ymir.”

I glance over to see Jean smirk at me, “I can’t imagine any of that was fun. Although I imagine Ymir was… informative.”

“Getting a sex talk from a lesbian isn’t that informative so much actually..” I lie because I don’t need to go into what Ymir went into depth about.

Jean bursts into laughter and I turn to see Hitch walking towards us.

“Well, well, well if you two don’t look like the epitome of a shitty porno, I don’t know what does. I mean seriously Jean, you’re eating lollipops now?” She grins, shifting her bag on her shoulder. I try and block out anything she says sometimes because I just know what she’s hinting at.

“I’m quitting smoking- for you- so shut it because this helps.” Jean rolls his eyes at her. I smile, because it makes me happy to hear Jean quitting smoking- even though I really didn’t know he was smoking before.

“You two have a good weekend.” I say, ushering the conversation on.

“I’ll see you at the restaurant, you can’t escape me that easily Mr. B” Hitch grins mischievously at me.

“Probably not this weekend.” I say softly, crossing my arms. I won’t be out of the house much because practicing for date night is top priority, “So I’ll see you Monday.”

“Lame. I’m not responsible for any actions Sasha and Connie take against you then.” Hitch says as Jean rolls his eyes and he pulls at her hood, tugging her away from me.

“Come on, spawn of Satan. We have to go hook up your keyboard so you can continue being teacher’s pet.” Jean smiles at me and I smile back. It’s only a few seconds before he nods and tells me bye, but I got lost staring at his smile.

“See you guys.” I nod in return and turn to head back inside and grab my things to go home for the weekend.

♫

**Saturday, Dec. 6th**

I stretch, making a noise of pleasure as my back unkinks itself from me being hunched over for hours of practicing on the piano. I don’t know why but the song ‘Always Gold’ is tough for me right now. I keep messing up near the end, but I am getting it. The rest I did a run through, and I seem to have those down.

Getting up from my chair, I grab my laptop and lay down on my stomach on my bed next to Tuff, who has been sleeping for about an hour. I lean over and nuzzle my nose into the top of her head and her ears flick before a low purr rumbles from her.

I return my attention back to the open document on my laptop titled _Jean’s Christmas CD_. I have 11 songs down so far, and it’s the ones for date night. I have to keep thinking of songs to record for him. I bite my lip in thought, before typing out Stolen Dance - Milky Chance on the list. I don’t know what he really likes to listen to- I got to ask Connie to see if he knows any ideas.

Pausing, I stare at my computer screen. What does Jean like? He.. likes to joke around, he likes pasta it seems- he.. liked to smoke? He loves Hitch. He loves Connie and Sasha. He likes hanging out with me- he likes nerf guns, and making brownies.. I know he hates his parents, his job, he worries over Hitch-

I don’t know that much about him.. Which in my mind makes me a crappy friend I guess. But what do I like about him? Almost everything- I love the way he smiles and laughs, the way his eyes light up when he’s joking around. I love the way he nudges my side to get my attention, and his stubbornness- I can’t figure out if I love that the most or hate it.. Like when we were stealing each other’s hats because he refused to stay at home where it was warm. The tension and the way he looked at me with a ‘make me’ expression. I wanted to. In the back of my mind I could have taken his jaw in my hand and kiss him silly, lips raw, till his hands couldn’t grip my hat anymore…

Stop- stop.

 _Don’t think about him that way. Don’t you dare think about him that way_. My sanity screams at me. _Don’t you dare ruin this. Don’t you dare drive him away with your possessive impulses. What are you going to do then?_

Then?

_When you drive him away and you’re alone again. Can you deal with that? Can you deal with being alone again? He’s not yours. He never was. Don’t think he’s your friend alone. Got it?_

…..Got it.

 _Don’t get too close. Don’t let him see you’re broken. Don’t let the scars be seen anymore. Don’t let the insecurities and fear out. Remember what happened the last time you messed up? Be there for him, that’s all you can do._   

“Right…” I breath softly, speaking to no one but myself. I close my laptop and push it away from me to bury my face in the covers.

“Fuck.”

♫

Monday, Dec. 8th

The seat where Hitch usually sits is blatantly there but Hitch is not. “Has anyone seen Hitch today?” I ask, pausing on roll call. Maybe she’s skipping?

“She’s absent.” A front seat student calls back at me. I just nod a thank you and make a note to myself. She’s probably sick- no one’s invincible, not even Hitch.

2:30 rolls around and I leave school fairly quickly when all my duties are done. I pull my phone out and send a text to Jean as I’m trudging up the sidewalk to my apartment.

_-Everything okay with Hitch?-_

**_-She’ll be okay-_ **

I don’t like the sound of his reply. Something has to have happened and it doesn’t sound like she simply got the cold or anything. I hold my breath for a second, the knot in my stomach growing tighter. Something’s not right.

_-Are you okay?-_

I want to call him- because I have a hunch to what it might be-

_**-Parents are shitty-** _

There it is.. I exhale a loud sigh and stare at the message. I don’t know everything, but I know enough to make me want to do something about it.. but I don’t know what. All I can do is let him.. them.. know I’m here.

_-I’m sorry.. You can tell her I didn’t assign any new homework-_

**_-Thanks Marco-_ **

_-Do you need anything?-_

**_-No I’m okay. I made vegetable soup earlier and now Hitch is passed out on top of me-_ **

I laugh softly to myself because that’s the cutest image I can think of. Cute and sweet.

_-Cute. You two take it easy tonight-_

**_-You take it easy too-_ **

**_-I will_ -**

**Tuesday, Dec. 9th**

**5:30 AM**

My alarm makes my head feel like there’s a jackhammer going off- pounding at my brain into the side of my head. Please don’t let me be sick. I reach over and turn off my alarm and sit up too quickly, making my head spin and I pitch forward and rest my head in my lap. I inhale sharply to clear my head and sit back up to get out of bed very slowly so I don’t end up on the floor. Making it to the bathroom, I take the thermometer out and stick it under my tongue, leaning against the sink till I hear the tiny beep from the device. I pinch the bridge of my nose as I focus on the tiny numbers that read 101.6. Well shoot… I have a fever.

I go to grab my phone and call up the school to request a substitute teacher to cover for me and a simple in class reading assignment. After that, I crawl back under my covers because my head is pounding and my body feels like it can’t even keep me up if I decide to get up and do something. Tuff curls up under my chin to help keep me warm, and I fall back asleep fairly quickly.

**3:00 PM**

My phone makes the most obnoxiously loud ring that isn’t that bad when I’m healthy but good god I don’t want to be receiving messages right now. I roll over to the edge of my bed, wrapping myself up in more covers as I go. I grab my glasses and my phone to see who’s texting me.

**_-Hitch says you were ditching class and the substitute teacher was a ‘total buttface.’-_ **

I sigh and sit up, rubbing at my eyes like this was some kind of call for me to get up and do stuff instead of laying in bed all day. But other than that, I’m in no mood to joke around.

_-If you call being sick ‘ditching’ then sure-_

**_-You’re sick?-_ **

He sounds like it’s a rare thing for me to get sick?

_-I woke up with a fever. It’s gone down some tho-_

**_-shit, I’m sorry. That sucks. I’ll bring you soup-_ **

_-You don’t have to bring me soup, I’m fine-_

**_-Dude let me please-_ **

**_-Think of it as more for me than you… I’m trying to avoid work-_ **

I run a hand through my hair tiredly, staring at his messages. I shouldn’t. I should not help him distract from work and I could easily get him sick if he comes here.

_Please._

Ugh.. it’s like I’m imagining a puppy right now. I can’t say no.

_-Okay okay. Don’t blame me if you get sick too-_

_**-I’ll be fine-** _

I yawn and get out of bed to take some medicine and take a seat in front of my piano to keep practicing because I need to do something.

I stay seated for about thirty minutes until a loud knock comes from the front door. I pause for a minute and stretch, scratching the back of my neck as I trudge to open up the door. I open it up to see Jean holding a bag with a smile on his face. “Hey slacker.” I say, standing out of the way to let him in. I forgot I am still in my pj pants and a tshirt but who cares right now. It’s just Jean and I’m tired.

Jean steps inside and I close the door behind him. “I could say the same thing to you. You look like death.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” I mutter, “I feel like death.” I say, rolling my eyes and moving to rest my glasses in my hair.

"I brought soup, crackers and juice."

"What kind of soup?" I automatically ask, standing there in a daze because I started feeling a little lightheaded again.

"Vegetable. I made it last night for Hitch.... It's her favorite."

“Right right..” I say, rubbing my eyes as I lead him to the kitchen. I should have known that. He told me he made it for Hitch yesterday. “Oh- I got some allergy medicine while I was out the other day.” I say because I figured that if Jean was going to be around me and Tuff, I sure was going to make sure he wasn’t sneezing the whole time.

“I took some already but I’ll need some more soon… Where is Tuff anyways?” He asks, looking around the kitchen floor like she might be hiding somewhere.

“Bedroom I think.” I say, my feet automatically dragging me to my bedroom. I find Tuff snuggled up on my pillow and I smile, kissing her head before I take her in my arms. “Play nice please.. okay sweetie?” I beg, scratching her ears to put her in a good mood.

“She fell asleep listening to me play.” I laugh softly, reentering the kitchen. Jean is unpacking the bag on the counter as he looks over at me.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping and resting?” He raises an eyebrow at me. I just shrug, it kills me not to do anything all day.

“I slept in, but I need to get stuff done. I can’t just lie around all day.”  

“Well sit around for at least a little bit and eat this. Where are your bowls?”

“Cabinet.” I murmur, pointing up above Jean’s head as I lean against the counter. I watch him reach up to grab a bowl before pulling off his beanie and running a hand through his hair. I can feel myself staring at him so I force myself to look to the floor.

“I feel like you are one of those people who refuses to believe they need rest.” Jean says as he dishes out soup into the bowl and sticks it in the microwave for a minute.

I can’t help but shrug, setting Tuff down on the floor. “I’ve had too much rest over the past few years…” I say, trailing off in my words because it’s the truth. I don’t even notice how long I stare at the floor in silence till Jean snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Eat this.”

I look up to him holding the bowl out to me, crackers and all in it. I laugh softly and take it in my hands, “Okay okay.” I lean over to the drawer to grab a spoon out as Jean crouches down to Tuff who’s at my feet, more interested in the good smelling food that’s in my hands.

“Hey Tuff..” Jean says to her, his voice low as he holds out a hand to her, “I just want to be your friend.” He adds on in a barely audible whisper but I manage to catch it and it makes me smile to myself. I scoop up some soup in my spoon and eat it. God- he’s such a good cook.. I can be a happy person if I can be around his plus Connie and Sasha’s cooking. I close my eyes because I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.. and this just tastes amazing.

“Hi baby.” I hear Jean practically coo and I open one eye to see him and Tuff getting along well. She’s rubbing her head against his hand as he scratched under her neck and strokes her back. Tuff’s loud purr resonates from her chest and it just brings a smile to my face because my baby and my best friend get along.

“You can pick her up, she likes to be held.”

Jean laughs and scoops her up, situating her in his arms before standing to lean against the counter. “She’s cute.” He hums, still looking down at her.

“She’s the most important thing in my life-” I quickly add on, “But I’m glad she likes you.” Setting my half eaten bowl aside, I place myself next to Jean and scratch at Tuff’s ears. I sort of lean against his shoulder to help keep myself upright but he’s warm too- and it’s a nice feeling.

“How’s the soup?” Jean asks, looking over at me.

I don’t divert my attention from Tuff, “Fantastic, I haven’t really eaten much today.” I admit. I glance up fast enough to catch him rolling his eyes at me.

“Because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you are sick.” The sarcasm is evident in his voice.

“Look I’m sorry I don’t act like a normal sick person.” I mutter, moving away to pick my bowl back up and finish eating. Jean shifts Tuff into one arm and takes out a lollipop to eat. He grimaces, shifting it to one side of his mouth.

“I hate these stupid things.”

I watch him for a second, analyzing the way he scrunches his nose as he tries to compensate for a cigarette with the lollipop. “You’re trying to stop smoking.. right?”

Jean just nods like he doesn’t want to admit anything else, his hand scratching at Tuff’s ears. I smile and nudge his arm with my elbow. “I’m proud of you for it.” I say softly, because breaking bad habits is something to be proud of.  

"Yeah yeah yeah." He dismisses my compliment. He pauses for a second and I watch him stiffen, setting Tuff down on the floor. "I think I'll need that allergy medicine." He says like he's trying to hold in a sneeze so his voice is congested.

"Gotcha." I turn to walk to the bathroom and grab the unopened bottle of allergy pills from the cabinet above the sink. I hold the bottle out to Jean when I return and he takes it from me, dumping a few into the palm of his hand.

As he dry swallows, Tuff meows loudly at me. I sigh and lean down to pick her up and let her rest in my shoulder. "You're a lazy baby." I murmur, tilting my head to kiss her nose, "a lazy furry baby." I close my eyes and lean my head against her.

"And I thought Hitch was lazy. I swear if I got her a cat, she would just learn how lazy people could get." Jean says with a laugh and all I can muster out as a response is a small chuckle.

I open my eyes to see Jean lean back against the counter, smiling over at me. "Hitch says that the substitute was evil and she missed you in class even if you don't let her chew gum."

"I'm guessing the substitute was Gunther.. Maybe? He's the usual substitute teacher."

Jean just shrugs. "She said something about a stupid haircut... But honestly she's dating Marlowe so she can't pass judgement."

I burst out laughing because that's Gunther alright, with hair that I don't know how to describe. "Most likely Gunther." I say, shifting to make sure Tuff is firmly seated on my shoulder so I have my hands free to finish off the soup that almost forgot about.

Jean laughs along with me, "Have you told Connie and Sasha that you are sick?"

"No..." I make a face, "I wasn't going to tell anyone. It's not that big of a deal."

"Well they will bring enough food to feed a small nation." I groan because it's true and I don't need any more drama from them.

"Don't you dare tell them because I already got enough trouble with Sasha trying to hook me up with people."

"Old news man- Sasha is trying to get me to date half the town." Jean says laughing.

I feel my face scrunch up and I set the empty bowl in the sink and pinch the bridge of my nose. What is it with them wanting to always set people up? I can't tell if I'm more upset over the fact that they are persistent, or the thought of Jean getting hooked up with people is just as unsettling.

"That's how I feel about it." Jean throws me a sympathetic smile.

"I don't get how the concept of not wanting to date right now is so hard to grasp."  

"They are in love and in love with the idea of love... Or whatever."

"That makes no sense but it sounds correct for them." I shrug my shoulders and sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "I dunno.. It's just complicated for me right now..." I say softly. Things would probably be a hell of a lot easier if I just worked past my problems. Jean just snorts at my remark and rubs at his eye. I raise an eyebrow because I wasn't trying to be funny.

"What's so funny?"

“Nothing. It’s just that ‘it’s complicated’ sums just about everything up.”

I make some kind of noise in regard that I at least heard him but I don’t say anything else. What’s _everything_? Is it literally just everything in general, everything about Connie and Sasha, about him, about me? About us? I don’t know-

I take Tuff off my shoulder and move away from the counter. “Come on.. let’s go sit on the couch.” I say, my feet carrying me to the couch and I hear Jean follow behind me. I take a seat on my not so big couch and pull my feet up to cross them under me so I have a nice space in my lap for Tuff to rest in. Jean sits down at the other end with his back against the arm of the couch.

“Thanks for the soup.” I say, looking up over at him.

“It’s no big deal.” He says, waving my thanks off. I am not healthy enough to actually think of some good conversation topics, so I tilt my head back and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. If it’s one thing I like, it’s sitting in silence with the company of others.

“Are you tired..? I should go…?” Jean suddenly says but his tone is more confused and questioning rather than ‘I’m going to go’.

“You should not.” I say without skipping a beat or let him have time to think it over- I mean- he’s not bothering me.. Am I bothering him? “Unless I’m boring you?” I add on.

“No- I just didn’t want to bother you. Or keep you from working on stuff.” Screw working on stuff, I just didn’t want to feel guilty for staying in bed all day.

“I wasn’t working on anything all day really, just piano for a little bit.”

“You can play- still- if you want.” He offers.

I laugh softly, tilting my head towards him as it still rested on the back of the couch. “Piano is situated in my room, not feeling moving right now.”

“I see you take after Tuff.” Jean says as he tilts his own head to rest on the couch and closes his eyes. I chuckle, watching him relax.

“Nah, I’m just overall tired.”

“I worked until 5 am this morning- with Hitch passed out on me.” He yawns mid sentence. I raise an eyebrow at the mention of his work.

“Yet you are still going to work all night tonight.. aren’t you.” I say, probably sounding like I’m chastising him. That earns a laugh from him.

“You know me so well.” I watch him for a few seconds, his eyes still closed and his chest rises and falls with his breathing. I can tell he’s tired, and I don’t like that he’s tired.

“Can’t we compromise that you sleep tonight because I’m sick?” I say softly, maybe I’m able to get away with what I pulled over Thanksgiving.

“That’s not very logical.” I see a smile curl on his lips like he’s using my own words against me.

“You coming to give me soup just to avoid work isn’t logical.” I retort.

“Yeah yeah yeah.” He waves my comment away for what.. the third time today? I can’t help but smile and look down at Tuff.

“Did you have any pets when you were younger?”

“No. I’ve had a lot of friends and exes with them though.” The mention of exes leaves me with nothing to say. I don’t like to talk about it- so I just hum, running my fingers through Tuff’s fur.

“Have you had Tuff since you were a kid?”

“Uh-” I stumble over my words, looking up at him then over to the side, “No… I got her two years ago, so better words would be she had me since she was a kid.”

“Hitch would just die if she saw Tuff.” Jean says rolling his eyes. “She brings up getting a cat or a dog just about every other day.”

“But your allergies…”  

“I could deal. Hypoallergenic or some shit.”

“Please don’t get a hairless cat.”

Jean snorts trying to hold in a laugh, “I’m sure Tuff wouldn’t be prejudice against a hairless cat.”

“N-No. It’s just that hairless cats are kinda creepy- I mean they are sweet but it takes a while to get used to them-” I don’t know where I’m going with this.

“I never thought you would be a cat racist Marco.” Jean mocks, jokingly shaking his head in shame. I groan, tilting my head back in defeat.

“I’m not even going to argue.”

“So how many ‘Marco love points’ do I have right now.” Jean says, propping his feet up over my knee.

“Dude.. I don’t even know.” I mutter, rubbing my eyes. “Does it even matter??” He has to bring this back up? I need to stop saying things that he can use against me.

“Hey. You established the whole point system. I better be beating Sasha is all I’m saying.”

“I’ll let you know if Sasha is back in the lead.” I say as I wave my hand to dismiss the conversation.

“Liar.” He accuses with a laugh.

“If I forget about it, I’m sure you’ll remind me.” I give him a knowing look.

“You bet your ass I will.” He grins, “But that’s because I’m annoying.”

“That you are-” I fight off a yawn till I’m done with my sentence.

“Your yawning-” Jean yawns as well, “Is making me yawn.”

“We both need sleep.” I say laughing, glancing over at the clock. 5:00 PM.

“I think it’s called being an adult.” Jean says with a smile as he slips further down the couch. “I can go if you want to sleep.” I don’t want him to leave, I mean I need sleep but can’t we be stupid teenagers or something and just pass out right here?

“Or we could just both pass out on my couch.” I offer, half joking half serious, with a laugh.

“That sounds like the best thing ever.” Jean runs a hand through his hair with a yawn. My mind screams at me to tell him to stay, that I don’t want to be left alone today. But only the reverse comes out of my mouth.

“But, you should probably sleep in your own bed.”

Jean shrugs his shoulders, “Yeah.” He says to my dismay and shifts to stand up. I follow suit, letting Tuff jump on to the floor.

“Thanks again for the soup.” I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

“No problem.”

Jean glances at me and he shifts his weight from foot to foot like he’s mulling over something. I fight the urge to hold out my arms for a hug because I don’t want to get him sick, so I must be just as awkward looking as well. I don’t know how long the silence carries on, and I still glance at him before he finally says something.

“Bye.”

Right right, I have to let him get home and on with his life. I force a smile on my face and nod, trying my best to look like I’m okay with this. “See you.”

“Yup.” He says, turning to open the door and leave, closing it behind him. I shift my weight to one leg and run a hand through my hair. That was bittersweet.

**Wednesday, Dec. 10th**

“Marco, what are your plans for the weekend.” Armin asks as he walks beside me, both our arms stacked full of books to return to the library.

“Oh- well, after school Friday I’m going to help some friends out by playing piano at their restaurant so they can hold a date night.” I glance to the side and pause, “You, Eren and Mikasa can come if you want?”

Armin waves his hand with a head shake, “No no that’s okay. We’re all going out of state for a two day trip.”

“Oh, well have fun!” I laugh, setting the books down when we enter the library. Armin smiles and looks up at me.

“You have fun too, don’t nab any dates while on the job.” He teases and I roll my eyes.

**Friday, December 12th**

I head straight for The Impastas after I finish some weekend work at school before I leave, not bothering to go home and change because I look decent enough with my work clothes. I step inside the restaurant at 4:00 pm, the place isn’t packed, but Sasha is running around preparing things. She spots me and rolls over, “Hey! Glad you could make it.”

I laugh softly, walking up to meet her, “I can’t leave you guys hanging. What do you need me to do?” I ask.

“Date night doesn’t officially start till 5 so you can rest easy for an hour.” She beams at me. I smile and nod, going to hang out in the kitchen before the fun starts.

At 5, Sasha tells me I’m good to go and I take a seat at the awfully painted piano that sits up on the stage. The place is slowly beginning to fill up but I’m staring at the piano keys, looking up for a second to see Jean walking in and taking a seat at an empty booth. I smile to myself and wait for Sasha to give the cue before I start playing the first song, Glad You Came.

♫

I go through a little more than half of the songs, often repeating them because I need to drag this out through the whole night. I shift in my seat when the applause ends and Sasha slides up next to me on stage.

“Man this place is packed.” She grins. I smile at how hard everyone’s been working. Hitch and Sasha have been zipping around the place taking orders; I know Connie is in the kitchen and Jean is sitting at the same place he initially sat down at. He has this grumpy expression as he’s sipping at a drink. He literally hasn’t moved much for a few hours, of course he had some women and a few men come up and talk with him. Somehow I figure Sasha has been trying to hook him up but he has look so uninterested all night.

“Can we call it a success then?” I laugh softly to myself and stretch, my back stiff from sitting here for so long. “I’m glad everyone is enjoying themselves.”

“I would definitely call this a success!” Sasha says joyfully as she presses her hands to my cheeks and squeezes my face, “Oooh you are just the best..” She coos before releasing me. I wince and rub at my cheeks. “Now, tell me. Can I get you anything? Drink.. bread.. one of Jean’s brownies?” I can feel myself perk up at the mention of Jean’s brownies and she places a hand on her hip just like Hitch would, giving me a look of ‘I dare you to say you’re fine.’ She knows she’s got me.

I snort from trying to hold in my laugh as I stand up from the bench. “If I can go take a break, a water and brownie then.” I smile, poking her nose playfully to match her joy, “And stop standing like Hitch- I don’t need two of her.”

She ignores my Hitch comment as shoos me away, “Go on, take a break. I’ll entertain the crowd.”

“Please don’t kill anyone while doing so.” I call as I step down from the stage and weave my way through the crowd towards Jean. I get stopped a couple of times by couples who compliment me on my playing and I pause for a few seconds each time to thank them and ensure they are having a nice night before I move on.

“You look like a fish out of water sitting here by yourself.” I say as I slide into the empty side of the booth. I thought of saying ‘come here often’ but that’s Jean’s phrase.

“Don’t you mean a horse out of stable?” Jean mutters dryly, taking another sip of his coke. I raise an eyebrow because he sounds bored to death.

“You don’t have to be here all night.” I say softly, rolling my eyes at his tone. “I’ve seen a few people come over and talk with you…” I try to change the topic, “Anyone interesting?”

“If by interesting you mean crazy.” He tosses a smile at me and I smile brightly back. “And there are plenty of reasons to stay all night.” He adds, giving me a look that makes me hold my breath so I just hum before looking out at the crowded restaurant.

“Hitch is doing a good job tonight.” I quickly say, changing the topic again.

“I’m proud.” Jean says softly, glancing down at the table.

“I’m proud too.” I smile, almost talking without thinking. “She’s a good kid and lucky to have a brother like you.”

Something weird passes over Jean’s face and he mutters under his breath. I can barely hear it over the noise but I know what he said. _Probably could have had a better one._

I  don’t know what to say- well I mean I do but tonight should be fun- not serious. I don’t know how to approach this cheerfully. “Shhhhh.” I end up hushing him and reach across the table to run my hands through his hair, “Don’t make me go get Sasha.”

He laughs and bats my hand away, “Don’t get Sasha. She’ll make me eat more.”

I grin because there’s that laugh I love to hear and I retreat my hands and lean back in the booth. “Speaking of food, she promised she would bring me out a brownie.”

“I made three hundred of those- I never want to see another brownie.. ever.” Jean groans loudly.

“Fair enough,” I laugh and shift out of the booth. “Be right back.” I smile and turn to head towards the bathroom. I wish I could talk with him more tonight but I’m the entertainment- this is pretty much my only break till the end. Not that I’m complaining but I don’t like seeing him sit there all alone-

Him all alone means that he will more likely get a date- which.. should be good for him.. I mull over the thoughts as I exit the bathroom and pass by the bar area until someone grabs my sleeve and jerks me to a stop. I pause and look down at the hand then look up at the woman it belonged to.

“Ah- Can… I help you?” I ask politely.

She looks me up and down and I can see the intent in her eyes. “Mmmm.. You’re the piano player, right?” She gives me a smile.

I nod and shift my weight from one foot to another, “Yes I am.”

She hums appreciatively which makes me want to run but I don’t. She runs her fingers along my arm and down to my hand. “Polite, talented, and handsome.” She says, shifting off her stool to stand uncomfortably close to me. “How about we hook up sometime?” She holds out a business card between her fingers to me and I take it. She waits for me to agree or decline but the only urge I have is to look to Jean as a help.

I got to somehow play this off smoothly- so I take her chin between my fingers and tilt it up, giving a small smile. “Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline.”

She doesn’t seem offended but she taps my lips with her finger, “Alright dear, but keep me in mind if you ever need company, you know who to call.”

She takes a seat back at the bar and I quickly return back to Jean and take a seat, trying not to seem too awkward.

“Meet anyone nice?” Jean raises an eyebrow with a knowing smile. He saw-

“Oh- uhh…” I rub the back of my neck, “She was a little persistent… but nice.” I say, because that could have gone a lot worse but it’s not often I get hit on.

“Did you get a phone number?” He grins, moving his eyebrows annoyingly. I roll my eyes at his teasing.

“She gave me a business card.” I say quietly, glancing away.

Jean laughs and leans forward on his elbows. “Hot date.”

“No date.” I correct, my brows furrowing as I cross my arms. I don’t want to talk about this-

“Heart breaker.” Jean says as he leans back and takes out a lollipop.

“Am not-” I swear my voice cracks because I just want to have a nice night where I don’t have to worry about this- especially around Jean.

“Just ask all the single ladies of Trost.”

“Shut up- I rarely get asked out as it is-” I try to drop this conversation. I have not dated anyone for nearly three years, for good reason- Jean’s laugh cuts me off from my thoughts.

“Oh I remember a certain someone who asked you out.”

I feel time stop. I feel myself stop breathing as I try and not look surprised or to keep myself from blushing like I usually do. Is he really bringing that up now? Now of all times and places. For one- he never officially asked me out- I don’t think going up to someone you’ve never met and say ‘are you single’ counts. Two- I probably would have not gone out with him because we just met. And three- does he not realize… how much.. he means to me as a friend right now?

I feel like I should be embarrassed, or at least laugh it off but I don’t. I feel upset… and I have to get away before I make a mistake.

I move to get up, “I should get back.” I say, rubbing the back on my neck. “I’ll… just get a brownie at the end.” I mumble.

“Break a leg.” Jean nods to me like he didn’t say anything different as he kicks up his legs on to the opposite side of the booth where I sat, his lollipop hanging from his mouth.

“Sure….” I mumble, turning away to walk towards the stage. Sasha rolls up to me, leaning into my side.

“You ready for more?” She hums.

“Yeah..” I unconsciously shrug my shoulders- but really I should be happy to be here. I force a smile, “Can’t have you entertaining them forever.” I joke.

“Puns, puns, puns.” She chants before skating off. I take a seat at the piano again and look over the list to where I left off, Counting Stars. I try to calm down, and playing helps. But I have the urge to go home and crawl under my covers because I don’t handle situations as well as I used to.

The night carries on till about 10:30 pm and I look up from finishing the song Safe and Sound. Jean has moved from his seat and is walking towards the door with his arm around some man’s waist. Time stops again. He doesn’t even look my way as he laughs with a stranger at his waist. He’s gone out the door and I can’t hear anything- it feels like the world is silent even though I’m sitting in this crowded restaurant.

I want to cry. I feel alone. So I continue to play.

It’s 11:30 and I finish playing Always Gold. I take the microphone that is near me in my hands.

“I hope everyone has had a wonderful night, thank you for all who came. I hope you enjoyed yourselves, I know I have. So before this night ends, I would like to play something special for you.”

I shift the microphone in front of me and I take a breath. I feel eyes watching me, because this is the unplanned part of the night.

My hands start to play. And I open my mouth to sing.

♫

_“Here I am waiting_

_I’ll have to leave soon_

_Why am I.. holding on?_

_We knew this day would come_

_We knew it all along_

_How did it come so fast?”_

I lose myself in the song, because I am thinking of all my relationships.. with my friends.. my family.. exes.. but it all boils down to now. I don’t want anyone right now. I don’t deserve anyone right now. I can’t date anyone.. but Jean can just leave like it doesn’t matter with who knows who. I can’t. I can’t bring myself to drown any sorrows that way.

_“And when the daylight comes, I’ll have to go_

_But tonight I’m gonna hold you so close_

_Cause in the daylight, we’ll be on our own.._

_But tonight I need to hold you so close..”_

There is silence, then applause when I end. I can barely bring myself to smile when I stand up to move off stage for the final time tonight. Sasha rolls up to meet me, a huge grin on her face.

“You sang!” She laughs, “That was some surprise.”

I laugh softly, nodding my head. “It seemed fitting.”

“It totally was- You nearly had me in tears. Where’s Jean? He should have some good input on this.”

“He-” I smile like nothing’s wrong, “He left with someone earlier.” I say. That’s right, he didn’t hear any of this.. I’m fine with that.

“What? He hooked up with someone without me?” She seems offended but I know she means well.

“Do you need any more help tonight Sash?” I ask.

“Nope, we got everything covered.” She beams, “You go home and get rest. You did a fantastic job tonight.” She wraps her arms around me in a hug and I return it.

“Thanks, I had fun.” I laugh softly, breaking the hug.

“Expect nothing less around us.” Sasha hums and nudges my side. “Get home safe Marco.”

I nod and wish her goodnight as she goes back to finishing up for the night. I grab my jacket and bag from behind their podium and leave, humming Daylight as I walk back home. I never did get to eat one of his brownies either. 


	12. A Thousand Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Taco Night, drunk Connie and Sasha, Christmas and New Years. Marco will hopefully face a better year ahead of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry that this has been late. We just ended finals and are on spring break today. Thanks for patiently waiting and supporting us. Will be working hard to bring you the next chapters. Next chapter might take a while because we got an important thing planned out but you guys will love it <3  
> -PencilOnly

** Saturday, December 13th **

**1 PM**

I lay back in the bath, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Tuff, why am I so stupid sometimes?” I ask Tuff who’s sitting by my head on the edge of the tub. She responds with a purr and a nuzzle against my head as if saying ‘ _You are stupid most of the time. You’re my stupid human.’_

“Okay.” I breath, not even bothering to keep my thoughts to myself because I need to talk this out. “I do not need to be so down about this. It is a good thing Jean found someone. I need to accept that. He’s happy, I’m happy.” I reassure myself.

Sitting up, I lean forward and dunk my face into the water before straightening back up and running my hands through my hair. I take a deep breath. _Keep yourself together Marco._ I reach to unplug the drain and get out of the tub, grabbing a towel to dry myself off before walking to my room with it around my waist to slip on my boxer briefs.

Tuff runs behind me and jumps up on my bed in one fluid movement, pacing around as she waits for me to get dressed. ‘Get dressed’ as in I get on my underwear before she wants me to pay attention to her. I laugh and sit down on the edge of my bed and run my fingers through her fur. “You’re getting spoiled.” I state matter of factly.

She doesn’t seem to care or react to my statement, only too preoccupied with being petted. I smile and lay back on the bed, letting her walk on my chest and sit there as I scratch under her chin.

“Baby girl, I love you.” I hum, smiling happily as she leans into my fingers. “Where would I be without you?” I ask her, sitting up after I secure her in my arms.

“Come on, I need to work on Jean’s Christmas present.” I say as I carry her over to my piano, setting her on my lap after I sit down before I start to get things situated to start recording.

**_-Marcooo!!!-_ **

_-Yes Sasha?-_

**_-The correct response was polo-_ **

I roll my eyes to myself and officially abandon my work until I figure out what Sasha needs, other than messing with me.

_-Polo-_

**_-Good good!-_ **

_-Something you need?-_

**_-Oh yeah! You’re coming to taco night right!?-_ **

I rub my forehead- right.. I forgot about Taco night.

_-Tomorrow… right?-_

**_-Si muchacho-_ **

_-What time?-_

**_-Like 5ish-_ **

_-Need me to bring anything?-_

**_-Only your cute self ;)-_ **

_-The only person you should be calling cute is Connie-_

**_-I call Connie sexy and hot. Cute is for puppy dogs and you are a puppy Marco Bodt-_ **

_-.......Okay fine… I will accept that-_

**_-Good-_ **

_-See you tomorrow-_

**_-See you Marky Marc-_ **

_-I. Hate. You. with love but still-_

**_- <3-_ **

I laugh softly to myself because it’s… just Sasha. I love her to death, even if she does take joy in messing with me.

**Sunday, Dec. 14th**

**5 PM**

I arrive at The Impastas a little after five, and I have to pause at the entrance because the restaurant is so empty. Connie catches my attention as he walks over.

“MARRRRCO!” He yells as one hand holds a beer and the other holds a bowl of lettuce.

“Hey Connie.” I smile with a nod, my eyes watching the bowl that’s balanced in his hand. “Do you need help with anything?” I ask because I feel useless not being able to help with setting up.

“Sit down, loosen your belt and get ready to vamos a la playa!” Connie says in a.. well not so decent Spanish accent. I watch Sasha come up behind him and wrap her arms around his neck, kissing his temple with a roll of her eyes.

“Hey cutie patootie.” She grins.

“Hey honey bunches.” Connie says and Sasha drives her finger into his side with a laugh.

“Not you hot stuff. Bodt over there is the cutie patootie.” She smiles brightly and I give Connie a ‘sorry’ look.

“At least she thinks you are the hot one.” I say to him.

“I am the hot one, but she’s right. You are adorable.” Connie says with a wink.

I roll my eyes and laugh, “Mhhhm. Thaaaanks Connie. That’s something I want to hear from you alright.”

“Go sit down loser.” Connie retorts with a laugh. I am about to say something but the door dings and Jean walks in, looking very cold and exhausted in gym shorts and an exercise shirt.

“Sorry I’m late-” He says, trying to catch his breath. I hold my breath to keep from laughing at the sight and walk over, stopping in front of him to run my hands through his hair because it was sticking up in every direction.

“You’re a mess.” I say with a smile.

Jean rolls his eyes and bats my hand away, “I got back on my running schedule.” He says, taking a few deep breaths.

I take a step back, “In the middle of December?”

“There’s never a bad time to run from your problems.” Connie snickers, leaning his head into Sasha. Jean flips him off and runs his fingers through his hair. I smile softly and pat Jean’s back to say he means well before going to sit down at a table. Jean turns and heads off to the bathroom.

“I’m going to grab the meat.” Sasha says as she squeeze Connie’s sides.

“I’ll start making the tortillas. Marco hang tight, I’m sure grumpy McGee will be out of the bathroom soon.” Connie says to me.

“Mhhhm, please don’t burn anything.” I smile.

“Please. I am a professional.” He says as he walks away with Sasha. I lean my elbows on the table and close my eyes. I take a deep breath, listening to the Spanish music they have playing in the restaurant. They go all out, that’s for sure.

“Hola.” I open my eyes to see Jean walking over. He has changed into jeans and a pullover with the red beanie he always wears. I smile because some things about him have just become familiar sight.

“Hey. Long time no see.” I joke because we just saw each other on Friday.

“Oh yeah, I’ve missed you dearly.” Jean mocks, fluttering his eyelashes as he sits down. I have the stupid urge to call him out on leaving without saying goodbye. But thank god for willpower.

“Mhhhm. Maybe not too much.” I simply say.

He raises an eyebrow at me and sips his water with a questioning look. I glance away, scratching at my head. _Change the topic. Change the topic._

“So.. uh… Thanks…. for staying most of the time at date night Friday…” I look up at him, giving a small smile because knowing he was there helped my nerves.

“Of course. You were great.” He says and that makes me smile. I look to the side, hoping I don’t look too awkward.

“Thanks, I’m glad it helped the restaurant out.”

Jean just smiles and shifts in his seat as he takes another drink of water. I watch him for a second and smile softly to myself because nothing’s really changed.

“Okaaayyyyy! Are you ready for the best tacos of your life?” Sasha chants, coming out of the kitchen with Connie trailing behind her.

I laugh, “Ready as I’ll ever be Sash.” I say because this sounds terrifying.

They place everything on the table and sit down, starting to construct the tacos. “Eat up boys, if you don’t eat at least six, I’ll be offended.”

“I’ll try but it’s not going to happen.” I shake my head, looking back up to see Sasha staring me down. I tense up and Connie and Jean laugh.

“Shut up guys.” I whine at them laughing over my misery.  

♫

So somehow this what I thought to be casual Taco night has ended up with Connie and Sasha beyond drunk attempting to dance to fast paced salsa music.

“Dance with me!!” Sasha shouts at me, her arms stretched out as she moves to the music toward me. I glance over at Connie, who this whole night, has had a beer in his hand since I stepped in. Now he’s slow dancing with a beer in his hand, shaking his hips embarrassingly well as he kisses the side of the glass before taking another sip. Dear lord- what did I get in to?

“Sasha.” I say calmly as I place my hands on her waist when she nears me. She’s continuously moving her arms and trying to dance under my hold. This is so dumb I can’t help but laugh. “You are drunk. You probably should not be dancing.” I state. Hell- I don’t know what she should or should not do. I am not experienced with handling drunk people except Ymir. But Ymir is an emotional drunk who always ends up crying.

“I’m not that drunk. Plus, drunk is the best time for dancy dancing.” She laughs loudly and tries to twirl in my arms that I have to let her go and take hold of her hand. “JEEEAAAANNNN get your butt off that bench and come salsa with me! Be the chips to my salsa, the guac for my nachos.”

Never in my life have I heard someone use food pick up lines. But.. that’s Sasha. I should not be surprised. I lift my hand that has hers in it so she can spin freely.

“Please don’t encourage her, Jean.” I say, looking over my shoulder as he laughs and stalks over to us, stopping near me.

“May I have this dance?” He asks Sasha with a roll of his eyes.

“Nooooooope. Dance with Marky Marc. I’m gonna go land that spud- I mean stud- over there.” She chimes, giving me a wink as she dances away from my arms into Connie’s, who immediately tries to dance with her.

“Of course.” Jean sighs and rolls his eyes. I just shake my head and rest my hand on my hip as I shift my weight from one foot to the other. My eyes stayed glued on the two drunkies. “You know.” I start, shooting Jean a look with a small smile, “I thought this was Taco night, not babysit the owners night.”

He keeps eye contact with me, only breaking it to glance over at the two. “Yea. Connie is actually seven years old so….”

“Isn’t everyone when they’re drunk?” I ask, thinking back to Ymir.

“Nah. All different types of drunk. Silly drunks.. angry, stupid, slutty..”

I just make a hm of acknowledgment to avoid the first question that pops into my mind. _Which one are you Jean_. Nothing like watching the two dance all over each other to change the topic. “They’re still cute, even when drunk.”

“Disgustingly.” Jean says and I look over at him shifting his weight and swaying softly to the music. Which is cute.

"I don't see you dancing. Shake that bodt-y" Sasha yells from Connies arms, grinning widely. Connie bursts into laughter and dips Sasha, somehow managing to balance her weight and his beer. These two are something not from this world. With puns mostly… How has Connie not dropped his beer yet?

“Sasha, salsa dancing is not my speciality. Plus, how am I going to supervise you two if I’m dancing.” I smile as I give them some kind of excuse. I mainly learned ballroom dancing but hey- was taught a little bit over everything.

“We don’t need supervision, not for what I want to do to this spud. I’m taking about mashed-” Sasha is silenced as Connie slaps a hand over her mouth with a laugh. I groan loudly, covering my eyes with the palms of my hands. I pull them away for a split second to see Jean looking as much in pain as I am.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair, “Nope nope nope. I don’t need to imagine that.”

“I didn’t either. Oh my fuck.” Jean groans, “Should we leave you two alone?”

"I mean, y’all can stay. We can go in the back and just turn the music up louder," Sasha says as she bites at Connie’s hand to move it so she can speak. I can feel my face redden a little but thank god for Jean.

“That’s it. We’re leaving. Thanks for the tacos.” Jean pulls me away to the table to grab our things, a mortified look still plastered on his face. “It’s going to get gross.” He says as he looks to me. I give an affirmative nod and we both grab our jackets.

I look over at the two still drunk dancing and getting embarrassingly close to each other. “Please don’t make me regret coming back to eat here guys.” I call.

“Jesus Christ.” Jean breathes as we walk to the door and step outside into the cool air. I stand there at the bottom of the steps, trying to comprehend all the things that happened and all the things that could have gone wrong. I burst out laughing, shaking my head.

“Oh my god.”

“I apologize that you had to see that.” Jean grimaces.

“It’s okay it’s okay.” I smile, “It’s…. it’s entertaining.” I say as I look at my phone. 8:57 PM. “Okay, that was fun in all but sleep is calling me.” I give him an apologetic smile because I am always the one to bail early.

“Don’t worry about it. See you.” He dismisses my apology.

I nod and pause for a second, “Yea. See you.” I say before turning to head back to my apartment.

**Wednesday, Dec. 17**

“Okay, so…” I scratch at my head as I look over a review paper in my hands before looking up at the class. “I don’t really have a midterm test for you guys. But what I’m going to pass out is what you will need to answer on Friday. I’m giving you time today and tomorrow to work on your answers in class. Really all you need to do is write an essay on your experience with the play, and thoughts about the class in general.”

I move from my desk and hand papers to the front of each row so they can pass them back. The bell rings to dismiss everyone for the day not too long after my students get the paper.

“Have a good afternoon.” I smile as they file out.

I gather my things and leave not too long after they do, looking down at my phone as I exit the school to see I have a missed call from Ymir. I shift my bag up on my shoulder more as I call her back.

_“Hey Marco.”_

“Hey Ymir, what did you need?” I ask as I turn the corner to head up the street.

_“Just wanted to remind you that we’ll all be in town for Christmas this Friday, we’re staying at the Trost Suites Hotel in downtown.”_

“I didn’t forget. Is mom, dad and Isaac at your place?”

_“Mhhm. They got here yesterday, we’re all heading out to you tomorrow_.”

“Okay, so what are the plans?”

_“Well, your apartment isn’t that big, so we were thinking of going out to eat Christmas morning then open presents at your place.”_

“Sounds like a plan.” I smile at the thought of seeing them again.

_“Your mom says you can bring your friend if you want.”_ I can hear the smirk she just has to have on. _“Your snowbank boy.”_

“Ymir.” I sigh, running a hand through my hair, “He’s just a friend, plus I think he’s seeing someone else? I dunno.”

_“You sound like a dejected baby. There are things called hookups. Ever think of that?”_

“I’m not dumb.”

_“Yes you are. You also suck with relationships. Did I ever mention I hated your exes.”_

“Multiple times. Yes.” I roll my eyes, “You said they were rude, manipulative, and always using me.”

_“Aaaand was I wrong?”_

I glance to the ground and make a face, “No…” I mutter quietly.

_“Just be careful little baby cousin.”_ She hums on the other end of the line. “ _We’ll see you Friday.”_

I pause and take a breath, “Yeah. See you Friday.. be careful driving… Love you.”

_“Love you more baby face.”_

She laughs so loud I have to hold the phone away from my ear with painful scrunch of my nose before she ends the call. She’ll be the death of me one day I swear.

♫

**Friday, Dec. 19**

One by one the students handed in their essays and school let out an hour early. I stay behind till 4:30 reading and grading the papers so I don’t have to worry about forgetting to grade them over break.

My phone buzzes against my desk as a text comes in from Ymir.

**_-We made it, got settled in at the hotel. Want me to pick you up?-_ **

_-Yeah, that sounds great. 5:00 sound good?-_

**_-Be there at 5-_ **

I go back to finish the last of the papers and tuck them away in a drawer before grabbing any remaining items of mine that I don’t want to leave over break. I stand and look around, nodding to myself before I head outside to meet Ymir.

Ymir pulls up to the front of the school at 4:57 and I hop into the passenger seat when she comes to a stop.

“What’s up baby cousin?” She grins and ruffles my hair roughly. I bat away her hand to the best of my ability.

“Good to see you too Ymir.” I smile softly and she retracts her hand to drive away from the school. I glance around the car, my mind still has the reaction of fear when I get in cars but my body won’t react to it.

“You’re handling car rides well still.” I can hear the relief in her voice as she keeps her eyes on the road.

“Yea..” I breath, still not able to believe it myself. “It’s.. all thanks to Jean.”

“Undercut snowbank boy?”

“Yes Ymir. The one who you threatened over text apparently.”

“Hey. He had to know who's boss.”

“That’s no excuse for stealing my phone and jacking his number.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” She dismisses my comment with ease. She doesn’t say anything else but her brow is furrowed in a way that means she’s thinking about something. “Do you like him?” I know she’s asking me this seriously because there is no sarcasm, no hint of joking in her voice.

I sigh and tilt my head back, staring up at the roof of the car. “I don’t know.” I answer honestly, my finger reaching up to rub under my nose. “I rely on him.. a lot more than he knows, but I don’t want to straight up assume I like him because I haven’t paid mind to well.. anyone, since the accident. I don’t want to mix up me liking him for me probably using him as an emotional crutch… or something along those lines.”

She laughs softly, “You haven’t rubbed your finger under your nose in God knows how long. Bringing back old nervous habits.”

I frown and shoot her a look, “Probably because I couldn’t do it with my dominant hand for a few weeks.”

“Yeah yeah.” She hums, “But you know Marco, you can rely on him and like him at the same time. From what I can tell, he’s not a bad guy.”

“I know I know.” I glance to the side, “This friendship is working out.. and I’m afraid sooner or later I’m going to.. I dunno… fuck it up. Who knows. Maybe I already have.” I throw my hands up in the air.

“Marco just calm down.” Ymir shakes her head at me being dramatic, “You aren’t going to mess a friendship up in one fell swoop.”

“Says the person who avoided Historia like the plague when you accidentally yelled at her.” I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head in her direction.

I hear her huff, “I- Just shut up Marco. She’s the love of my life- You overreact sometimes with love.”

“Alright let’s drop the love topic.” I say because I don’t want to think anymore on this.

Ymir laughs- more like cackles- and turns down the street that the hotel is on. “Come on. Let’s go see your family.”

♫

**Saturday, Dec. 20**

Ymir and I have been walking in and out of the mall for 2 hours so far, carrying bags back to the car and heading inside again to gather more Christmas presents. We’ve bought stuff for about everyone. I got paintball refills for Isaac, a few sweaters for my mom, a few notebooks for my dad since he likes to write.. a lot. I managed to snag a couples necklace for Historia and Ymir while Ymir was elsewhere. Now we are walking through Walmart to stock up on Christmas decorations because I have nothing.

“Marco- did you not bring anything with you decoration wise?” Ymir asks as she tosses some wrapping paper into the cart.

“No- that’s rude.” I mutter, looking at the lights before grabbing a few boxes to place in the cart.

Ymir disappears for a few seconds then comes back with tape, and a handful of ornament boxes, and some other decoration nicknacks. “We need to take everything back to your place then run and grab a tree.”

“No fake one? Ymir- that’s very unlike you.” I tease.

“Fuck off.” She rolls her eyes, “I’m not gonna half ass this Christmas.” She mutters as we walk down the aisle to grab more decorations. She grabs a mistletoe and tosses it in the cart, giving me a look.

“Always got to have an excuse to kiss Historia.” She hums.

I laugh softly, nudging her with my elbow. “You’re something else Ymir.”

She grins at me and we go about shopping for another hour before we load up and head back to my apartment to drop everything off.

♫

**Monday, Dec. 22**

“Ymir- leave Tuff along and help me wrap presents.” I call over to her as she cradles Tuff in her arms, ignoring me.

“Yeah yeah. Give me a minute” She waves her free hand at me.

I sigh, laying back on the floor in the massive pile of wrapping paper scraps and wrapped presents around me.

“Can you at least take the finished ones and put them under the tree?” I ask because I’m going to need to get out of my room at some point or another.

"Fiiine" she groans loudly. I swear. Her and Isaac are the reasons I can handle teenagers on a daily basis. Tuff leaps out of her arms and into a pile of scraps, chasing after flying paper under my bed. Ymir leans over to grab a few presents that I had already wrapped and labeled.

I sit up and rest my arms in my lap as she starts taking away the boxes around me. It takes her a few trips but I finally have a clear path from my bedroom to the living room. Ymir stands in the doorway, holding a small, think present between her fingers.

“-For: Jean.-” She grins and raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut up.” I stand, going over to yank the wrapped cd from her fingers.

“What did you buy? Loooove songs?”

“No.” I roll my eyes and go to place the present back under the tree. “He listens to instrumentals while working so I just recorded some piano music.”   

"Lame." She follows after me, looking around at the decorating we finished earlier.

"We did good." She flashes me a grin.

I feel a smile tug at my lips, "We did."

**Thursday. Dec. 25**

**8 am**

The noise of people getting ready wakes me from my sleep on the hotel pull out. I feel the mattress sink with the weight of someone else.

"Marrrccccooo."  Isaac lays across me and I grunt from the weight. Dear god he's heavy. "Get up. It's time for breakfast so we can open presents."

I just groan and wrap my arms around him and roll him off of me. "Okay okay 'm getting up."

He cheers and goes to get Ymir up as I sit up, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth as I yawn loudly. My mom smiles and steps over to me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “Merry Christmas, dear.”

“Merry Christmas mom.” I smile up at her.

♫

**6PM**

Everyone has successfully opened their presents and now we’re all sitting on the floor of my apartment watching _Elf_ because Ymir and Isaac had the pick. So what’s better than watching a movie about an elf.. who’s actually a human? I dunno what’s going on. But everyone else is so engrossed in watching it, I can’t help but smile.

Gift shopping was successful because everyone liked what I got them. I got a few new dress shirts from mom, dad and Isaac, and Ymir and Historia got me a bunch of song music sheets- and secretly a box of condoms because Ymir.

I glance over at the brightly decorated white tree and the single present that rests under it.

I grab my phone from my pocket to text Jean.

_-Merry Christmas :) Hope your day has been jolly-_

**_-It was surprisingly nice.-_ **

**_-You?-_ **

_-It was great. Ymir and I decorated big time.-_

**_-Ahhh yeah decorations-_ **

**_-Me and Hitch got in a popcorn fight-_ **

I smile at the image of Jean and Hitch in a war with popcorn. If it’s the same thing as the nerf war- I have to hold in a laugh so none of my family will question me.

_-Sounds fun. Ymir and Isaac are making the family watch Elf.. so.. that’s what’s going on here at the moment.-_

**_-We are watching Sweeney Todd… Hitch’s choice-_ **

**_-Also I have presents for you-_ **

_-Oh man…-_

_-And same. Got a good day to meet up?-_

_**-28th?-** _

_**-My house or something?-** _

_-Sounds good. It’s been a long boring month.-_

Long and boring as in I haven’t seen or talked to him in two weeks nearly. Taco night was the last time and that ended so awkwardly with Connie and Sasha.

_**-you work too much-** _

Okay I see his point. I couldn’t come hang out because I had class and papers to grade and sleep to catch up on but he’s in no position to tell me I work too much.

_-No. YOU work too much.-_

**_-I’m trying to fix that.-_ **

_-You actually going to quit??-_

**_-If I can find a job-_ **

_-Well… what do you want to do?-_

**_-That’s the million dollar question-_ **

**_-Shit. I have to go. The fire alarm is going off and Hitch disappeared into the kitchen 10 minutes ago.-_ **

_-oh god. ok bye. See you soon-_

I set my phone aside on the couch and turn my attention back to the movie. God- I hope everything is alright. Hitch in the kitchen just sounds like a bad idea.

After the movie is over and we talk a bit more, everyone leaves at 8:30. I go about the house, cleaning up any stray wrapping paper that Tuff might have hidden to play with. I have to search for my phone in the couch cushions and see I had missed a text that was sent nearly two hours ago.

**_-Everything is okay. Hope you have a good holidays.-_ **

I smile softly and stare at the tiny screen for a few minutes. “Hope you did too.” I say before tucking my phone away to finish stuff and go to bed early at 9 PM.

**Sunday, Dec. 28**

**3 PM**

Wait.. we never did agree on a time when I should come over.  

_-Is now a good time to come over?-_

I sit on the edge of my bed as I wait for his text. Tuff jumps up and rubs against my arm because she can sense when I’m about to go out.

**_-Sounds good.-_ **

_**-** Alright. See you-_

See you is the phrase I have been using most with him. I’ve stopped say bye at some point and I don’t know when. See you is a lot more relieving for me to say cause I know I’ll be seeing him again- I look forward to seeing him again. I slip on my shoes and jacket and grab his present before heading out.

The walk is more familiar to Jean’s house now. It’s one of the routes that have become ingrained in my mind. Where my feet carry me without doubts in my mind. It’s soothing, to walk almost aimlessly but with a location in mind. Fifteen minutes of peace.

My hand fingers the wrapped CD that’s tucked away in my jacket. I hope he likes it is all I can think as I step up to the door and knock with the back of my hand.

The door quickly opens and Jean greets me with a “Hey” before he turns and darts off to the kitchen. I pause at the door, trying to process that he was in a tank top, sweatpants and an apron. I laugh softly and step inside, closing the door behind me.

I take off my jacket, making sure the present is secure in it’s pocket. I smile and walk to the kitchen. “Need help with anything?” I call stepping into view.

“No this was the last tray.” Jean huffs as he takes a pan of fresh gingerbread from the oven to set it with the… holy crap… it looks like there’s thirty of forty batches of gingerbread. He look back over as he shuts the oven off and takes off his apron, leaning against the counter. He sighs and takes a few breaths.

I lean against the entrance, looking to the gingerbread again with a smile. “You know what you should do.”

“Hmmm?” Jean raises an eyebrow at me before moving over to a stool with a laundry basket on it to replace his shirt with a clean one.

“You should be a baker.” I say with a hint of amusement in my voice as I tilt my head to the side. “Why did you make so many anyways?”

“Haa- I’m not a baker.” Jean laughs, “And Sasha asked me to do an order for the restaurant. They are doing an ugly christmas sweater themed new years.”

“Hmm.. maybe. But you know.. you put so much effort into it.” I smile, “Oh really?” I question the idea of a ugly sweater new years party.

“Yes, so you better get a sweater ready.” Jean says rolling his eyes. “And baking is a hobby, not a real job.” he adds, starting to take cookies off cooling trays.

“Yeah I don’t own one.” I grin, hoping to get out of the dress code. “And maybe. But I can see you making something from it. But that’s just me.” Because I can better picture Jean working in a kitchen rather than in an office, in front of a computer, at three in the morning. I step over and reach my hand out to help him but he swats my hand away, making me draw it back.

“No touching. And you’ll have to make a sweater then. Sasha will come after your ass if you violate her dress code.” He laughs, “But I can do this later. Come on, I have gifts for you.

I make a face as I hear him say gifts- as in multiple. “Isn’t that too many?” I question but give in to his first statement. “But fine fine. I’ll make sure to get a sweater for the party.” I say, giving in as I follow him to the living room. He takes a seat, cross legged on the couch. I notice three boxes as I pass him to grab his present from my jacket before returning to sit down.

“You make my present look pitiful.” I say, holding the thin present between my fingers to make a point.

“I went overboard it’s fine. I do that. A lot. Plus this first one will probably inspire my death” Jean says grinning innocently so I know something is up. “Open this,” He says, handing me a box.

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously and set Jean’s present down in my lap before I take the box in my hands. I keep glancing up at him as I’m unwrapping it and every time he has this stupid grin on his face. Stupidly adorable. I don’t trust it. As I open the box, my beliefs are true.

“Really you jerk??” I glare at him as I hold up the ceramic red freaking solo cup that was in the box. Why? I should never make any jokes. They will always haunt me!

“I know. It’s your favorite,” He states, the grin never ceasing yet. I should try and still be mad but I submit to an eyeroll as a smile tugs at my lips to match his grin.

“I love it.” I say softly, because I do love it. I love any stupid inside joke we share together because it makes me smile to no end.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Jean says, stretching his arms along the back side of the couch and stretching his legs out to rest on the coffee table. He nods to the smaller box, “Open that one.”

“Yeah yeah.” I say as I lean down to grab the smaller flat box, proceeding to open it. I feel my eyes widen as I stare down at two season passes to the orchestra. I hold them up, still trying to grasp that he got these. “How- Oh.. my god.” I breath, unable to form an actual sentence.

“You can take whoever you want,” Jean says, leaning his head against the back of the couch like it’s no big deal. I glance past the passes to see him staring up at the ceiling, like he’s waiting for me to say who I would want to take. I smile and extend my arm out to him, a pass between my fingers.

“I’m sure there is someone who you know that loves music,” Jean says. “You can take anyone you want. Really..” He’s right. I can take anyone I want. I could ask Armin, I could see if a colleague from college who would appreciate the music like I do would want one. But I don’t want that. I want Jean there who may or may not appreciate it, who may fall asleep during it, who may nudge me to ask what the hell is going on.

“I would rather take you.” I say sincerely, a smile still on my face as I still hold the pass out of him. Jean finally looks over and smiles, reaching to take it from me.

“There’s one more- it was sort of last minute thing but I thought you would like it.” He says, holding out the last package to me. I take it from him and lean back against the arm of the couch to unwrap it to reveal a photo album. I raise an eyebrow and open it up and I feel my breathing stop. I quickly flip through it- every single one of the pictures is what he took at the play. Including a couple of when I got tackled by my students. I smile softly, struggling to make sure I don’t cry over something like this.

“I love it.”

“I figured you should have them. Celebrate your first production or whatever.” Jean says nonchalantly. I look up and grin, holding out Jean’s present to him.

“Now yours.”

He takes the present from me and I watch with anticipation as he unwraps it. Watching the way he carefully peels away the tape and wrapping paper. “This is really great.” Jean says as he smiles up at me before looking back to the CD, turning it over in his hands a few times.

“You said you work listening to instrumental.. so.” I smile brightly, shrugging my shoulders to imitate the nonchalance he was putting off before.

“It’s great. Thank you, Marco.. Really.” Jean says as he keeps glancing back to the CD, his lips twitching into a smile.

I grin, “I worked hard on it- so it better help you get through work.”

“I thought you wanted me to quit work.” Jean raises an eyebrow at me.

“This job, your next one, when you’re bored as hell or whatever.” I stretch my leg out to nudge Jean’s leg. “But yes I want you to quit that job.”

"Join the club," Jean sighs. "Join the fucking club."

“I’ll keep an eye out for jobs for you.” I say, giving a reassuring smile, “One where you have a sleeping schedule like a normal person.”

Jean just laughs and let’s his head drop to rest against the couch. I watch him for a few seconds, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Thanks… for everything.” I finally say after a few long seconds. Thanks for friendship, support- the presents. Yeah.

"It's really not a big deal. Hitch helped me with presents so it's whatever."

“Not just for the presents, dumbbutt.” I say, still not looking over at him.

"Dumbbutt" Jean mimicks. "Really."

“Princess. Bond girl. Horse face. You get the gist of it.”

"Okay Marky marc..."

“Jeanbo.”

"I hate you" Jean retorts but I know he’s just joking.

“Love you too.” I tilt my head back forward with a grin.

Jean lets out a huff of annoyance, crossing his arms. "So what do you have to do for the rest of the day?"

“Nothing.” I say as I yawn, leaning over to set my presents on the floor. That’s how I like my break, nothing planned all day.

"Want to watch 24?"

I smile, “Yes. I  mean may fall asleep but yes.”  

"I'll wake you up if you do," he says, which I trust him on because he woke me up last time.

“Awesome. Basement, right?”

"Yeah, I'm going to grab water but go on down."

“Fill my stupid red solo cup up for me.” I say. We both laugh as I stand to head downstairs while Jean heads to the kitchen after me. I take my time walking down the stairs, paying attention to any details of the house that I didn’t notice yet. The stairwell is bare- unlike back at my house where my mom loves to hang baby pictures and old drawings of mine and Isaac's.

I would love to have a house like this. But honestly, I don’t know how I could take it feeling so… empty if it was just me and Tuff. I mean, my apartment is fairly small, but it does help give the allusion of it being homey. I take a seat in the middle of the couch in silence before laying on my side and pressing my face into the cushion. I close my eyes and breath because I just.. feel like I need to take a few moments. A laugh erupt behind me.

“You all good man?”

I sit up to look over my shoulder at Jean who’s holding two cups in his hands. I give a ‘mhmm’ before situating myself on one end of the couch, leaning my back against the arm. “Yeah, I’m slowly coming down from a Christmas energy high- if that makes sense?” I automatically say.

"Yeah," Jean says, sitting down cross legged on the other end of the couch before turning on the TV after he hands me my cup. He flips through things to find where we left off in 24 last time and there is this.. silence. The TV is loud but between us two, it’s quiet.

“So what did Hitch burn the other day in the kitchen?” I ask, not being able to take the soundless tension. At least- I can feel the tension. Jean just sighs at the mention of Hitch and the incident at Christmas.

"My hope of ever having a clean kitchen.”

"That bad huh?" I say quietly, glancing over at him.

"Yup," Jean says, letting his head fall back into the couch. I pause and open my mouth to ask something else but I take a breath instead and turn my attention back to the TV.  

♫

So we ended up falling asleep again while watching 24 and I went home after we both woke up around 11 for me to go back home. Over the few days I made an effort to find an ugly sweater and somehow succeeded by finding one at a thrift store that had a poor Christmas tree on the front. But I promised Jean, I did find one.

**Wed. Dec. 31st**

**New Years Eve**

**11:45 PM**

Connie and Sasha’s restaurant is busy with people they invited to the New Years Eve Christmas sweater party. I’ve been sitting up at the bar for at least 30 minutes, thinking it would be smart to arrive a little early and help out but I got denied- once again. I exhale through my nose and swirl the ice around in my cup of water with my finger out of boredom.

"Meet anyone nice?" My thoughts are broken by Jean who takes a seat next to me. I feel myself straighten up a little and abandon my drink for a moment as my face pulls into a smile.

“Nah.” I say, “I dunno how I can meet someone nice with all these ugly sweaters.” I joke, but I haven’t been in the mood to mingle.

"I don't know, mines fucking rad," Jean replies as he takes a sip of the coke that he brought up to the bar with him.

“Still ugly.” I laugh softly, reaching forward to take a piece of ice between my fingers and roll it between the tips to keep my mind occupied.

"Nothing about me could be ever be ugly," Jean says, rolling his eyes and nudging into my side. I eye the ice in my hand and I honestly can’t help myself.

“Mhhhhm. Whatever you say.” I hum nonchalantly as I lean back to drop the ice cube down the back of his sweater. He automatically shoves me away with a ‘fuck!’

“Jesus. You are evil Bodt.” He grunts as he wriggles to get the ice out of his shirt. I see it fall to the ground and I laugh softly.

“So… Any New Years resolutions?” I ask to avoid being chastised.

"I stopped making New Years resolutions," Jean says shifting around and readjusting his sweater. I don’t know what I was expecting. I.. Just want to know something different?

"You are the grinch of holidays" I smile softly and nudge his side gently.

"Well what are your amazing festive resolutions than?" Jean asks with a return elbow to my side.

"Mmmmm..” I make a noise to myself as I think. What.. do I want to aim for in 2015?   “Save up for an actual house, maybe find a better job. Some other stuff but it's personal" I shrug with a smile.

"Yeah." Jean says, nodding his head. "Ten minutes until midnight," he adds as he glances at his phone. I smile and look away, resting my chin on my hand. Okay.. Just like last time. I force myself to keep the conversation going.

"Okay. Best thing that happened this year?" I ask, glancing over to see Jean glancing at the floor with a soft smile on his face.

"Be able to be with Hitch," He says before his voice drops to a whisper. “I love being a brother…” I want to say the same- but I wish I was with Isaac more- I wish I could be a better brother to him- He deserves the brother that… didn’t get torn apart two years ago.

“Yeah.” My voice is soft, low, cautious. “You’re the best brother she could ever have.” I say as I reach up to ruffle his hair.

"Stop that," Jean says ducking out from under my reach playfully. "You are such a dork."

“Can’t break habits easily.” I laugh a little, going to take my water in my hand and bring it up to take a sip. “And a dork I shall be.”

"So kissing anyone at midnight?" Jean asks with a small chuckle. I freeze at the question- I wasn’t prepared to hear that- but… that is a big thing people look forward to I guess.

"God I forgot about that" I laugh to make up for my hesitation, "Wasn't planning on it"

"I'm sure you could have anyone of these people," Jean says, placing a hand on my back. I look over my shoulder to see him turned, staring out at the crowd of people. I glance out as well, only to have my eyes fall back on him before I return my gaze back to my water with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Not the way I operate tho. But I could say the same for you."

"I don't want any of them," Jean mutters, adding in softly "3 minutes until midnight.” He could have any of them. He could have anyone. He’s that type of person to make it happen. But I just chuckle softly, leaning forward to rest my arms on the cold counter.

"We're both on the same page then."

"I don't understand the hype about New Years anyways," Jean says, running a hand through his hair. I have to agree that there is an unnecessary enthusiasm to it, but I promised to think positive. Every year is a new start, I gotta remember that I’m alive.  

"New year. New beginnings. New chances." I say, tilting my head to smile at him.

"But the same old shit happens." Jean says rolling his eyes and leaning against the counter.

“That just depends on.. you I guess.” I say quietly. It depends on each person and how we approach situations.

"Yeah I guess." Jean replies in this… tone that makes me not quite believe I got any words through to him. The countdown is finally at 10 seconds and the room is bustling with energy.

"10! 9! 8!" The vocal countdown has been started by the crowd of people looking up at the TVs, drinks in hand as they shout. I look over at Jean, eyeing the way he’s biting at his lip. So. Kissing anyone at midnight. I feel my breath catch and the voices all around us are slowing toning out but I still hear them.

"6! 5! 4! 3!"

Jean places his cup down on the counter as the countdown hits one and the room erupts in a “Happy New Year!” with the sound of confetti poppers going off as the little bits of paper fly around the room.

"Happy new year Marco," Jean says, looking over at me and leaning forward. I can’t move. Why does this always happen? I get lost- once again- staring into his eyes as he stares back at me before I am pulled into a gentle hug, his arms securely around my back.

“Happy new year.” I say softly, bringing my arms around him to linger in the hold before we both release each other. I smile to him, taking a soft breath. “Okay- Sasha already yelled at me for this but I gotta bail- I promised to skype call my parents as soon as it was the new year.” I apologize because.. I wasn’t expecting to want to stay for too much longer.

"I'll see you later than," Jean says, nodding his head to me.

“Yeah.” I feel myself grin and give him a quick side hug before leaning back and slipping off the bar stool. “I’ll see you- text you- sometime or later.” I say as I pass him and weave through the crowd to hurry back home.

♫

_“Happy New Years Marco dear!”_ My mom smiles brightly at me through my computer screen. My dad and brother wish me the same.

“Happy new years. I love you guys.. sorry we couldn’t celebrate with each other this year.”

_“Oh don’t worry about it dear. You’re growing up! That’s something to celebrate this new year.”_

“Right…” I breath. “Go get some sleep you guys.”

_“To bed already bro?”_ Isaac pops into view. _“You’re so lame. You’re on break aren’t you? Stay up a lot later!”_

“I have a system Isaac.” I roll my eyes.

_“Doooooork._ ” He chants and my mom slaps the back of his head.

_“Isaac. Let your brother go to sleep.”_

_“Fiiine.”_ He whines and gives me a wave that I return before he wanders off.

“Goodnight mom.” I smile softly, kissing the tips of my fingers and touch them to the computer screen. She does the same and tells me goodnight before she ends the call. This.. I have a feeling that this will be a good year.

****  
  



	13. Heroes: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Series of unfortunate events lead to some very good ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see. A03 tells me its been a year since I've updated. I'm splitting Ch. 13 up into 2 parts since 1. it's so long. and 2. it's been 3/4 finished for a while.  
> So hopefully when we get back to writing again, I'll remember how to write for this! But I hope you guys enjoy this. I miss you all.

**Chapter 13: Heroes (Part 1)**

**Jan. 4, Sunday**

**4:30 PM**

Most of the time, I don’t realize how alone I am till I walk outside into a world that thrives on interaction and communication. It’s not that I have a hard time connecting with people.. no.. It’s the letting them connect with me that’s harder to do. I can go through so many interactions a day- striking a conversation in a waiting line and find out how someone’s day has been but it’s finite. It doesn’t hit till I walk into an empty apartment building with no one to greet but Tuff.  I would just… love to have someone else to at least be around more. Comfort in presence would be the best phrase for it.

But being alone isn’t something I want other people to figure out about me. I’m sure others around me feel the same about their insecurities. No matter how awful I feel, it’s always best to put on a smile for others in hopes I might make their day better over mine. Because that is what keeps the black hole from caving in on itself. _Be kind to others_ , that’s what my mom always told me. That’s what I live on. _Put others before yourself._  It’s probably not the best way to deal with stuff like this but it’s the way I know how to cooperate with it right now. Happiness from the happiness of others.

I hate how my mind wanders aimlessly through these thoughts. I got nothing better to think about than depressing stuff as I walk back from the grocery store with a bag of cat food in my arms. _Think about other things,_ I tell myself. Think of good times, or your childhood, or- just think of something else.

Ymir nearly giving me a heart attack when I was five is the first thing that pops into my head. It was at Halloween and I was dressed up as a ghost- it was Ymir’s idea in which she dressed me up all in white and painted my skin and hair white as well. So what does she do? She pretended I was invisible the whole night and I broke down crying in the middle of the street because I actually thought I was dead. She had to carry me back home because I refused to move and my mom yelled at her for scaring me. So she had to spend the night with me to prove that I was okay. So I laid on top of her so we could both fit on my tiny bed and she would tell me stories till I fell fast asleep.

Or when Isaac and I were together at a hotel, he was 6 and I was 15. My parents were at a business trip and we went swimming in the hotel pool and we… somehow thought it was a good idea to put a whole bottle of bubble bath in the jacuzzi hot tub- I laugh to myself at the thought of how horrible that ended. More or less we aren’t allowed to come back to said hotel. Luckily we didn’t have to help clean it up nor did we have to leave early, and that was good as well.

Ok… what else to think about? Well the experience of coming home to Tuff when I first moved here. She was so worried about me all the time.

My feet carry me up the stairs to my apartment and I pull my keys from my pocket to unlock the door. I twist the knob in my hand after I hear the familiar click of the lock to push the door open.

“Tuff. I’m ba-” The sound of squishing from my feet on the carpet silences my greeting. Oh no- Tuff is sitting on the back of the couch with a look of terrified matching my own expression. I step further inside, looking around at the water damage on the soaked carpet and floor. I drop the bag of cat food on the couch and take a deep breath, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes. They slide up and run through my hair as I exhale heavily, a shaky sigh escaping my lips. My eyes keep scanning the room as I drag my feet to the bathroom to examine the damage. It doesn’t surprise me honestly.. busted water pipe.

My bedroom is at least half soaked, the living room is trashed, the kitchen is sort of okay. At this point my shoes are uncomfortably wet, the bottom of my pants have gathered some water as well. I sit down on the edge of my bed and bury my face in my hands, hunched over in defeat. Be positive… think positive.. I fish my phone out of my pocket and call my landlord.

_“Hello?”_ His gruff, tired voice comes through the line. I’m honestly surprised he answered this time- I usually have to leave a message or try to call him back later.

“Uh- Hi Mr. Reeves. It’s Marco Bodt in apartment 7. My apartment has flooded while I was out from a busted water pipe.” I say as calmly as possible because if I hear too much waver in my voice, I’ll probably break down and I can’t let that happen.

I don’t hear anything on the other line but a huff. _“It’s what happens when it’s cold out. Pipes freeze. Should’ve left some water running kid.”_

“Wait- no no no this is not my fault!”

_“What do you expect me to do about it?”_

“Fix it! Look- I’ve been taking care of everything that happens but not this time. You get someone to fix it or I’ll- I’ll leave.” I threaten.

_“.....Fine fine. I’ll get someone in there in a few days.”_ He says with a sigh as he gives in without much of a fight. “ _You’re on your own finding a place to stay.”_

I nod to myself and look to Tuff who had jumped up on the bed at some point. “Fine.” I say, because this is the best bargain I’ve ever gotten out of him before. If anything, he won’t pay me back for damages to my things but then again I won’t have to pay for water damage. He grunts on the other line and mumbles something before hanging up and I drop my hand to my lap with a sigh. I glance back over at Tuff again before looking down at my feet.

 

This is just great- just… fantastic. I lean forward and run a hand through my hair as I stare at the home screen of my phone. Where will I go? I don’t know how long it will take to clean everything up.. I don’t exactly want to stay at a motel because none are close to work. Armin is an option.. but.. I don’t want to intervene on his life with Eren and Mikasa. My thumb taps on my contacts list and I scroll through the small list of contacts till I stop on Jean’s name. I hesitate to call him, my finger hovering over the green call button.

Would I be interfering with his life? His work? I don’t even know if he needs space if he has a companion.. if I can phrase it that way. I feel like I should ask him about what happened at date night- but… it’s none of my business.. and I’m just being selfish. I should not care who he dates. I shouldn’t. But his smile is burned into my mind and the back of a stranger’s head with it as well. The way he can easily make my nerves go haywire, or the heat pull to my cheeks, or make me laugh till my lungs hurt and my cheeks strain from smiling. The way we interact like old friends, not in this life.. But maybe in another I feel? Just maybe. If there is such as thing as reincarnation, or alternate universes, or past lives. I feel like there are. I mean- I’m very open to religious opinions but I’m not set on one thing completely. Reincarnation just doesn’t sound like a bad fate.. if you get a chance to live your life again- meet the one you love again- I wonder if I died at a young age in another life? Why am I spared in this one?

Okay okay, enough of that. Back to Jean. What about his allergies? I mean I would buy him as much medicine as he needs but will Tuff be a hinderance? I won’t go anywhere without her, I don’t think I can make it without her to remind me that I am alive for a reason. I take a shaky breath and press call, holding it up to my ear as I wait for him to answer. Time is slow- and I can hear my heartbeat in time with the rings- six beats in the silence between them. What if he doesn’t answer? Do I try and call back? Do I just text him? I rarely call him- except for that one time at Thanksgiving- okay it was twice. Once when I was baking and the other when I was tipsy and I will never let Ymir give me alcohol related drinks ever again. I need my sanity to keep stuff from slipping from my thoughts because apparently, I have no filter when I am drunk, which is really really bad.  

A noise from the other line and Jean’s voice through the static brings me back down to earth and out of the deep pits of my mind.

" _Marco?"_ His answer is followed by a yawn and I freeze because how could I forget he sleeps in the middle of the day because of work. I nearly forget he's still on the line so I stutter out a reply.

"H-hey.. Sorry I woke you." I automatically apologize.

_"If no one ever woke me up, I wouldn't get anything done."_ He says, brushing off my apology in an instant. _"What's up?"_

I laugh softly at his response, "Right right..." My hand reaches up to grip the back of my neck nervously. "Look... Uh... Can I stay at your place for a couple of days?- I mean if you say no I completely understand I just-" I cut myself off from vomiting any more words.

_"Oh yeah, that's cool. Is everything okay?"_ He asks and I hear the slight concern in his voice. I sigh in relief, a little more at ease from hearing his response. But as far as is everything okay- it is and it isn't.

"No... Not exactly. Coming home to a busted water pipe and flooded apartment isn't exactly okay." I say with a small laugh because the more I think on it, it could be a lot worse I guess. "As long as I have a place to stay until my landlord gets someone in here to clean things up it'll be okay."

_"Okay. Make sure you bring cat food or a litter box... I have no clue what cats need. I'll come pick you up in like 45 minutes."_

A smile tugs at my lips at the thought of him taking care of Tuff on his own. "I figured as much on that... But I will." I pause for a moment, "Thanks... You're the best." I say softly.

_"Yeah whatever. See you soon."_ He deadpans and I'm sure he's rolling his eyes at me. I just chuckle and say see you before the call is ended.

I stand and stuff my phone in my pocket before I run my hands through my hair with a small smile on my face. I go to my closet and grab the duffel bag from the floor and set it on my bed. My feet drag me to my dresser and closet to gather what clothes I would need. Pajamas, some casual outfits, work clothes because I don't think I'll be back here before school starts back up. I grab the travel litter box that I have for Tuff when we go places and place in my duffle bag where there is extra space. Also a good thing I stock up on cat litter when it's on sale.

I head to the kitchen items to for her food and water before heading into the bathroom to grab toiletries. Pausing, I stare at the leak for a few moments in spite. This whole apartment has something against me.. I swear. I honestly can't wait to get a better one or my own house but I have to focus on saving money first.  I return to my bedroom to finish packing my duffle bag before I gather my work supplies into my work bag; so my laptop, grading papers, notebook, folders, pens, and anything else I usually take with me to school.

It takes me nearly 35 minutes to gather my things and relocate Tuff and get her in the carrier with a little trouble before I grab my own jacket and wait in the living room on the arm of the couch, trying to ignore the mess around me.

My phone rings from my pocket and I answer without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

_"I'm outside."_ Jean says and I nod to myself before replying.

"Coming." I smile and end the call before gathering up my duffel bag, Tuff in her carrier as well as my work bag. I look back at my sad excuse for a living space before I open the front door and lock it behind me as I head down the stairs to Jean's car in the parking lot. I see him get out of the car and come to meet me.

"Hey man." He says as he opens the backdoor of the car for me to set my stuff in the backseat.

"Hey." I give a small smile in return and nod to him as I put my things and Tuff in the backseat of the car. "I'll get you extra allergy medicine when I go to the store." I say to reassure that Tuff won't be much of a problem.

Jean leans over and looks at Tuff in her carrier. "Hey Tuff." He says softly before straightening up and smiling at me. "Sounds good. I'll be fine. Luckily I don't have a lot of carpet and my couches are leather."

I can’t help but smile as I open the passenger door and get in the seat as he walks around to the driver's side and gets in as well. “She’s due for a bath soon so I’ll see if there’s some special shampoo for it.” I say as I buckle up.

Tuff doesn’t mind a bath occasionally- she’s weird around water. I mean she fell in the bathtub with me a couple of times and just sort of accepted it. And if there’s something out there to help Jean not sneeze that isn’t harmful to my baby, I’ll try it. I unconsciously tilt my head back against the headrest and let out a sigh, winding down from everything that has happened.

“You doing okay?” Jean brings me back to reality as he starts the car. I can’t speak calmly enough to assure him that I really am okay.

“Yeah. I’m.. I’m doing okay. I just can’t wait till I save up enough money to move.” I say as I run a hand through my hair. Jean shakes his head as he replies.

“It will be the best day of your life.”

The car starts to pull away from the apartment complex so I shift to look back at Tuff, sticking my fingers through the carrier door to let her scratch against them. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I laugh at the thought of how happy Jean must have been when he left his own apartment to come back here for Hitch.

“So I have a guest bedroom you can stay in, and I have to work tonight but you can make yourself at home.”

“Okay thanks-”

I sit back and glance out the window at the heavy snow falling and covering the roads. I look over at Jean- whose expression is focused as he drives slowly through the lightly covered roads.  I realize that I’m tense from watching the road so I look down at my lap, lacing my fingers together.

“Are you hungry?” I ask, “Cause I feel like I should at least cook tonight.” Since I am the one intruding and all that. Also I need something- anything to talk about. Got to keep my focus _off_ the road. Jean’s response is hesitant but he does reply.

“Uh- yeah. I mean you don’t have to but you are welcome to. Should I let you in my kitchen? Will you burn it down?” Jean asks and I can see him raising his eyebrow a little. I laugh a little in remembrance from Christmas.

“I’m not Hitch, I won’t threaten the livelihood of your kitchen.” I may have a sucky kitchen in my apartment and I may have burned myself a couple of times but I do know how to cook fairly well. It’s what I get for being a big brother when both parents gotta work late. Isaac was my life for much of my childhood. Jean’s laugh interrupts my train of thought.

“We’ll see.” Oh doesn’t that make me sound completely trusted. “I hate these fucking roads.” He adds in a few seconds later. His expression contorts into a grimace at the sound of what I’m guessing is the snow chains on his car against the ice on the roads.

“Yeah-” I say quietly, sinking into the seat some, hopefully not too noticeable but I can’t help it. Got to keep talking.. I need his voice to keep me out of my thoughts and keep the flashbacks at bay. “I see a snow day coming if this keeps up.”   

"Is that a teacher's dream or nightmare?" Jean asks and I shrug to myself.

“Teachers appreciate snow days as much as students. As long as we don’t have to do make up days.” My nose scrunches up at the idea of make up days that go over into the summer. They aren’t fun for anyone, but we got to if there is five or more snow days. I’m hoping the snow will go away soon. Well- I mean I’ll walk to school still, it’s for everyone else who needs to drive home in it.

I end up staring out at the snow that’s reflected against the headlights. Hypnotizing, mesmerizing.. like I’m staring into an endless white vortex of white. Blinding.. painfully blinding. Where you want to close your eyes because it hurts so much and you just want to keep them closed and never open them again.

I find my muscles stiff, my eyes straining to blink because I was so lost in thought. I inhale sharply, filling my lungs because I forgot to breath, but quietly enough not to alarm Jean who’s sitting next to me. He’s leaning forward, concentrating on the road as we turn down his street.

“Well I’m glad I’ll get to use the fireplace finally. There’s apparently a blizzard coming. But who knows, the weather is a fickle bitch.” He says and that makes me smile a little.

“A fire sounds nice. And I think it will hit us but the weather says it won’t be till Tuesday… ish. If anything they’ll have the roads plowed enough for school tomorrow but I don’t know after that.” I say, leaning back in the seat as Jean pulls the car into the driveway.

“Hitch would be excited.” Jean murmurs as he parks the car before holding a key out to me. “Get Tuff inside and I’ll get the other stuff.” I feel my nose scrunch a little because I am fully capable of getting my things but instead I sigh in defeat.

“Okay.” I say as I unbuckle and work the car door open to get Tuff and head to the front door. The snow has slowed some and I notice the snow plows down the street. Yeah. The roads will be cleared off tomorrow. Unlocking the door, I step inside with Tuff’s carrier in hand and wait for Jean who follows me inside a few seconds later. Leaning over to set my work bags down, he closes the door with his foot.

"Uh so I guess I can show you upstairs now," He says, shifting his weight. I smile and shift all my bags onto my good shoulder.

“Lead the way.”

I follow Jean upstairs and he pauses a few steps up to throw a glance back at me, which I reassure him with a smile that I didn’t wander off. He turns down the hall and gestures to the first door. “That hell hole is Hitch’s room. I’m not sure what she has in there but it should probably be killed with fire.”

“Oh come in, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”

I’ve seen Isaac's room. It’s what you would typically think and find in a teenage boy’s room. I have, for a fact, found condoms.

“Teenage girls are always worse than you think,” Jean cringes and continues down the hall. “That is my room and there is a bathroom attached to it...”  Motioning to the door right next to Hitch’s as he talks. Of course. Office is downstairs, his room is upstairs.

"So basically I have to drag you upstairs if I find you still awake when I get up in the morning?" I say, raising an eyebrow in mock seriousness, considering I wake up at 6:15 every school day.

“I’ll make sure I go to sleep before six am,” Jean rolls his eyes.

"I would be surprised that you could stay awake past that anyways." I shrug my shoulders. "But either way, it's unhealthy."

“Yes mom..” Jean says smirking and motioning to the door opposite his. “That's the guest bedroom.” he says. I just give a little ‘mhm’ to his mom comment and turn to open the guest bedroom door, taking a moment to look inside. It’s not too big but there is a double bed, a small dresser and a nightstand. I look over my shoulder to give Jean a smile.

“Thanks- I’ll get Tuff settled in before I fix something to eat. That is.. if you trust me to use your kitchen?”

“Knock yourself out, and when you’re up here just use my bathroom.” Jean says. “I’m going to do some quick work so that I can quit earlier today,” he adds and I nod in understanding.

“Alright.”

Jean turns to head downstairs and I got the guest bedroom to myself. I run a hand through my hair and take a breath, looking over at Tuff who looks pissed because she’s been in her carrier for a while. “Just a second sweetie. I need to set things up for you.”

I take out her litter box and fill it up before setting it in the corner of the room. I set her bowls and food aside to take downstairs later but for now, I let her out and set her by her litter box so she remembers where it is. I turn to take my clothes out of the duffle bag and fold them in place in the dresser drawers. I set my work bag beside the bed and take a seat, falling back on the bed. Tuff jumps up and walks across my chest before taking a seat there.

“Be nice, be polite.” I warn her, “This isn’t our house, it’s Jean’s. Have the same manners like at Thanksgiving.” She purrs and licks her paw before rubbing it across her head. I smile and take her in my arms, grabbing her food bowls and food bag before heading downstairs. I set them in a corner in the kitchen, one filled with water, the other with food.

“Okay, you’re taken care of. I’m going to make us some dinner now.” I lean down and scratch her ears before straightening back up to scope out the kitchen.

♫

I finally manage to find where all the plates, silverware, etc are located and the stove is easy to use. At least he has pasta for me to make- which is what has just finished. I dump the steaming spaghetti into a strainer in the sink before putting it back in the pan. I grab two plates and forks out before heading to Jean’s office. I glance at my phone, 7:15 PM. It’s not that late.

I pop my head through the doorway to see Jean typing away, hunched forward at his desk. “Hungry?” I ask, getting his attention, “I made some spaghetti.

Jean’s face lights up, “Oh my god yes. Thank the fucking lord I can take a break.” He adds excitedly, pushing away from his desk to get up and follow after me. A smile pulls at my face as we head back to the kitchen. He’s so- adorable..

Tuff greets our return with winding between my legs, nearly making me trip but thank god I didn’t. I dished out the extra buttery spaghetti onto a plate. “I scoped out the cabinets- it was easier than interrupting you.” I admit.

“Hello fluffy baby-” I hear a coo behind me that drops off and I have to resist to laugh because no one is immune to Tuff. You can be the most badass person you think you are (Ymir) but you get reduced to baby talk once she’s around. I look over at them and Jean seems to be.. waiting for Tuff but he glances up at me, “Thanks- I actually got a lot done.”

I look down at Tuff who is still winding around my feet just ignoring Jean’s look of _I want to hold you._ I sigh and nudge her bottom with the side of my foot, giving her a look of _be polite, pay attention to Jean._ She catches my drift and differs her attention to Jean now, who happily pets her.

“No problem. Least I can do for letting me stay here.” I say with a smile, holding out the plate to Jean who takes it from me.

“It’s really no big deal. I’m being fed. It’s a miracle.”

Now that sounds like something I would say because my kitchen just sucks. Plus he’s teased me about this before- at least when I’m sick.

“Do I need to tell Sasha to keep an eye on you to make sure you eat? Hmm?” I raise an eyebrow, humming in amusement. “Cause that can be arranged.”

“Don’t you dare.” He hisses at me after dropping off his plate at the kitchen island that sits in the middle of the room. “You want something to drink, water? beer? juice? soda? One of Hitch’s crazy ass energy drinks?” he asks.

I chuckle at his reaction and turn my attention to dishing out my own portion of food. “Fine fine, and just water.” I turn around to sit at the island with a red solo cup sitting at my spot. I give small eyeroll, sighing through my nose because I’m not even going to argue anymore. I take a seat across from Jean, “Thanks-” I start but is interrupted by Tuff’s meow. So I lean over to pick her up to sit on my lap as I eat.

She’s so clingy right now- but I can understand it. She knows something is up. She knows something happened that has upset me. So she knows she needs to stay in close proximity of me to make sure I’m okay.  

Jean sneezes and I look up from Tuff, “I see you got fancy with pasta and butter.” He says.

I grin, fork between my lips, “You can’t deny that it tastes amazing.- Also I put whatever medicine I had left in your bathroom.” I add.

“I took some earlier, and no it’s great thank you,” Jean says.

“Well just putting it out there.” I shrug. We go silent for a good while as we finish our food- both of us splitting the last bit in the pot because we were hungry. Before long- it’s 8:00 PM. I didn’t even realize the time that passed.

“Leave the dishes in the sink, i'll do them before I go to bed, but I’m going to work a little bit more. Make yourself at home...and there are towels in the bathroom closet in my room.”  Jean says as he gets up from the table and places his plate in the sink. I follow suit and set the dish in the sink as well.

I pause, before nodding that he has to go back to work. I hate his work. “Okay. I’m gonna shower then go to bed.- So… see you after school probably?” I know for sure if he is going to sleep, I’ll be long gone before he wakes up.

“Yeah, tell me if you want me to pick you up.” Jean says with a yawn, ruffling his hair as he walks out of the kitchen. I give him an okay right before he leaves and I run both hands through my hair. Okay. Have to shower tonight, since I won’t be able to do so in the morning without waking Jean up. So I head upstairs to do so, with Tuff at my heels.

♫

**Jan. 5th**

**Monday**

**6:30 AM**

Out of all the things I was expecting to see this morning… Jean dancing around the kitchen in his boxer briefs, singing and cooking to loud music all at the same time was one not one of them. I lean against the wall, still trying to comprehend what I am seeing here. Also another thing I was not expecting was a nipple piercing. Okay it wouldn’t be as surprising if it was two but it’s just _one._ He only has _one nipple pierced._

Who pierces one nipple? Did he chicken out after the first one? Did it hurt? Oh my god it had to hurt. But enough about that- he doesn’t have a bad body. I mean he’s on the skinny side but he has some muscle- I seriously need to stop.

“Holy shit-!” Jean finally notices I’m standing here and he jumps slightly in surprise.

I laugh, tightening my tie more, “I can either say did you forget I was here or why aren’t you asleep?”

“I am very tired. I forgot that you were here until this very moment.” Jean says moving his hands to cover his chest like some shy teenage girl. I know what he’s trying to hide and it’s a little too late for that.

“Thus I get graced with seeing you sporting _one_ nipple piercing.” I roll my eyes, “Get your delusional butt upstairs to bed, I swear.”

“Oh my god. You aren’t suppose to talk about other men’s nipple piercings.” Jean says sighing and leaning against the island. “Do you want breakfast? Because that’s what I was doing because I got hungry...” He says, still bent over to press his face against the granite countertop. I laugh at the sight and walk over to him, running my fingers through his hair while _trying_ not to pay attention at how nice his butt looks.

“Sure, I can grab something to go.”

Jean emits a groan and straightens up to put together a scrambled eggs and cheese toast sandwich. “Go teach the youth of America. I’ll be sleeping.”

I smile widely, taking the sandwich in my hands, “You’re the best. And I sure hope you’ll be sleeping.” I say as I turn to grab my coat by the front door.

“Do I need to do anything for Tuff?”

“No she’s sleep-.” I cut myself off when I see Tuff staring at me from the top of the staircase. “ _was_ sleeping.” I correct. “But not really- she has plenty of food and water I set up for her in the kitchen so.. I dunno. She may stalk you.” Most likely would be a better choice of words. She tends to stick around people like glue.

“Sounds good.” Jean manages through a yawn, shifting to grab something and hold it out to me- a spare key to the house. I smile and take it in my hand.

“Go to sleep.”

♫

**3:00 PM**

Of course the first day back to classes was boring, and the students made that very clear that they wished break was longer. But all I did was pass back graded papers and chat with kids about how their Christmas was and that was is.

I unlock the door to Jean’s house and step inside- it feels awkward almost… because this isn’t my place but god do I love being here. I shift my bag on my shoulder and look around, slipping off my shoes by the door before I head to the kitchen. There’s no sign of Jean- or Tuff for that matter. But considering he went to bed when I woke up.. I’m not going to wake him up. For the love of god he needs sleep.

I take a seat at the kitchen island and lay my bag on top of it to pull out my laptop. I grab a glass of water to get situated before I work on looking over job applications to other schools.

Over time, I pause and look around the kitchen then back at my laptop. A sound at the front door sounds as someone is talking as they open it up- a female voice-

“Oh my god- You were fucking right. I tried with mom and then I tried with dad and they are such fucking-” The voice keeps ranting on as the door closes and I know well enough who it is. Hitch. And I am proved right as she walks into the kitchen and freezes at the sight of me- and I’m not trying to look awkward as I am in mid sip of my drink. “You aren't my brother. Wait... What are you doing here. Am I dreaming?” She has a look of confusion on her face but as well as amusement.

I take a breath, my hands itching to scratch at my head or rub at my nose. “Right- Uh…. Little do you know I hide in your garage and eat your food when everyone is asleep.” I say as calm as I can to lighten the mood with a roll of my eyes. “But seriously though.. My house flooded and I needed some place to stay for a while.” I automatically straighten up from my hunched over position and close my laptop.

“So naturally you decided to stay at your boyfriends house... nice.”

“Hitch-” I bite the bottom of my lip nervously. “He’s just my friend.” For some reason those words coming out of my mouth sounded more false than when I say _I’m fine_ half the time. It’s stale and bitter.

“Calm your nipples Mr. B, it’s all good. But is he like dead or did her go out to the store because I seriously need to bitch to him about how much of a bag of dicks our father is.” She says, letting her duffle bag fall to the floor. I sigh, my shoulders shrugging.

“He’s probably still asleep with Tuff…” I pause, debating on telling her to let him sleep but.. I’m in no position to tell her that. “Go wake him up if you must.”

“Tuff?” She questions and I’m about to explain to her but our attention is diverted to Jean who is still in his underwear, bedheaded, and has Tuff tucked against him.

“Hitch? Wait- what time is it even??” He sounds so confused.

I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. “It’s four.” I clarify.

It takes a few seconds but Hitch notices Tuff and she lets out a screech of excitement. “Dude. Did you get me a cat!?” She takes Tuff from Jean’s arms and buries her face in her fur. “Oh my god!”

“Hitch- that’s Marco’s cat. Give her back to him.”

I laugh at the interaction and wave my hand, “It’s okay Jean. If Tuff gets annoyed, we’ll know.” She gets her way with anything, and a scratch or bite later means she’s not too happy. But she’ll be okay, she won’t hurt anyone usually- at least Hitch of all people.

“She’s so fluffy!” She nuzzles her face against Tuff. “Wait.. why aren’t you all puffy and gross?” We both look over at Jean as he walks over to the fridge.

“So many drugs.”

I clear my throat to get their attention. “Anyways.. Should I go elsewhere so you can talk?” I ask, eyeing Hitch because she was wanting to rant to Jean about their parents.

"Naw. I don't want to talk right now. WE SHOULD BUILD A BLANKET FORT!" She says excitedly, avoiding the topic. I look over at Jean now and shift to grab my things from the island. If she won’t admit she wants to talk then I’m taking charge to leave the room so she feels she can.

“I’m going to go change.” I say, excusing myself from the room to head upstairs. I close the bedroom door behind me, leaving it open slightly as I get a change of clothes from the dresser. Eventually I end up laying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling fan. I want to help them. I really do. I want to be able to do _something_ to alleviate their burden. I don’t know how much time passes till I hear my name being called from the hallway.

“Marco?”

I make some kind of questioning noise as I sit up and make my way over to the door, stepping outside to see Jean leaning against the wall and actually fully clothed.

“Oh look. You got dressed.” I tease, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Shut up.” He retaliates by poking me but I shy away from the light jabs in my sides. “Hitch has requested Dairy Queen for dinner. Care to accompany us?”

I smile and shake my head no, “Nah, that’s alright. I’m not hungry at the moment.” Which is part of the truth, but I’m sure that’s their thing to do together and I rather not let my presence impede on that.

“Fine. Don’t burn down the house.”

“I won’t I won’t” I laugh softly, “Have fun.

♫

**6 PM**

“We’re back! I brought you a blizzard, Marco.”

That’s what I hear as Hitch storms into the house. I open up one eye from my spot on the living room couch where I apparently fell asleep with Tuff curled up under my chin. “Welcome back.” I manage to say through a yawn.

"Marco it's an Oreo blizzard." She says like it’s the most serious topic to be discussed. All I can do is sit up and give an ‘okay’ as I stretch. Jean walks in the living room behind her with a laugh, which makes her head snap in his direction. “Go get blankets. I want a fort.” Surprisingly, he just rolls his eyes and wanders off obediently, which makes me laugh, shifting Tuff in my arms as I look over at Hitch.

“Trade cat for blizzard?” I ask.

“Best trade ever.” She flops on the couch and we trade off. “Ooooh you’re a cutie aren’t you. I would steal you.” She brushes her cheek against Tuff. I laugh at the cute interaction and put a spoonful of the blizzard in my mouth contently.

“You can probably get her to sleep with you in your room if you want?”

Hitch sits up, Tuff still in her hold. “Have I ever told you that I love you.” She states dramatically.

“You said I was your favorite.” I smile.

Hitch flashes me grin and Jean comes up beside the couch and drops a big stack of blankets beside us.

"Come on Marco, we need to build this fort." Hitch hums as she snuggles Tuff. I just roll my eyes and comply, getting up.

"Ahh yes, my man servants, build the fort" She muses up at Jean and I.

"Hitch no. You have to help." Jean says and we both shake our heads at being called ‘man servants.’ I set my blizzard aside and the three of us get to work on deconstructing the couch to set up the foundations for the blanket fort, which all in all.. takes about 30 minutes to build. It took us five minutes to get Hitch to put down Tuff.

“It’s beautiful!” Hitch exclaims as she crawls inside of it. “I declare Tuff queen of the fort.”

I chuckle and lean over to pick up my forgotten blizzard. “I’m sure she gladly accepts.” I say as I step to the kitchen, needing to take a breather for a second. I lean against the island and look up to see that Jean has followed me.

“Sorry, I know you probably didn’t want to be around teenagers at school then come back to a teenager but my parents really screwed her over.”

I shake my head to dismiss his comment. “No no it’s okay. I mean I have a brother so… it’s nice. Plus I figured about the parents cause she came in ranting.”

“Yeah….. also she wanted me to apologize to you for her calling you my boyfriend or something like that.” He adds with a roll of his eyes and god I hope I’m not blushing or anything.

“Of course she would…” I mutter, changing topics. “But I did startle her though- then said I lived in your garage and ate your food when everyone’s asleep.”

"Nice." Jean laughs at my comment.  

“So- I don’t think I’ll be seeing Tuff for the rest of this stay.” I chuckle, resting my chin on my hand. “But she’ll be so occupied she won’t worry about me much.” Tuff is known for worrying about me, but I’m glad she has others to worry about now.. it’s in her nature… she’s pretty much a therapy cat and a good one at that.

"Hitch is in love with that cat," Jean muses and I hum in agreement.

“It’s cute.”

"Yeah...." Is all Jean says as he leans against the counter next to me. I glance over at him before looking away, chewing at my bottom lip absentmindedly as I hesitate.

“So.. uh.. can I help you guys at all? With your parents?” I finally ask.

"It's beyond help."

I try again.

“Can I support you two in any way?”

"We'll be fine Marco. Thank you."

I just nod because I don’t know what to say. What am I thinking? I can’t really help them in any way. I take a deep breath after a few long moments of just staring at my half eaten blizzard before I straighten up. “I’m gonna run to the nearby store and grab some stuff.”

Not really- but I need to walk to clear my head.

“I’ll drive you.” Jean says, following me as I grab my jacket.

“It’s a ten minute walk. I’ll be fine.” I say calmly, not wanting to tell him I want to be alone.

“Wear a scarf.”

“I will I will. Make sure Hitch doesn’t suffocate Tuff.” I say as I slip on my jacket, shoes and scarf, pulling out my hat from the pocket.

"Will do" Jean responds and I open up the door and step out into the cold.

I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cold dry air to wake myself up as I trudge down the sidewalk, snow crunching under my shoes. It takes me a minute to feel like an idiot. I literally just left because I got upset over that fact that I feel useless in Jean and Hitch’s own _personal_ matters. How stupid can I get sometimes? I just… want to help.

By the time I’ve reached the grocery store, which was ten minutes away, I’ve composed myself to quit being a spontaneous downer. I wander around the store aimlessly for a while before I decide to actually grab some things we might need. I am horrible with keeping track of how long I was away before I head back out into the cold. What doesn’t help is that I am carrying a couple of bags and it’s gotten colder out.. my hands are freezing.

When I return, I can’t set things down to open up the door and instead of struggling.. I just knock on the door with the side of my foot. It takes a few minutes but the door is opened by Jean, who greets me with, “Are you here to talk about my lord and savior Jesus Christ?”

“Shut up and let me in I can’t feel my fingers.” I admit under my breath. I can feel myself shaking from the cold as I stand there. Jean steps out of the walk and I quickly walk inside, only to have the bags yanked from my hands.

“God I need to get you warmed up- Uh- I mean- just… there’s a fire going in the living room.”

I take a breath, following Jean to the kitchen after only catching the tail end of what he said,  “Okay so- I got hot chocolate stuff.. uh, found some shampoo for Tuff, I found some chicken fried rice for dinner one night… some lunch meat for lunches- you didn’t exactly have too much in the way of fixings-” I end up rambling but Jean stops me and pushes his hands against my back

“Go sit by the fire. You’re such an idiot for not letting me drive you.” He says, pushing me to the living room. I try resisting his pushes but give up after a few attempts.

“I’m not an idiot…” I say, plopping down by the fireplace.

“No you are just a popsicle,” Jean calls from the kitchen. I huff and untie my shoes and set them closer to the fireplace before shrugging off my jacket and setting it aside. The blanket fort is still standing and I can hear a few off tune piano notes that roughly come together to make a tune.

“Fucking unicorn dicks!” Hitch yells in frustration. I lean forward as I hear a meow in response before the notes come again. I smile softly and look over my shoulder to the opening of blankets, clicking my tongue. I hear some shifting and Tuff emerges from the fort.

“Try and A instead of a G.” I suggest.  

“Thank you..” Hitch grumbles passively and I hear her try again, and it sounds better but she’s hesitating between them to much- I flinch at the sound of multiple keys being pressed at once in a awful cacophony of noise.

“Just takes time Hitch. You’re doing fine.” I reassure her as I run my fingers through Tuff’s fur. I wait for some kind of response but I hear nothing. I shift and stare at the fort.

“Hitch?” I pause and wait again but I don’t get an answer so I crawl under the blankets to see Hitch staring at the keyboard, I see her eyes glass over.. No no she doesn’t need to be crying-

“Hitch?” I say softly.

“No I’m fine. Sorry.” She says quickly, drawing up into a little ball, curling around herself.

I’ve said those words enough to know when they are lies. I shift the keyboard away from her and I take a seat right next to her. “You’re a terrible liar.” I whisper, placing a hand on her head.

“No I’m really good at lying,” Hitch says through a sniffle.

“Mhmm..” I raise an eyebrow and look at Tuff who’s at my feet. I nod to give her an okay and she rubs up against Hitch’s leg, purring loudly. I glance over at Hitch again, at least she’s reaching out to pet Tuff.

“I’ll be okay. I’m just being emotional.”

I sigh and look down at Tuff. “Do you need to talk about it or anything?” I ask.

“No. Marco you don’t need to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you deal with me at school so you don’t have to deal with me here.” Hitch says and then crawls out of the fort. I quickly follow after her, taking my seat again by the fire.

“I don’t think that exactly matters.” Sometimes I hate being a teacher. Because it means outside of school I am useless. But thank god Hitch just sits a little away from me, and she just shrugs her shoulder. I tap my fingers to my knee in thought before leaning over to fish the keyboard out from under the fort.

“Favorite song?” I ask as I situate it on my lap.

I watch a smile spread across Hitch’s face, “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Give me another.” I roll my eyes. God I don’t even know how to play that anyways.

“You’ve got a Friend in me. From Toy Story?” Hitch says. “And if you tell anyone that that is my favorite song I’ll beat you up.” Now that’s a song I know how to play- considering Toy story is one of my favorite movies.

“Won’t tell a soul Hitch.” I hum with a smile on my face as I tap my keys to the familiar, upbeat tune. Hitch almost immediately hums along and I have to resist singing along to it. Hitch is still smiling when I finish and I bring a hand up to ruffle her hair.

“Look… I may be your teacher, but remember… I have a little brother too.. I am pretty much the same age as Jean. I am not some.. strict teacher who hates to deal with students. I understand that life does suck, but it’ll be okay. You have people there for you, and I am always willing to help you.”

The words come out slowly, carefully, cautiously. I don’t wait for her to respond, I want it to sink in so I quickly set the keyboard aside and get up, heading for the stairs because I need to get ready for bed.

I don’t know how long Jean has been standing there but he grabs my wrist when I pass him and pulls me to a stop. I feel his hand tighten around my wrist as he gently squeezes it. I watch him, and he stares back at me, mouthing ‘thank you.’ I nod and pause for a minute, scanning his face like I’m searching for something in his eyes. Which was a bad idea because I get lost staring into them. I don’t why- but I bring my hand to the back of his head and bring it forward so his forehead rests against mine, still looking him straight in the eyes, close enough that our noses touch. “That goes for you too.” I whisper. Without giving him much time to react, I pull back to quickly rush upstairs, fighting back a blush in realization at what I just did.

  
Those two need to be protected. More than anything in the world I want them to be happy and safe. Is that too much to ask? For them to be stress free, away from any abuse or torment or whatever goes on at their parent’s home. I would do anything to make them happy- probably mother the crap out of them because that’s just how I do things but- I will protect them.. to the best of my ability.


End file.
